


Words of betrayal

by Loveforthestory



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fighting Together, Friendship, Hope, Love, Sexual Content, charloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:23:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 133,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2021439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveforthestory/pseuds/Loveforthestory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie will crash with her mother in a way she did know was possible. When everything around her is already spinning, a reveal from the past brings her almost down to her knees. This is a story about what happened when Charlie thought things were over, and time was running out. A story about her and Bass. About what happened after their fight against the patriots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_He slowly guided her upper body towards him, her back finding its way to his chest. He felt how Charlie almost collapsed as her knees were giving up from under her and he moved one of his arms to and around her waist._ _He waited again, while his heart rate quickened. And then something happened Bass never saw coming. Instead of fighting him, instead of pushing him away she just let herself sink into his chest. He instinctively pulled her closer, his arms firmly around her, the weight of her body against his own._

 Chapter one 

Miles was still missing, and Charlie had woken up to yet another day with no sign of him. Charlie felt nauseating worry as she grabbed her stuff and weapons, as she literally felt felt sick to her stomach at the possibility of losing another piece of herself. That feeling was keeping her company as a dark cloud over her head every step she took this grey cold morning in an abondoned landscape. They had walked and had searched for Miles for hours now. Monroe had barely looked at her when they had walked out of camp hours before sunrise as he had joined them.

The sky was grey while  a cold wind was  beating straight through her leather jacket. It was not even noon when they  reached a crossing and because of the start of the pavement of the road before them, she was not able to track anymore. She had no idea where to go next.

Monroe was his giant asshole self as he  made an insulting comment filled with bitter sarcasm about her tracking skills. She noticed he was not being a jerk on purpose, and that he was probably just as worried as she was, but it made her feel like punching him right in the face if she wasn't feeling so exhausted. _So maybe not on purpose, but still a jerk_. Did he really expect her to track over pavement?

Monroe took the lead and  decided they had to split up, each of them taking a road. She knew she was taking a risk going out there on her own, but she knew they had to. _She_ had to for Miles. And it was not like she had never been on her own, there where it had been just the road and her. Her mother and Monroe did not seem to protest very much either. In fact, her mother did not protest at all. Her mind, no doubt, with Miles. 

But instead of finding Miles, Neville found her within thrity minutes. And when he ordered her to move her ass back to their camp because he was convinced Jason was there, it was Jason's dead face, that kept her company for every agonizing step of the way,

* * *

One hour later and Charlie was trembling as she pushed herself to keep on going and to leave the safe house and Tom Neville in it behind her As she stumbled through the forest, flashes of what happened after he had found her, were filling her head. She relived them over and over again.

The safe house. Neville's gun. The shots he had fired over her head. His bullets in the wall behind her. Guilt, pain, Jason's body in her arms, bleeding out. Charlie felt unfocused when she had walked away from a broken Neville while her whole body had been termbling. Unfocused and sharp at the same time. Not believing herself that she was able to walk away alive from this. From him. After what she did in Austin. She did not think she deserved it, but somehow she had gotten a second change. She was alive, after he pulled the trigger. An empty clip saving her life. The sound still resounding in her head. The shock on Neville's face and the numbdness of his grieve her escape route.

She kept on walking as far as her feet could take her.  Searching for her mother and Monroe, to warn them and their camp for the threat that was Neville still out there. She heard them before she saw them, their voices filled with cold and hate.

'If I am that bad, and you are that good, please explain to me that night in Philly,'  It was Monroe's voice. Charlie took one more step as she could see the both of them standing near a small creeck. He was standing so close to her mother, his face filled with harsh lines, his eyes filled with rage and hurt at the same time.

'I was your prisoner,'  It was her mother's voice, as Rachel's eyes were filled with intense loathing.  

Charlie felt how her veins were filling with ice. She heard the words, as her mind was slowly understanding them. It somehow felt like it had nothing to do with her, with her life, like it was not real.

'Nobody forced you,' Monroe's voice sounded on edge.

Her mother and Monroe did not know she was there, they had not noticed her, and Charlie felt the intense need to keep it this way. She was not able to watch them, to listen to another word that came from their mouths. She vaguely registered the sound of a hand slapping bare skin. She did not have to look anymore to know her mother just hit Monroe. She felt exhausted, her legs felt numb. The words, still there in the bitter cold and grey air around her, slowly turned to unwanted images in her head.

Philly. Her mother. Monroe.

The woman who invested all her time in hate for this man. The woman who switched between missing Danny, revenging Danny and hating Monroe even more until the point where Charlie felt like she did not matter any more. Everything had been about Danny so many times. But she was still alive and here, needing her mother. Charlie loved Danny, and understood why he had been the main focus of her partens for so many times. She would have done anything for him. But she still was a daughter, in need of her mother.

The woman who did not wanted to listen to her when she came back to Willoughby after Vegas and the Tower, together with Monroe. The woman who was not willing to listen to what it did to her, when she was almost raped on that horrible night in that the bar when he had saved her life.

The woman who left her and her family without an explanation when she was still so young. The woman who almost never mentioned her father again, like he had never even existed. Letting him fade away, memories getting lost more and more.

Her mother. Monroe. Philly. Charlie had reached a point where she felt the impossible weight of so many things. Miles missing, Jason gone, Neville somewhere out there. Her whole body went numb slowly. The only thing left was the intense feeling of complete abandonment. The only thing left was a chest full of tears.

She did not know how she got back to their camp, she had just turned around and had started to walk. Putting distance between her and her mother. Putting distance between her and bitter dissapointment and not knowing what to do next. Putting distance between images in her mind of her mother, with Monroe. Putting distance between her and the intense sense of betrayal. The words from her mother and Monroe were echoing around her.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading the start of this story. I love knowing you are there, loving Revolution as much as I do. More soon! Love from Love**


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie told herself to keep on walking, reminding herself to put one foot in front of the other. She could see her boots, but her legs were not feeling like they belonged to her. Tears were running down her cheek, the salty tears burning as the touched  the wounds in her face from her struggling with Jason. She hardly noticed  she was crying. The  world around her was far away, her breathing heavy.

All of a sudden she missed Miles so much, that it was almost impossible to keep on breathing. She had never truly realised how much he had started to mean to her, until she realised she was walking back to camp, but not to him. She never realized how much  Miles had already made a difference for her in such a short time. It was childish maybe, but she longed for him. She longed for long strong arms. His hand resting on her hair, safely wrapped around the back of her head. She longed for his scent, for his chest, for his dark eyes there waiting for her.

She had made more progress than she had realised, because Charlie could see  their camp not that far away. The day was slowly fading, the sky started to become even more grey and dark and rain was on its way. She felt many eyes on her as she stumbled back into camp.  Aaron was sitting in front of a fire, her grandfather was busy stitching a shoulder wound. Connor was leaning against a wall, cleaning his weapons. He had noticed her, and Charlie hoped with all her being he would not approach her. She hoped that nobody would approach her. 

She did not wanted to talk, she wanted to be invisible, to just disappear. Normally obstacles of any kind laying before her made her want to explode, to dive in and confront things head on. She was not a woman who would walk away from a fight, from any fight for that matter. But this time, she just wanted to implode, to let the world go on without her.

So she kept on walking, straight to the building in front of her, thankful for the cover the empty building in the centre of their camp provided. Charlie slipped into one of the empty rooms. The room felt hollow, as coldness was radiating from the walls. It was dark and full of shadows. It was exactly what she needed. Feeling exhausted, she let herself slide down one of the hard walls. The structure of the wall behind her, set her back on fire with its roughness,  but she didn't care. She almost welcomed the pain. It muted her other pain.

The hurt and threat in Neville's eyes intruded her mind again, the sound of the gun when he pulled the trigger still ringing in her ears, over and over again. She could not stop the images and sound of the past day. Her mother, Monroe, Philly. The sound of their voices, the harsh lines on both of their faces. All that hate, all that venom. 

The past couple of months had taught her that there was so much that had happened in all those years since the power went out and her life changed for good. Years and years of high pressure, of hurt, loss, damage, of families shattered, of death, realising that her parents were not the people she thought they were. Realising there were many versions filled with different kind of truths of one story.

But she had felt that she was finally getting a little bit closer to her mother. With little gestures from her mother, conversations, a sense of something that she thought was lost forever. But now she realised that there was just more she did not know about her mother. Charlie realised that there was more to her mother's hate and loathing for all the things Monroe did to her The moment she heard her mother going for the defence when Rachel had thrown in his face that she had been Monroe's prisoner, and the moment she heard Monroe's response, followed by the harsh sound of a hand slapping his face, she just knew. Monroe had not forced her, she was sure.

And finally, a little piece of the puzzle started to make sense. The intensity of her mother's feelings, the looks between her and Monroe. The way she kept on seperating Miles from Monroe, lashing out to Monroe in a way that was filled with something Charlie never completely understood. It was not only hate for Monroe, but maybe it was hate for herself as well, hate and guilt, that fuelled her mother's actions as well.

Charlie did something she hadn't done in a long time. She let go, she let go of the pain, the hurt as she let tears come. She was crying with her whole body. She pulled her  knees closer to her body, resting her cheek on top of one of them. She felt strangely safe, the dark room almost swallowing her whole.

After what felt like forever, she could hear footsteps approaching. When she looked up, she looked directly in the face of Aaron, who looked beyond worried.

'Charlie? Are you okay?' Aaron felt unsure what to do. He had watched Charlie walk back into camp, her face full of defeat, her eyes missing the usual Charlie spark.

'I am fine Aaron,' she tried, without much conviction. She hated that Aaron saw this part of her.

'Euhm, no , you are not. I haven't seen you cry in like, forever.'

'Don't want to talk about it,' she pushed Aaron away with the force in her voice. She hated the sound of her own voice. This was Aaron. Her friend. Her friend that was afraid of bees, and still walked all the way with her to Chicago and then to Philly.

' I... ' She started, not sure what to say. She was not ready to touch the part about her mother's past in Philly. There was a part in her that understood that if this truth came out, it would change things forever. Maybe tear things apart within their group for good. And Miles, no..god.Miles.

Aaron sat next to her, keeping his distance from her. He knew that Charlie only was going to talk if she was ready. There was a long silence between them, as the air filled with the sounds of the daily routines of their camp very far away.

'Neville, he... ' Charlie finally broke the silence.

Aaron's face filled with even more worry.

'He found me. Looking for Jason. He wanted me to lead him back to our camp, work his way through all of you until he would find out what happened to him.'

Aaron remembered the day he had seen Neville for the first time, ordering the Militia to shoot their way through their village, through his family and friends. Charlie knew his mind was there, because her mind was there too, the moment Neville made that threat directly to her.

'I couldn't let him do that. Aaron, I couldn't. So, I took him to the safe house,  trying to reach for a weapon we left there strapped under a table,' her voice was fading, almost a whisper. 'He...he knew exactly what I was doing, he shoved me against a wall and put six warning shots in that wall, just above my head,'

Silence again. Tears coming back.

'And then I just couldn't hang on anymore, he had already seen it in my eyes. He knew.'

Aarons heart almost stopped when Charlie told him about what happened next. When she touched the angry red spot right above her temple  when she told him where Neville put his gun before he had pulled the trigger, his heart broke for her as tears pooled in his eyes as well.

'I am alive, I don't know why, but I still am,' she said this, more to herself than to Aaron.

'Charlie...I...'  He knew that there were no words right now he could pick that would truly help her. So he put his right hand slowly and gently on her left one. They sat like that in the darkness for quite a while. Charlie felt the warmth of Aaron's hand over hers. Somebody still cared, she thought to herself. Somebody still noticed her. Neither of them spoke, as Aaron kept her company in the only way he could think of now.

* * *

 Aaron had waited, sitting next to Charlie, until she was ready to move. They walked out of the greyness, and when Charlie felt the fresh air hitting her face, she noticed the world was not that far away anymore. It was enough to ground her again, just a little. Aaron put her in front of a fire, and made sure she ate something. Charlie let him take care of her for once. Her back against a big rock, giving her some support.

Somewhere from the corner of her eyes she saw how her mother and Monroe walked into camp, together. No Miles. Hurt, disgust and more hurt were fighting in the back of her throat. She saw how Aaron started walking towards her mother. She turned her eyes away. Darkness was complete now, as the sun had left them for another night. So that meant another day coming to and end, and another night waiting for her to face alone, knowing Miles was not safe, and not by her side. She closed her eyes and pretended she was asleep, not wanting to take on anything more the world could throw her way today.

* * *

 Aaron had watched Charlie eat something as she finally gave in to some rest. Her eyes were still unfocused and full of hurt. She looked pale. He saw Rachel approaching when she walked into camp, and with a big sigh he realised Monroe was walking in his direction too. Looking at them told him immediately that there was still no news from Miles. He only focussed on Rachel when he started talking.

'Rachel, we need to talk,' Aaron started, nodding in Charlie's direction, who seemed to have fallen fall asleep, wrapped in a blanket.

Rachel looked at her daughter. Aaron saw the look of worry on her face when she saw Charlie, pale and exhausted. What he did not expect was to find Monroe's eyes following his nod towards Charlie as well. Did he see a look of concern on his face too? He shook his head to regain focus.

'It's about Charlie,' he continued. There it was again, Monroe's eyes lit up a little when he heard Charlie's name.

'What about Charlie?' Rachel voice was filled with urgency and worry all of a sudden, 'is she okay?'

'No, Rachel, she is not. She is as far from okay as you can imagine.'

Yup, Aaron thought to himself with his usual irony that was not far even on the darkest longest days they all faced together. He was not imagining anything. Here he was and standing before him was Sebastian Monroe, with actual concern in his eyes. Concern in his eyes when he looked at Charlie, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your very kind feedback! More soon! Love from Love


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel looked at her daughter. Charlie looked fragile, tucked away behind her blanket by the fire. Aaron could not help but notice a little twitch around Rachel's lips.

Monroe kept his distance from Aaron and Rachel, but somehow he was not walking away. Although Aaron really wished he would.

'You might want to sit down, Rachel,' Aaron started, hesitating.

'Aaron, just tell me what's wrong.' Rachel's voice sounded sharper, there was more pressure behind her words as she spoke. Her eyes were searching for an answer. Aaron knew she would not stop until she knew everything. So he decided to get straight to the point, however it hurt him to tell the story.

'Neville... he found her Rachel, he was looking for his son, but he found Charlie,'

Rachel's eyes went from Aaron to Charlie and then back to Aaron. Monroe's face tensed up, his jaw locked.

'He told her to bring him back to us, to our camp, so he could...he could work his way through all of us until he know where Jason was. Charlie took him to your former safe house and tried to fight him. But she couldn't...' He had to pause, remembering how lost Charlie had looked in that dark and hollow room not so long ago. 'Rachel, he put bullets in the wall behind her, just above her head and then..he put his gun to her face... and pulled the trigger.' Aaron said softly, as Rachel's eyes filled with horror and something else Aaron could not place.

'What?' The voice came from Monroe, his voice sounded deep, but hoarse. Aaron could see how he was swallowing uncomfortably.

So, this was new, flashed through Aaron's mind quickly with sarcasm, seeing this side from from Monroe.

'The gun..it was empty. It's what spared her life,' Aaron said, not knowing if he was talking to Rachel or Monroe anymore.

Rachel's eyes grew darker, her mind racing, Aaron knew that expression on her face.

When she finally spoke again her voice was almost a whisper . 'When Aaron, when?'

'Charlie told me it did not take Neville long to find her, after you guys had to split up.'

'No..' It was the only thing Rachel was able to say. She shook her head. 'No...'

Aaron watched how Rachel's expression went from devastation to something that was darker, something he could not place as well. Rachel closed the distance with her and Charlie within moments and she crouched down next to her daughter.

'Charlie?,' she whispered as softly as she could, not to startle her.' Charlie, honey, please wake up.'

Charlie had heard her mother talking to Aaron before she felt how her mom had walked towards her. She had not been able to hear exactly what they were talking about because they were almost out of hearing reach, but she knew it was about her. She had however heard Neville's name again, ad it had made her heart race, a cold fist clenched around it. And somehow she had noticed that even Monroe had ended up in that conversation.

The soft tone in her mother's voice already irritated her beyond anything. She had wanted to keep her eyes closed, faking sleep and nd hoping her mother would leave her alone. But the build up of the irritation within her made it impossible. She opened her eyes and looked directly into her mother's eyes.

Rachel saw the intensity in Charlie's eyes and mistakenly took it for the hurt of everything that had filled her daughters day and worry about Miles. She slowly reached out her hand to brush through Charlie's hair. Charlie pulled away, her eyes flickering with anger now.

'Aaron told me,' Rachel started , 'Aaron told me about Neville. I am so sorry,'

'You are sorry?' Charlie's voice was harsh, she had almost shouted the word sorry.

She could see the look of surprise on her mother's face. Charlie turned her eyes away from her and stared into the fire.

'Why..why did you not come and find me?' Rachel asked with confusion.

'I did.'  Charlie felt her body and mind coming to an almost full stopl, like the feeling she had expierenced once when she had fainted after a long warm day on the road, as the sounds of the camp were now fading away. And even with the cool night air around her, all of a sudden there was not enough oxygen, her blanket was constricting her. 'I did mom. But you were busy.'  There was coolness in her voice.

There was a deafening silence in the air. Charlie watched how her mother's face filled with horrible  surprise. Then it went blank for a second, then her eyes lit up. Her mouth opened just a little, and then she looked at the ground, horrified.

Charlie saw how her mother was struggling for words. Finally she started to speak again.

'Let me explain, I...'

Charlie felt a wave of sheer hurt and betrayal  crashing over her. 'Get the hell away from me.' It took her everything she had left to say these words to her mother.

When she realised Rachel was not moving, and she felt the tears fighting for release she took a sharp breath and this time coolness turned into a raging fire when she looked directly at Rachel. 'Now!'   Then she could not face her mother again. She turned her head as she stared into the dark night, her vision blurred, but she felt how her mother got up and walked away from her.

Rachel stormed back to where a stunned Aaron and Monroe had been watching her and Charlie. She gave Monroe a look full of loathing. 'She knows, ' she was hissing the words into Monroe's direction, soft enough for only him to hear, her words were filled with blame, anger and hate.

Aaron was beyond confused. He did not know what just happened between Rachel and Charlie. But by the look of Rachel's face and Charlie's outburst it was far from good. He watched Rachel marching past Monroe, say something to him and throwing her weapon and her bag to the ground by another fire, not far away.

Monroe just stood there, nailed to the ground, looking at Rachel when she walked away. He then turned his eyes to Charlie, looking absolutely shocked as something dark was brooding in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feedback, I am working on chapter four and will publish that one soon! Love from Love


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, welcome to chapter four. Thank you for reviewing and reading, it means a lot to me, thank you!  
> Disclaimer: as always, I do not own Revolution, this is fanfiction and just a daydream about what could have happened too.

Somehow Charlie had fallen asleep. After Rachel left her, every part of her body had felt so exhausted that she had just given into grey sleep and reams. Her body had made the decision for her. Right before she went to sleep she could feel her mother's eyes on her. And when she had woken up one hour before dawn, she had spotted Monroe and Connor near a fire to her left. Connor was asleep. Monroe wasn't. Just when she had turned her head towards him, he had looked back into the fire. Charlie knew him well enough to know that his eyes had been on her.

Just looking at him caused her mind to form images with him and her mother.  She had felt anger, loathing and something else she was not willing to feel. Yet. Something that she had not expected. Every part in her wanted to go over him and confront him. Every part in her wanted to go over to her mother to do the same. But today and right before dawn, she found something of herself back, enough of her to let some of the greyness from the day before escape from her heavy heart.

It was Neville, _Neville of all people,_ that had made her see how much she did want to live. Although at the moment before he put his gun to her head, she had felt she deserved to, and wanted to die.

Today was about Miles, and she was not going to waste anymore time. Through all the mess and uncertainty she knew not finding him was simply not an option. He had never left her behind while he became a constant in her life. She was not giving up on him.

So, she used her Matheson stubbornness and strength to get up from her place near the fire. She pushed the blanket away. Her body felt heavy, but when she stretched and let the pure and brisk morning air fill her lungs it came back to life. She pushed her weapon between the skin of her back and the waistband of her jeans, a familiar feeling against her skin keeping her company, as always. Without it she felt almost naked, it had become such a deep part of who she had become.

The sun had not come up yet, but lines of a lighter blue on the horizon revealed that sunrise was not that far away anymore. And that meant she could start looking for Miles soon. The camp was starting to wake up when Charlie found some breakfast and water. She was busy packing her bag for the day when she heard the voice of her mother behind her.

'Charlie, hey... Can we talk?'

The sound of her voice was way too soft and formed a new wave of irritation. Anger was bubbling inside of her. Charlie she turned around fast, facing her mother  her eyes piercing into hers. 'So now, you do want to talk? Months and months of _you_ not wanting to talk, of you not wanting to listen to my story, from the moment I came back to Willoughby with...'

She could see they were attracting attention, including from Monroe and Monroe junior. She knew Monroe could hear her. And by the look on his face she knew that he knew exactly what she was talking about. She had to pause to regain some control over herself. Memories coming back from her mother calling her 'that stupid' for bringing Monroe back when she had returned with him to warn them about the patriot threat. It just dawned on her what a hypocritical thing that was to say that day, since her mother had ended up sleeping with MOnroe.

' Charlie, I know you are upset, but let me explain, he...'  Rachel did her best to keep her voice in a calm range  but her face told Charlie a whole different story. The nervous twitch in her face Charlie knew so well accompanied her words.

'Save it, mom,' Her words turned into something sharp and distant. 'I'm not going to do this right now. I have better things to do than standing her and talking about who you shared your bed with.' Charlie felt tears behind her eyes, tears she was not willing to share. She pushed them back with one angry breath. 'Today is about Miles, today is for Miles,' She grabbed another bottle, filled it with water and walked away from her mother. She threw her bag around one shoulder as her knife was strapped against her thigh.

Half the camp was starring at her, Aaron and her grandfather included. And when she walked past Monroe and Connor she noticed how Monroe did not even have the balls to look at her directly. He was fiddling with his gun. _Coward_ , she thought.  Connor took one step towards her. He wanted to ask her if everything was okay but before he could Charlie opened her mouth.

'Connor, don't. If you are not going to help find Miles then just walk away,' She had seen real concern on his face, and she knew he probably meant well, but she did not want to talk to him. She kept walking and started heading out of camp. She knew her mother and Monroe were going to follow her, but all she could, and all she wanted to think about now was Miles. Finding Miles.

'Charlie, wait!' It was Monroe's voice. His tone formal but she heard he really wanted her to listen. She felt how he was catching up behind her as she kept on going, booting one boot in front of the other.

'What, Monroe,' She stopped and picked a spot on the horizon as she zipped up her jacket.

Monroe heard the loathing in Charlie's voice, and it reminded him of those first damn days he had spent with her on the road from Portsboro to Willoughby. It felt like the small amount of distance they had closed over the past months and the weird but still noticable bound between them had evaporated. Her eyes, even when furious, had always found his. But this time she was not even looking at him. It stung more than he had expected.

'We are not going to split up today,' Monroe barked at her. It sounded like a command.

Charlie heard the tone in his voice and felt a bitter huff coming from within her. So, he was going for the General Monroe again. Arrogant son of a bitch.

She started walking again, hoping her face would send the message of get the hell away from me. Of course he didn't.

'Charlie, damn it, wait.' Monroe yelled at her with steel irriation in his words and eyes. 

His tone was almost a growl but it lacked the arrogance Charlie had expected. Monroe's hand reached for her arm, before he changed his mind. Charlie stopped and turned around, furious. Her eyes went to his arm before piercing into his eyes. Was he really thinking of touching her? Seriously?  She threw him her best are you kidding me look. Before she had a chance to speak he started talking again.

'Neville is not going to hurt you again. Hell, Charlie, you can push me away all you want, but he is not going to hurt you again.' He spoke slowly, two fingers pointed her way.

Charlie could not help but notice the expression in his eyes. There was an urgency in his voice and eyes, but also something deeper. Something she was not able to figure out, like the story in his eyes that afternoon he came back for her at the school. She was not able to push him away, like she wanted to. This felt familiar, like moments they had shared before. Moments of understanding, no matter what the odds. No matter what was happening around and to them.

Before she knew what she had done, she had nodded. Monroe felt a hint of warmth when she finally  looked at him again as he saw something of the Charlotte he had gotten to know on the road move back in those damn eyes of her. It was an almost invisible nod to anyone else, but not to him. He felt fucking pathetic, but her nod craches right into his damn chest. 

Charlie turned away from him as they both walked into another day of searchng for Miles.

* * *

 They did not split up. They searched in silence, the focus back on finding Miles. Charlie would not say it out loud, thinking it out loud for herself was already a problem, but she was glad Monroe was around as the desolation of the landscape closed like a net around her. Knowing Neville, he was still out there.

It was another long day, the sun was there but the wind was still chilly and the fields felt empty and abandoned. She had tried to find some tracks again and tried to get into her uncle's head. Charlie had this nagging feeling that she was missing something, that maybe there was still a lead to where Miles went, hidden in the landscape on the ground. Her mother was not that far from her and Monroe, near a line of trees as Monroe's eyes looked through the landscape. He looked tired, worn, older. Worried. The same worry she felt in her bones.

Charlie felt thirsty, as she took a sip from her bottle and then she went back to the ritual that had formed the past couple of days. Looking, searching, yelling out his name and looknig some more. She had not expected a reaction when she shouted out his name again, but from the corner of his eyes she could see a movement.

A hand, dried blood on the skin, shaky but there, right above the grass. Her heart jumped. She dropped her bag and ran over. Intuitively she knew it was him but she was not ready to believe that luck, finally was on her side. Afraid for another disappointment. But when she came closer she knew, without a doubt, that it was Miles on the ground, his body hidden in the grass.

Her heart fluttered and her stomach turned at the same time. Warmth was filling her from within. He looked terrible, wounded, hurt and exhausted but he was alive. She reached for his hand, and let her hand glide into his. She let herself fall down near his head. Then both of her hands went to his head, holding him gently. She screamed as hard as she could for her mother and Monroe. She could see them rush in from the distance.

'I've got you Miles, I've got you,' her voice was strong and filled with gentleness at the same time. She kept repeating those same words. Over and over again. Her tears flowing freely as she held Miles' head in her hand. 'I've got you.'


	5. Chapter 5

When Bass heard Charlie scream he felt her primal scream inside his damn stomach. It was so rare to hear her like this that it immediately stopped him cold in his tracks. He reached for his gun, and made his way to where the sound of her voice was coming from.

The first thing he saw was Charlie next to a body. He felt how panic washed over him. When he got closer he could see she was crying, tears filling her eyes and rolling down her face. Miles, Panic started to fill his veins with cold fear filled scenarios He had never seen her like this. For one horrible moment he thought that they were too late, but then he realised that Miles'chest was moving. He was alive. It broke his heart to see him, laying on the damn ground, covered with blood and his face filled with sheer exhaustion. But his brother was alive.

Then he looked at her again.  The way she was holding Miles with a gentleness combined with strength did something to him he had not felt for her since he had met her.

'I've got you,' Her voice full of soft reassurance and determination. 'I've got you.'

He stood behind Charlie, keeping his distance before his eyes went back to his best friend. Right now his whole world consisted of only these two people. He still considered Miles as his best friend, although he knew Miles was living in a fucking place called denial on that one. He felt more emotions washing over him he had not felt in a long time.

Rachel was sitting on Miles'other side. When he wanted to move closer Rachel shot an intense look full of loathing towards him. He froze.

Charlie felt her tears stopping very slowly as she was calming down. Miles had taught her to stay calm and think her next step through. Slowly she realised Miles was here, with her. She had found him. He would be okay now, because he just had to. Her was mother sitting across from her. All of Charlie's focus was on Miles, but when, for a brief moment, she tried to make some contact with her mother, to find some connection to share in this moment, she glanced up to meet her eyes. But here eyes were not on her, they were not on Miles. they were full of loathing and aimed at Monroe.

Charlie almost rolled her eyes at Rachel, but then she felt how Miles was starting to move, his mind clouded, struggling to get up but he had not enough strength to do so. She gently held him down, one hand on his chest.

'Don't be stupid Miles, lay still and let us help you, for once,' Charlie's voice sounded firm but there was a smile in her eyes and around her lips when she said this. It made her heart lighter when she saw the slightest of reaction in his eyes.

Bass could only watch Charlie, watch her with the man that had been a constant in his life for so long. Her gentle hands stroking his face and hair. Her calming hand on his chest. A smile finding its way through her tears. It lit him up from inside.

Things went fast from that point. Monroe offered to rush back to camp and find help so they could move Miles and made sure Miles got back to their camp as fast as possible. Back to Gene, who immediately started to make he sure he would be okay. He tended to the wound on Miles'side, and helped him to find his strength back. As Gene worked on him, Charlie observed them as her eyes found Miles again. His dark hair, his tall body, tucked away under a lot of blankets. 

Rachel did not leave Miles'side in the small tent where they had set up a small improvised field hospital room. Charlie looked at her mother from a distance, sitting so close to Miles. A hint of darkness was creeping over her. Now Charlie knew about their shared night in Philly, she realised that someday, Miles would find out. Things would change, and she was not able to see now how much they would, but they would. It terrified her. 

Charlie turned around, feeling exhausted, tasting salt on her lips from crying over Miles, crying for Miles. Her head spinning was with emotions. When she left the small tent, she welcomed the breeze that came her to greet her outside. Her arms and legs were feeling so heavy like somebody was trying to pull her under. And that's when she noticed Monroe. He was standing not far away from the tent. He looked like hell.

Charlie could not help but see how tired he looked, his eyes distant, lines harsh in his face with worry. He almost looked lost. His eyes were glued on the tent. The feeling of being torn that kept her company so many times when it came to Monroe, was already finding his way into her mind and heart.

Then something washed over her, so strong that it took her by surprise. She understood him. She understood his exhaustion and that worry in his eyes, because that was exactly how she had felt. She understood the love he had for Miles, love that was still there after so many years. She understood more of it now.

She walked into his direction. She could see Monroe tensing up. She kept her distance, but closed the distance between them with her eyes when they found his. 'He's asleep. He has a wound but my grandfather says he can take care of it. He will be fine,' It was almost a whisper, the words soft.

Monroe was not able to hide his surprise. Charlie saw a hint of gratitude in his eyes. It gave her more warmth then she wanted to admit.

She started to walk again, and when she passed him, her shoulder brushed against his upper arm. When she felt his hand close to hers, her heart took over and before she truly realised what she was doing, she touched his hand, only for a moment. Her hand found his and her fingers entangled with his. The roughness of his fingers against her soft skin. Then she broke away from him, and walked further into the camp.

Bass watched Charlie walk away. He had been hovering around the tent where Rachel and Gene were taking care of Miles. Of course the bitch had not allowed him inside the tent and he to wait outside like some damn dog. He was craving to know if Miles was going to be all right, but walking in was just not an option. Rachel was already tearing him apart with her eyes.

He felt beyond tired, his body hurt like hell, he needed some food and sleep, but he needed to know if his brother was going to be all right even more. Blond hair and blue eyes were what shook him out of his own thoughts.

Charlie had left leaving the tent. He had noticed she was not crying anymore.She had looked like hell. Hurt and guilt had risen up to meet him. Charlie knew, knew about what happened with Rachel in Philly, another night, a long time ago. And he was sure he would be the ultimate bad guy in that scenario. So she knew, and she had to find out right after Neville had shoved a gun to her face. It filled him  with anger beyond everything when he thought about that moment. Charlie's eyes, Neville's gun. Neville had shoved a gun in her face and he had not been there to protect her, to make sure she was safe. Instead he had been  too busy fighting with Rachel. He had  felt tension when she was approaching him. He had expected fury and all hell about to break loose when she had surprised him, as she had done so many times. Bass had heard  her reassure him that Miles was going to be fine, her voice had sounded soft. Her eyes had made him feel calmer.

He had thought she would turn away from him at that point, already given him way more then she should have giving him at that point, when all of a sudden he was aware of her body close to his. Her shoulder brushed against his arm and then he realised with a shock to his system that her hand had found his. Her warm hand close to his skin, her fingers entangling around his.

The moment had been over before he could react. But even now he watched her as she walked deeper into their camp and had moved on, he could still feel her skin linger on his. Still feel her warmth. So close. 

**3 days later**

Charlie watched how her mother was spending all of her time with Miles, like nothing, absolutely nothing had happened. Every day her anger built up even more. The only thing that was stopping her from bursting out was Miles. _God, Mile_ s. What would this do to him when he would find out? Miles who told her that she and her mother were the reasons he was able to hold on in that hell hole until he fhad ound a way out, back to them. Back to life.

And she had been serious when she had told her mother once that she would not stop fighting, even if she knew it wasn't an honest fight, them against the patriots. They needed Monroe, she knew, she saw what happened when her uncle and Monroe combined they forces. Blowing up their team from the inside was the stupidest thing she could do right now. That was what reason told her.

She saw how her mother was smiling to him, how they were talking, together. How she would shoot deadly looks to Monroe when Miles did not watch her for a moment. It was like she was watching a bunch of teenagers, playing games like they were sixteen. It made her stomach flip with sheer anger and disgust.

Charlie found a quiet spot near the edge of the camp and was cleaning her weapons, when she saw how her mother was walking out the tent to get some more fresh water.

Charlie realised then, she was done waiting. She was tired of backing down. She had been rationalising her feelings, day after day now, but when she saw her mother something just opened up inside of her. She put down her knife as she got up, straitening her back. She walked towards her mother and stopped a couple of feet before her.

'So, you just keep on going like nothing happened? Leave Miles in the dark, laugh at him, spend time with him?'

Charlie's voice filled with sarcasm was already dangerously high. She was about to let go of everything that had almost brought her to her knees the past months when it came to the relationship with her mother. She noticed she had no fear of letting go everything that was anger and dissapointment inside of her anymore.

'Charlie, stop it. Please, listen to me..' Rachel was surprised that after days of silence, Charlie finally started to open up.

'No, I won't stop. You will listen to me.' Tears in her voice, she was almost screaming now. 'You will finally listen to me!'

'How could you do this to Miles, how could you do this to me? I have to listen to you, over and over, how much you hate Monroe, to listen how stupid and dense you think I was for bringing him back to Willoughby. I brought him back so he could help, help to fight those patriots, save lives before everything goes to hell. I brought him back because he made sure I was okay, he made sure I lived to see another day.'

Rachel's eyes went to a cooler place.

'I never get to talk about dad anymore, because that's too painful, for YOU.' She pointed at her mother. 'I am forgetting him, he is disappearing. I love him, but I am forgetting him.'

'I never get to talk about dad anymore, but i do have to hear how much you hate Monroe, how much you want to do the right thing. The right thing? I have to take all of this but you get to screw Monroe? So what? Dad, Miles, Monroe and now it is back to Miles?'

Charlie felt rage and nausea starting to set in when she was finally able to say it out loud. She never talked to her mother like this, it was the hardest thing she ever had to say to her, but she just could not stop anymore.

'Charlie, I was his prisoner for such a long time. Miles had left, it was one night, I had been there for so long, and...'

Charlie could see on her mother's face that it was not the truth, it was something her mother had to say to herself to deal with the pain and the guilt. She knew.

'I know he made mistakes Mom, many. But don't you dare say he forced you..don't you dare.'

Charlie's voice had dropped to a low tone, dead calm when she spoke those words, but her body had started to tremble. She could see on Rachel's face that she had been right about everything. Monroe had not forced her. For whatever reason, it happened. It did.

'I had to watch how you lost yourself in Danny s grieve, but I was there too. And I am still standing before you. I am still...' she had to stop for air, ' I am still here, before you, alive, mom. I am here.'

Charlie noticed from a distance that she had started to cry with her whole body. She felt it, but it was like she was not the one who was crying. Rachel looked at her daughter, horrified and in shock. She felt tears running down her face. She wanted to wrap her arms around her daughter, but she was afraid she was going to push her away even more.

'I am still here,' A whisper almost coming somewhere from deep within.

Rachel saw her daughter, as she really saw her for the first time in a very long time. She wanted to close the distance between them. but Charlie stepped back, away from her.

'You are still here...' Rachel said, to Charlie and to herself. Realisation washing over her. 'Oh god Charlie, I am so sorry, I am...'

They stood there in silence, mother and daughter, years and years between them, hurt, damage, pain. The betrayal, the fact that her mother accused Monroe for forcing himself on her. Miles. She was not ready for her apologies. All of a sudden it was hard to breathe, and she started to panic. She could not be here anymore.

'Just leave me alone, mom, please, let me go,' The anger was leaving her, the only thing she needed now was space.

Rachel felt empty, shocked, when she saw her daughter disappearing from her side. Part of her wanted to follow Charlie but part of her was not sure what to do. So, for the moment, she let Charlie go.

Charlie did not know where she was going to, but she needed space. She kept walking to the line of trees that were surrounding the camp. When she couldn't hear the sounds of the camp anymore, and felt the silence of the forest around her, she leaned forwards, her hands on her knees for support and she cried when trying to calm herself down at the same time.

It did not work. She felt how she was collapsing more and more, and how her body was betraying her, her chest close to her upper legs. Her right hand reached out for a tree, desperately seeking some support, not wanting to fall down.

Panic set in, panic because she was not able to walk away and hide from everything she felt, everything that had been there for months, for years. t was like emotions were running her, cornered her and left her with a feeling she was not able to fight back, how hard she might try. She felt like she was losing control, her body felt like it did not belong to her. Dizziness, numbness . Her knees were betraying her and she felt like she was going to pass out. She almost threw up.

Her surroundings felt like a dream. She felt like she was chocking and drowning at the same time. The more she tried to breath, the more she felt she couldn't. She wanted to stand up to force more air into her longs, but she just could not remember to move anymore. She could feel her fingers cramp into the bark of the tree.

She dit not even hear him approaching. Strong arms were wrapped around her from behind her. She felt how he slowly lifted her up, until her back found his way to his chest. Charlie felt some space to breathe again, now she was standing straight again.

One arm stayed around her arms, and the other found his way loosely around her waist to make sure she would not fall down. She couldn't do anything but sink into him. When she let go she could feel how his embrace got stronger. One thought found its way through the panic, the choking and drowning.

Bass. _He is here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, as always, for reading! The next chapter is on its way...I am working on thiat one, and on another chapter for Things change, so lot's of work.. lot's of writing :) But I am loving every minute of it :) As always, feel free to to share your thoughts about the story..love hearing from you! Love from Love


	6. Chapter 6

When he had followed Charlie into the forest surrounding their camp, he had told himself it was only to make sure she was okay. It had been another long day of Rachel's deadly looks, and Miles who kept him at a distance. Bass had tried to focus on Connor and on spending time with him. His mood was hitting rock bottom, his temper was on edge. He had been on his way to try and see Miles, hoping the bitch would not be around, guarding him like he was some fucking lost puppy. After their fight, full of accusations and loathing he had to stay away from her, because his blood was boiling every time he had to look at her hypocritical angelic face, when she was talking to Miles with that annoying smile plastered on her face.

When he had been  close to the tent where Miles was resting he had heard them. He had kept his distance. He had not been able to tell  exactly what they had been talking about but the intensity of Charlie's voice, directed at Rachel , had grabbed his attention quickly. He knew that look, she was beyond upset. He knew this because she had been standing in front of him so many times, her eyes filled with that same anger and challenge. Only this time those looks had not been for him. It had been the first time he had watched Charlie so enraged when she was talking to Rachel. 

He had watched Charlie walking away from Rachel, his eyes following her, as she had been disappearing into the darkness of the cover of the trees not far away. In all of the months Bass had spend with Charlie, he never saw how she lost herself like she had just now. For the first time he had been able to see beyond that wall she so carefully build around her. The obvious hurt on her face, her shoulders filled with tension, the usual swing in her hips missing. It gave him a cold jolt in his stomach.

Bass made his way through the forest around him as he was pulled in Charlie's direction. He just needed to know if she was alright. He knew without a single doubt he was the last person  she wanted to see and she _would_ give him hell, in a way only Charlie could. But as always, he could not walk away from her. Bass was not able to feel indifference when it came to her. 

It had started at the night she literally fell into the empty swimming pool, only feet away from him. He had never understood why he cared so much. He had told himself that she was Miles'niece, and he still would protect someone tied to his brother . For Miles, not for her, to silence any other options.

When that stupid son of a bitch bounty hunter had touched her, to take care of her wounds, he had not been able to look at her. He had to turn his eyes away. He should have cared less, hell, he shouldn't have cared at all. She was there to put a bullet in his head. But from that moment, and maybe even before that moment, he had been drawn to her.

He followed her tracks and could hear her cries and heavy breathing full of panic before he could see her. It cut through him like a knife. He carefully approached her and saw how she was almost collapsing, her hand against a tree for support, fighting for some control. Trying her hardest to push some air into her lungs. The Charlie he knew was always aware of her surroundings.  The fact that she had not heard him approaching, made his concern grow even more.

He knew he was going to pay for this later, but now, now everything that mattered to him was Charlie. He cursed something to himself under his breath for his own stupidity for doing this, when he took a step forward to her.

And then, without thinking it through any longer he slowly put his hands on her shoulders. And he waited. She did not respond, as she kept on crying, her body shaking under his hands. His arms found their way around her shoulders, around her body. He made sure his touch was lose, giving her every opportunity to push him away. He slowly guided her upper body towards him, her back finding its way to his chest. He felt how she almost collapsed, her knees giving up from under her as he moved one of his arms to and around her waist.

He waited again, his heart rate quickened. And then something happened Bass never saw coming. Instead of fighting him, instead of pushing him away she just let herself sink into his chest. He instinctively pulled her closer, his arms firmly around her, the weight of her body against his own.

Charlie felt something steady keeping her from collapsing.

Bass. _He is here._

It was the thought Charlie was holding on to, the only thing she could hold on to for now. Slowly she felt like she could breathe again, kicking herself up through heavy water, back to the surface. She still felt how nauseous and dizziness flooded her, when her legs felt like they completely forgot how to function.

'Breathe Charlie, just breathe,' She could hear his voice close to her left ear. His voice was low and had an calming effect on her. She heard her own name, her name coming from his lips, in a way he had never done before.

She came back to herself, her cries more silent. Her breathing calmed down. More and more she became aware of his arm around her waist, loosely without any pressure but still enough to support her. Then she felt his other arm resting around her upper arms. She felt his hard chest, her jacket making contact with his. She felt her neck relax as she let her head rest against his shoulder.

She did not know how much time was passing, but he just stood there, behind here, holding her. Like there was all the time in the world. Like nothing else mattered. It was just him and her. Someone saw her, only her. She felt like she mattered. Her vision was getting more clear again and she was able to notice the trees around her. Charlie heard the sounds of the forest and felt the feet under her boots.

_Bass was here._

And then she realised she was calling him Bass inside of her head. All of a sudden she was way too aware of her body against his. A jolt in her stomach broke the moment. She was being held by Monroe. He was holding her. Images, all the unwanted images of him with her mother flooded her again. Anger started to replace the strange feeling of being sheltered from the world out there.

She did not need his support. She did not want his support. She freed herself from his arms, and took one forceful step forward. Forward and away from him. She kept her back turned to him when she put even more distance between her body and his.

Bass felt the subtle shift within her before she even moved. She had never been so close to him. He had thought about what it would be like, there was no use denying this to himself, but the actual feeling of her slender and strong body against his, surpassed his every expectation. He could feel her soft long hair against the stubble of his beard. All he wanted to do was calm her down, get her out of her state of sheer panic. So he held her. Waited for her to calm down. He heard how her breathing slowed down, how she relaxed. How she leaned back even more into him when her head found his left shoulder.

But then he had felt her tense up again. He had felt how she pushed his arms away from her. The moment she stepped away was a moment of an  immediate void close to his chest. Charlie stood a couple of feet away from him, barely realising what just happened. And then thoughts and flashes from memories started to flood her.

_'Kid, you might be trying to run away from your mother, but you're sure are a hell of a lot like her,' Monroe's voice ringing in mind. She could see his body strapped to the wall of the swimming pool. His body language casual, but his words aimed to wound her back after everything she threw in his face._

Another memory, from another day.

_'I need you to take me back to your Miles..and your mom,' She could sharply see his face when he told her this, when he had showed her the flyers from the bounty hunters with his and her mother's name on them, to convince her to go back to Willoughby to warn and help her family, with him._

Images of the looks between her mother and him, when she thought Miles was not paying attention. When her mother thought she was not paying attention.

And finally, flashes of images of their night in Philly, which her brain created all on its own. It fuelled her anger, one memory at the time. She was beyond angry at herself. How could she be so stupid to miss this? She brought him back to Willoughby and back to her mother. Was she his ticket back to her? Where all those little moments between her and Monroe, all in her own head? A sharp feel of disappointment, of losing something found its way through the anger. A feeling she did not let herself feel for too long.

Charlie turned around, closed the distance to Monroe, her eyes firmly stabbing into his. 'You son of a bitch,' Charlie shouted.

Her hands were landing on his chest, pushing him away from her with everything she had in her.

Bass knew what was coming before she had even turned around. He saw her take a couple of steps  away from him until she had turned around. Her face and eyes filled with anger, and a hint of something he could not place yet. She rushed towards him, her palms beating down on his chest to push him away.

'So, this was the plan from the start? using me to fuck HER?' her voice sounded harsh.

She gave him another push, her hands crashing into his hard chest.

'What the hell?' Bass words were strong but full of surprise.

'Making sure I would take you back to Willoughby, to Miles, but also to her? Giving me hell about that one night with Connor in Vegas, feeling you had the right to talk to me about.. ..how did you call it? Sneaking of and banging your son, when you were the one that fucked her and tried to fuck her again when Miles was missing?' Charlie felt how pure rage was filling her words and heart. Charlie was not sure anymore if it was anger or hurt that fought to get out. The tone in her voice was mixed with those two strong emotions.

Bass felt sick to his stomach when he thought back about that conversation, when he thought about the way he approached her, the words he had used when he had confronted her about screwing his kid.

Bass let her rage, he let Charlie push him away over and over again. He had expected Charlie to give him hell because he was so fucking sure Rachel told Charlie her version  of that night, the version where he had forced her and crossed a line he had never crossed. There  was no doubt in his mind that Charlie would believe her, only adding to her hate and loathing for him that was already there. There was no doubt that he would end up as the ultimate monster in this scenario.

He could not hide his surprise when he heard her words. He noticed how with every punch landing on his chest, anger lost it a little bit more to hurt in her eyes. Realisation hit him hard when it started to dawn on him Charlie thought it had been about Rachel and him from the beginning and she was misinterpreting his every spoken word and action since they had gotten back from Vegas.

He tried to reach out for her, desperately wanting her to understand that she had it all wrong. That she was wrong about this, so very fucking wrong.

'Get your hands off me, Monroe,' Her eyes pierced into his when she took a step away from him, loathing in her tone when she spoke his name.

'Charlie, you are wrong,' He growled at her. ' Hell, you are so wrong. his tone became calmer, his voice still deep. 'It's not like that.'

Charlie stood before him, as she slowly realized what he was saying. It was the deep look in his eyes that made her take a moment to consider his words.

'Well, then you better start telling me what the hell it is about, Monroe,' her tone was still sharp but Bass felt relieve she was at least hearing him out.

A part of her really wanted to hear what he had to say, but the bigger part of her wanted him to start talking again so she could lash out again. It was the all too familiar conflict within her that, time after time, shoved her mind into confusion when Monroe was close to her. So they stood there, face to face, as emotions were running through their shared look under the cover of the leaves of the trees high above them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always for reading! Love from Love


	7. Chapter 7

Bass watched how Charlie's eyes were filled with challenge and anger. Her slender hands were resting on the curve of her hips, her boots were firmly placed on the ground. She had crossed her arms before her chest and kept her distance from him. So here they were, about to talk about a night he desperately wanted to forget. A night he really did not wanted to discuss with her. He swallowed heavily as he felt the weight of the past and things he wished he could change within that past rest on his shoulders.

Charlie saw his hesitation. All of a sudden she wanted to get away from him, unsure if she wanted to hear this. She realised that there was so much history. A past where he, Miles and her mother had lived their lives in Philly. And she was so tired of turning yet another corner and having to find out what would be waiting for her there.

But there was also another feeling, buried beneath her anger and unwillingness to discover more about the truth from that past. It was the same sensation that had been there once before, back in Vegas, when she had seen Monroe with Duncan. A dark swirl in her stomach. 

'You know what, never mind Monroe', she started to put more distance between them, her voice agitated. 'Save it.'

Charlie walked passed him, noticing how he was avoiding her, his eyes fixed on a point in the distance. His fingers placed nervously around the hilt of his knife. _Still a coward_ she thought, bitterly. This week was turning into one giant screaming mess.

'It was one night.' Charlie stopped walking when she heard his voice. Her back was turned towards him as a protecting shield between her and what was coming next.

Bass' back was turned her way, but he knew she had stopped. They stood there, back to back, distance between them. It was the only way for both of them to deal with whatever this was.

'She had too much to drink, I had way too much to drink,' His voice was almost too low to hear.

Charlie's stomach started to swirl. She closed her eyes. Part of her wanted to fade out, but the fighter part within herself reminded her to stand her ground. She was not a person who walked away from something hard. So she stayed. She listened. Because part of her needed to know.

'Miles was gone, he had just left Philly. He left me...' He paused, even from where she stood, Charlie could hear the tension running through his voice and she felt the tension running through him. 'She...We ended with a bottle and we talked about years so far behind us that it almost felt like another life. When the alcohol did its work, we reached a point where we both had our reasons to find something that wasn't even there to find that night. '

Bass was not sure if he wanted to tell Charlie more, he did not want to burden her with details that would hurt her even more. In fact, he hadn't been completely sure why it happened. There had been alcohol, there had been time, and hurt and a sense of betrayal of Miles leaving everything they had build in Philly behind. There had been memories from days long gone when things were far less complicated. There had been a giant void of damage and hurt that Miles left behind for them when he had alked away from them. He had tried to fill that void, with something and someone, knowing damn well it would not work.

Charlie listened to his words, fighting the images in her head, pushing them out. Her mouth felt an impossible amount of dry and her body felt numb in a slow agonizing way.

'The next morning there was nothing left other than regret and guilt,' His tone was bitter.

He stared at his boots,as he was fighting the frustration he felt over and over again when it came to Rachel. He was so fucking tired of always being the bad guy, tired of always having to hear her talk about what was right, never acknowledging herself that she made her fair share of mistakes. 

He finally turned around towards Charlie. He looked at her back, craving for her her to turn around so she could see this was the truth. He needed, craved for her to believe him.

'Charlie, there is nothing going on between her and me. Nothing.' The tone in his voice changed to something far more personal Charlie had ever heard from him. She kept on listening. 'What you heard was an explosion of frustration  that was in the air for a very long time now.'

More guilt was finding his way through, when he realised again that at that moment, Neville had found Charlie. And he had not been there.

She listened to his words and felt the truth in them. She even understood how things had happened they way the did on some level. After all, her choice to sleep with Connor might not have been about Connor at all.

' I did not force her. I didn't We both...' Bass' voice was filled with a desperate anger.

Charlie heard him struggle and had to turn around. Slowly she lifted her eyes to meet his, reading him and how desperately he needed her to understand this.

'I know,' Her voice sounded hoarse but then she swallowed and she found some of her strength back.' I know you didn't. Stop defending yourself.'

She could see he swallowed as well , the muscles in his neck were tense, as he was giving her a small nod and she was not able to not see the blue in his eyes light up.

'I still think you are an arrogant son of a bitch....,' a little smirk formed around her lips, ' ...and some other things, but you did not force her.'

Bass felt something shift within him. It was the way she believed him without any doubt. It was the little smirk that played around her lips. But most of all it was the fact that he recognised something in Charlie again, as he found something back within of her of the rhythm they had been able to find together. It gave him some hope that not all things had gone to hell between them.

'You were a lot of things when we met again, Charlie,' Charlie noticed a hint of a smirk around his eyes, then his voice sounded serious. 'but I never ever used you to get something started with your mom that was never there to begin with.'

They watched each other. Both wanting to ask more, wanting to say more. The sharpest of edges had disappeared as things at least were in the open now. A cloud of birds flew over them, accompanied with a deafening sound of their chirping. Then they heard the first shot. And then another one, followed by harsh screams.

Bass reached for his weapon, tucked away behind the waistband of his jeans. Charlie was repeating his movements, her weapon now firmly in her hand, their movements almost synchronic. They shared one look  before they started running back to camp. When they almost reached their camp  pure horror washed over Charlie when she tried to take in what was happening in front of her. There was chaos, people were running. And then she saw how their camp slowly got covered in a veil of deep yellow mist. Men in long coats with masks on were shooting the people that tried to outrun the yellow cloud, one determined aimed shot at the time. .

Bass felt how rage was taking over his body, as he stood next to Charlie. Those sons of bitches had released mustard gas. They were slaughtering their men. His first thought was Connor. _God, Conno_ r. Then he noticed how Charlie started to move forward to the last line of trees that were keeping them out of sight. He grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back into the cover of trees and close to his side. Right now the trained fighter in him took over. Surviving penetrated all his thoughts.  She tried to struggle and to get away but he never let  go of her arm.

'Charlie, listen to me, there is no time, we have to go!' He barked at her to make her listen. When he saw the wild struggle in her eyes he took her chin in the fingers of his free hand and titled her head so she would look at him.

'We can't leave them there...Miles, my mother, Connor, everyone, they are...' Charlie felt nauseous when all she could hear were the intense dead screams combined with harsh shots not far from them. Thinking about the possibility that one of those screams belonged to somebody of her family made her almost throw up. She could not leave them, she couldn't.

'I know,' Bass was pushing away his own fears as he watched how the cloud of mustard gas was coming their way, ' But right now we can't stay here, we have to find cover. Charlie, Miles will find a way out for them.' His voice was softer now, trying to get through to her, to give her something she could hold on to.

The look of sheer determination on her face, her willingness to walk right into danger and fight her way through for the people she loved, combined with the fear of more loss that was so clearly alive in her eyes was too much to take in now for him. Bass turned his head to the mustard gas that was dangerously close. They had to leave. Now. So he grabbed her and started running.

Charlie felt how he had started to move, and finally she gave in. With every minute of running they put between them and their camp, the devastating sounds faded. She felt how twigs from the trees around her hit her in the face, but it didn't matter. Her instincts told her to keep moving, to put one foot in front of the other, as she let Monroe take the lead. She had no idea how long they kept going, but when they reached an old shed, Monroe stopped.

Both of them were gasping for air, the same worry and horror was visible in their eyes. Their thoughts with the people they had just left behind. They both needed time to process what happened. Charlie saw the rage on Monroe's face. And when that faded, there was worry that made the lines in his face deeper. They both were not able to deal with any more loss at this point in their lives.

Bass felt exhausted, his mind going from sheer rage about the attack to worry. Connor. He had just found him, and now there was a possibility he had already lost him. He walked over to one of the walls from the shed and sat down against it. He first instinct was to fight, to kill. But when the mustard gas had started to spread, he knew that for now, the only option was to back down and make sure they stayed alive.

His back against the wall, one leg resting on the ground before him, the other leg pulled up. His head resting in his hand.

'What do we do?' Charlie's voice sounded unsure.

'Those bastards used fucking mustard gas,' He grunted. 'We have to stay put for now, until it is safe to go back there.'

Not knowing who was alive, almost tore her apart from within as she was not sure how she would make it through that time where she was not sure if any of them out there was still alive. She watched Monroe. She needed him. God, she hated to admit this, but right now, she needed him. She closed the distance between them and sat next down to him. The forest around them was silent. Too silent after all those screams and gunshots.Her leg was touching his, her arm against his. Her head close to his shoulder. She closed her eyes, she did not move. Not knowing what he would do.

Bass held his breath for a moment when she sat down next to him. He could feel her warmth. He felt her tensed body, he watched how she closed her eyes. He knew what she needed right now, because hell, that's what he needed right now too. He raised his right arm and wrapped it around her shoulder as he gave her space to find him. The moment he felt how she relaxed and leaned into him, he pulled her even closer. He felt her head against his chest. He moved his hand from her shoulder to her head. His hand stayed there, shielding her from whatever the hell was out there now, as he felt the softness of her hair against the rough skin of the palm of his hand.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All your feedback and appreciation for this story are making me smile, so thank you to all of you! Writing is something I enjoy very much, but hearing from you makes it even more fabulous...  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Revolution. This is fanfiction and a daydream about what could have happened too.

Charlie lost every sense of time. It felt like time stood still, like it was somehow captured between the trees around them. With her head resting against Bass' chest, she felt how he moved his hand from her shoulder to her head. He was slowly placing his hand over her hair. His arm felt like a protective shield between her and the gruesome possibilities that could be waiting out there for the both of them.

Images of the people she cared about so much, suffocated by the gas or slaughtered by patriots, their silent bodies scattered around the camp formed in her mind. She wanted to cry. She felt  powerless, defeated, filled with fear of more loss.The agony of not knowing if she had any family left, made it impossibile to move. But it seemed that there were no more tears to cry today.

Right now, she needed a lifeline. Someone to remind her she was not alone and that she was alive. And against all odds, she had found it with him. In an abstract way she realised that the leather jacket she touched with her cheek was Monroe's. The scent of leather and the new sensation of the scent of his skin so close to hers.

Charlie was so used to walk her road alone, to toughen up, to push her feelings to the side, to build a wall around her, that she completely forgot what it felt like to be held. In fact she wasn't sure if anybody had ever held her, like he was holding her right now. She felt how Monroe was tensing up, his breathing more aggressive and harsh. Without even thinking about why, she placed one of her hands on his chest. She felt the thight muscles under her hand, she felt how he was holding his breath for a couple of seconds before he started to relax just a little.

Bass did not dare to move. Charlie had found her way against his chest. Her thoughts no doubt in the same place as his were. Rage was building again when he thought about how those bastards might have shot his son. How he might have lost another child. He had tried to talk to Miles over and over again, not understanding why his brother did not have the balls to make the decisions that had to be made. That bitch always around talking about the fucking right thing. But he was done, so very fucking done with the talking and waiting. 

A dark rage washed over  him when he felt how she slowly placed one hand on his chest. It send a jolt through his system, as her warmth reached his skin, calming him down in a way that took him by surprise. So here she was, Charlotte. He had to fight the part within him that wanted to stroke her hair, to stroke her back. To yank her even closer. He didn't, because he was waiting for the moment when she would leave his side and push him away, realising it was him she was so close to.

He was sure it was only the possibility of even more impossible grieve waiting for her out there, the rawness of even more loss and downright fear, that made her reach out for him right the hell now. Simply because of the fact that he was the last one standing right now.

The light around them started to change, the forest around them became more dark. Charlie could not wait anymore, even a part of her  wanted to hide under his arm and touch. Charlie's muscles started to act up from sitting in the same position for too long, and she felt restless. Slowly, she untangled herself from Monroe and was on her feet within seconds.

It was time. How much she needed to stay here forever, tucked away from the world under the cover of the trees with him, she knew she couldn't. She could linger for  hours in that land between knowing and the bliss of keeping some hope alive. But her family was waiting for her, and no matter what, where and how, she would always return to them, she would never leave them behind. Even if...No, she was not willing to finish that thought.

When she started to move, Bass tensed up, as he gave her plenty of room to move away from his arm. Her head left his chest, the weight of her body moved away from his. With one fluent motion she got on her feet. Then he watched how Charlie turned his way again and reached out her hand for him. He let his hand slide into hers for one moment, while she helped him on her feet. When he stood before her, their chests were only inches away from his jacket touching hers, while their eyes closed the remaining distance.

'Thank you,' Her voice was calm and soft, without reaching some sentiment that wasn't Charlie. Her eyes were filled with grey clouds of pain ahead, but also filled with warm gratitude for just one rare moment, 'thank you.'

Charlie noticed how his eyes filled with the same deep look he once gave her in the empty hall of that school, when he had came back for her. The small nod she got from him was al she needed before she turned away from him, picking her weapons up from the spot on the ground where she had left them, as she prepared herself for whatever what was waiting for them out there.

* * *

The mustard gas was gone, the patriots were gone. Bass was right behind Charlie. His weapon in his hand. Charlie's hand was closely wrapped around her own. With every step they took through their former camp, anger rose up to meet him to mix with fear that was flowing inside of them with every single heartbeat.

Body's were on the ground, a sinister silence lingered in the air. The sound of death was around them. Charlie felt a swirl in her stomach when she recognised the first body as one of Duncan's mercenaries. None of them had survived. Carefully not to touch them with her boots, she took a step back. She felt Monroe's hand on her shoulder for a moment.

They moved on, their steps silent, their harts heavy with anticipation. Charlie's body spiked with adrenaline, every time she thought she recognised Miles' boots, her mother's hair, a posture that reminded her of Aaron or a dark jacket that was so much like Connor's _. Please do not be here, don't be here_. It was her mantra with every step she took, deeper into the camp. She noticed the darkness that fell over Monroe's face, his eyes were sharp, his lips pressed together in a tensed line. A familiar whistle broke the silence.

* * *

Four hours earlier

Miles was feeling better, and that was one hell of a good thing, because he could not take any more of this nurse crap from Gene, or another minute in this god damn bed. He listened to one of Rachel's protests, but he was done. He needed some solid feed under his ground. The sound of birds who were flying over their camp in massive numbers , caught his attention, as well as the attention of the others around him. When he got outside, joined by Aaron and Priscilla, things moved fast.

Aaron started to run first. Miles followed him with his eyes before something else caught his attention.  _What the hell?_ Then his eyes fell on the cloud of yellow gass, moving towards them quickly.   _Mustard gas. Crap, it was actual Mustard Gas_. People started to scream, and soon after that, first shots were fired.

'It's Mustard gas, run, now!' Miles shouted. He grabbed Rachel by her arm as he quickly turned his attention on the people around them. He saw Gene, not running far behind Rachel. Connor was running before them. And then he looked for Charlie. _Where the hell was she?_ He kept on running himself, desperately trying to  find her. Bass was nowhere to be seen either.

The last time Mils had seen him, he was offering him a bottle of booze, and the normal bickering between Rachel and Bass had begun not soon after. Although the last days their bickering and jabs at each other had turned into overdrive. He was tired of feeling that old sting of guilt and feeling trapped between the both of them.  He felt the ground tremble under his boots. He kept on running, urging everybody to find higher ground. _Where in the hell were Charlie and Bass?_

Shots were everywhere, the mustard gas was closing in on them. People were dropping like flies around them. His eyes fell on an empty truck. Maybe, maybe it was their way out. He ordered everybody to get inside, him being the last one to follow. He once again scanned his surroundings, as the feeling of absolute defeat was there, realising there was nothing he could do. Charlie, she was still out there. Bass. Dickhead or no dickhead, he felt worried out his damn mind. 

His only hope when he finally closed the hatch from the truck was that she had found a way out, maybe even with Bass. Bass would take care of her. He had seen enough of him with her the past few months to know that for sure. And hopefully, once more, his niece was too stubborn to die.

The impossible wait in the tank almost tore him apart from the inside. Rachel's face was filled with panic and horror. He put an arm around her to comfort her. Connor's eyes were distant, his jaws locked, remdining Miles so much of Bass. Gene had tears in his eyes, and Aaron stared in the distance. They all knew it was a possibility, but none of them wanted to speak those words out loud. They were not complete. Not now she was not here. Now now Bass wasn't either.

When the silence around them was almost maddening, and darkness had set in, they all got out of their hiding place, leaving the  truck behind as they walked to the cover of the trees. Miles sat Rachel down next to Gene as she was still in some state of in shock. Miles and Connor went back to their former camp, together. Starting an absolutely impossibly devastating task. They searched through the bodies in camp, but there was no sign of them. Some feeling of relieve washed over Miles.

Miles knew that if Charlie and Bass had found some kind of safety, they would find a way back to them. Miles and Connor stayed close to their camp, as the others started to walk to another safe house four miles ahead, a safe house they spotted some weeks before.

Miles saw the look on Connor's face. His thoughts were flowed to Emma, to his promise to look out for Connor. Miles thought of her, of Bass. Charlie. They found a spot that was overlooking the camp. An hour went by, and another. And finally, Miles saw some movement in camp. He let out a sigh and a curse. He would recognise those blond curls and the posture of his brother, not far behind her, everywhere. Connor sensed the change in Miles as his eyes followed Miles' eyes. 

Miles let out a low whistle, he had used so many times before with Bass. Not long after that he pulled Charlie close to his chest when his large arms locked around her slender shoulder. Then he pulled her away from him, putting enough distance between them to look at her.

'Almost thought we lost you morons,' He swallowed hard, as he looked away from her for a second. 'Let's not do that again, shall we?'  Charlie smirked at him as he could not keep his eyes away from her, repeating in his mind that she was alive, over and over again.

To his left he saw how Bass firmly grabbed one of Connor shoulders, pulling him close for just a small moment, pride in his eyes, relieve on both of their faces.

'Hey Bass,' Miles started with Charlie still in his arm, as Bass locked eyes with him. Miles nodded into Charlie's direction as his tone held honesty and gratitude.  ' thanks man.' 

* * *

Charlie felt  how Miles pulled her into a rare embrace. She put her hands around him, holding on tight for a moment. An overwhelming relieve moved through her whole system when she heard him say that everyone was okay. When Miles finally gave her some room to breathe she noticed the look on Monroe's face when he put an arm around Connor's shoulder. She could not help but feel how much she liked it when his face relaxed, and when his eyes softened. It was looking at a completely different man.

She was exhausted, but there was a new strength within her body that kept her on her feet when they walked back to the safe house. Charlie was almost smothered by her mother, making her feel uncomfortable after a while but for now, she let it happen. Even after everything that happened, this was her family, and for now gratefulness to be together was bigger than anything else. For only a short moment, there was family and gratitude.

Without hesitation she accepted the food and water Aaron gave her. Her grandfather insisted he gave her a quick check, even she kept insisting that she was fine. Monroe was somewhere in the back of the safe house, together with Miles, Connor and Scanlon. 

After she ate and got some rest, all the events of the day started to catch up with her. And what she needed now, was some time alone. Some fresh air and time for herself. Rachel reacted immediately when she got up from her place near the fire they made.

'Don't worry mom, I won't go far, just need some air.' With a reassuring nod she stretched her legs and walked away from their little group.

* * *

When Bass had heard the familiar whistle from Miles, and saw Connor standing beside his brother, he had felt tears of relieve sting in the back of his throat. His son was alive. And not only was his son alive, Miles had thanked him for taking care of Charlie. He had not thanked him in fucking forever.

Back in the safe house, he threw his stuff on the table before him. He put his hands on the table and leaned forward and took a breath filled with frustration for the talk he knew he needed to have with Miles right the hell now. He was done waiting, he was done losing men when they sat around and did nothing but arguing about right and wrong. Then he noticed her. Charlie was making her way to the door. And when she was almost out of the door, she looked his way, and the smallest of smiles around her lips reached him. He froze. Before he realised what had happened, she was already gone into the night air.

Then he noticed how Rachel was talking to Miles softly.How her eyes pierced his way, filled with hate. _Hypocritical bitch._ His voice was deep and low when he barked at his brother. 'Miles, we need to talk. 'Now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will work on another chapter for 'Things Change' and then I will return to to this story! Until then...Ciao! Love from Love


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer, I do not own Revolution. This is fanfiction, and a daydream about what could have happened too. I respectfully borrowed some lines from an episode. I did that to show you , at which point of season two we are and because I wanted to explore another possibility at this point in the season.

Charlie moved her gun to the familair place between the waistband of her jeans and the skin of her lower back, when she walked away from the safe house and into the darkness of the night without true aim. She could vaguely distinguish the voices of Miles and Monroe, coming from the safe behind her. There was no doubt in her mind that their discussion would be about what to do next. 

Before she had walked out, she had seen Monroe. Her thoughts instantly moved back to the rare and almost surreal moment they had shared not that long ago. His tall, muscle hard body. His hand resting on her hair, the scent of Monroe so close. That unexpected moment of that strong connection between them had woken up something inside of her. The small smile she gave him was there before she could think it through.

But then she had seen it. The harsh expression appearing on his face, a sting in her stomach when she saw the familiar contained rage in his eyes. And when she had walked through the door to spend some time on her own, his eyes had locked with hers in a way she could not forget. She kept on walking as she let the darkness and quietness of the forest suround her.

* * *

 'What are you thinking?' Miles looked directly at Bass.

'If this is how they want to play it, using mustard gas?'  Images from the slaughter and the all consuming fear of losing Connor to those sons of bitches, losing more family, _his only family,_  were filling him with more determined rage. 'Then we hit them back, and we hit them back hard. We are going to beat them at their own game.'

'You want to steal some of their mustard gas,' Miles replied. It wasn't a question.

'One tank of gas and we take out fifty patriots, maybe more if we stick it in the right place.' He looked at Miles but he felt how Rachel and Gene were listening from their place near the fire on the other side of the room.

'And what is the right place?'

'Where ever it hurts the most, even if that's in the middle of Willoughby,'  He looked with steel in his eyes towards Gene and Rachel. If the bitch would open her mouth now, he was not sure what he was going to do. 'And I am not going to hear it. Not from that bitch, not from that old man and certainly not from you.'I am done talking Miles,' More anger was building up in his voice. 

'Shut up for a second,' Miles tried to break some of the raging tension inside Bass. 

'No, I am done talking, done talking about right and wrong.'  _Fuck,_ was he the only one right now that understood that if they wanted to make it out of this hell  alive, they should retaliate, fast? He was going to strike back. Now. Here, today. Even if it meant he had to do it with just his kid an Scanlon. The thought of Charlie right by his side was not far. 'Because we are losing Miles, we lost twenty man today.' 

He looked at Miles, frustrated and thinking about what the fuck happened to the brother that fought with him,  side by side, time after time for all those years.  'Because the only thing that matters now, is stop the whining about right and wrong and do sometehing. Anything.  It is war, and the guy I knew understood that.' Just when Bass thought Miles would tell him to go to hell, Miles surprised the hell out of him. 

'All right, okay, I get it,' Miles locked eyes with him, 'I m in.'

* * *

Charlie had found a quiet place, not far from the safe house. She found a tree that fitted perfectly around the curves of her back,as she let her head lean against the bark of the tall tree. She closed her eyes for a moment. And then she opened them again, because her mind was being filled witch chaotic memories.  _Austin, Jason, Neville. Miles, the mustard gas, Monroe. All their days on the road. Vegas. Philly.Whatever the hell happened there with her mom and him._  Her mind stopped there. And instead of the anger she felt first  when she thought about what happened, this time it was hurt that came first. A hurt that she couldn't quite figure out, because why the hell did a part of her care who Monroe would fuck? 

And then her mind went back to the intense conversation she had with her mother. It was rough and hard and impossible but it brought many unsaid things into the open  for her. Charlie doubted if things would ever as they should be between a daughter and a mother between her and her mom. Things were still hard, but somehow, after Neville pulled that trigger and she had walked away from that alive, things were more clear than they had been in a very long time.

And then she realised it. She did not only wanted to live, something she experienced with such clarity a couple of days before. She wanted to live, but she also wanted to live her life. To listen to what she felt, to listen to what she thought mattered. Because at the end of the day that was exactly what everyone else around her did. She was not the same person anymore that left home to walk all the way to  Chicago, to get Miles. She let the calm feeling of this totally new way of looking at the world around her, _her world_ , wash over her.

Charlie listened to the forest. She knew she should go back. But the truth was that although she was grateful and relieved to find her mother alive, when the adrenaline from this day had left her body, reality had found her again. The reality of all the things that still had to be settled between her mother and her.

When she had made the desicion to return to their safe house, she heard Monroe before she saw him. His voice was deep. She walked in on what apparently seemed like another discussion between Miles and Monroe. But then she saw Connor's face. She watched her mother standing in the doorway of the safe house, looking at both men arguing. And it was the cold excitement on her mother's face that told her something was wrong. And then she saw Monroe's face, and she wasn't sure if it was rage or a bitter kind of hurt she noticed first.

Connor was keeping some distance from his father, and when she walked up he turned around to face her.

'What the hell is going on here?'  Her mind was working quickly to make some sense of what was happening before her eyes.

'That psycho blonde pulled another one of her stunts, together with your uncle,' There was a hint of menace in his tone. Tensed aggression was dripping from his voice, as Connor was nodding to her mother and Miles. 'They played us,' His jaw locked when he looked away from her.

Charlie's felt like someone had punched her right in the face.

'I'm afraid I am going to need a little more than that,' Charlie snapped back at him.

'Do you see that in there?'  Connor was pointing towards a canister inside the safe house. 'That's the mustard gasMiles, Scanlon and my dad and me stole  from the patriots.' His dark eyes filled with more irritation. 'Well, it's an empty tank of mustard gas now,' He added with a dark sarcasm. 'Because the moment we came back, Miles decided to switch teams to team hugs and rainbows. One moment he was talking about some whiskey outside with the guys, the other moment my dad, Scanlon and I found ourselves locked out as we had to watch how your psycho mom neutralised the gas. '

Charlie looked from Connor to Miles and her mother. Scanlon was keeping his mouth shut but he was standing close to Connor. She was still trying to understand everything Connor just told her. 

'Add I haven't even told you the best part...'  Connor started as he told her everything  about the little act her mother and Miles had performed, before they all had left to steal the gas. Charlie listened how both her mother and Miles had pretended they were done. How her mother had been talking about the fact that Bass had 'won'.

 'Jezus,'  Charlie muttered when dissapointment filled her heart. It was all she could think. She watched her mother watch Miles and Monroe, she saw Miles standing next to his former best friend. She knew the past years had filled themselves with endless moments of loss, betrayal and hurt for them. But Miles had shown his true colours when it came to Monroe. She had known, that night she had found her uncle in that bar in Willoughby when they had both thought they had lost Monroe. Whatever happened, after everything that was said and done, she knew the truth. They were still brothers.

At this point she trusted her uncle enough to know that he had his reasons to disagree with Monroe in this discussion. The look on Monroe's face when she had seen him before she had walked out of the safe house was dangerously close to  the General she had met in Philly.  Things had changed since they came back to Willoughby together, but she was realistic enough to understand that there was always a part in him with darkness, roughness and impulses of destruction and rage. But there had been more. She had seen Monroe, but she had seen Bass too.

The man who had sat next to her for a full day in Portsboro. Her system still filled with drugs and unable to defend herself, realising he had saved her life when she had woken up. He saved her from those horrible vultures in that bar. Vultures who almost took a part of her that was not theirs to take.

This was also the man who had come back for her, for a reason she had never completely figured out, on that afternoon in the school, when they had been looking for Aaron.

This was the man who was willing to sacrifice his own life in a cage fight in Vegas, so his son could live. 

This was Bass, who had giving her an unexpected lifeline, his arm around her, pulling her close, so she could make it through impossible hours filled with not knowing if she had any family left, only hours ago.

And after everything, this was the man she had saved from an lethal injection months ago. This was the man she put her ass on the line for in Vegas. This was the man she followed into combat. 

It was almost impossible, it tore her apart every day, but she couldn't change anymore that she had started to change how she saw Monroe. All of him. Monroe. Bass. When things went to hell, she would fight for him, she would fight with him. Because he would fight for her. How much she tried to deny this, what he had done for her, his actions told her heart this over and over again.

Charlie knew Monroe had made many horrible mistakes, mistakes that could never be undone, and he was responsible for so much horror. But this, playing Monroe?  And what? Her mother and Miles were doing little performances now, pretending to break up. How old where they? Fucking twelve?  Charlie watched the intense hurt frustration on Monroe's face, as he stood right before his brother and the palms of his hands were connecting in rage with Miles' chest.

'You said you wanted to win,' His voice was a deep growl.

'I do, and I will. We're the good guys, it's time we started acting it.' Miles stayed calm.

'Who are you?' Bass was slowly, circling Miles. 'God, Rachel is so far up your ass.' His eyes filled with dark loathing and disbelieve. 

'Oh no, this doesn't have anything to do with Rachel. This is about you and me.'

Charlie heard Miles saying this and when she was looking at her mother, a part of her was understanding where Monroe came from. It felt like every time a decision had to be made, her mother was there, talking about what was right, pushing Monroe and Miles further apart. She had felt Miles'doubt after he let the patriot brainwashed kid go, when Neville and Truman had attacked them. A part of her wasn't so sure anymore that this wasn't personal from her mother's side. Knowing about what happened between her and Monroe in Philly gave some of her mother's actions a complete new meaning. She knew Monroe was right to make this accusation and more than that, she understood.

'I told you, it is different now,' Bass voice got lower and calmer, desperately trying to reach his former best friend.

'You keep making the same mistakes, pushing the people away that care about you. And you're going to end up alone.' Miles paused for a moment, his eyes still on Bass. 'You know why? Because you haven't changed.'

Charlie felt a sting of pain at Miles' accusation.

'You are wrong,' Bass' eyes went to an even darker place, a place where he was not able to keep endless hurt out of them. He pushed Miles away once more, his hands crashing into Miles his chest to add extra force to his words. 'You are wrong.'

There was something building inside of Charlie. The whole situation woke something up inside of her. Unable to not see and feel the raw hurt on Monroe's face that was now so close to the surface Her mothers look, standing there in the doorway. There was a deep sense of finally being ready to say what she did not know she had wanted to say for so long. Until now.

'He is trying,' she had almost shouted those words, and took a deep breath to calm herself down, 'He can still be a son of a bitch, but he is trying.'

The look on Miles'face was one of absolute surprise when he was looking at his niece. She felt how everybody's attention turned her way now. She didn't care. 'Believe me, I am not a member of his fanclub,' her voice was strong, as she gave Monroe a quick look, 'and believe me, he knows.'

When the words were finally released , coming out from a place where she had shoved them away in a place  deep inside her, she could not stop anymore. She looked at Miles and her mother. 'Do the both of you have any idea what kind of hell Vegas was like?'

'Charlie..'  There was a strong warning inside Monroe's voice. She ignored it. She ignored him as she kept on talking. She pointed a finger at Connor. ' Do you have any idea what he was willing to do for Connor? 'Just because I never told him doesn't mean I don't have respect for what he was about to do for Connor in Vegas, when Gould came up with his disgusting idea of a dog fight. He was willing to give his life without any doubt. Give his life for his son..'

Miles looked absolutely stunned, her mother had that nervous twitch around her lips. Charlie took another breath to brace herself for what she _had_ to say next. 'And just because I have never thanked him for saving my life, because that's what he did...he made sure I did not end up gang raped and dead in some bar, that doesn't mean I am not grateful for getting me out of there.' Her voice was breaking now.She turned to Monroe to search for his eyes. If Miles had looked stunned, than Monroe looked absolutely in shock.

The silence around her was defeaning. Nobody even moved a muscle. She could not look at him any longer, she could not look at any one of them anymore, as she was turning her eyes towards the dark ground before her boots. Tears started to fill her eyes, when she finally let the memories of that horrible night in again. She felt the shame and fear and absolute abandonment from that moment all over again, right before her body had lost its fight to the drugs. The memory of those disgusting men cornering her, so very close. She pushed tears away, as she looked up at her mother and Miles again.

'Charlie.., Miles started to walk in her direction, shooting a questioning look at Bass, as there was a deep worry on his face.

'No,' her voice was firm, as she was finding her strength again. 'No Miles, not now. Seriously, how old are you guys?,' she was pointing a finger at her mother and then to Miles, 'We are doing fake break ups now? Seriously?'

'I get that you have your battles, I get that you had your reasons for wanting to stop him Miles, but not like this. You can tell me all you want, but I know that somewhere deep down there is still loyalty and some form of friendship between you and him. So, fight him, fight each other, tear the place apart. Go for it, but this. This...'

Her mother was stepping away from the doorway, and was now coming her way. 'Charlie, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you,' She paused, there was worry on her face as well before she continued, ' I know you think there is something human left in him, but believe me, he is just doing what he does, to get what he wants.' Rachel shot an icy look of loathing towards Monroe. ' He is still the same monstrous...'

Charlie felt her blood starting to boil at this point. Seriously, where they here again?  It was like the first days she had come back to Willoughby all over again,as she had tried to make her mother understand why she had brought Monroe back.Did her mother even listen to anything she had just said? She had to listen to this over and over again, but this time she knew her mother had a part in all this too. She knew her dirty secret, she knew that there was so much more richness  behind those words and loathing looks for Monroe.

Charlie felt movement behind her. When she had turned towards Monroe, she realised he was avoiding her eyes. And then he started to move. Connor and Scanlon were not far behind him as they all grabbed their bags and weapons as there was nothing left but a loaded silence in the air.

 'Screw you Miles, and screw that bitch,' With his last words he pointed his fingers at Rachel. His voice was dark and rough.

 Charlie watched them, as she desperately wanted  to do something, to say something. She looked at a Monroe who was now walking away from her. With every step of his boots on the forest ground he painfully added more distance between her and him. Then she looked at Miles, her mother, her grandfather and Aaron who also appeared in the doorway. She literally was not able to move when she watched the three man disappearing into the line of threes. There was only one thought that repeated itself over and over again in her mind. He was gone. Bass was actually gone. He never once looked back.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I wanted to change that scene between Miles and Bass, to see what would happen if Charlie shared what she shared here in this chapter this with her mother and Miles. In next chapter there will be more from Bass' point of view. Thank you for all your reviews and kudo's, they mean so very much to me! Love from Love


	10. Chapter 10

Charlie did not know how long she had been starring into the dark, starring at the point where Bass and Connor just had disappeared into the line of trees. Part of her wasn’t surprised he left, after the treatment he just received. The other part felt a weird sense of hollowness.

 Miles and her mother were still standing close. It was her mother’s voice that finally pulled her out of her state of stare.

 ‘You never told me,  you never told me about that night, Charlie.’  Rachel tried to make contact with Charlie.     

 Charlie let out a sigh before she turned around, her head spinning with so many thoughts and emotions, that it was hard to figure out which one to address first.

 ‘No mom, I did tell you about that night,  I told you he saved my life. I told you the moment we came back to Willoughby.’    

 She crossed her arms before her chest , fighting the memories.

 ‘It was just too hard to talk about the rest,’    she added, her voice fading away while the images from those disgusting bastards who had tried to rape her took over. She had to close her eyes.    

 Rachel wasn’t sure what to do, she saw her daughter in pain, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted her close.

Charlie felt a hand on her shoulder, strong and warm, grounding her back in the here and now. When she opened her eyes again, Miles was looking at her. She knew what he tried to say, and she nodded in his direction with gratitude. 

‘Miles, I know so much crap has happened, I know. It’s literally decades of past  between the two of you. The only thing I wanted to say that I have seen a different part of him, he got me out of a lot of trouble. And if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be standing here.’

 There was still anger in her words, but most of all, she wanted Miles to understand where she came from.

 'Charlie, I’ve known Bass for a long time, and apparently he came through for you, and believe me, I am happy he did. But what he wanted to do tonight...’  

 I know and I understand why you wanted to stop him.  But was this really the way?’  There was a  sharpness in her voice.

 Miles  let his hands go through his scruff,  his other hand resting on his sword. His eyes went from his niece to the ground before his feet. Charlie took one step towards her uncle, her hand on his left fore arm.Choosing her next words very carefully.

 ‘I gave you a chance Miles, it feels like such a long time ago already, but if you think about it, it’s not. Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was standing next to the Butcher of Baltimore, standing next to General Matheson?  I know what you did. But I also know who you are now. You are my family,  and I would fight to hell and back with you. And that’s because I gave you a chance. You are my family, but a long time ago, Monroe was part of our family too.’    

 Her voice had gotten softer, not losing any of her determination.  

‘And he is still your family, you can give me all the crap you want, but I know, I know he is.’

 Finally she saw something in her uncle’s eyes that told her he was understanding her. She could see her words made an impact.

 ‘Miles, you did the right thing, he had to be stopped. He’s gone now. You are not him, you are not Monroe. He's poison, he is not your family anymore.’

 Charlie felt nothing but loathing for  the tone her mother just used when she had talked to Miles. You screwed him, but here you are, talking about him like he is monster and you are some angel. Like it's all so black and white. Talking about the right thing, when you shared a bed with him. The same man you accuse of so very much. That is how much of a monster you thought he really was. Charlie almost said those words out loud. She had to dig her fingernails into the palm of her hands to stop herself.  She couldn’t. This would tear Miles apart, this would tear their group apart. And if her mother went for the Monroe forced me angle, she was absolutely sure Miles would believe her.

 So she did the only thing she could think off for the moment. She grabbed her bag and crossbow and walked back towards Miles and her mother.

 ‘Kid, are you sure..’    She didn’t let him finish.

 ‘Believe me Miles, it’s better for anyone if I go hunting right now,’  shouting over her shoulder when she put the much needed distance between her and them.  She didn’t wait for his answer. 

* * *

 Bass stared into the flames of the fire before him, his elbows resting on his knees.  He watched his kid being fast asleep. Scanlon was sitting in front of him, taking sips from the small amount whiskey they had left. 

Silent rage still keeping him company. Miles had conned him, like he was what?  Like all the years behind them didn’t matter. Like everything he did for him, didn’t mean one fucking thing. He had walked down half the map not too long ago, to help him, to help them. Listening to all the endless bitching and moaning.

He had to watch their pathetic little act, going for the whole break up bullshit.  The bitch never leaving his side like she was mother Theresa, nagging on and on about doing the right thing. Talking about what a monster he was, basicly blaming him for forcing her that night in Philly, when she damn well knew, they both needed it that night, it happened for all the wrong reasons at that time, but it happened, and not because he had forced her.

And using that little Truman bitch for what? An underground? They were losing and they had to make a stand, now. He was not going to sit around on his ass, doing nothing, when everything around them went to hell. He had no fucking idea anymore who the hell Miles was and why he wasn’t ready to fight, like they always did. All of a sudden it was all kittens and puppies with his brother.

And then his mind went back to Charlotte, of all the Matheson’s, it was her who had stood up for him, again. What the hell was going on with her? He honestly was not able to read her anymore. After she saved his life from the lethal injection things reached some point where they could actually fight together, be around each other.  That was, until she had slept with his son. Things went downhill from there, creating a new kind of distance between them. He had never thought  she would go near a Monroe, and when she had, she chose his kid. It had stung more than he ever expected, hell, he was surprised it stung at all. He never thought of her the same after finding her, half naked, in that field with his kid. He of course noticed her before, hell he was a man, not a saint, but after that day she wasn't just Miles niece anymore. Something had changed. All of a sudden he thought about her in ways he shouldn't. Lingered a little bit to long around her lips, the lines of her body, the skin right above her jeans when it was exposed. And because of those tanktops, that happened a lot. Hell, what was going on in that head of hers? Pulling him close untill she decided he had to be kicked out again on some way. And more importantly, why the hell did he give a fuck?

He could still hear her words, words about respect and gratitude, he could still see her face when she had talked about Vegas. He knew Charlie had to twist Duncan’s arm to help her, but he never quite realised what kind of impact that day had on her.

He had watched her, standing in front of Miles and Rachel, full of fire, so determined. Her eyes filled with something he had never seen before when her eyes had found his for just a moment.  It was like the first moment in Philly he met her all over again, he just couldn’t take her eyes of her.

 When the fire left her eyes and made way for something else when she had started to talk about that night Portsboro, it was like taking a punch in his stomach.  The memory of those bastards who were about to put their filthy hands on her, on Charlotte, clearly filling his mind.

Bass had never seen her like this, never seen her vulnerable side like this.  Charlie was always a mix of stubbornness, fierceness and challenge. When he saw her brake, it was almost too much to take. It was almost unbearable to listen to her, standing up for him. He couldn’t remember when somebody did this for him, with such intensity. It was too fucking much.

He stood there, frozen to the ground. That was, until Rachel opened her mouth, and utter rage and the impulse pushed him to get the hell away from them. If he had to listen to her one more time, calling him a monster, he would kill her.  He felt Charlie’s eyes following him, but there was no more room for her in that moment of rage.  

The smallest of sounds  tore him out his thought, his weapon ready to go in his hand within a second. He looked at Scanlon and nodded at him, telling him to stay put, he would handle this.

He started to move between the trees, his mind ready for action.  It was dark, but he recognised the outlines of her body immediately.

‘Damn it, Charlie, what the hell are you doing here?’   he growled.

Charlie heard his growl but knew him well enough by now to know that there was no true threat in his voice. She held her hands out in surrender. He tucked the gun in his waistband.

 When she had walked away from her mother and Miles, she hadn’t planned on tracking him down. But there was something that pulled her in his direction, something that made her start looking and following  his tracks until she had seen a small fire ahead. She could see Scanlon’s back, Connor asleep. And she could see him. Bass.  She stepped on a brench on purpose,  knowing the sound of the wood under her feet would catch his attention.

And now he was standing in front of her, looking impossibly tall, the blue of his eyes piercing into hers.  God, this was hard. Stubbornness and doubt fighting the words she truly wanted to say to him. For a moment she cursed at herself for the impulse that brought her here.

‘You are here to say goodbye to my son or thank me for willing to give up my life in Vegas so you didn’t have to lose your fuck buddy?’   

Bass regretted the words the moment they came of out of his mouth.

Fuck.

He did not know exactly why he chose those words, but the completely ridiculous idea that she had come for him, made him want to push her away.

He could see the look of being absolutely stunned in her eyes, right before coldness started seeping through the normally so clear blue of her eyes.  

‘You son of a bitch,’    Charlie felt how her throat was closing up with anger.   ‘You don’t get to talk to me like that, not after you screwed my mom.’

 She wanted  to walk away, turn around and forget that he existed as soon as possible. But she didn’t. Instead she took one step closer, and then another one.  She didn’t stop until she was just as close to him like she had been the moment they had met again in Vegas, and she basically told him to go to hell for suggesting going back with her to Willoughby to help her family.

He could be an asshole all he wanted,  but she was a Matheson and she was not going down without a fight.

‘I didn’t do that for Connor you stupid son of a bitch, I did it for you,’    She was shouting at him now, her body shaking when she was finally able to honest with herself and with him.  ‘And it is none of your damn business, but it happened once, one time,’

She had not wanted to share this with him, she didn’t even understood why it was so important for her that he knew this. She turned his face away from him.

‘I came here for you, you arrogant bastard.  I came to thank you.’ Charlie was still firing the words at his direction, her face close to his. 'I came to thank you for getting me out of that bar.' Her tone lost it's anger punch, like all energy was slowy draining from her.

 It was like somebody put a heavy stone on her chest all of a sudden.

With every beat of her heart, another piece of memory from that night flashed through her mind.

Those men around her, circling her like vultures.

Another beat.

The lock on the door, no way out. The panic that followed deep within.

Another beat.

 The dizziness that flooded her body, raw disgusting hands on her skin.

Another beat.

The darkness that was creeping over her, the feeling of complete and utter abandonment and loneliness. Knowing she would never see her family again. Knowing it would end here, this filthy bar the last thing she would ever see.

Another beat.

Doors flying open, his sword working its way through all of them, saving her. The intense look on his face, right before she had to give in to the darkness.

Tears were filling her eyes,blurring her vision. She closed her eyes, tried to breathe.

‘If you wouldn't have been there, they...’       She could not say the words out loud.

She felt strong and warm hands cupping her face.  She froze. Bass.

Bass had watched her face when it had started to fill with pain, her mind in a place far away. He knew where she was at that moment, because he was back there too. And when she closed her eyes, after tears were clouding the deep blue of her eyes, he closed the last remaining distance between them  with his hands. Her warm tears flowing over his hands. Charlotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for following this story. Your reviews and your thoughts about this story are always welcome! I will work on ‘Things Change’ and ‘It takes two’ this week as well, so you can expect new updates there as well. Until the next chapter and a good day for you all,Ciao!


	11. Chapter 11

Mentioning what Bass did for her that night, mentioning it in front of her family had felt like ripping open an old wound.

With her eyes closed, Charlie was pulled back into the bar in Portsboro. The memories had come back to her with such strength lately. The practical side in her had moved on, she had not allowed herself to feel, not wanting to remember. She had moved on, months and months between her and that one night, but apparently those memories had been closer to the surface then she had thought.

When the wave of panic and disgust started to die down, the feeling of his touch became more clear. She felt his hands cupping her cheeks, she felt the tears that were flowing freely. She leaned into his touch. She felt how Bass moved his hands, one hand finding its way to the back of her head, his other hand loosely resting on her shoulder blades.

It was the first time she had not stopped the wave, and at the moment she was sure the wave would hit her with enough strength to crush her, it had evaporated. Charlie let her forehead rest against his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his shirt.

'I came here for you,' it was almost a whisper, when Charlie spoke again.

She took one step back, and used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe away the last tears from her cheeks. Bass was standing before her, looking at the ground, his left boot shoving away some dirt.

'I meant every word I said earlier back there,' this time Charlie found more strength in her voice. He was still not looking at her, but she knew he was listening. 'Whatever will happen from here on, I meant those words.'

Finally Bass looked at her, his eyes deep. It was one of those rare moments, she almost didn't recognize the man in front of her. It was the kind of look that made her want to take one step closer to him instead of putting distance between them, distance with the all too familiar loathing and hatred.

'Why?' His voice hoarse.

She looked at him with question in her eyes.

'Why did you break Connor and me out in Vegas?' There was a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Charlie took a deep breath.

'I could have, I could have walked away,' Charlie's voice was clear, 'I knew that would mean that you would be dead in less than 24 hours.' She looked away from him for one moment before she continued.

'I have wanted you dead for so long. You are still an impossible son of a bitch. But here's the thing, leaving you behind to die in that hell hole, killed by your own son, just wasn't an option. Not everything after you have done for me.'

She watched Monroe fiddling with the hilt of his sword, the lines of his face relaxing slowly. There was silence between them.

He then reached a hand out for her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, brushing his thumb along her cheek.

'Monroe!'

Charlie recognised Scanlon's voice, coming from a point behind Bass. Bass turned his head to the sound and then back to her, when he took one step back. Charlie was aware of the swift shift in energy between them.

'You have to go, Charlie,' he grunted.

Charlie knew he was right. But she didn't want to go because she knew the moment she would walk away they would both cross a line. A line that meant they stopped being on the same side. She could already see the change in his eyes, the change in his posture, when she forced herself to start walking, away from him, their eyes still locked for one last moment. It took every single bit of her will power to tear herself away from his gaze, and turn around.

When she had felt his touch, his fingers tangled in her hair she had felt a need for something else deep within her. She forced herself to keep up her pace, concentrating on planting her boots firmly on the ground to her to keep her going.

It was an impossible kind of need, that made her head spin. Slowly the realisation set in that her anger for Monroe, for that one night in Philly, was more than anger for what it would do to Miles when he would find out, more than anger she felt for her mothers actions.

She had no other choice then to push that thought as far out of her system as she could. It didn't matter anymore. Today, everything had changed again. It was a bitter feeling that she could feel in the back of her throat.

When she reached their safe house she felt exhausted. A strange hollowness surrounding her. She walked head on into a conversation between Miles, her mother, her grandfather and Marion who had close connections to Truman and apparently had some history with her grandfather. He trusted her enough to fill her in about the mustard gas, and use her as a source of information.

Charlie leaned into an empty story counter, carefully avoiding her mothers and Miles eyes, listening to Marion talking about the lists she had found, implicating there would be more mustard gas coming Willoughby's way.

Their group felt smaller in a weird way, but Charlie did not give herself much time to contemplate about that feeling, trying to concentrate on new trouble ahead. 

* * *

 Bass watched Charlie walk away, her deep blue's piercing into his before she had turned around. He could steal feel the touch of her forehead against his chest. He could still here her words echoing in his mind.

He had always wondered why she had come back for him in Vegas, and he always thought it would be about Connor and her stubbornness to walk away from a fight. Hearing her talk about Vegas earlier that night, made him finally wanting to ask her that question.

Her answer, the deep calm in her tone. He didn't deserve her words, he didn't deserve her gratitude. Hell, not everything he had destroyed. When he had tucked the little lock of hair behind her ear, seeing something in her eyes that almost pulled him in too close, it had been Scanlon's voice that had pulled him back to reality.

He wondered how the fuck she had gotten under his skin. At first, in Philly he was fascinated by her complete lack of fear for him, meeting him head on. She could be infuriating, stubborn with deadly looks but god, she was Charlie.

He could hear Scanlon shouting his name again.

It didn't matter anymore, he told himself. All that mattered now was his son. All that mattered now was payback for everything those patriot sons of bitches had ever done, Randall Flynn using him, the patriots framing him for wiping out two complete cities. His city. Their city.

He reached their camp place, ready to grunt an all clear to Scanlon when he saw Connor, a knife shoved against his sons throat. Bass looked directly in the eyes of Tom Neville.

**3 days later**

 'We're going to steal a train.'

Charlie had raised an eyebrow when she listened to Miles, a hint of amusement going through her. She had heard some stupid things come out of her uncle's mouth, but his newest plan was one of the better ones. Sure Miles, why not?

It had been a bright morning, and they had gathered outside their safe house. Charlie had listened to her grandfather who was talking to Miles. Her mother and Marion listening in as well.

In the last few days they had been able to put their hands on more information that eventually lead them to a train, with one big and full tank of more mustard gas. The gas would probably go to Austin, the patriots would use it to gass the whole city, framing California who would then go to war with Texas. And when that was done, the only thing the patriots had to do was step in and take everything that was left behind.

Charlie did not need much time to understand how close things were to crumbling apart. Stealing the train, preventing the gas from reaching its final destination was their only play.

Her mother would stay behind, because as always when things were close to going to hell, they just got a little bit worse. Aaron and Priscilla had disappeared, and Rachel would be the one who would deal with that mess.

And now Charlie found herself on top a moving train, the steam of the train going over her head, laying on her stomach, close to Miles shooting the last patriot that stood between them and stealing the train.

Joe, a friend of Marion's was controlling the train. It was actually his daughter who had sneaked them into the train yard, her daily lunch supply trip to the patriots the perfect cover for them to sneak in, hidden in her wagon.

They were still accelerating, the last lsunight of the day finding its way through the leaves above her, shadows flying over her face.

It had been a long time ago since she felt this connection with Miles, just him and her, in another fight. When the last patriot dropped dead from the train, by one of Miles flawless shots, Charlie looked at Miles, and found herself looking at an not so familiar side. Miles was laughing, bright deep eyes.

'Pull the whistle Joe, we just stole a train,' Miles screamed to the front of the train.

And when the whistle sounded, the high sound in the air, Charlie couldn't help but joining Miles, howling in the air. For one moment she was able to forget everything what still lay outside there, waiting for them.

They didn't run into any problems, that was until Charlie felt the train slowing down. There were big wooden logs laying on the rails ahead, preventing them go any further. She followed Miles when he climbed outside the train. Both on edge, weapons near, ready for anything.

'Hey Miles,' Charlie felt how her heart missed a beat. She knew that voice, the deep low grunt in his voice. ' Drop 'em.'

Charlie slowly turned around. Bass gun aimed at Miles when he spoke those words, Connor's gun aimed at her. Seriously?

Bass' eyes were darker than normal. 'Sorry Miles, but we are stealing your train.'

And then she saw him. Tom Neville. The memory of his gun to her head closed her throat. Neville was here. The first hint of numbness came over her.  

* * *

 It was Neville, who had spoken about marching to Washington to kill every last patriot as the ultimate revenge for losing his wife and son, who had woken a part in him. When Bass realised Neville wasn't here to kill his son, but to form some kind of alliance, he felt the same hunger for revenge.

If Miles didn't want to do what was necessary, he would find a way himself. He still thought Neville was a son of a bitch, but right now, they wanted the same. Neville told him the patriots would transport more mustard gas, for a larger scale attack. He knew when and where the transport would go down, giving them the chance to take over the train and drive the mustard gas straight into Washington.

Bass knew Miles well enough that he would come to the same conclusions. So they would leave him that job, their only job was to steal the train back from him.

They dragged as much wood as they could get their hands on to the rails. When darkness fell they could hear the train approach. It wasn't before long he saw Miles climbing out of the train, Charlie not far ahead. Bass decided to put Connor on her, wanting to keep Neville away from her. He would take care of Miles.

He didn't want to waste any time, stepping out of the darkness, behind Miles. 'Drop the gun, Miles.'

Miles and Charlie dropped their weapons to the ground, Neville holding Gene and Joe at gunpoint a bit further ahead.

'So Bass, what exactly are you planning to do with all that mustard gas,'? Irritation in Miles his voice.

Charlie wasn't that surprised to see Bass here. She had already expecting him earlier.

'I'm going to drive it in the heart of D.C., burning the place to the ground.' His voice intense, low.

Charlie felt her stomach sink into her shoes. The tone in his voice, the dark intense look in his eyes told her enough. Did she make one hell of a mistake believing in a different part of him?

'And that's what we should be doing, you and me. I swear to god Miles, I honestly don't know what the hell happened to you.' Bass had stepped closer to Miles.

Charlie heard the change in Bass his voice, when he continued. She could almost hear a hint of pain and confusion under the darkness of his tone.

'I genuinely don't understand.' Bass eyes were still on Miles for a moment, before he turned around and walked to the train.

'Let's go boys,' Bass nodded at Neville and Connor.

Time slowed down to an almost sudden stop, when Charlie saw how Tom Neville turned his body towards her in a precise slow motion movement that brought shivers to her spine, stepping forward to her. His gun firmly aimed at her.

'Woo Tom, what are you doing?' Miles shouted at Neville, while he tried to step between Neville and Charlie, but he was too late.

Charlie could hear Miles' strong voice, the sound coming from somewhere far away. A intense paralysing fear shooting through her body that made it impossible to move, that made it almost impossible to breathe.

He had brought Neville here. Bass brought Neville here.

The numbness was spreading to her body.

'She murdered my boy Miles, she murdered Jason.' Tom 's face was filled with the absolute resolution of doing just one thing.

'She didn't kill him, Tom. You know that, the patriots did.' Miles desperately tried to get through to Tom.

'Tom? Get on the train now,' Bass growled.

Bass looked at Charlie, for a moment. Her face white as a sheet, hands dangling next to her body, defeat, fear and despair on her face.

Neville didn't move.

'Get on the train or I will drop you right now.' He closed the distance between him and Neville within seconds, reaching for his weapon, aiming it at Tom's head. Rage was taking over, the muscles in his neck clearly visible with complete tension, A deep cold fist clenched around his throat.

What the fuck did he do?

There was another gun glued to Charlie's head, and he was standing next to the man holding the gun yet again. Only this time it wasn't Strausser, but Neville. And he knew the son of a bitch well enough to know Neville wouldn't stop at anything.

When he saw Neville's finger move, ready to pull the trigger he stepped in, lashed out and hit his gun out of his hand. Miles was with him in seconds, knocking Tom out with a fast and hard hit on his head. The gun went off, a bullet flying straight into the tank with mustard gas. Bass locked eyes with Miles for a moment, who's eyes went to Charlie for one quick moment and then to the tank of gas.

He knew the deadly gas should be his priority, but the only thing he cared for right now, was her. He looked up slowly, dreading to meet her eyes. She stood there, absolutely frozen to the ground, her eyes filled with numbness, her breathing shallow and fast. There was the smallest hint of a nod in her eyes. For him. He didn't let go of her eyes. Bass didn't let go of her.  


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for your reviews and for following this story, it means so much to me to know you are enjoying this story. Thank you for all your support!

  _She was looking for that one black leather jacket. For that scruff. For tanned skin. For blue eyes and that smug smile of his that drove her crazy. She shook her head, brining her attention back to the conversation with Aaron. And then she felt his eyes on her, even before she saw him._

_He was leaning with his back against the dark wood of the bar, a drink in his hand. She felt the hair on the back of her neck react. The bar around her slowed down, blurring out. Voices far away. Blue staring into blue._

_**5 months earlier**_

Charlie felt restless. After months on the road she was home _. Whatever that may mean_. She looked out of the window from her bedroom, the same bedroom she had slept in when she had come back to Willoughby, many months ago, with Monroe.

_Bass._

It was the moment right before sunrise, the air still cool, the colours of the sky slowly changing. Her grandfather was waiting downstairs. They would leave right after breakfast. She could see him through the window, walking towards the stables, getting their horses ready.

When Charlie had heard her grandfather was going to visit neighbouring towns in the wide area to help out where ever he could with the aftermath from the patriots, she had offered her help quickly.

Gene had raised an eyebrow at her quick offer of help, but he didn't ask any questions. He knew his granddaughter well enough to know that there was something else going on. He could use the help, but more importantly, he was looking forward to spending time with her.

Like so many nights before, she had spent last night tossing and turning. Her dreams and thoughts in the long hours being awake  _in between_  dreams , full of the events from the past months.

_Locking eyes with Bass after he made sure Neville did not shoot her, the night when they stole the train. Realising he had saved her life, but after he brought Neville. Neville of all people. But the way he had wanted to find her eyes. She could not forget that look._

_Jason bleeding out, because of the shot she fired. Miles dragging her through Austin when she was numb. Neville's gun at her head. Almost dying. Walking in on her mother and Monroe and their fighting match. Almost losing Miles._

_Philly._

_Connor. Charlie had no idea what exactly happened, but only looking at Monroe told her enough. The guy was gone for now. She had felt a shift within Connor, the moment they came back from Austin, but she never thought he was capable of this._

_Saving hundreds from the mustard gas that turned out to be ready for use in Willoughby. The patriots were ready to use it, murdering more innocent people. Working alongside Bass again, there was something familiar, but things were simply not the same._

_Kidnapping the President. Miles plan worked, showing Texas it was time to go to war._

_Dealing with her mother day after day, in this town that seemed too small for them both, yet again._

_Looking at Miles, and feeling more and more torn, because she knew what happened in Philly. He still didn't. Afraid what would happen if he found out, what it would do to him. If he would leave. Leave her behind._

_Cold looks between her mother and Monroe. Watching her mother put as much distance between Miles and Bass, every chance she got._

_Not knowing if and how she ever would connect again with her. Not knowing if she still wanted to._

Charlie felt drained from reacting to everybody else their lives. Stuck in the middle, stuck in her own thoughts, stuck in this town. Dealing with emotions she just did not know how to deal with anymore.

She had been avoiding Bass, not knowing anymore what she felt. Knowing damn well that she felt something, but she did not know if everything that happened around them, their pasts, made those feelings impossible. Charlie missed him, she did not know why, but she missed a part of him. Missed being on the road together, fighting together.

So it was a lot of knowing, a lot more of not knowing. Feelings raw, intense, confusing her. Leaving her without room to breathe.

She had said goodbye to her mother last night, the goodbye was short and uncomfortable. Charlie didn't know what to say to her anymore. Her goodbye to Miles was the hardest part. Looking him in the eyes became harder with every week. She did not like there was something she knew, he didn't. She hugged him, squeezed his hand and had left the room to pack her things for the next day.

She grabbed her jacket and bag, closed the door of the room behind her. If there was no room to breathe here, she needed to find that room herself.

  _ **4 months later**_  

Charlie was cleaning up the softly illuminated room. The last patient for the day had left. She felt worn out, exhausted, but it was a feeling she welcomed. It meant falling asleep fast, not thinking about anything else. They were on the road now for a couple of months. The war against the patriots was going their way, driving them out of Texas, freeing more and more villages as time progressed. She made long days, side by side with her grandfather.

She shook her head looking at the mess in the small practice, and quickly organised the desk for another day ahead. Her eyes fell on the little calendar against the wall. September. Her eyes got pulled to on date in particular. September 16th.

Her shoulders hurt and she needed some air. The air outside was crisp, the days growing shorter. There was a nip in the air when she walked outside, the small town they were visiting this week slowing down for the night. Charlie crossed her arms before her chest. The days of hard work had done her some good. She felt needed, and although she knew this was not forever, not her life to live from here on, for a first time in a long time she felt there was room to be, room to think, and more importantly to feel. It was like the feeling when a room stopped spinning around her, and she was finally able to see things more clearly.

September 16th. Miles birthday. And for the first time, the feeling of hurt and confusion wasn't the first thing that filled her mind when her mind wandered back to Willoughby, to the people she left behind. There was a hint of longing. Longing to go back.

She felt her grandfathers hand on her shoulder.

'Are you okay, sweetheart?'

'Yeah, I think I am.' Charlie turned towards him.

Gene watched his granddaughter, she had changed the past weeks. Her face was less tensed, her step lighter. Her eyes got their determination back.

'I'm afraid you'll need to visit the next town without me. There is somewhere I need to be.' There was a smile in her voice.

  **One week later**

Sunset was not very far away anymore and Charlie found herself on a well known road. It was the road to Willoughby, it was the road she had taken so many times before.

The time they got back from the tower.

The time she had come back with Bass.

This time, it was only the road and her. This time was different from the other times. This time she felt she chose this road, the decision had been all hers.

She walked through the town gate, still open. She had to swallow away a small lump in her throat, looking at the streets and houses, like she never left. When she reached her grandfather's house, she found the house empty.

She quickly threw her bag and other stuff on the couch, she freshened up, changed into a clean pair of pants and chose one of her favourite tops. She then changed her mind, and chose a simple black sleeveless dress, that followed the curves of her body naturally.

She used a comb to go through her long blonde hair, throwing it back over her slender shoulders. As a finishing touch she chose a necklace, a small deep purple stone in the shape of a little raindrop on a silver chain.

With a smile she realised there was only one place Miles could be on his birthday.

She looked through the window of the small town bar. It was almost dark and the light from the candles and the fire in the fireplace within the bar, casted a soft glow outside. The buzzing of voices and typical bar noises reaching her from the inside .

She took one deep breath before she walked in. A smile forming around her lips when she saw Priscilla laughing at Aaron, when he made one of his jokes Charlie knew so well. Aaron placed a hand on Priscilla's belly and Charlie realised with a warm feeling of surprise that she was pregnant. It was crowded and warm in the bar, many familiar faces surrounding her.

And then she saw him. Miles back was turned towards her, but she would recognize him everywhere. She decided to have a little fun with this.

'Can I help you?' It come from behind the bar.

'Yeah, I'm looking for my Uncle?'

The memory of the first time she saw Miles in Chicago going through her mind.He had changed, she had changed. Everything had changed. She never told him, but she loved him. He became a part of her.

Charlie noticed how Miles put his drink down slowly in front of him while he straitened his back

'His name is Miles Matheson, I'm his niece Charlie.'

Miles turned around and Charlie looked directly in the warm, dark surprised eyes from her uncle. He pulled a hand through his air, looking at her, and away from her. The voices around her had died down.

'It is good to see you, kid,' His voice a little hoarse.

'Seriously Miles, after everything we have been through, it's still kid?'

She raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a warm mocking smile.

' Well, if I am still a kid, that makes you what? A freaking dinosaur?'

Laughs around her.

Miles looked at his niece, a genuine laugh on his face. He closed the distance between them in seconds, throwing his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Charlie eyes were filling with tears, which she stubbornly pushed away.

'Happy birthday Miles.' She mumbled into his neck.

'Wasn't sure you were going to make it Charlie.'

'Wouldn't want to miss your birthday for the world, Miles.'

Miles let go of her, and took one step back. 'Get some more bottles out, the next round is one me!' Approving cheers around them, filling the bar.

Charlie tilted her head back and bursted out into laughter. It was the first time in a very long time she laughed liked this, felt a lightness like this. Aaron walked her way, giving her a hug that almost took her breath away.

'Glad you are home Charlie,' he then turned to Priscilla, 'This is Priscilla by the way.'

Charlie looked at Aaron in confusion. 'Yeah, I know, Aaron. We've met before.'

'Well, believe me, you didn't. But that's another story for another day,' he sighed.

She looked from Aaron to Priscilla, shaking hands with her and pressing a kiss on Aaron's and then Priscilla's cheek. 'Congratulations, you guys.'

Charlie finished her third drink, making her cheeks glow. It was good to be surrounded by familiar faces, making stupid jokes and catching up. Her eyes were scanning the room, and without realising it at first, her eyes were searching for him.

She was searching for that one black leather jacket. For that scruff. For blue eyes and that smug smile of his that drove her crazy. She shook her head, brining her attention back to the conversation with Aaron. And then she felt him, even before she saw him.

He was leaning with his back against the dark wood of the bar, a drink in his hand. She felt the hair on the back of her neck react. The bar around her slowed down, blurring out. Voices far away. Blue staring into blue. Charlie could not stop the small smile that playfully appeared around her lips. An unexpected jolt in her stomach when he smiled back at her with his eyes, lifting the drink towards her and giving her a small nod.

'Earth to Charlie?' Aaron's voice breaking her out of the moment.

Aaron looked at Charlie, looking at Monroe. Great, many months ago he had to watch how Monroe stared at Charlie in concern when Milles went missing in action. And now he was pretty sure Charlie smiled, yes, actually smiled at her arch enemy. Fantastic.

Hours went by fast, the bar emptied and Miles pressed a rare kiss goodbye on the top of her head, leaving with her mother. Charlie had talked to her for a moment, the conversation feeling forced. Charlie made sure she stayed out of her way for the rest of the evening.

This night was about Miles, was about being back, and she wanted to hold on the light feeling that was in the air tonight.

Charlie decided she would follow later, needing some time for herself. Her mind went back to him, to his blue deep eyes. God, she forgot what it was to lock eyes with him, to be in the same room as him. It was too big a feeling to fight back. She did not talk to him all evening, and somehow he had disappeared.

She walked outside the bar. After only a couple of steps his voice stopped her in her tracks.

'Look who's back.' His tone low.

She turned his way. Charlie felt goose bumps on her skin when she took him in.

'Missed me so much huh?' A smirk grin around his lips.

Bass was leaning against the wall of the bar, his jacket open, another drink glued to his hand, one foot up, resting, against the wall.

'God, you can be a self centred full of yourself son of a bitch Monroe.' Eyes with fire piercing his way. She took a couple of steps closer, standing right in front of him, one hand on her hip.

'But yes, I missed you. Not much though,' She shrugged her shoulders at him, challenge filling her eyes.

She watched Bass put his drink on one of the tables standing outside. She watched how he took one step closer.

Charlie knew there was so much to say, questions to ask, answers to find, to fight their way through. But right now, it did not seem to matter. She let her eyes do the talking. She placed a hand on his jacket, his hard chest beneath it.

'Let's save the fighting and battling for tomorrow, you know, when you are sober and can use all your mental capacity. Just wanted to give you a fair chance,' a soft smile around her lips, lifting one of her eyebrows.

'Is that so?' a smirk around his lips, followed by the a raw need starting to build up in his eyes that Charlie felt within herself.

He leaned in, making it difficult to breath for a moment. First she felt his breath against the skin of her neck.

'That is some dress you are wearing tonight, Charlotte,' his voice a low whisper in her ear.

She was finally admit to herself that she wanted this. She wanted him. She wanted Bass against all odds, amongst all the impossibilities. She was not sure off a lot of things, but she felt no doubt when it came to him.

And even before she realised she was moving closer, even before she realised she had parted her lips, Bass moved his fingers softly over her cheek and to the back of her head. Charlie felt the hotness of his breath against her mouth, felt the pressure of his lips, his scruff against the sensitive skin around her mouth. The sensation drove her crazy.

She grabbed his jacket. Their kiss deep, passionate, causing her to almost drown in it. She vaguely registered that he picked her up and moved her to the little alley next to the bar. He pushed her against the brick wall, and she felt his movements change. There was hunger and want in his touch. She pressed her breasts against his chest.

In the darkness of the alley, in the coldness of the night around her but with his arms firmly around her, she gave in. She gave in to Bass. And giving in to him was like all the other things between them: it was fierce, it was intense passion and and going all in. 


	13. Chapter 13

Bass finished his drink and put the empty glass back on the wooden kitchen table before him. He grabbed his leather jacket from the couch before he closed the door, using more force than necessary, of the little and dark apartment behind him.

A bottle of Miles favourite whiskey in his hands, he headed to the local bar. Tonight was his brothers birthday. He had shared a hell of a lot birthdays with Miles, but he wasn't particularly looking forward to this one, in this nobody town. He knew Rachel would be there, but he wasn't going to back down because of her. She was still guarding Miles like he was some kind of helpless puppy. Walking around like she was damn royalty.

The war against the patriot sons of bitches meant he had more time with Miles, the both of them working together with Blanchard and Texas. Being on the road with him, talking about strategies, leading men into battle together again brought them somewhat closer. It wasn't even close to what they shared many years ago, but every now and then, he could see some of their old bound.

It was something he had hoped to share with his son too. The moment he realised Connor,  _his kid, his blood,_  was actually willing to shoot him _,_ still hunting him in long sleepless nights filled with the all the others demons that kept him company for so long.

He had no idea where the hell his son was. He was out there on the road somewhere with Tom  _fucking_  Neville. Leaving his son behind only caused more hollowness in the darkness. He had experienced what it was like to have family, family on his own, only to lose it all again.

Blanchard had decided they would return to Willoughby for now, taking back the town from the Patriots and restoring some order after the chaos. And that meant that he had to spend a hell of a lot time with the  _bitch._

Rachel made his blood boil, dealing him the same card over and over again, never looking at her part in all of this.

Leaving him with no other option than to drink his frustration away, getting out of her way, instead of what he really wanted to do and say. Because there was no doubt in his mind, that Rachel would use that one night as a final blow, to rip him and Miles apart, if she felt necessary. So, he kept his mouth shut , worked hard, drank a lot, and started all over again the next morning.

* * *

' _Keep them coming,'_  he grunted to the guy behind the bar, pointing at his drink before him. Bass felt the drink burning at the back of his throat. He was looking at Miles at the other side of the bar, talking to some local nobody's. Of course, when he had congratulated his brother, slapping him on the back when they were joking around for a moment, it hadn't been long before Rachel walked over. It was his cue to leave and head straight to the bar, needing a drink, any kind of drink. He was staring into his glass when he heard the guy behind the bar.

' _Can I help you?'_

' _Yeah, I am looking for my Uncle?'_

Bass would recognise that voice everywhere. The last time he saw her was on his way to his office. Early morning, the first light of the morning reflected in her hair. Jacket, jeans, crossbow on her back, reins in her hands, horse following her. Her back turned to him, her shoulders hanging low.

When Miles told him with hurt clearly visible in his brothers eyes, that Charlie left for an indefinite amount of time with Gene, it had felt like a cold punch in his stomach. He hadn't seen a lot of her the past weeks. She could be infuriating and throw him all the looks she wanted, but  _hell,_ he missed her. He was feeling miserable already and there was no use denying that anymore to himself, just adding more misery to misery. He missed her fire, missed her being in his face, giving him hell, never backing down, never afraid of him, always meeting his gaze head on with her clear blue's.

He had seen the change in her, the change in her eyes. It had started in Austin, he had seen it in her eyes when Miles dragged her out of the city after she had to kill the Neville kid.

He had known instantly what that day had cost Charlie. How things would never be the same for her. And after that, he had seen her take punch after devastating punch. He had seen the darkness slowly creeping into the clearness.

_Charlotte._

He turned towards the place her voice came from. Just like that, after months, she had walked into the bar like she had never left. Bass had expected to see blonde curls, pants and a well fitted tank top but he took in her black dress in surprise. A small purple stone that rested on her smooth skin, right above the curves of her breasts.

_Damn, she was fucking stunning._

Bass watched her warm smile, watched blonde hair fall over her shoulders, watched how Miles pulled her close. People meeting her, joking around.

And then, in the middle of the crowd, the noise, the drinks and celebration, her eyes found his. They locked eyes like they did so many times before, but there was a hint dangerously close to a smile forming around her lips, directing at him. Bass did not give a fuck right now if anybody would notice, but he raised his drink towards her and could not take his eyes away from her.

He should have dragged his ass back home, but his mind decided otherwise. He waited for her, right outside the bar. He was enjoying another shot of whiskey when she walked out.

' _Look who's back.'_ Bass decided to go for the casual approach, not knowing for sure if world war three was about to break lose. He watched how she slowly turned his way, he couldn't turn his eyes away from her.  _'Missed me so much huh?'_

' _God, you can be a self centred full of yourself son of a bitch Monroe.'_  She threw him a look, filled with fire. He followed the movements of her right hand, slowly landing on the curve of her hip.

' _But yes, I missed you. Not much though,'_ She shrugged her shoulders at him, but there was a challenge in her eyes that woke something up inside of him, he tried to push away since the moment she woke up in that empty swimming pool, tied next to him. Charlie took one step closer to him.

He put his drink on the table next to him and walked towards him. She did not even flinch. Of course she didn't. Hell, this was Charlie Matheson. She never took one step away from him. That's what was part of what always seemed to get him into trouble when it came to this woman. It had intrigued him from the first time he laid eyes on her.

' _Let's save the fighting and battling for tomorrow, you know, when you are sober and can use all your mental capacity. Just wanting to give you a fair chance'_ a soft smile around her lips, lifting one of her eyebrows, mocking tone in her voice.

' _Is that so?'_ he watched her intensely, finding the exact same need in her eyes that he felt building up in himself. It had been a long time since he had to listen to her challenging him, and  _fuck_ , he missed this. The hand she placed on his chest was burning though the fabric of his shirt. It was all the invitation he needed.

' _That is some dress you are wearing tonight, Charlotte,'_ the skin of her neck was close to his lips, when she moved in closer.

Bass felt how Charlie's body answered him by closing a little bit more of the remaining distance between them, he watched how her lips parted, her eyes going over his lips. He touched her cheek with his fingers, like he had done once before everything went to hell. When Charlie grabbed his jacket between her fingers he closed the last distance between them, his mouth finally locked with hers.

He put his arms around her, feeling the warmth of her body, and lifted her up. He knew he had wanted her for so long, but now her breath was on his lips, he realised just how badly . He held her in his arms and carried her into a small dark corner close by.

Charlie tasted him, his tong exploring her mouth. The scent of his leather jacket and his skin close when she let go of his lips and started to lick the skin of his neck, was something she couldn't get enough off.

One of his hands went over the fabric of her dress, starting at her side and finding one of her breasts. Charlie could not fight back the small moan, coming from the back of her throat when he covered her breast with his hand completely. She grabbed the waistbands of his pants and tilted her hips so they crashed against his.

Feeling her hips rolling towards him, caused him to get even harder. He had felt his dick react the moment he saw her entering the bar, the dress doing fucking good things for her incredible body.

Finally feeling her, touching her, hearing her moan and breathe against his skin made him rock hard. He wanted her, all of her. He wasn't sure if she wanted to go there to, tonight.

But when her hand moved from his chest, lower to his stomach and did not stop there he gently stopped her, finding her eyes.  _So she did wanted to go there._

' _Not here.'_  His voice low.

Charlie looked at him in confusion, not sure why he stopped, feeling way to vulnerable all of a sudden.

Bass felt a shift within her, the smallest hint of insecurity in her eyes.

' _Fuck, Charlie, I want this, I want you. But not here, not in this alley.'_

' _Well, if not here, where?'_ One eyebrow raised at him, one of her hands playing with his shirt, the other one on his ass.

Bass pressed a kiss in her neck, before he put an arm over her shoulder, his lips close to her ear.

' _My place.'_

He smiled when he felt the curve of her body against him, when she was walking next to him. Hell, he hadn't used that line in like forever with a woman. He never thought he would use it again, use it with Charlie.

* * *

The door of his apartment was hardly closed when he shoved her back against the door. Charlie had already gotten rid of his jacket and was busy pulling his shirt over his head. Bass let his hands roam over her hips and her upper legs. Charlie closed her eyes and tilted her head against the wooden door. She moaned when she felt how he slowly began to lift her dress up with his hands, the fabric creeping over thighs.

' _Turn around, Charlotte.'_

Normally Charlie didn't like when he took control, but this time, it only turned her on even more. The low grunt of his voice and his breath against the skin of her neck when she had turned around making it difficult to think. She placed her hands on the door for support.

Bass shifted her hair over one shoulder. Pressed a wet kiss at the back of her neck. He let his fingers glide from her hands to her shoulders, before he started to open her dress, his hands going over the zipper on the back.

Charlie felt his hand slow down, one hand on the zipper, the other on resting on her hip, before he effortlessly let the dress glide over her hips. Another kiss on her shoulder, his arms all around her for a moment.

Charlie felt his hard chest against her back, his hardness pressed against her ass. She turned around, wrapping her hands around his neck.

Bass lifted her from the ground, and without thinking she wrapped her legs around his waist. He started to move her away from the door and towards another one. He kicked it open with one of his boots and put her on the bed slowly.

He leaned in for another deep kiss that made her nipples hard. She could feel his impressive erection through his pants, a deep want building up in her core. Bass lifted himself from the bed, Charlie sitting before him. He started on his belt but she stopped him. Her lips started to explore his stomach, while her hands got rid of his belt and opened the button.

She watched Bass, following her every movement with his eyes. She pulled his pants down, while he kicked his boots of his feet. His freed cock asked for her hands and she slowly started to explore the soft skin of his hard dick.

Bass watched how Charlie sat in front of him, when she opened her bra and let it slide from her body. Her breasts were perfect, the silver chain dangling in between them, when she moved forwards to put his cock in her hands. He let go of a deep grunt when he felt her hands closing around his hardness. He cupped her face, and pushed her back on the bed.

She shifted her weight a little, feeling how Bass got rid of her final piece of clothing, how her panties reached her ankles before they joined his pants and boots on the floor, was highly erotic, causing to wake up even more raw need inside of her. He kissed the sensitive skin of her ankle, his eyes going to the wet place between her legs. She almost blushed. Or maybe she did. She didn't care. This was almost too much. Almost. This was Bass, and she wanted to let him see all of her. His eyes told her it was okay to let go. She never experienced this kind of natural and raw need.

And then, it was just skin on skin when their bodies found each other. Charlie felt Bass his weight all over her, pressing her in the mattress. His lips explored her body, while she dragged her fingernails into the skin of his back. Charlie  _wanted_  to feel him everywhere, but she  _needed_  him inside of her.

' _Bass, I want you,'_ a small pause when she felt his breath on her face, her eyes never leaving his when she spoke, ' _All of you.'_

Charlie noticed the quick change in his face when she said his name, barely recognising her own voice, enjoying the way his name sounded.  _Bass._

Her mouth closed around his lips and he gently repositioned her hips. Charlie felt how his fingers explored her wet folds, slowly rubbing her, playing with her clit. She had been wet and ready for him the moment they walked into the door. She gave him the smallest of nods.

When she felt his hardness fill her completely for the very first time, she had to close her eyes and could only hold on to him, her hands around his shoulders.

When Charlie said his name, Bass hearing his nickname coming from her lips with need and softness all in one, at the same time, the only thing that mattered was her. He set a deep and slow pace, thrusting in and out of her.

She arched her back against him, his lips closing around her nipples. Charlie let out a moan with every thrust, and asked him for more. She felt tension building up in her core. She put her head in the crook of his neck, disappearing completely in him.

_His battle hard body._

_The taste of his skin, tasting his sweat and that one spicy scent that was so typically Bass._

_One hand that moved back to her clit, rubbing it with perfect pressure._

_The build up in her core, her muscles tensed, when she felt her orgasm coming from deep within her._

' _Charlie, look at me.'_

She looked up in his eyes, the blue in his eyes darker than normal. And when she locked eyes with him, his thrusts so deep, she could only give in, she felt like she could give in at last. All the want, the want she had been fighting back for so long exploded right around him, Bass his name a scream on her lips, when she tilted her head back into the pillow and came with an intensity like she never experienced before.

Bass drank her in with his eyes. When she was about to come in his arms, he needed to look at her, needed to see her. Every part of her.

_Her eyes half closed, filled with raw want._

_Want for him._

_Her deep moans against his skin._

_Her walls closing around his dick when he made her come, her head tilting back._

_His name, hearing her scream his name when she let go, when she surrendered, shooting straight to his balls, shooting straight to his body._

Bass slowed down, watching her through her orgasm before he wasn't able to hold back himself anymore. He lost control of his movements in her, her hands on his back, when he grunted her name and pulled out just in time to spill himself over her thigh, wishing he could have stayed buried inside of her.

He let his head crash on the pillow next to her head, still covering her completely with his body. He felt her soft lips somewhere in his neck.

They were both laying there in the darkness, out of breath, still so very close. He rolled over carefully, and pulled his arms around her, her head landing on his chest. Her legs still entangled with his. Bass fingers played with the little purple stone on the silver chain around her neck while Charlie pressed a lazy kiss on his chest, her hand stroking the strong lines of his upper arm.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always! I will work on my other stories this week as well, but I'm also working on what will be next for Charlie and Bass here. :) Until the next chapter...ciao!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for all your appreciation for this story, every kuddo, follow, favourite or review makes me smile. Your thoughts and feedback are always appreciated!

Charlie let her fingers explore all over Bass his stomach and chest, her movements slow, her body still in the afterglow of coming all around him. The echo of how he had grunted her name when he forcefully came still going through her mind, and almost immediately causing more hunger for the man next to her.

His arms were all around her, all muscle and hardness. The scruff of his beard against her forehead. The sweat of his skin touching her lips. She pressed a kiss softly on a scar.

The town outside was quiet, the room almost dark. The silence between them was deep, but Charlie felt no need to change that, neither did Bass.

He moved a little bit away from her, creating more room between them. Charlie looked up, and watched how he touched her cheek with one finger, and slowly moved down on to her neck. The roughness of his skin caused her to shiver lightly under his touch.

She moved her hand towards his face, letting her fingers go all over his scruff. She tilted her head back and pressed her lips against his beard. And then another one closer to his lips before her mouth ever so slowly started to brush against his. A sharp aching deep inside of her building up, when her mouth closed around his lips. Her body revealed what she really wanted when a, to her own taste, way to needy sounding moan escaped from her throat. She felt how Bass smiled against her lips.

' _Coming back for more, Charlotte,'_ His voice deep and teasing, a combination that made her skin burn and her core respond.

' _Shut up, Bass,'_ How much she tried to fight it, Bass felt her smile against his lips this time.

He froze under her lips when she continued, her voice a whisper in his ear.

' _When you play nice, I won't be the only one that will be coming.'_

 _Holy hell._ Her promise followed by a small bite on his upper lip. Bass let out an appreciating grunt.

He reached out for her, deepening the kiss. His tongue twisting around her tongue, his hand caressing her side, caressing her hips before Charlie felt them disappear between her legs.

She was still laying on her side, and Bass moved his body so he was facing her. She buried her face into the crook of his neck and bit his shoulder when he started to explore the sensitive and still swollen skin of her folds. Her fingernails duck into his chest when Bass started to make small circles over her clit, sliding through her wetness.

Bass took all the time in the world, listening to her breathing getting heavier, little moans coming from her throat.

_Fuck, she was hot._

He kept pressure on her clit, when he moved first one and then two fingers gently inside of her, moving in and out of her. He wrapped his free hand under her neck and around her shoulder, and pulled her closer. His hand ended up halfway her neck and her hair.

One of her legs moved over his waist, giving him more and deeper access. This time he went slow. Charlie moved her hips towards his fingers. He picked up the pace, adding one more finger. She was tight, she was wet, causing him to groan deeply in her hair.

He could feel the build up around his fingers, felt how she was bracing herself, one hand firmly at his back. He added more pressure.

Charlie had her eyes closed, she did not have to look at him to take him all in. She was buried in him, in his embrace. His skin warm, the scent in his neck all Bass. She was getting dizzy, feeling every muscle in her body tensing up, getting ready for letting go all around his fingers, deep inside of her. Her breathing deep and fast, moans close to his ear.

' _Bass, I am close,'_  another deep moan.  _'God, don't stop.'_

' _Let go, Charlotte.'_

And with one deep scream she did, this orgasm even more intense then the first. Bass felt her tight walls close around all his fingers, felt how her body crashed into his, the leg around his waist locking firmly around him.

When she slowly started to relax against him, Bass could sense little aftershocks going through her.

Charlie surprised him, by moving herself over him, pushing him back into the pillow and into the mattress. She straddled him, locking eyes with him. His eyes were wide open, darkness and intensity in it. She took his left hand and placed it on her waist, and then repeated her movement so both his hands were resting on her hips. She pressed her lips onto his when she started to rub her core over his hardness. First the touch was light, before she pushed herself harder onto him.

Bass felt her wet and swollen skin going over the head of his dick, while he could feel Charlie's hips move under his hands. Damn, she knew what she was doing. He felt how she picked up the pace, gliding over his dick over and over until he grunted her name.

Charlie knew what he wanted and after one more rub she guided him into her, letting her body sink onto his hardness. She started slow, giving her body time to adjust to him, the new angle giving her another wave of pleasure. When he was buried into her completely Charlie stopped for one second, tilting her body back, and placed her hands on his thighs.

Bass felt his balls squirm when he watched and felt how Charlie shifted her body, felt the weight of her hands right above his knees on his thighs, her breasts looking fucking fantastic under this angle.

Charlie found a perfect pace, riding him intensely. She closed his eyes and let out a deep moan when she felt how his left hand reached for her clit. It was still oversensitive, but his movements were slow and teasing without adding too much pressure, like he could read her.

Bass stroked her clit, while his other hand stayed on her hips, pushing her down on his dick every time her body met his. He was not going to last any longer. He moved both of his hands to her lower back, slowly guiding her towards him. He needed her close, pulling his knees up so she could only go one place, towards his chest, towards him.

He started thrusting deep inside of her, taking over, moaning her name over and over. Charlie wished he could have stayed inside of her, wanting to know how it would feel if he came inside of her but she knew they couldn't.

So she shifted a little bit, reaching for his cock when she regrettably felt how he left her. A grunt coming from his lips when he felt how her tightness disappeared from around his cock. But within seconds he could feel her warm hand all around the head of his cock, stroking him, stroking him to completion. His mouth went to her without event thinking about it, his hand on the back of her head when he came, came in her hand.

Charlie watched him, watched his every movement. And when they both came back to the room, when their heartbeats slowly returned to a normal pace, words were not necessary. Bass reached for the sheets, wrapping them around them while he took Charlie in his arms. He pulled her against her chest, her back towards him, one arm under her head, one arm around her breasts. Charlie leaned in, following the curve of his body.

This sensation was new. There had been men before him, but it was the first time she felt the need to stay, to stay close. It was the first time she felt sated, felt her sweat and his on her skin, and actually realised she was going to fall asleep with the weight of his arms around him. It was not like she did not think about if before, when she fell asleep, with him not very far away, many nights together on the road. It was a thought she never allowed to linger too long in her mind. But for the first time she experienced what it was like to go to sleep, feeling warm, feeling sheltered strangely enough. Next to him, next to Bass.

He did not know what to expect when he had covered both of them. It had been an impulse to want her body close, to cover her with the sheet. Maybe she would crash at his place, but turn away from him and get some sleep before sunrise. Maybe he had to watch her pick up her dress from the floor before she would go in a couple of minutes.

The moment his mind went to that place, he had felt a sting in his stomach, really hoping she wouldn't.

When he realised Charlie's breath was evening out, he had a hard time swallowing all of a sudden. Her body sank further into his. Warmth. Her soft skin. The smell of her hair so close.  _Charlie._ He buried his head into her neck, and for the first time in a long time, it was not the spinning feeling of being absolutely wasted from way too much Whiskey, but it had been her that pulled him into sleep.

When he woke up, the first light of the day falling on her skin, he did not want to move. He had slept for what felt like a couple of hours, but somehow, even asleep, he was still aware of her, being so close to him. He pressed a light kiss in her neck.She slowly lifted her arm, her hand going through his hair, giving him one hell of a view when he looked down. Her pale breasts and her soft pink nipples, blonde curls falling over them. She turned to face him, a smile reaching her eyes, when he moved in to kiss her.

' _Hey,'_  he grunted against her lips, his voice hoarse with sleep.

Charlie had been awake for quite a while, but there was something in her that did not want to leave his arms. She never thought she was the type for long cuddling, but his strong arms around him, not sure how long they would stay there, made her want to stay for now.

She could feel the shift within him when he woke up, and when her hand explored his curls, her mouth found his she let out a content sigh.

They kissed slowly when all of a sudden a part of Bass brain started to wake up. Charlie felt how he suddenly stopped.

' _Fuck.'_ He grunted under his breath, pressing a kiss on her nose. Charlie opened her eyes lazily, when she watched how Bass jumped out of bed and started to roam through a small closet next to the door.

' _Miles is going to kill me if I am late for this meeting.'_

Blanchard was coming into town today. Bass had been late several times before, something that involved a hangover the seize of fucking Texas and his brother had made it very clear he was not happy about having to meet Blanchard on his own this time.

Charlie let out a laugh, when her eyes sparkled at him, a hint of mischief in her eyes when her eyes went over the bed and looked down at herself for a quick second, one eyebrow raised at him.

' _You think Miles is going to kill you for that, Bass?'_

Bass watched her, in his bed. The white sheets wrapped around her waist, long legs and the curve of one of her breasts still showing.  _Hell, she was beautiful like this._

He smiled, while he walked over to her to press a kiss on her lips.

' _You are going to be the death of me, Charlie,'_

' _Told you I was going to kill you once.'_ A small frown appeared between her eyes. ' _It only just occurred to me that this way is much more fun.'_

Charlie watched how Bass smiled, truly laughed at her.

' _You, Charlotte Matheson, are one hell of a woman.'_

One hand under her chin, tilting her head back while he pressed one last kiss on her lips, looking for her eyes. He hated to leave her like this.

' _Get the hell out of here, Bass, I'll be fine. Don't want Miles to actually kill you. Not when I maybe want to go for another round later.'_

He was almost out of the door when he turned her way.

' _Another round huh?'_

She stretched out slowly in front of him, wrapping the sheet around her breasts when she got out of bed and walked over him, her hands on his chest.

' _Maybe.'_

There was a smile forming around her lips that lit up her eyes with challenge that already made Bass want to drag her back to bed.

When he shut the front door behind him, he could still notice the sweetness of Charlie around him.  _Damn, this was going to be a long day._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading. My writing heart is always happy when these two are close together, so this chapter was a lot of fun to write. :) Until the next chapter...ciao!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for your amazing reviews for my last chapter, it was so much fun to write that one and to finally bring them together. Always good for my Charloe heart :) Thank you for the kind feedback about mistakes in grammar: English is not my first language, so that causes some problems every now and then. Thank you for helping me, hope you guys will forgive me those mistakes. I always want to give you a good chapter.

 When Charlie heard the sound of the front door closing, she looked around the bedroom for a moment _._

_His bedroom._

The apartment was silent all of a sudden.

It was still early, she could hear how the town outside was waking up slowly. Her eyes went back to the bed, her mind not far behind as it pulled her back into the night that was slowly fading away with the arrival of the light of a new day.

Her skin was still warm from his, and she could still feel his hard tall body wrapped around hers when she had slept more deeply then she could remember in a long time. His spicy scent still lingering around her. His deep hoarse voice repeating over and over in her head before she reached a mind shattering orgasm _. Let go Charlotte, let go._

She had slept with Bass. And although it should have been like a whole lot of other things than feeling natural, it  _had_  felt more natural than Charlie ever could have imagined. There was something about him that made her feel like moving towards an edge, and almost fall over it, and make her feel comfortable all at the same time.

He still got under her skin. He still could be an arrogant smug bastard , and that was on a good day. The past was still there. All the unspoken truths, fears and questions between them were still there.

But something else was there too.

The first time she was able to admit that to herself was in Vegas, the second time around. It was when she had been tied up in Duncan's tent, her thoughts with Monroe and the upcoming dog fight, her thoughts with Monroe, trapped in the cage where Gould hat put him with Connor, like an animal.

It was almost surreal when she had heard her own voice when she was actually defending  _Monroe_  to  _Duncan_. Knowing for sure that if Duncan wouldn't help her, Monroe would be dead in twenty four hours. For many months her mantra had been to kill him, to kill him to numb out all her pain, to put all the blame on him. But somehow, her perspective had changed.

And when she had watched Bass leaning casually against the wall of the bar a couple of hours before, she did not think about what everybody else would. She, for the first time, really thought about what she wanted, what she needed. And she had wanted him. She had wanted to know what it would be like. She had wanted to stop fighting the feelings of want inside of her, a raw unpolished need for something she thought could never be.

She picked up her dress and underwear from the dark wooden floor, noticing how much she liked them there close to his bed, and got dressed quickly.

Her hands went to her neck without thought, realising then that the necklace wasn't there anymore. From the corner of her eyes she could see something silver peeking from under the sheets. Her first impulse was to pick it up but then she changed her mind. She left it there, a hint of a smile forming around her lips.

The living room was dark, the old ragged curtains prevented the morning sunlight to come in. She opened one of the curtains before she walked back to his kitchen. She was not sure what to expect, but she found the kitchen to be simple, clean and organized.

She was thirsty and found some water. Breakfast would have to wait. When she was almost out of the door her eyes fell on the wooden table between the couch and the kitchen.

There were documents and books all over the table, but that was not what caught her attention.

She didn't want to browse through his personal belongings, it felt wrong, but when Miles eyes met hers, a faded photograph peeking out one of the books, she almost forgot to breath for a moment, her body felt strangely far away for a moment. She took the picture in her hands.

There they were, younger, but so definitely them _._

 _Bass. Miles_.

Blue eyes next to dark ones. Both of them holding a bottle of beer casually in their hands. Miles his arm casually dropped on Bass his shoulders. Their look into the world open, almost boyish smiles on their faces, looking directly at her.

Without noticing her hands trembled. Although the picture initially warmed her from the inside, there was one silent tear running over her cheek before she carefully placed the picture back where it belonged, every detail from the picture engraved in her mind. Her hand rested on the book for a moment.

There was one painful and impossible question on her mind that put a heavy weight on her chest, when she walked back to her grandfather's house through the silent streets of the town, the orange golden sun peeking over the roofs of the houses in the main street.

_How on earth did they end up from those men in that picture to the men she knew now? How did they go from there to here?_

* * *

**_Later that morning_ **

Charlie watched how Aaron got a glass of water for Priscilla. She smiled at the way he was taking care of her, watching her every move, not letting her and her very pregnant belly out of his sight.

She felt comfortable in their home, loved all the little details around here. The sun was shining through the big windows of the living room, a warm rug on the floor under her boots. There were some pictures in frames on the fire place, tea in mix-match mugs, and a small nursery in a small but light room that Aaron had showed her with pride.

They had talked for hours. Tea turned into lunch. They talked about the new baby that was on the way, about the months she just spend on the road with Gene. Slowly the tone got more serious.

Charlie tried to understand everything as much as she could when Aaron started to talk about the nano, the way they had taken over Priscilla. It made the hairs in her neck stand up straight. More details to fit together the impossible puzzle, the puzzle that was her world after the blackout. She knew Aaron was carefully weighing the amount of information he gave to her, but bit by bit, it started to make sense just a little bit more. And somewhere in the back of her mind she knew for sure. This was not over.

In between the conversation Charlie's thoughts wandered back to earlier this morning for just a moment. When she had reached her grandfather's home, and walked into the small kitchen she had stood eye to eye with her mother. They hardly shared a few words at the bar the night before, and the air around them was loaded with a tense kind of energy. She noticed how her mother looked at her dress quickly, before Charlie turned to one of the kitchen cabinets to find some breakfast.

' _You just walked in?'_  Charlie noticed the calm in her mother's voice, mixed with something else. It was not the question itself, but the almost patronizing sound in her mother's voice that irritated her.

She found a small open jar with some dried fruit in and took some in her hands before she turned back to her mother, leaning against the kitchen counter.

' _Yeah I did,'_  her tone flat.

' _The bar closed hours ago Charlie, where did you...'_

Charlie listened to her mother's words, knowing very well where this conversation was going. It needed not to go there. In fact, Charlie needed this whole conversation to be over. Now.

' _It did. But let me stop you right there. Where I went, how I spend my free time is none of your business.'_ Her jaws tensed up, her normally so blue eyes darkened a bit.

Rachel was about to open her mouth, when Charlie had walked past her to freshen up and change into a new set of clothes, leaving her mother behind, not wanting to be in the same room as her any more.

Aaron had watched Charlie, he knew that look on Charlie's face. He gave her some space before he talked to her again.

' _Trouble with your mother?'_  it was a question, but before she answered Aaron had seen the answer all over her face. He knew, ever since they came back to Willoughby after the tower, how much of a struggle the relationship between Rachel and Charlie had been. He had tried to talk to Rachel about it, but he felt quite powerless in this matter.

' _Yeah, something like that.'_  A small pause, a small sigh.  _' That house, it's just too small for the both of us Aaron.'_

' _Well, kiddo, I might have a solution for that._ ' Charlie raised an eyebrow at him before he nodded to her to get up. She noticed he took something out of a small drawer before walking out of the front door.

' _Where are we going?'_  Charlie followed him.

' _Not far,'_  was his only answer.

Aaron turned the corner from his and Priscilla's home. He pointed at a front door, the faded green paint of the wood chipping off at some places. And then he dangled a small key before her.

' _See it as an early birthday present. And as a way to make sure you and your mother won't actually kill each other.'_

It took a moment for Charlie to realise what he meant.

' _It technically belongs to our home, but it's separate, has its own entrance and we don't need the space anyway.'_

' _Aaron, it's way too much. I..'_  Aaron stopped her.

' _No it's not. Now take the key before I change my mind.'_

She walked in the small apartment for the very first time. The wooden floor was light brown, and in good condition. The curtains were actually not that bad, a soft green. In the middle of the living room there was a working fireplace. There was a small bedroom, with an actual bed standing in the middle. The whole apartment wasn't big, but if fitted perfectly from the moment she had walked in.

Aaron was standing behind her.

' _So, what do you think?'_

' _I think I will take the key, and the offer. Thank you,'_  she hugged Aaron who patted her back with a little hint of being uncomfortable.

' _With this, Uncle Aaron is done.'_ Aaron pointed at the apartment around her. ' _For any hard work that need to be done and the many heavy things that need to be moved around, you will go to your Uncle Miles.'_  The oh so familiar sarcasm in his voice made Charlie tilt her head back and laugh out loud.

* * *

Bass sat down on the porch, waiting for Miles. There had been some trouble on the other side of town, but it was nothing they could not handle. Bass was surprised his brother asked him to have a beer together. He could use one, hell, he could use more than one, even if that meant a chance of having to see Rachel. It was an almost unspoken rule that he wasn't welcome in their small home, not far away from the main street. So he settled for the porch outside, feeling her cold stare in his back, his jaws locked, his lips pressed to a small line.

It had been two days since he had spoken to Charlie. When he had came back home from a long day, filled with a meeting with Blanchard and a load of paperwork, he had only wanted one thing. His bed.  _Hell_ , he had wanted two things. His bed and Charlie in it. The pillow next to his still had a hint of Charlie's scent and when he pulled the sheets close there was something sharp pressing against his thigh. He had moved his hands under the sheets and lhad ooked at her necklace in his hand.

_He could see her sharply, the necklace around her slender neck, the curves of her breasts, her hard nipples going through his fingers, the weight of her breasts still tangible in his hands._

It had caused him to harden in his pants. And when he had let his cock slide into his hand, his mind had been filled with  _her_.

_He was back with her but this time he did not pick her up and carry her into his bedroom like he had done before, but kept her shoved against the back of the front door. When he stood in front of her he pulled her dress up and let his fingers slide over the skin of her thighs. He found the fabric of her panties and rubbed over the sensitive skin. She was wet, soaking through the black fabric. He made his fingers slide inside her panties, and with one movement, slide into her. He could hear her moans echo through his mind. She pulled her legs around his waist begging for him to fuck her. And he did, he let his mind roam free, buried himself inside of her, thrusting deep, his mouth crashing on hers._

When Bass remembered what it was like to hear his name coming from Charlie's lips, he cupped his balls with one hand and came hard into his other with a deep sated grunt.

 


	16. Chapter 16 ( or chapter 15, part two)

 Bass had seen Charlie in town this morning, from a distance this time, but she had been busy negotiating a good price at one of the market stalls. She had one hand on her hip, her head tilted slightly to the side, the blue in her eyes lightened up. When she turned away from the stall her eyes found his for a very short moment. They had locked eyes so many times before, it was their language, but this time, it was very much different.

Damn, he almost forgot what it was like to have her around. Miles was not very far behind Charlie, and when they both walked away from the stall, both smiling about something Miles said to her, he could not help but smile with them.

When he waited for Miles to come back out to the porch, there was no way in hell he would go into the house and near Rachel, his mind started the battle that had been going on in his head for months now. The battle if he should tell Miles about that night in Philly and put all his cards on the table. He went over this again and again.

But now Charlie was back, he knew that she knew about Philly, and there was just something in him that hated to put her in the middle of this. He knew her well enough to know that keeping this from Miles must be torture for her.

Bass knew he had to tell Miles and that the consequence was probably losing his best friend. There was no way in hell Miles would believe him when he would tell Miles he did not force anything on his precious Rachel. Losing Miles again, after losing Connor, was too much. So he kept his mouth shut, damn well knowing that the truth would come out someday and all hell would break loose.

Miles dangled a beer in front of him, before he opened his own. Miles leaned against the banister of the porch not far from him, while Bass let his elbows rest on his knees, enjoying the first taste of the beer against his tongue. They both drank their beer in silence for a couple of minutes.

' _Saw you with Charlie this morning.'_

 _Fuck._ He silently cursed under his own breath. The words were out of his mouth before he realised he had done so. He watched how Miles took a gulp from his beer, holding on to his own bottle a little bit harder.

' _Yeah man, it's good to have her back.'_ Miles voice sounded casual, but Bass did not say anything back for a moment, he knew Miles well enough to know how much it meant to him. ' _Helped her out today, moved some stuff. She has got a new place. Aaron arranged it for her.'_

Bass noticed a shift in his brother, while Miles straitened his back, a grimace on his face.

' _Ah so that's why your back is killing you today.'_ Bass nodded at Miles with his beer, a mocking tone in his voice.

' _Shut up, you dick,'_ Miles grunted to Bass.

They did not look at each other, but without knowing, they both had the same smile on their faces.

* * *

 

Charlie let out a content sigh. There was a small fire in the fireplace, which Miles had insisted on making. First she had wanted to protest, she could do these things on her own, but then she realised Miles knew. So she had let him and watched him with a smile.

He had just left, pulling her into a small hug before he messed up her hair in a playful gesture. It earned him a quick kick to his shin from Charlie.

' _Cut it out Miles.'_

Miles watched his niece , and could not help but to think how much she had changed right in front of him. The stubborn four year old was gone and evolved into this strong young woman who could stand on her own. Still stubborn as hell. Ben would be so proud. He never told her, but he loved this girl and pride was filling his chest.

' _Goodnight Miles. Thank you for helping out.'_ He was almost out of the door before he winked at Charlie.

' _Goodnight kid, you know where to find me if you need something.'_ Warm eyes said goodbye to her.

It had been a long day, to Charlie's surprise there was a lot to take care of before she was settled in. She loved the time she got to spend with Miles, and she realised just how much she had missed him the past months.

She had hardly seen her mother today. Her moving to her own place wasn't meant as a direct attack on her mother, but she needed the space. It was time to find something on her own, to build something on her own. But when she saw her mother's face when she had told her and Miles the news, she could feel her reaction. Miles had been happy for her and when Rachel had excused herself from the living room he had gave her a reassuring look.

' _Don't worry, I will talk to her.'_

He threw an arm around her shoulders.

' _Care to join your Uncle for a drink?'_

When they had walked into the small town bar to celebrate her first place on her own, a first roll of thunder had been rumbling in the sky, the first raindrops had been crashing on her skin.

Charlie had been enjoying herself, listening to a story of Miles his first truly horrible place of his own, many years ago, when they had been interrupted by raised voices at the other side of the bar. First she was just annoyed by the interruption of the story. Miles rarely talked about his past. But when he did, Charlie always loved every minute of it.

But then the atmosphere of the normal so peacefully bar changed quickly into a more dark and grim one. Before the fight broke loose, Miles had been there with some other guys to break the fight up. It had been over in a moment, but there was a small pull in her mind to another bar, many nights ago. A flash of  _his_  face storming through the locked doors of the bar, a flash of men circling around her, only a second but enough to throw her of balance for a moment. She quickly pushed that little hint of darkness away and forced herself to focus on the drink that Miles got from the bar. She focussed on his story and she felt herself relax again.

And now, she was alone, alone for the first night in a place that was all her own. It was brand new, this feeling, and she loved every part of it. This was hers, all hers.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that Priscilla had found somewhere in their attic. Jeans, grey shirt, her hair messed up from Miles his nice move and the rain outside, and her cheeks red with a healthy blush from a day's hard work.  _Yeah, she was a mess._

Her eyes fell on something black, staring at her from an open bag, shoved against the side of the couch.  _The black dress._  She picked it up and decided it would be the first thing she would place in her closet. She touched the smooth fabric for a moment, realising she already longed for him again with a sigh, before she closed the closet and ordered herself back to the work that was still laying ahead. She should be tired, but she was still full of energy.

She had just started to move another box to at least clear the sitting area when there was a knock on the door. She shook her head with laughter when she walked towards it.

' _Miles, I told you, I am fine, you...'_

When she opened the door, the first thing she noticed that he was definitely not Miles. She looked directly into deep blue's and her necklace dangling from on one of his fingers right in front of her. He was leaning into the doorpost in a smug and casual way. Black v neck shirt, good pair of pants and his leather jacket.

When Bass watched her open the door, it was hard to suppress a laughter. He managed anyway because he did not want to piss her off within seconds. Her face had a dark red colour, her hair was all messed up, a simple grey shirt close to her skin and a casual jeans. No knife dangling from the chain around her waist, her face open and relaxed. This was new. He immediately liked this version of her.

' _Am I interrupting something, Charlie?'_ A calm but suggestive tone in his voice.

Charlie watched how his eyes went over her from head to toe and back again. Before she could open her mouth, he opened his.

' _You left this.'_

Charlie grabbed the necklace out of his hand.

' _I forgot this,'_  she nodded at the necklace, correcting him. She watched his eyes light up with challenge and a hint of something else that already did things to her body fast.  _Damn_ , of course he had seen right through her when she left it in his bed on purpose.

' _So, am I allowed to come in?'_ Bass eyes looked into the apartment behind her, changing the subject. There was a part of him that was truly curious what her place would be like.

' _Well, that depends,'_  she raised one eyebrow at him, his eyes questioning.  _'Did you bring me a good housewarming gift?'_

She could only laugh at him when he revealed what was in his other hand. He handed her a bottle of whiskey. Charlie stepped back into the room.

When he passed her, one of his hands found her shoulder for a moment, his thumb resting in closely to her neck, rubbing it slowly. His voice had an intensity that made her breathing go faster and mare shallow. Close to her ear, his breath on the skin of her neck.

' _That's not the only thing I am planning to give you tonight, Charlotte.'_

Anticipation was pulsing from her core and spread to her wholly body in warm waves, when Charlie closed the door behind him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and when you have time, feel free to leave a review, I always adore to read them! Until the next chapter, with love! Ciao!


	17. Chapter 17

Bass let go of her shoulder and walked into her living room. The sound of his boots on the wooden floor going through the small room. When Charlie closed her front door, she wished her heart wasn't pounding in her chest like it did. God, the smug basterd knew exactly what he was doing, overly sure she would give in. Annoyance was not far behind that thought, when she realised that was just what she wanted to do.

When she turned around she watched how Bass took his jacket off, and casually threw it over the arm rest of her couch. He looked around before he leaned into the wooden dinner table, next to the fire place.

' _Yeah sure Monroe, make yourself at home,'_ she crossed her arms before her chest.

Well, Charlie thought, he still had not lost the ability to walk into a room, any room for that matter, like he owned it. Some things never changed.

There was a hint of amusement in Bass his eyes when he noticed the fire in her eyes, the way she stood in front of him like she had done so many times before. Standing her ground, feet a little bit apart, her head tilted slightly to the right, meeting his gaze head on. He never told her, but man, he enjoyed her like this, enjoyed her like this from the beginning.

' _Are you going to give me a tour?'_

Charlie put the bottle of whiskey on the little dresser next to the door, and put her necklace over the bottle neck.

' _Over there is the kitchen.'_ She nodded to her left, without breaking eye contact with Bass, while she was taking one step closer to him.

' _Over there is the bedroom,'_  a small nod towards the small hall to her right, her voice just a little bit lower, not missing the way his mouth opened a bit. She took two more steps in his direction.

Bass did not move, his eyes were still fixed on her. Charlie was standing right in front of him, close enough to feel his breath on her face. His boots firmly on the ground, leaving enough space between his legs for her to move even closer into his personal space. He felt how his dick was already reacting.

' _This is my living room, and you and your enormous ego are currently occupying my dinner table.'_

She tilted her head back, her eyes falling on his lips. It was something she was never quite able to fight, there was something that pulled her eyes to his lips, more times than she had wanted, for even less than a second, when he was standing close to her.

His hand moved towards her lower back, while she moved her mouth to his. She pressed a light kiss on his lips before she pulled back a little.

' _So Monroe,'_  it was the first time she used his last name in a playful way, her lips still close to his,  _'what about that second housewarmings gift?'_

She felt a smirk forming around his lips.

' _You are very eager tonight, Charlotte,'_ his voice hoarse and deep.

Bass moved her closer, adding more pressure on her back with his hand. The other one found its way to the place right under her left breast. His thumb caressed her breast through the fabric of her shirt.

Charlie pressed her body against his and felt his hardening cock against her thigh. It was enough to cause a first deep moan escaping from deep within her. She knew how much she wanted him, but feeling his want for her against her thigh, drove her wild with raw need. Bass immediately moved his large hand from her back to her ass.

The slow kiss turned into a passionate deep one fast. Charlie moved a little bit away from him, pulling her shirt over her head. After her shirt dropped on the floor, she did the same with his.

Bass started to explore the skin of her neck with his mouth and tongue. He tasted every bit of her. Tasted the salt of her sweat and something sweeter. He felt how she tilted her hips towards him, rubbing her body over his cock. Charlie 's hands moved towards his belt, but Bass decided otherwise, and stopped her. With one flowing movement he turned her around so  _she_  was the one leaning against the edge of the table now, lifting her a little, and placed her on the table. His hands planted on either side of her, while he kissed her.

His hands had her bra open in no time, revealing her soft breasts and hard nipples. More kisses, this time landing in the small space between her breasts, on her breasts, his lips around her nipples, a teasing bite. She arched her back towards him, needing more and more.

' _Lay back, Charlie.'_

Charlie felt a shiver going through her spine, the fabric of her panties already soaked when she heard his words. She could not get enough of the way his voice sounded, slightly out of breath, deep and filled with want.

She slowly moved her back against the wooden table tabletop. Charlie watched how Bass started to take of her boots and socks, how he opened the button of her pants and took them off as well. He bend over her to press his lips on her stomach, his hands touching her breasts. He moved lower and lower with his mouth and spread her legs slowly. Charlie had to close her eyes, her breathing got more fast and shallow. She could feel his tongue on her thighs, on her legs and ankles before he started to move up again, painfully slow.

Bass watched Charlie in front of him on the table, her slender body, her fantastic breasts, her legs spread, only her panties between his fingers and her clit. He stroked her through the fabric, letting out a grunt when he felt how soaked she already was.

When Charlie felt how Bass took of her panties with a mind blowing slow pace, she realised with some shock what he was going to do. She felt his warm breath first against the inside of her thighs, his mouth not far behind until she could feel his breath against her already swollen folds, before his mouth closed around her clit for the very first time.

Charlie was quickly losing all control, when the tip of his tongue started to make slow circles around her sensitive skin and when he opened her with his fingers to let his tongue slide in her with them, she could only moan his name without the ability to think straight anymore. Her whole world right now was Bass his mouth, his tongue and his warm breath against her core and her own panting, blood rushing through her ears.

Bass felt how she was squirming under him, but he kept her in one place. It only caused more hot moans from Charlie. She had nowhere to go, Bass keeping her body locked to the table, the tension building up within her. She wrapped her fingers around the edges of the tabletop to find some support.

She would never forget what it was like to come around his mouth, her hands finally ending up in his dark blonde curls, curls still wet from the rain outside, moaning his name, panting without control and her body covered in sweat, his eyes pierced into her. The room around her disappeared , the wave of her orgasm gave her no other choice then to close her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, she looked directly into his , his body hovering over hers. Bass let his pants slide over his muscled thighs while he kissed her gently. Charlie heard the sound of boots and a belt hitting the floor and felt his hardness pressed against the inside of her thigh.

Bass watched her, her eyes still filled with want, and when she tilted her hips so her folds pressed against his dick, he pressed the tip of his dick against her entrance. When he filled her, his dick buried in her again, he grunted. Her walls felt warm and tight around him, and when he trusted deep into her, it was her wetness and her lips that parted slightly when he took her on the table, that drove him wild. Wild with the need to burry himself even deeper. The need to see her face when he was thrusting inside of her, the sounds coming deep from her throat.

He slowed down to tease her, picked up the pace to satisfy her. He took her ankles and spread her legs even more, and placed one ankle in his neck. The new angle and the even deeper thrusts he could manage this way, made his balls constrict.

He slowed down, pulled out of her and turned her around so her back was leaning against his chest. He cupped both of her breasts, playing with her nipples and moved down south to tease the intense spot between her legs, before he gently placed a hand between her shoulder blades and added some pressure. He waited.

' _This okay for you?'_

Charlie tilted her head back towards him and he found the answer in her eyes. He slowly guided her back to the table, spreading her legs with his legs and positioned himself so he could enter her again.

Charlie felt the wood pressed against her breasts and stomach, there was something highly erotic about knowing how Bass had spread her legs, knowing he was standing behind her, and had placed her on the table to fuck her. It felt more vulnerable in a way, not being able to look at him, but he was still everywhere, and Charlie felt how she could let go.

It was like fighting next to him, even when they were not able to look at each other, their movements were always in synch, there was always an understanding.

When he entered her, an arm aournd her waist, the other playing with her clit, she let him, she craved every one of his thrusts.

Bass felt her surrender, felt how very tight she was around him, long blonde hair spreading around her head on the table. He took her deeper and faster, pulled an arm around her waist to lift her up against his chest as much as possible, until her moans and  _the hot as hell_  picture of her bend over the table before him caused a jerk to this balls, made him pull out before he came all over her lower back while Charlie could heard her how Bass grunted a deep  _Charlotte_.

His body collapsed on hers and they both lay there, panting, holding onto each other.

Even if Charlie had wanted to, the mind shattering way he had took her , combined with a day of intense work caused her body to feel completely spent. She ended up in Bass arms, while he walked them both back to the couch, pulling her close. Their bodies were warm and slick with sweat, and she could feel his heartbeat when she rested her head on his chest.

' _You give good housewarmings gifts Bass,'_ her voice sounded lazy and deeply satisfied, when her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She had decided to beat him to the punch, not waiting for another of his smart ass remarks. She felt his lips forming into a smile against her hair.

' _Good enough to let me stay for the night, or are you going to kick my ass out now?'_

' _Too tired to kick your ass out, right now.'_ It was only a mumble against his skin, before Bass felt her relax and slowly fall asleep _. Fuck, this felt way too good._

\---------

_She was in the bar, talking to Miles, surrounded by familiar faces. Drinking, laughing, the comforting sense of being at home. The bar around her faded away for a moment before it came back into focus. But this time Miles was gone, she was sitting alone at the dark bar, finishing a meal, men circling around her. She was anywhere but home this time. There was already not enough oxygen around her to breath. She could not turn around this time, she was not able to fight them when they started to touch her. One moment later she was on the cold and filthy floor, following Monroe's movements from a far, working his way through bodies like it was nothing. She heard the sound of thunder and rain and she was suddenly waking up at a fire , only feet away from him. Feet away from Monroe. Flashes of her grabbing his knife that he had left next to him, wanting only one thing. Him. Dead. His fingers firmly planted in her upper arms, a dark look piercing into her eyes. Her head tilted back, challenge and loathing shooting back at him. 'What if I told you to go to hell?' the words biting at him. 'What makes you think you have a choice?' She hardly recognised his voice._

There was another sound of thunder, but this time the sound was closer. She could hear the rain but not feel it on her skin. It confused her. The ground under her feet disappeared, and instead of that, she felt something like a bed under her.

' _Charlie, wake up.'_

There were still hands on her arms tough, touching her. This hands felt more real in a surreal way. There was still the sound of his voice, but his tone was different.

' _Charlie.'_

When her eyes shot open and the dream finally let her go, Monroe's face was close to hers, looking worried all of a sudden, an expression she could not place. Even more confusion filled her mind, she had difficulty to understand where she was. Her first instinct was to push him away from him. She was out of breath, and her muscles ached from the tension.

She felt how he gave her more space. And just like that, the surroundings and the fire outside started to change into her bedroom again, and the Monroe from more than a year ago changed into the man she knew now. She shook her head.

' _Just a dream,'_ her voice shaky.

' _Charlie, are you okay?'_   Charlie could hear the real concern in his face, but she was not able to look in his eyes.

' _Yeah, I'm fine.'_  She tried her hardest to keep her voice steady and relaxed.  _'I'm going to get some water.'_

She did not wait for his answer when she slipped out of the bed and headed into her living room while she grabbed her shirt. There was another flash of lightning, that lightened up the room in an eerie way.

She pushed her nails into the palm of her hands, fighting back the first sob that was fighting to get out, deep within her chest. Tears for not wanting to push him away, but the dream was so very clear, it brought her back to the point where Bass had been Monroe to her. To the point where they were not where they were now. Tears for what had been, for what never could be changed.

Her heart was still racing when she stopped halfway on her way to the kitchen, her legs felt numb, so she let herself collapse on the small couch instead.

Her old world had crashed with her new reality, the moment she had woken up. Woken up to the same man, that sat in front of her by the fire in Portsboro. She was not the same anymore, he was not the same anymore, they had both moved along in time, and became something else. She had tried to push it away, but she knew the past would still find its way back to them. And tonight it did, with all its force.

She felt how the leather of his jacket touched the bare skin of her leg. She touched the leather for a moment, Bass' scent so very close to her, the jacket so very Bass, before she felt how her body started to shake, silent tears running over her cheek.

When Charlie had started to toss and turn under his arm, fighting something in the dark, her face filled with fear and agony, mumbling words he could not understand, he was wide awake within seconds.  _Nightmare._  He had seen her before like this, but he never was so close to her, he was never able pull her out of it, although he had wanted to, many times. He had watched Miles comfort her, he had heard Aaron talk her gently away from whatever demons filled her dreams, and he always had to look away.

When she finally had woken up, her eyes had been wide and distant, her muscles hard under his touch and ready to fight, filled with tense energy. She had pushed him away from her. He immediately gave her space, a dark punch in his stomach while she turned away from him.

He had let her walk out of the bedroom. He placed his bare feet on the ground next to bed, elbows on his knees and let his hand rest in his hands for a moment.

 _Fuck._ his hand going through his hair with doubt. There was a part of him that wanted to follow her. As much as Charlie put on a tough front, he knew better. She was very much not okay. But the bigger part in him screamed no. Her pain, the crushing hurt on her face, he caused so much of that. He had a role in taking so much from her. Maybe this, whatever the hell this was between them, was a huge mistake.

 _Damn it._ He grabbed his pants and when he finally decided to walk into her living room, his heart sunk into his stomach. Charlie looked small, tucked away in the corner of the couch, leaning against his jacket, shoulders low, her head in her hands, silent cries going through her body.

He sat down on the low wooden table in front of the couch, his knees almost touching with hers. His hands resting on his upper legs, his head down, fixed on a point on the floor. He had expected her to do something, fight him, kick him out, throw in his face he had to get the hell out of here. But instead, she sat in front of him, silent.

' _Do you want me to go?'_

His voice was almost too low to register, but Charlie could hear a vulnerability in it, how much he tried to hide it. She did not answer.

' _Charlie, do you want me to go?'_

Charlie felt how his voice and question slowly reached her mind, not having to think about her answer.

' _Stay.'_

Bass could still not manage to look at her.

Charlie looked up at him. He was sitting in front of her, head hanging low, tension running through his face, lips pressed together in a thin line.

' _Bass, I want you to stay,'_ It was a whisper, but with a sureness in her voice that was almost too much for him. He felt how her fingers touched his knee for a second.

Charlie softly cupped his left cheek with her hand, the hairs of his beard brushing her skin. Two strong and hard arms moved her away from the couch, into his arms and into his lap. Their foreheads touched for a moment. Their eyes finally met, blue into blue, lightened up by the soft red golden light from the small fire in the fireplace on the other side of the room.

_His eyes were telling her about endless regret._

_Her eyes were telling him that there could be more behind the endless land of darkness._

Charlie simply leaned into him. The rain was still hitting the windows, there was still rumbling in the night air, but all Charlie felt, was him.  _Bass._

They both knew they had to talk, fight, fight through this, not knowing for sure if they would make it through. But for tonight, this what they both were able to share for this moment. For now, it was enough.

When Bass noticed a small shiver running through her, he placed an arm behind her knees, another one stayed around her neck. Without words he got up from the table and carried her in his arms to her bedroom.

He carried her in the same way like he had carried her a long time ago away from those sons of bitches that tried to hurt her in that bar. Everything between them might have changed, but the need to keep her safe, to take care of her, was still so very much the same. He doubted if he ever would feel different about her.

He gently put her back on the soft mattress, covering them both up with a blanket. He stayed close to her, stroking her hair, making small circles with his hand over her back until her breathing evened out.

The last thing Charlie noticed was the faint sound of rain, his hand touching the skin of her back, soothing movements that lulled her into sleep. Bass was exactly where she wanted him. Close.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always! I hope you enjoyed Bass' housewarmings gift for Charlie. I deeply wanted to bring Charlie and Bass closer in this chapter. And although things will not be easy, maybe... this is the first step to something more. Wouldn't that be amazing? If you have some time? I adore your reviews. :) Until the next chapter...ciao!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanted to thank you for all your incredible reviews, thank you so very much. Chapter 17 took a long time to write, because this story turned out to be quite an emotional one for me. I wanted to do the characters justice, to guide them through a lot of very hard emotions along the way. So, thank you so much for liking it.
> 
> I still do not own Revolution, this is a daydream of what could have happened too!

When Bass woke up, his first thought somewhere between sleep and being awake, was that he missed her warmth, missed her curves. The place against his chest, right under his shoulder, strangely hollow, causing an immediate void within him.

He had  _almost_  forgotten what it was like to feel somebody close, to fall asleep with the sound of even breaths and warmth _. Almost,_ because somewhere under the layers of raw pain, he could picture her so sharply.  _Shelly._ It was not like he had forgotten her warm smile, her voice, what if felt like placing his hand on her stomach, feeling their unborn child kick against his hand as a silent but so strong promise of family.  _His family._

He could remember her, the past clashing into the present caused him to still drown in the feeling of the memory of the grey and cold afternoon when he had to let her go for good, and bury her with Miles, buried her together with a child he would never get to know. One last look, one last touch.

After her, there had been many woman . A pattern off almost nonstop meaningless nights, his mind hazed with too much alcohol.

Warm hands against his back broke him away from his thoughts. Warm fingers were gently finding their way to his side and to his chest. Soft breasts were pressed against his back. Her breath warm on his skin. Bass had to shut his eyes for a moment, when he realised she was still there. The movements of her hand were slow, exploring his skin, rich with scars. Her lips pressed one kiss against his back, but he was not able to move.

The room around them as still dark, the sun must have risen a while ago but the heavy clouds filled with rain were still there. There was a chill in the room.

' _Bass, about last night, that dream. That dream was about the past.'_

' _Charlie, don't. I get it. I know what I did, I know the past . If you want to stop this, at any point, I understand.'_ His voice was hoarse with sleep.

Charlie felt the muscles in his body tense up, there was a distance in his voice that almost made her turn away from him. His voice was raw. But then her stubbornness kicked in, her stubbornness that decided he was not going to push her away. This, whatever was happening between them, was not going to be easy. It had started a long time ago, it had exploded when their mouths crashed together the night she saw him leaning against the wall outside of the bar at Miles birthday, although she had been thinking about what it would be like longer than she cared to admit. And now, they were both right in the middle.

Charlie had no idea what this was. But she knew, knew for sure, the moment he had silently pulled her on her lap, she truly had wanted him to stay.

' _I am glad you stayed, Bass,'_ her voice almost a whisper.

Silence again. Bass was not sure what he could say to her at this point.

' _Do you have time for breakfast?'_ The question was simple, her voice relaxed. Bass smiled. This woman was able to push all his buttons, but also knew when to give him room.

Bass made sure there was a fire again, the living room slowly warming up around them. He watched Charlie walked barefoot into the room on her way to the kitchen. Her hair falling lose over her shoulders. She sat on one of the kitchen chairs, one leg pulled up, feet resting on the chair. Bass was leaning against the kitchen counter. They ate in silence.

Their rhythm had always been one off getting into their personal spaces and kick each other out again. Last night, when Bass had carried her back to bed, the door between them had opened again like so many times before, on so many other occasions.

The difference this time was, although neither of them completely understood yet, both of them had left the door open this time.

* * *

Charlie realised that how fast she might be able to blend into small town life again, there was some part in her that felt already restless, the part in her that was still ready to fight, ready to go.

She had been helping her grandfather with an incredible hectic morning in his small practice. It was one of those mornings that were just simply chaos, and when their last patient of the morning had left, they had both smiled at each other with a deep content but tired sigh.

After his betrayal, finding out how he had been working together with the patriots for years, Charlie had found her way again with her grandfather. It only made her realise more and deeper that things were never black and white, that was how she ,not too long ago, perceived the world around her. There were many reasons why things were they way they were now.

Charlie had not planned to walk into her mothers and Miles kitchen, but when she had passed their home, she realised it had been a couple of days since she had seen Miles. And although things between her and her mother had been rocky, to say the least, she did not wanted to push her completely out her life. A quick visit would not hurt, she decided.

The screen door closed behind her, when she walked into the house.

' _Hey guys, anybody home?'_ Her voice going through the hall. She had started to announce herself after an almost unfortunate run in with her mother and Miles in a situation she really had not wanted to see. She had never seen Miles Matheson blush at her, but this might have been the first time.

She forced herself to make small talk with her mother, when everything inside of her screamed already how much she not wanted to be here.

And when Bass announced himself with a knock on the front door, things were not getting any better. She noticed how Miles actually welcomed his brother, but her mother shot him one of her looks.

Bass nodded at her, and there was the smallest subtle shift in his eyes , when his eyes found hers that made Charlie almost blush this time. Considering what the man had been doing with her on her kitchen table, Charlie was pretty happy with herself how she kept a straight face in front of everyone.

The feeling in the room shifted quickly to a point below zero. Before things were getting really uncomfortable, an out of breath Aaron stormed in the house.

' _Woo, Stay Puft, what has gotten into you?'_ Bass raised his eyebrows at Aaron.

' _Charlie,'_ Aaron placed a hand on his left knee when he tried to get the next words out, _'where is Gene?'_

Charlie closed the distance between her and Aaron and placed a hand on his shoulders.

' _Aaron, what's wrong?'_

' _Priscilla.'_ He tried to take a deep breath, but failed miserably. He raised and waved one of his hands to a point behind him.  _'Thinks she is having contractions.'_

' _Aaron, breathe. Grandpa is at his practice, I will get him.'_ Charlie tried to comfort him, but she was not quite sure it had the desired effect, looking at Aaron with a small fond smile.

Charlie grabbed her jacket from the chair where she had left it. Meanwhile, Aaron and Rachel were almost out of the door already when Aaron turned around.

' _Charlie, I really like you, but could you like, maybe move a little bit faster?'_

Charlie let out a small laugh.

' _See you at the house with Gene? You are going to stay right? '_  Aaron's eyes were wide with excitement.

' _You would like for me to stay around?'_ Charlie wanted to know.

' _Of course, you are the baby's god mother Charlie!'_

Everybody looked at Aaron, before they looked at Charlie.

' _Aaron, what? Wait.'_ Charlie's mouth fell open. ' _What ?'_

' _Ah yes, I knew I forgot a step here,'_  Aaron looked unsure before he started talking again.

' _Well, this kid, needs a strong role model, you know. Fierce, a good teacher when it comes to hunting and tracking. Somebody that will help keep him or her safe. I know we haven't asked you yet, and Priscilla might actually kill me between contractions for already asking you, but Charlie, we want it to be you.'_

Aaron looked at her like it was the most natural thing in the world before he once again made it very clear they should hurry up.

Charlie pushed a tear away stubbornly.

' _I am honoured Aaron.'_ She tried to swallow away something that wasn't even there in her throat. _'Yes. Yes, of course.'_

Bass watched Charlie. When Aaron had barged in, it had taken him back to the day where he had felt exactly the same panic when Shelly had gone into labour. He had avoided Miles eyes, knowing damn well his brother knew where his thoughts were. Grey and dark pain had started to find its way to him. But then he watched Charlie and he was struck by the light on her face, the warmth and kindness in her when Aaron asked her to be this little kids god mother and she had accepted it with a whole hearted yes. It was her smile and eyes that casted back the darkness for a moment.

' _So you idiots, isn't there somebody waiting for you?'_  Miles was still leaning against the kitchen counter, amusement in his eyes. And with that, Charlie and Aaron stormed out of the door.

* * *

Little toes, little fingers, pink skin, soft dark hairs. Charlie felt the weight of the little baby in her arms.

It had been a long day, but when high baby cries had reached her from the other room, Charlie had let out a sigh, washed over with such a pure form of joy, it brought tears to her eyes. The baby was perfect. Perfect and healthy. And with the arrival of the new baby, a new little family was born.

Aaron's head had appeared from the other room and had nodded at Charlie to come in. Gene and Rachel were leaning against the small window still. Priscilla looked tired but her eyes lit up and there was happiness all over her face.

' _Charlie, we would like you to meet little Zoe.'_ Aaron's voice was filled by tears. The baby made little noises in Charlie's arms.

' _And this, little girl, is you god mother,_ ' Kneeling down next to Charlie.  _'You will love her, I am so very sure of that, because we all very much love her, kiddo.'_ Aaron placed one hand on Charlie's arm. Charlie had trouble swallowing all of a sudden. She and Aaron never spoke about it, but he was family to her, and with this small moment, she was so very sure he had always felt exactly the same.

A little bit later, her mother had already gone home already, she left Aaron and Priscilla's place to give them time to settle in, after her grandfather had reassured her again that Priscilla and the baby were doing great. So many past days were filled with loss, with death around her, with pain. But today, there had been new life, there had been joy and it brought a lightness to her step.

She was on her way back to tell Miles about the newest addition to the Pittman family when she heard them from a far, deep rumbling voices reaching her.

Her stomach filled with dread, her mouth was dry like it was filled with sand.

Even before she reached the house she knew what she would find there. This was what she had been dreading since the moment she had fallen asleep in the camp the day Miles had been missing and she had found out about Philly.

Charlie knew what happened before when her uncle and Bass had crashed. They were the two strongest and most intense man she ever knew, and the thought about the damage they could inflict to each other made her nauseous. She started to run.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as always! It was a long and emotional chapter for me to write, so that's why I cut it in two. The next chapter will be published immediately after this one! If you have some time? I adore your reviews. :) Until the next chapter...ciao! Love from Love.


	19. Chapter 19

He kicked the door open with his boots, ignoring Rachels looks when he had walked into their house. Cold eyes met his.

The moment Bass had reached his empty apartment, Charlie's warm smile still clear before him, he had made his decision. Instead of thinking about telling Miles about what happened, he knew he had no other choice anymore. Watching Charlie in the kitchen before Aaron had stormed in, seeing her in the middle of all the bullshit that happened between Miles, him and Rachel, he had known for sure he did wanted to place her in the middle, not anymore.

' _Get the hell out, Bass,'_ Rachel hissed at him.

' _Rachel, where is Miles?'_ He tried to make his voice sound neutral, but man, she was already making his blood boil.

' _Why, Bass?'_

' _Damn it Rachel, where is he?'_ He was shouting now, his voice deep and rumbling through the living room.

' _Outside, chopping some wood.'_ The usual cold loathing in her voice.

He was almost out of the door when she stepped closer to him.

' _Why...,'_  there was a hint of unease in her voice.

' _This bullshit is going to stop Rachel, right now. I am going to tell him,'_  His jaws locked, lips pressed together when he met her eyes.

' _Oh, you are going to tell him?'_   Rachel stepped closer, dangerously close to evading his personal space.

Her voice went soft all of a sudden, with the edge of a lioness sneaking through the grass before getting to her prey.

' _And what exactly are you going to tell him Bass ? How you made me your prisoner, how I ended up in your bed while I was your prisoner? Miles is going to tear you apart.'_

So, here they were again _. The bitch_  in front of him almost pushing him over the edge.  _Hell,_  he made some fucking huge mistakes, but the way she kept pushing him into the role of rapist, without using the actual word, almost made him lose control. But this time he did not think of what he could do, something, anything, to shut her up. This time, he turned around and walked straight out the door, leaving a stunned Rachel behind.

When Bass found Miles, chopping wood, his first wry thought was that he preferred to have this conversation without his brother holding a very lethally sharp object in his hand.

Although in the end, if would not make a difference, Miles would try to kill him anyway, with his bare hands or not.

He knew he was going to lose Miles, lose him, maybe even lose Charlie because of what was going to happen next, ripping their fragile newfound bound apart. Probably for good this time.

' _Look who decided to show up at the perfect time to help out,'_ Miles took a break and nodded to the wooden logs he still had to go through.

Miles continued his work, while Bass fixed his stare on something to his left, hands dug deep in the pockets of his jeans. The distance between them filled with a growing tense silence. Miles stopped again and looked at Bass. He knew Bass long and well enough that something was off. When Bass finally turned to him to meet his eyes, everything went from zero to hell in less than no time.

_'Miles,'  Fuck, there was no going back now,  ' it's about Philly.'_

He watched how Miles threw a block of wood and the hatchet on the grass and how he took one step closer to him. He watched his brothers brain work at full speed. He knew this was the time to get his hands out of his pockets. He knew there was no way in hell he could chose words to make this any easier, so he placed all of his cards on the table.

' _Something happened, something happened between me and Rachel.'_

' _What the hell Bass?'_ Miles eyes turned darker, his face filled with sharp lines.

' _Miles?'_    It was Rachel's voice, her voice desperate to get his attention. She had followed Bass outside and stood on the porch, not far from the two men, hand firmly grasped around the banister.

' _Rachel what is he talking about?'_   Confusion was clearly audible in Miles' voice when he looked from Rachel to Bass, and back to Rachel again.

' _It was a long time ago, when he kept me locked up in Philly. It was one night, he gave me no other...'_

' _You bitch, that's not the truth and you know it,'_ Rage took over when Bass had to listen to Rachel's words, pointing a finger at her. From the corner of his eyes he saw Miles charging at him.

' _Miles, I swear, I did not...'_

He was not able to finish his sentence when Miles fist landed full in his face.

' _You son of a bitch, how could you do that to her!'_ Miles shouted, dark eyes were spitting fire at him.

Another punch. This time followed by the taste of blood in his mouth. Bass initially tried to block his punches before Miles gave him no other choice to fight back. Bass had no idea how long they had been going at each other, when he heard a familiar voice.

Charlie took in the situation before her when she had reached the garden behind the house, Miles and Bass on the ground, punch after punch, rage on Miles face, her mother looking at them from a distance with that little twitch around her mouth that told Charlie everything.

_No._

Without thinking she walked over to the fighting men, and without thinking about it she started shouting at them.

' _You are going to stop this right now!'_ When Miles punched Bass again she shouted again at them.

' _Miles, I need the both of you to stop this right now.'_  This time her voice had not lost any of its force, but there tears were sounding through.

She finally reached her uncle, and when Miles looked up he saw Charlie, hovering over them. Bass shoved Miles away from him with one forceful movement, both men were breathing heavy when they got slowly on their feet again. Bass leaning on one hand on the grass, touching his bloody lip, before he was able to get up again.

Charlie was standing in the middle of the two bruised hurt men.

' _Charlie, you need to go, this does not concern you,'_ Miles finally looked at her.

' _Damn it Miles, this does concern me. Do you think whatever the hell happened before doesn't affect me? All those months on the road, I was right in the middle of everything.'_

Charlie needed a moment to compose herself, before she was able to lower her voice. Frustration from such a long time finally reaching a point where she could let it all out. Her voice sounded more steady again when she continued.

' _So, mom finally told you?'_

' _What the hell do you mean Charlie?'_ This time it was Miles who was doing the shouting.

She looked at her mother and then back to Miles with confusion. And then she turned to Bass in amazement, who did not look her in the eyes. It finally dawned at her. It was Bass himself that had told Miles.

' _You knew?'_  The sound of Miles' voice border lined rough. Charlie bit her lip. What she had been so very afraid of, was happening right in front of her.

' _Do you know how impossible this was? Finding out what happened after all those times mom had been tearing me apart for bringing him back with me to Willoughby? Knowing you did not know they shared that night?'_  The memories of finding out herself hunted her again.

' _What do you mean, shared that night? This son of a bitch forced her,'_ Miles was shouting again, looking at Bass like he was ready to punch him again.

Charlie felt how Bass took one step closer to her. His voice deep and strong when he spoke.

' _Hey, don't do this to her. She has been through more of her fair share . Give me hell, be pissed at me, be pissed at Rachel. But don't put this on Charlie. This has been hard enough on her already.'_

 _S_ he had never ever heard Bass talk about her like this before, she never ever heard Bass defend her. It was unexpected, but she couldn't push away how very good it felt to know he stood close to her.

' _You don't take one step closer to Charlie,'_ Rachel's voice was filled with warning.

' _Back of mom,'_ She had said it before she realised it, an equal warning in her voice.

Miles shook his head, taking a sharp breath when Charlie started to talk again.

'Mom, how could you do this? I know there is so much history between you and Bass, but you can't do this. You can not turn him into a rapist, when you damn well know yourself that night was not forced. He made his fair share of mistakes, believe me, I agree, but you are not perfect either.'

' _So now it is Bass, huh? What happened to Monroe, Charlie?'_

Charlie felt how all the energy drained from her body, she let her head hang, her chin almost against her chest. She was so tired of this.

' _I, I can't do this anymore mom. I can't.'_

She just did not know how to respond anymore, feeling powerless. So, now they were here again, her mother focussing on her, instead of her own actions.

Miles looked absolutely stunned, his eyes fixed on Rachel, ignoring her last question.

' _Rachel?'_

He watched how Rachel fiddled with a lock of her hair nervously, but refused to talk to him.

' _Miles, he did not force her. You have to believe him. I believe him, and after everything we have been through, , that should tell you something.'_ Charlie tried to find Miles' eyes.

' _Charlie, you don't need to do this,'_ it was Bass voice that made her finally say what she had wanted to for a very long time.

' _Yes, I do. You want to know why?'_

Her eyes found finally found his for a moment.

'  _Because I have been rooting for you, for you and Miles, for the both of you, for so long now. I know I never told you. Do you know how special it is to have somebody you can call your friend, your family, who has walked next to you along the road, who has known you for decades? Who knows what is was like growing up together, who knows your best and your worse?'_

A small sob escaped from deep within her, something she did not try to push away anymore when she looked at Miles with tears in her eyes.

' _Yes, he slept with her, she slept with him, but Miles, you are not exactly having the moral high ground here. I love you, I want you to be happy and I have never been in your way when it came to you and my mom, but we both know she was married before. But I have been rooting for you, because as hard you might want to deny it, you and Bass are family. I first thought it was about the whole we are brother in arms together thing, but it's more. And I'm aware of the damage, of mistakes from both of you that can never be changed. But at the end of the day, he is your family.'_

_'Bass is your family. And you are his.'_

She was almost out of breath when she was finished. Finally the words she had been holding inside of her were free, were out in the open.

She took one step closer to Bass and looked at his face. Blood, cuts, bruises. Tears clouding his wide and normally so very blue eyes.

' _I am sure you guys have a lot to talk about,'_  she looked at Miles and an almost hysterical looking Rachel for a moment before she focussed on Bass again.

' _You come with me, I need to look at those wounds,'_ Charlie did not care about Miles or her mother's reactions right now. Ignoring their stunned faces she turned around to walk away from them, but not before Charlie was sure Bass walked away with her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think a lot of you already felt this was going to happen, it was in the air for a very long time, it had to happen. Lot's of emotions this chapter! Thank you for reading! You are awesome, I love that you all still follow the story! Until the next chapter...ciao! Love from Love


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you again for your kind & amazing reviews, I adore reading them. It's so nice to see you are still following and appreciating the story. So, without delay, here is chapter 20... :) Sorry for any mistakes in the chapter, it has been a long one to write, so please forgive me! :)  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Revolution, just a daydream about what could have happened too :)

Bass had walked next to Charlie in silence all the way back to her apartment. For her to believe him about not forcing Rachel into anything was one thing. Hearing her voice and words with fierce determination, standing between him and Miles, that she had been rooting for them all along, that she had seen they were family between all the hell and chaos, was almost way to fucking much. No strike that, it was too much.

This was the woman that defended her family, even if it meant jumping between a gun and the people she loved. This was the woman who had wanted him dead, who had walked across the map on her own to track him down and kill him. This was the woman who he travelled with, many weeks on the road, him and her, in a silent tensed agreement to get back to Miles. This was the strong, infuriating and stubborn woman he fought next to. The woman he had fought for without ever admitting it to anybody, the woman he came back for, the woman he always looked for and found with his eyes. Everywhere, anytime, through all of it.

And now, apparently, she was the woman that stood up for him, that stood up for Miles. The woman that would crash with Rachel over and over again to stand up for what she believed in.

Bass had to control himself with everything he had, not wanting to let this situation go to hell, when things were already there at that point, when instead of listening to her daughter, Rachel decided to focus on something else _._ Instead of looking at her own part in all of this, at her share in her and Charlie's relationship he watched her not take this change to set things straight. Hell,  _he_  had heard Charlie's pain seeping through her every word, seeping through her voice.

He had seen it for the first time in the tower, where he actually had to remind Rachel Charlie was still out there too, that Charlie was still there, right in front of her. Her child. He had seen it again between Charlie and Rachel in the old Mill, when Rachel had walked in. Her voice harsh at Charlie, without even truly hearing her words.

 _He's here to help._ He had replayed Charlie's words in his mind again more times than he could remember. It was the force in her voice, when she had walked beside him, standing next to Miles, between him and Rachel that had reached him through anything.

Charlie watched Bass, while she threw her keys on the table and got out of her jacket. Her eyes fixed on the cuts near his lips and eyes.

' _Bathroom'_  she nodded at the room behind her. She always kept some basic supplies she got from her grandfather in the small bathroom for emergencies. Her uncle beating the hell out of Bass apparently being one of them today.

' _Charlie, damn it, I am fine, you don't...'_

' _Bass, don't be such a big man child like Miles. Remember those pretty red lines on his arm from the infection? Just let me take a look at those.'_

Blue battled blue. Bass grunted something under his breath while he walked past her.

Bass sat on the side of the bathtub. Legs wide, boots firmly on the floor, hands going through his hair. Charlie stood between his legs, getting him out his jacket, checking the wounds on his face with a quick look.

She could see so much in his eyes at this moment, that it was almost too much to take in. And when he dropped his head , she took a little step closer to him. His head found a place against her chest, she could feel his breath through the fabric of her top.

Once, she had indeed wanted to see him hurt. Hurt to repay her hurt, caused by his whole damn Militia. Now he was sitting in front of her, more vulnerable then she had ever seen him before with her, it made her only want to wrap her fingers through his messy curls.

After giving him room to just be, she started to work on his injuries. She cleaned and took care of the wounds in his face. Then she looked at his chest, there had been something about the way he had sat down that had startled her before. Bass' eyes finally found hers.

' _Ribs, probably just bruised. Not broken.'_  It was a deep grunt.

She nodded at him. After Charlie had been content with her work they found themselves back in the living room.

Charlie decided it was time to open the bottle of whiskey he had brought her earlier. Bass leaned against the window frame, Charlie leaned against the side of her couch. Charlie had felt the alcohol burn at the back of her throat, and now the bottle had ended up in Bass' hands. They both took turns, exchanging the bottle, not even bothered about glasses. Charlie preferred it this way. This was the way she always drank with him, since they shared a bottle for the first time on the road, about 4 weeks from Willoughby.

They could fight alongside each other, they were amazing on her kitchen table or in against his front door or bed together. They were able to have complete conversations with just their eyes. Charlie had thought about that before, and she realised it was a bitter necessity. They hardly talked to each other, so they had created a language on their own.

But today, they both knew that their eyes could not do all of the talking.

' _Why did you to it? '_ her voice was soft but not without determination. She had to know.

Bass fiddled with the bottle in his hands.

' _I know how much you care about Miles, Charlie. Just didn't feel right anymore to put you in the middle of our screwed up past.'_ She noticed the familiar tension in his jaws, his lips pressed together in a small line.

' _I hated seeing you back in the camp when you just found out about that night. Fuck Charlie, having to see you look like hell in front of that fire when Aaron talked to us. Realising Neville put his gun at your head while I was out there having a nice hate talk with your mother, when I should have,_

His eyes lit up with rage for a moment, preventing him from finishing his sentence.

' _I hated how it ripped you the hell apart. Hated how you had to keep this away from Miles.'_ His voice sounded on edge, the muscles in his arms hardening.

Charlie needed a moment to let his words sink in before she could spoke again.

' _Damn Bass, it was so incredibly impossible standing there, when I had just walked away from Neville. After Austin. Listening to your words, listening to her words, listening and slowly understanding what happened in Philly. Realising she slept with you and tore me apart from daring to bring you back to help us fight those patriots.'_

She had to take a breath.

' _Hearing her talk about what is right over and over again from that moment on, not being able to tell Miles anything, watch how she was tearing you and Miles apart. I could not do anything, too afraid I would blow up our group from the inside.'_

Bass' first instinct was to pull her close to his chest, but there was something happening between them here, that was so raw, so new. It made him feel like he was glued to the window frame next to him.

' _Damn it Charlie. I 'm sorry for all this mess,'_ His voice low, shaking his head. Bass thought he realised how it had been for her all this time, but watching her face when she actually spoke the words, ripped him apart.

He had expected more anger and fury from her, but when he heard Charlie's voice again it was filled with something that was exactly the opposite.

' _I know how much Miles means to you. I know this could not have been easy for you. I meant everything I said earlier. I am rooting for you, for a chance for the both of you to be brothers again.'_

' _Miles will see the truth, he cares about you Bass, I am so sure of that.'_

She watched how Bass eyes turned to his drink again. She got up from the couch, and slowly walked over to him. Her fingers going over his hand that was wrapped around the bottle, like she had done the day at the camp when she walked up to him, letting him know Miles was going to be fine.

' _Thank you, Bass.'_ Her voice was a whisper, but when she spoke again it was stronger. It had her strength in it.

' _Not only for this. You did so much good, good for me. So thank you.'_  She waited for him to find her. He finally returned her look with his. He did not say anything but Charlie saw everything there. Gratitude, a wall disappearing between them. The smallest of nods from Bass. His thumb caressing her cheek and following her jaw line lightly.

The sun had started to set, deep colours filling the sky, orange, red, deep blue, pink, the last light of the day finding its way in. They just stood there, sharing a bottle, taking turns drinking.

When it was almost completely dark, Charlie lighted some candles, and made a fire that lit up the whole room. Charlie realised they had never talked like this. They never talked like this to each other.

She could feel the small shift in him when he spoke again. She knew what was lingering between them, she knew what had to be brought in the open as well _. Another_  night, not in Philly this time. Another night in Vegas.

Her back was turned towards him when she heard his low voice.

' _Why did you do it?'_

_Connor._

She stared into the fire and for a moment she could see Connor's eyes again. Even when she had been with Connor there was something screaming inside of her that it were the wrong set of eyes, with the wrong colour, that is was the wrong mouth, that is was the wrong touch, that it was not the right voice close to her ear. It was not the body she had wanted to feel against hers.

She could feel the regret washing over her again, her throat closing, when she had to let in feelings she had been pushing away, because she had thought they would not matter anymore, ever. How hard this might be, she knew she could only tell him the truth, like he had told her the truth. Like he had told Miles the truth, risking everything.

Truth was she had betrayed her feelings for Bass that night in Vegas, she had betrayed him, when she ended up in Vegas, acting on an impulse.

' _You were getting too close, Bass. Things changed when I got on the road with you after Portsboro.'_

Bass felt a hint of rage with the memory of those assholes touching her. Charlie turned his way slowly.

' _You were the guy I blamed for so much, for so long. You could not change into somebody or something else. But when you saved my life, things changed. You were not the man I thought you were going to be. I had to change my whole perspective on the world. Realising things were not as black and white as I perceived them. And when I walked into Vegas for the second time, this time with you, you probably don't remember, but you touched my arm with yours for just a moment. And I realised I didn't want to push you the hell away. I did not understand.'_

She watched Bass face turn into astonishment. His eyes wide, his lips slightly parted. The bottle brushing against his tigh.

' _But then you left with Duncan, I found myself outside that tent in no time, walking around with Connor when you were,'_  Bass watched her pause, _negotiating your way through the night with her. And then, well, you know what happened then.'_

' _You screwed my son, Charlie.'_ A crude tone in his voice.

Charlie did not look away from him when he had threw those words in her face. She understood. She understood because it had been exactly what she felt when she thought about what happened in Philly.

She finally realised it was the exact feeling she had tried to push away since she found out about Philly. It was not only the pure anger at her mother for the utter denial for what happened in her past, but there had always been hurt. There had been  _More._  She understood now. More than ever.

' _I did, Bass. I did. I did the one thing that I knew for sure would push you away from me.'_

She swallowed hard, thinking back about that hurt look on his face when he had found them and she had walked his way. The lines in his face, now he was standing not too far away from her, were deep and harsh.

' _The moment I sat in front of you in that bar, discussing how we were going to rob Gould, I knew I had made a mistake. I could see it in your eyes Bass. I...'_  Her voice broke, although she was desperately trying to keep things together _. 'I knew there was no turning back from that one.'_

' _I am sorry.'_ She spoke every word slowly, the taste of tears somewhere in the back of her throat.

She covered her mouth with her hand for a second when she cried. She did not move.

' _Bass, I am so sorry.'_

She repeated the words over and over in her head.  _I am sorry. So sorry._

She had no idea how long they stood there, how long she had been repeating the words in her head. But she could see Bass closing the distance between them through her tears. She felt his hand wrapped around the back of her head to pull her close. She felt his chest against her cheek when he pulled her even closer, his chin resting on her head. His strong and hard arms around her, his hand around the back of her head, the other under her shoulder blades. She didn't care anymore if he saw her like this, if he saw her crying.

And when he was close, the smell of his skin so close to her, his scent, his arms, his body,  _Bass,_  she finally had the courage to tilt her head and let her eyes meet his. She finally found the courage to say what she had wanted to say for so long, without even truly knowing it.

' _I wanted you.'_

Charlie noticed how his eyes filled flilled with emotions Charlie never saw before. His whole face changed in front of her in a way that made it difficult to breath.

' _I want you, Bass.'_

He put her chin in his hand, tilting her head a little bit more, so she was close enough to feel her breath on his face. Her words kept echoing in his ears, he needed time to realise what the fuck she had just said. Charlotte Matheson wanted him. The images of finding her and Connor by that fire in Vegas slowly evaporated from his mind. Leaving only Charlie behind. Leaving only her in front of him.

 _'Charlie, listen to me, I did not sleep with Duncan.'_ He could see in her eyes what those words meant to her. Charlie felt a strange form of relieve wihtin her.

' _And no matter what the hell happened in Vegas, I should never talked to you the way I did on our way back.'_

' _Damn it, Charlie, I want you, I have been wanting you for one hell of a long time now.'_ His voice deep and low, but in a way Charlie never heard before.

Charlie took in his words, and felt something opening up in her chest. She stood on her toes, reachedout for him and softly pressed a kiss against his left cheek, her lips touching his skin and the little hairs of his beard.

Bass almost winced when she kissed him the way she had done. It was such an intimate gesture, something he had not experienced in such a long time, that it completely threw him of balance. Charlie kissed him again, on the same spot, caressing the skin of his other cheek with her right hand. This time he had to fight tears that were ambushing him. He lost the fight.

Charlie pulled him closer, and when Bass lifted her from the floor in his arms, he buried his head in the little crook of his neck. Charlie held him with all she had, feeling his tears on her skin. Her lips close to his ear.

' _You have me, bass. All of me.'_

Both of them slept in their clothes that night. They had not planned it this way, their tight embrace in front of the fire place turned into light kisses. Charlie's lips kissed salty tears from his skin, Bass touching her tears away with his thumb.

Tears turned into something else, turned into the warmth of the room around them, the warmth of the rest of the bottle of whiskey at the back of their throats, the warmth of their bodies close, skin finding skin, touching each other when they wanted to, taking all the time they never had before together. Just them on a couch, until they both had fallen asleep,close.Charlie close to his chest, Bass' arm around her where it seemed to belong.

Charlie woke up , warm morning light from the sun streaming through the windows. Bass' arm was still around her, her hand had found its way halfway under the fabric of his shirt and was resting somewhere on his waist. The last twenty four hours had been an absolute emotional rollercoaster. It was high and low, it was letting go of so much she stuffed away too deep, too long. It was raw and rough and honest and sincere. And now in the morning light it was only Bass.

When Bass woke up he could see Charlie's skin bathing in soft morning light, he could feel her hair against the scruff of his beard.  _She wanted him._ Against all odds, she was here, still here, wanting him. _  
_

She looked up at him, and her eyes were soft, reaching out for him. He knew he couldn't walk out of this anymore,  _hell,_  walking out on Charlie had never been a real choice, he always found himself gravitating towards her. Right now, she was here, she was with him. His mouth found hers before his mind could catch up. The kiss started slow, but with an intensity that made him hard already. Last night had been about so much more than sex, but now, he wanted her, he needed her. All of her.

Charlie answered his kiss, deepening it by turning his way, a soft moan escaping from under her breath. She moved her body with the single thought that she wanted to be even closer to him than she ever wanted to before. Not because of sheer lust, but because she wanted more. She wanted him. All of him.

Their movements were slow, and when Bass started to get her out of her shirt they took all the time they wanted for each other until it was skin to skin. Charlie sat on his lap, her favourite new place she had decided quickly with a smile, his hands stroking her bare shoulders and back. Fingers going from her shoulders to her hands, and gently finding their way back. Back to her neck, back to her hair, giving her goose bumps, making him smile against her lips when he noticed.

Bass moved his lips from hers to her cheek, to her neck and finally to the curves of her breasts. Grunting when he could feel her nipples hardening between his lips.

She could feel Bass' hardness slide casually between her legs, her wetness on his smooth skin. Charlie rubbed herself slowly over his cock, enjoying the sensation, desire for wanting him inside of her.

Bass had watched Charlie, he took her in as much as he knew how too, when he saw the need in her eyes that he recognised as his own. He put his hands on her hips, tilting her a little bit and guided his cock into her with one fluid thrust that made Charlie moan throughout the whole of his movement.

When he filled her completely, Charlie could feel his balls against her skin, causing her to become even wetter around his cock. Causing her to moan his name.

He stopped for a moment, before they both started to move again. Skin, kisses, grunts, teeth, little teasing bites, all the time in the world. Thrust after thrust, Charlie tried to pull him in deeper, Bass wanted to fill her with all of him. They moved towards each other with every thrust.

Charlie placed her hands around his cheeks, the hairs on his face touching the inside of her hands. Bass had his arms entangled around her body, grunting, sweat gliding down their bodies like little rain drops.

And when Charlie looked into his eyes, right before she lost all control, right before she would let go of the build up in her core, the room was completely light, the night had passed and left the two of them together.

Bass watched her expression, watched the pure surrender in his arms when he felt how she came. Came with an intensity that made him disappear completely in her. Came when she cried out his name with an intensity he never heard before from her. Her tight and warm walls clenched around his cock with a force that milked him almost dry at the spot. He slowed down with all his willpower and she collapsed in his arms. And when he closed his arms around her even more, sheltering her from everything else that was not them, he could feel she was trembling.

He took her head in his hands, cupping her cheeks. He could see the faint glimmer of tears in her eyes.

' _Charlie, are you okay?'_

' _I am Bass.'_

Bass watched her when she gave him a fucking stunning smile.

' _I am, with you.'_

Charlie realised it was the truth. For the very time in a long time, she was okay. With him.

Bass felt how Charlie slowly shifted her hips, and he could feel how his cock went from within her to the warmth of her hand. She still straddled him though. Her soft breasts and hard nipples pressed to his chest. Her tongue playing with his.

Charlie slowly started to move her fingers around Bass'cock, stroking him, hard and throbbing in her hands. This time she watched him. He enjoyed every part of it. But when he saw how her fingers were locked around his cock and other fingers were teasing his balls, he was not able to last one damn second longer, a deep jerk in his balls, thrusting and moving his dick in her hands without coordination.

' _Fuck Charlotte, I am close.'_

She picked up the pace and felt how he buckled himself against her hand. She threw her arm around him, her fingers ending up in his hair, never letting go of his eyes. One of his hands rested against the back of her head, his fingers entangled in her hair. Bass' other hand moved around the hand she had wrapped around his balls.

With one more intense stroke she put him over the edge.

' _Charlotte,'_  it was a deep grunt, before he had to close his eyes, and tilted his head all the way back to the back of the couch while he came, came in her hand. His warm cum flowing all over her hand.

They both sat there, out of breath, panting, forehead leaned against forehead. Bodies slick with sweat curled up in one another.

She felt how the sun kissed her skin, warm through the glass of the windows _. They had made it his far_ ,  _they had made it through this night. Maybe, just maybe_ , Charlie thought,  _the road before them could take the both of them even further._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everyone, I truly hope you liked this chapter. Sorry it took a little bit longer as normal to update and publish this story, but sometimes...life happens! And it was a very long chapter to write. I hope to update another chapter soon and as always,I adore your thoughts and feedback about the story! Until the next chapter..Love from Love!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thank you, with a smile, for all your kind &amazing reviews, for my last chapter, when Charlie and Bass got closer than ever. It was a joy to write.

Bass gestured to the guy behind the bar he needed a refill.

It had been almost a month since the night Charlie had surrendered herself in his arms and he found herself in hers on her couch. Almost a month to the day where some things were finally in the open, almost of month to the night they were able to ask each other the hard questions that had to be asked. It had been the day he heard the words he never thought he would hear from Charlie. She had wanted him, he had her, all of her.

There had been more hunger, more lust, more want and need for each other. Of course there had also been more of the past that came back to haunt them in memories and nightmares. There had been friendly and not so friendly bantering, some heated discussions and accusations about his huge ego and her infuriating stubbornness but intense make up sex was never far behind. To be honest, there was no other version of Charlie he wanted more. And  _hell_ , make up sex with Charlie was something he never would object to. Any kind of sex with her was something he never would object to for that matter.

It had been a slow night at the little town bar, and he was just about to call it a night when he heard how somebody walked into the bar and sat down on the barstool next to him. Bass didn't have to look to know who it was. He would know him anywhere, he would recognise that step everywhere. After decades of brotherhood, he doubted that would ever change.  _Miles._

' _I'll have one of whatever this moron is drinking,'_ Miles nodded in Bass' direction.

They had not been speaking to each other, other than on their days at work. It was strictly business between them. Bass had not been sure what to make off it. He had expected Miles to go for another round of beating the crap out of him, but there had been something about his brother's behaviour that had been unexpected.

Miles had watched Bass through the open doors before he had the balls to actually walk in. He knew Bass well enough to know where to find him at this time of the day. The bar was always a good guess although lately, he hadn't seen that much of Bass in here late at night. Yeah, his brother and the ladies. Some things would never change.

It had been weeks since their fight in his backyard. Weeks since Bass had told him about whatever the hell had happened in Philly. First there had been complete and utter rage, there had been punches and a deep desire to kill him, but when Charlie had walked in the anger had slowly lost it to her honest words. The anger had lost it slowly to the complete devastation on Bass' face when they stood in front of each other, both their faces to hell and burning with cuts and quickly forming bruises. The anger had slowly lost it to something on Rachel's face he could not place yet but that had made him doubt her accusations about Bass forcing her that night.

Miles knew Charlie's perspective on Bass had indeed changed, he had seen it happening from the moment she had offered to break him out of the jail cell right before his fake execution. He just did not realise her feelings were this strong. Then again, this was his stubborn niece. She fought for what she believed in. And apparently she believed in Bass when it came to this. Not that be blamed her. He could strangle Bass from times to times, what the hell, most of the time, but he was and always would stay his brother.

After Charlie had left him and Rachel behind, he had stared at the wooden logs in front of him for a long time. The loathing between Rachel and Bass was visible, even to him. It had felt too damn personal. The thought of her with his best friend made him want a drink his way through a bottle. Or two. Neither he or Rachel got any sleep that night.

There had been silence. Avoidance. Yelling. More silence. Accusations. And finally the truth.

The truth about that night, a night she wished she could take back. Miles could see her finally break in front of him, her back almost turned to him, but a the part of her face he could see was tensed, leaving deep lines behind in her face. Her hand had been nervously going through a lock of her hair.

It had almost been sunset when she finally was able to admit that no matter what damage had Bass caused, and hell, what damage he himself caused her for that matter too, it had been a night with both of their consent. He couldn't believe she would go this far, accusing Bass of rape, when she had a part in this too.

It had been a rocky couple of weeks since then. He had spoken to Charlie every now and then, although he had always made sure she had been okay. He knew they had to talk, he just wished it wasn't so damn hard. He knew her and Rachel hadn't shared any words since that day everything went to complete chaos.

He knew Charlie had been right. The echo of her words about Ben and his relationship with Rachel had been going through the back of his mind the last few weeks. Their start was one of stealing time together, of motel rooms, when there should have been loyalty to Ben. He had been a coward. And here they were, still a messed up pair, but damn, he loved Rachel. He just didn't know how to work the hell through this.

So after the truth, there had been more silence. Miles knew he had to go talk to Bass, but the Matheson stubbornness had gotten in the way. But tonight, he found himself walking into the bar instead of passing it on his way. Tonight he sat next to Bass in bar, like they had done countless times before throughout the years.

'  _Well, this is not awkward at all,'_ Miles looked straight ahead, drink in his hands.

' _You're not wrong about that.'_ Bass' voice was deep.

Bass took another shot. His lips pressed in a thin line afterwards. More silence.

' _It should have never happened Miles.'_

He turned and watched Miles. He was still looking straight ahead, eyes fixed on the assortment of bottles at the shelves in front of him, at the other side of the bar.

' _Miles, I'm sorry man.'_  Emotions were clearly running through his voice. He pulled his hand over his face. Pulled his hand through his dark curls. Bass realised that he said everything he could have said the last time he saw Miles. Regret was what left behind.

' _I know Bass.'_ Miles glanced at him for a second.  _'I know.'_ It was the truth.

' _Rachel finally told me the what really happened. Although I might have realised before, when she was standing out there on the porch.'_

Bass had expected a lot of things, but this was the very last one. Neither of the two man wanted to discuss the details of that night for their own reasons. But for Miles to believe him, to sit here next to him, giving him a change, meant more to him than he ever could express in words.

' _Think after what Charlie said, Rachel finally realised there was no other option then the truth. That, or losing her.'_ There was a sad undertone in Miles' voice.

He had seen it before, the tension and conflict between Rachel and Charlie. He still cursed himself for letting her go when she walked out of Willoughby after he had watched her spending months trying desperately to reach her mother, to reach her and tell her she was still here, when he had brought them back to Gene. Rachel had been too far gone to reach out, consumed in her own world of grieve and guilt.

' _That girl is one hell of force to be reckoned with.'_ A fond smile formed around his lips, when Miles talked and thought about Charlie.  _'Still a total pain in the ass though,'_ he added with his trademark sarcasm.

' _And again, you are not wrong about that one either,'_  Bass felt a smile creeping around his mouth. Wishing Miles would not read too much in it.

Miles  _did_  notice, and he knew Bass would never let it show, but he knew Bass had developed some bound with his niece. He had known that she was save with him not long after she had come back with him, or else he would never had let her go with team Monroe to Vegas.

He also knew that Charlie was one of the few persons who never kept her opinion for herself when it came to Bass, she had never been afraid to be in his face. Somehow his brother had accepted that. He knew Rachel hated every part of it, but he never had doubted Charlie's safety when it came to Bass. Bass still had a dark side those months on the road, but he never lashed out at Charlie, no matter what. Miles knew that.

His thoughts went back to the night when he had shut Bass' out, neutralising the mustard gas with Rachel, double crossing his brother. Listening to Charlie's world that Bass had indeed came through for her. Finding out what she had to go through in that bar with those monsters still made him fill with rage.

Miles still stood behind his choice that he had to stop Bass' dark intentions, but he was ready to admit to himself now that it might have been personal crap that had fuelled his actions that night.

More words needed to be said.

' _Charlie seems to have a strong opinion about you, Bass. Back at that abandoned gas station with that whole mustard gas crap she had your back. I still think you went too far there Bass, but you were right. I let the personal crap come between us.'_

This time Bass stared at a point across from him. He remembered the darkness that drove him to want to destroy a whole town, but he also remembered how damn much it had hurt for his brother to betray him like that. Even though he understood now why Miles had to stop him. He could see a flash of Rachel's face in the doorway behind Miles, the look on her face still made his blood boil. He had known it had been personal, but there was no way in hell it had been the time to talk to Miles and tell him why. It had tore him apart to walk away from Charlie, he had not been able to look at her.

' _I did not make the right call there.'_  Miles paused, staring at his drink in his hand _, 'It shouldn't have happened.'_ He finished his drink.

'  _I'm Sorry.'_

Bass could only nod. Some other darkness had been lifted, while he had listened to his brothers words. He had to swallow something away in his throat that was not even there. Both man took another gulp from their whiskey.

When the bartender filled his glass for the third time, Miles exchanged a look with Bass and waved his hand at the bartender.

' _Oh what the hell, just leave the whole bottle.'_

One look from Miles told Bass enough. The tone in Miles voice told him enough. There was a chance they would find a way through this giant mess. So they sat there, although they did not talk very much.

Two old friends, two brothers. Dark hair, blonde curls. Side by side. So very different, so very much the same, their lives so very intertwined. Like it had always been.

They shared the whiskey. And there was one thought pounding through the rest that warmed Bass more than the whole bottle of whiskey in front of him ever could.

_He might have not lost his brother after all._

* * *

Charlie did not know how he managed to, but there was something about Bass that made her body spin and at the same time she felt more secure with him than ever when it was his skin on hers, when it was his tongue that battled with hers, when it was his hard body against the curves of hers.

She had not planned what happened next that night, she had never done this with any other man before. But it just happened.

Sharing a bottle had turned into one of their rituals, and tonight she had shared another bottle with Bass at his place when teasing looks had turned into teasing kisses, teasing hands everywhere and Bass dragging Charlie to his bedroom with a deep grunt that made Charlie smile against his lips.

He almost reached the bed, images were flashing through his head of a very naked Charlie under him, when Charlie stopped him and shoved him in a chair close to his bed with a firm push.

' _What the hell Charlie?'_ He grunted in surprise.

Charlie was leaning over him, her hands on each side of him, when they were resting on the armrests of the low chair. She was well aware that Bass had some troubles keeping his eyes from going to the curves of her breasts under her tank top.

' _Remember when you made one of your presumptuous remarks on the road?'_

' _I'm afraid you have to be more specific than that, Charlotte,'_ A smirk grin forming on his face. Charlie could not help but smile and still roll her eyes at him at the same time.

' _Couple of days before we raided that other patriot camp by that lake?'_  She raised an eyebrow at him.

There was a smirk on his face when Bass remembered what she was talking about. The memory of that night finding its way back to him.

_He had just taken a much needed dive in a nearby lake, to cool off after yet another frustrating discussion with Miles, Rachel and the old man over their course of action and get the sweat, dirt and blood from the past days of his skin. Apparently this was turning into some kind of twisted family trip to a messed up patriot Disneyworld. Fuck. In order to win this, it had to be him and Miles. Didn't his brother see they were losing?_

_He also had needed to jump into the cool water to get rid of some very inappropriate thoughts about Charlie when he had seen her fight her way through yet another day of fighting those kaki's son of bitches . Seemed like that was all he doing these days._

_Fighting them and fighting and shoving those thoughts about her out of his head._

_It was only a small camp this time, but the battle had been a hard one anyway. Fucking patriots messed with those kids mind, turning them into human weapons. But he knew they had no choice. When it was him or them, he would always chose whatever the hell had to happen to survive. To protect the things he cared about._

_To his surprise Charlie had followed him into those fights, no questions asked. Although they weren't on any speaking terms since Vegas, and things had changed, again, she seemed to silently agree with his decision. Although he knew Rachel had given her hell about it. It did not make her change her mind._

_His mind had been in complete battle mode, but he knew exactly when she had been close, what her position had been._

_It had been the first time he had seen her make her own decisions, not waiting for Miles, not listening to her bitch mother who had been whining about doing the right thing. He had seen Charlie slowly changing in front of him and damn, it made his respect for this girl grow by the day._

_Her willingness to fight, to never back down had been one hell of a turn on from day one. In her fighting style, in which he could see so much of Miles, but also so much of her, he slowly got to recognise a little bit of himself too. So she had not been wanting to listen to anything he might had to teach her, she obviously had been paying attention. He couldn't help but feel some pride._

_Her skin wet with sweat, adrenaline in her eyes, the fierce look of determination when she took on another patriot and come out a on top of things. It made him, on more than one occasion, want to slam into her with everything he had, his body filled with adrenaline, her curves under his body, the weight of her breasts in his hands, up to the point where she would scream his name from her lips. And when he had locked eyes with her, like they did so many times, it had started to feel almost natural, he wasn't sure if he did not see exactly that same desire in her eyes._

_They had run into each other, when he had gotten out of the lake that night, clear sky, stars above them, on his way back to camp. Drops of water still running over his chest and back, wet curls, his shirt in his hands, his pants low around his hips. He had seen her before she had seen him, and right before their eyes met, he had felt her eyes going over his chest for one quick second with something in her eyes that almost made his cock twist in his pants._

_He had always been pretty damn sure that he was very much the fuck alone in his forbidden want for her, but that second, that look in her eyes had made him doubt himself. That was however before he had told himself to get a damn grip. But he had not been able to resist to screw with her mind._

' _Like what you see Charlotte?' He had moved close to her personal place. 'Maybe something to think about when you have trouble sleeping tonight?' There was a deep mocking tone in his voice._

_He had watched how she crossed her arms before her chest, when her eyes pierced into his._

' _Go to hell Monroe,' he had watched her walk away from him just a little bit too fast, a grin spreading around his face._

The memory slowly faded. His grin had not.

' _What about that night Charlie?'_ Bass leaned into the chair. He watched Charlie when she came closes to his ear, wide blue eyes looking into his. He had to place his boots more firmly on the ground, when he let himself sink more into the chair. There was a lot of Charlie in the room all of a sudden. Fuck, he loved her like this, seeing this new side of her. There had not been a lot of woman who ever dared to play with him like this. When he tought of it, no woman ever did. 

' _I did think about you, that night. I thought about the water dripping from your chest, the bulge in your pants when you stood before me.'_

_Damn it, so she had noticed his hardening cock that night._

Charlie could remember him so very clear.

_Pale moonlight, rock hard abs, strong muscled arms, water dripping from his skin. His shirt in his hand. The intensity of his gaze, the challenge in his eyes. The line of hairs just above the waistband of his jeans. His erection clearly starting to show through his pants._

_It had only been a second when she had forced herself to look him in the eyes and throw all those thoughts about the smug bastard in front of her out of her mind, but apparently it had been enough for her mind to take in as much details as it could. It had awoken a deep lust inside of her she never felt before._

' _I thought about you, and it made me wet even before you walked back to camp. It wasn't the first time I thought about you that way when I let my fingers slide into my panties, but it was the most intense one. It made me think what it would be like to let my hand slide into your pants, touch you, stroke you, when I touched myself.'_

' _Hell Charlotte,'_ It were the only coherent words his mind would allow him, his throbbing and hard cock pushed against the inside of his pants. He had a clear image of her, fingers tucked inside of her, eyes closed, swollen red lips slightly parted, biting on her lip. The thought about Charlotte when she pictured him, when she had pictured how it would be to have his cock in her fist, their whole camp not far away from her when she touched herself until she came, made him almost come in his pants.

' _Show me,'_ his voice a deep grunt, his voice full of challenge.

' _Don't move,'_ Charlie whispered in his ear. She kissed him on his lips, slowly, ignoring his hands that were trying to touch something, anything that was hers. She pushed them away, pushed him back in the chair when she walked to the bed. She got rid of her clothing, piece by piece, more clothing on the floor, more bare skin for his eyes to explore. She walked back to the bed, and made herself comfortable. Close to him, but not close enough so he could actually touch her.

Without breaking eye contact she opened her legs a little bit, but teasingly slow. Bass eyes flashed from her eyes, to the curves of her breasts, the deep pink of her nipples, to the dark blonde curls in between her legs and back to her face. She could see the sheer lust in his eyes, and she could feel how her body reacted to that single look, her core wet, pulsing with the promise of his cock inside her later. Pulsing for what she was going to do for him now.

She started to touch herself. Charlie made soft circles with her fingers over her breasts, playing with her nipples. She felt her nipples between her fingers when she squeezed her own breasts in her hands. There was something highly erotic about realising that this time, he was not only on her mind when she touched herself, but sitting right in front of him.

Bass had watched her every move, and it had caused him to be achingly hard. If he couldn't touch her, he had to do something. He had tried to control himself, his fingers digging into the arm rests, but when Charlie's right hand went from her lips and tongue to the place between her fantastic breasts, down to her stomach and finally found her clit, he lost that resolution. He let his right hand glide into his pants

When Charlie saw how Bass grabbed his impressive cock under the fabric of his pants, she let out a deep moan, rubbing her clit, while she leaned back on her free hand. She watched him, she felt her own wetness and folds, as she started to moan in synch with her breathing. She spread her legs further, pulled up her knee a little, and without looking away from him, she slid two fingers deep inside of her. She could hear how Bass grunted something under his breath.

She was not sure what it was that made her come.

The idea that she had done this before, another night, leaning against a tree, a forbidden orgasm so close to Bass sitting in front of a fire not far from her. His teasing low voice that drove her wild still ringing in her ears.

The image of him in front of her right now, deep dark blue eyes, lust filled eyes that watched her like there was nothing more in this world to watch.

The sound of his deep growls coming from the back of his throat.

Or the idea that she never did this before, with anyone. She felt open and free, it was just him and her, and she could let go completely with him.

But when she came, her fingers slippery by her own wetness, the last image before she closed her eyes of Bass sitting wide legged in front of her with his hard cock in his hand, she moaned his name, she screamed his name when she felt herself tighten over and over again around her fingers.

'  _Fuck, Charlie, you are beautiful.'_ His voice was close to her ear all of a sudden. She had to lay back after her orgasm, her back touched the sheets. She heard him unbuckle his pants and the next feeling she experienced was of Bass on top of her, kissing her with passion, his hands exploring her body. She would never get tired of the sensation of his skin on hers, his weight all over her.

After Bass had watched her come on the bed before him, right out of his reach, it had almost made him come when he saw Charlie closing her eyes, her fingers going through her folds, her fingers deep inside of her. Without even touching her, she had let him in.

When she moaned his name and stroked herself through her orgasm there was only one thing on his mind.

Her. Close. Now.

Him. Inside of her. Now.

He needed to feel her around his cock. When he buried himself inside of her, thrusting through her wetness, he searched for her eyes. He put both of her arms over her head in one fluid movement and held her wrists in one hand when he started to pump inside of her with a force of raw need. His other hand free to dip his fingers into the soft curve of her hip, wanting her even closer with every deep thrust. He watched her. And somewhere between his thrusts, between his hard cock inside of her, he could hear her voice, panting, her voice hoarse.

' _I need you to come inside of me, Bass.'_

When he found her eyes, he found a look of reassurance telling him it would be okay. The thought of spilling himself deep inside of her, made it impossible to stop himself anymore.

' _Bass, come inside of me.'_  This time it was almost a raw whisper, combined with a deep moan.

Charlie knew there was no danger, she did the math even before she had walked to his place. The idea of him coming inside of her had turned her on even before she had walked through his front door. Right now, it was the only thing she craved. She felt how Bass lost control over his thrusts, slamming into her.

' _Charlotte,'_ her name coming from his lips in a deep grunt made her walls tightened around his cock, his head buried in her neck, when she felt his warm cum deep inside of her, while she came herself.

Charlie wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him even closer, their bodies moving as one, panting as one. Wishing they could just stay here, here in their little corner of the world were it was just them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to bring Miles and Bass closer in this chapter, I think their brotherhood really deserved that. Things needed to be said. And, there was a little flashback from Charlie and Bass. I wanted to play a little with all the Charloe tension on our TV screens, I am sure that at some point, they had some very intense thought about each other. Not that they would ever share that :) So, there was some nice tension between them, because, well, they are very passionate people. Thanks for reading, I will work on another chapter very soon! Until the next chapter..Love from Love


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your reviews. It means so much! I am so happy you liked the part where Bass and Miles reconnect.
> 
> I do not own Revolution, this is just a daydream about what could have happened too.

Charlie was almost home after an afternoon with Aaron, Priscilla and little Zoe who was able to lit up a room at only a couple of weeks old. The trust they had placed in her, plus the feeling of being an aunt and god mother made Charlie smile every time she spent time with the brand new family.

Key already in her hand, Charlie saw Mile standing close to her front door. Her guess was he might have been there a while. She felt something heavy landing on her shoulders and chest when she closed the distance between them.

The last couple of weeks had not been their easiest ones. After her outburst mid fight between Bass and her uncle she had not really talked to Miles anymore. She had not talked to her mother at all. She had tried so many times in the past, if felt like there was nothing left to try at this point.

She knew Miles had been around, as always, he was there for her when she would need him, but it was not the same.

She missed him, she hated that they were not on actual speaking terms but Charlie also felt that this had been in the air for so long. Too long. This was something they had to go through. And like all the battles they had to fight their way through the past years, she knew there was only one way. There was no way around it.

Charlie slowed down and stood before Miles. Miles looked at the ground for one moment.

' _You have some time for your uncle, kid?'_

She nodded as she considered their options.

The worst thing she could do now was to place the two of them together at a table for a nice conversation. The thought of it made her almost chuckle. Not the best of ideas, she decided quickly. The both of them needed air and some solid ground under their feet for this one.

' _Walk with me?'_ Charlie asked.

And so they did. They walked in silence through the town and when they reached the town walls, it was just an afternoon on the road. Like they spent some many afternoons before. Neither of them had a destination in mind, both of them just wanted to walk together, and find a way in of whatever that needed to be said and would come next.

Miles watched Charlie, she was still very much the same but yet so different. Still stubborn as hell, jeans, tank, firm stride,  _never_ shutting the hell up and a talent for  _not_  limiting down the stupid.

But she had changed. She had changed so much that he wondered when the hell that had happened. Where his head had been. And immediately he cursed at himself in silence,  _you idiot_ , knowing too well what part of the answer was.  _Her mother._

Since the moment Charlie had stood up for Bass the first time, at the abandoned store the night following the mustard gas attack at their camp, he had wanted to talk to her. She had shut the door, too lost in all the emotions. So he gave her space.

Seeing her face, hearing the pain and, at the same time, the determination in her voice when she had let it all out and opened up on what had happened in Vegas and at that damn bar, had cut right through him. The idea of Charlie getting drugged and almost getting raped by a bunch of savages, without him there to protect her, had broken his heart.

The idea of what could have happened if Bass had not been there actually crushed it.

Months later, he had sent her with Bass and his kid to Vegas, but when they came back, he could feel something had happened. Instead of talking about it to her, he had taken her silence about it as a boundary he did not wanted to cross.

Miles realised right now, that he did not want this for her. The fact that his coping mechanism had been drinking his guilt, darkness and pain away for the better part of his life, did not mean Charlie should lock all her crap away and never let it out.

He had taught her to fight, taught her to stand strong, taught her to get up after she fell down and move one. He had taught her to navigate through this hell, and although Rachel gave him hell sometimes of turning her into him, of having to watch her turn into Bass, he always felt he needed to gave her a set of skills to fight in this world that was nothing like the world he grew up on. He knew how important that was to Charlie.

Out there, deep in battle there was no time for personal crap, it could cost you your life. He had taught her to never give the hell up but now it was time to teach her that she  _could_ open up. Open up to him, make her feel she did not have to carry all the load on her own. Try to unlock some of the darkness he had slowly seen creeping behind her eyes the day they got on the road. She did not have to do this alone.

The wind was going through tall grasses on their left, the golden sunlight going over it to gave it deep glow. They stopped at a little creek, sitting side by side with their backs against a large rock.

Wishing he could have a drink or two right now, Miles took a deep breath.

' _I am so sorry you got stuck in all our crap, Charlie. I'm sorry I lost my temper in front of you. Should never had happened.'_

Charlie could hear his pain through all of his words. His words were lacking his usual sarcasm, his tone serious. For a moment their eyes met, and Charlie nodded in acknowledgment. She knew he was sorry, she knew.

She took some time to gather her thoughts.

' _Miles, I understand that it could not have been easy for you, finding out, but yeah, it was a screaming mess after I found out about that night myself. I felt so torn. You always thought me to do whatever it takes to survive and win, but that time, after finding out about Philly, I did not know what to do. Telling you the truth could mean blowing up our group up from the inside, not telling you the truth meant keeping something from you.'_

Charlie had her eyes fixed on something in the distance now. This was turning out harder than she thought. It was just them, finally touching subjects that were left alone for a very long time.

' _Charlie, it's okay, This was not your mess. Whatever you felt like you had to do was okay. This is something between me and your mother.' 'And me and that moron.'_ He added with a hint of sarcasm.

Charlie had to bite her lip for a quick moment, to make sure she would not show the smallest of smiles when she heard how Miles talked about Bass. The way he had pronounced the word  _moron_ , showed her, he cared about him. Always had, always would.

' _It was so hard to stand my ground in the middle of all the history you guys have. Every time I turned a corner there was more to find out. There were more discoveries that had me losing my balance, but the chaos and battle around us gave me barely enough time to recover.'_

Miles could hear something break in her when she spoke about her own battle in between all the other shit.

' _I knew there was something more going on between him and her, I could see her tearing you away from Bass while you tried to give him a chance. Use her words as a blade, when I knew you wanted to make other decisions. Decisions that supported Monroe's.'_

Miles should not have been surprised at how well Charlie had been able to pick up those signals. Both Miles and Charlie were back at the night Truman and Neville had attacked their camp when Charlie had came back from Vegas, when Miles had let one of the patriot camp kids go instead of stopping him. Charlie had watched the way her mother had been talking to Miles, watched how she had lashed out at Bass, and saw Miles struggle afterwards with his choice after a verbal smack down from her mother.

She had never talked to Miles about it, but his face had told her enough. It was one of the first times she actually had understood were Bass came from, where she had understood his way of thinking with dealing with the patriot camps. She had struggled herself with this, but she knew it had to happen in order to have any change against the patriot massacres. It had not been long until she had joined Bass at the attack on one of their camps. Miles never confronted her about it.

' _When I found out they had been together, mom went straight for the defence, straight for letting me believe he had forced her. I am so tired of hearing how she doesn't own this. It happened, yes, but not because he forced her. Can she for once admit that she is not perfect either? That she is not always right? Instead of focussing on him all the time.'_

Miles heard her struggle when she chose her words. He heard the frustration in her voice.

'  _She told me the truth Charlie, after you left. It took us a whole night, but she told me the truth. Went to see Bass the other day and I told him. I believe him.'_

Charlie heard how a deep sigh escaped her body.

It warmed her from the inside knowing Miles had reached out to Bass. Bass had not told her yet, but she knew how much this meant to him. It gave her more space to breath when she realised Miles was finally able to see her mother's role in the dynamics of his relationship with Bass.

' _It's not that I don't love her Miles, she is my mother and I will always do so. But she has been giving me such a hard time after I came back, after I brought Bass back with me. She has made things so hard for me.'_

Her voice almost faded away, a wave of deep grieve washing over her.

'  _I never get to talk about the people I loved and lost. Because that is too difficult for her. Danny. Dad. Has she ever taken the time to really feel what all of this meant to me? I miss them so Miles, they are fading away, and I miss them with all I have.'_

Her last words turned into a sob, that shot right through Miles like a cold bullet.

' _I'm still here Miles, but sometimes I feel like I'm not anymore, not to her.'_

It were the words that finally caused her to break down.

He pulled her close to his chest and let her be. Miles hand gently stroked her hair when he cradled her when he felt how she was shaking in his arms, crying.

' _I know Kid, I know.'_ His voice was low.

He had no idea what to say right now, which words would help her, knowing damn well he had a part in all the things she had lost. So before he was able to speak again he held her close and let her cry.

' _I know I haven't been there as I should have been there for you, Charlie. And for that I hope you can forgive me. But I am here now. I will be here now.'_

He felt the dark pain of mourn and deep regret creeping through his chest. This time he would not drink this away, this time he promised her silently that he would turn that around and be there for her.

Her head was tucked under his chin, and he tried to make her feel as sheltered as he could.

Charlie could hear the wind in the trees above her when her tears slowly diminished. She could feel her body almost tingle from all the things that finally broke free. That she could finally share with whit Miles. She knew her uncle was not a man of endless words, but all of his words had reached her, had hit home.

She did not know how much time had passed when Miles started to talk again.

' _Charlie, I know this is not easy, but what the hell happened in that bar?'_

It was one of the questions that had been haunting him since he had found out.

Charlie could not look at Miles when the memories came back to her. Her voice was cautious at the start when she spoke. She knew that this was the time to tell him, tell him everything. She sat up straight again and pulled her legs up a little, and let her elbows rest on her knees. And started at the moment she had tracked Monroe down in Vegas.

Miles decided that whatever Charlie would tell him, he would shut the hell up and let her do the talking. But when he heard how Charlie reached the part where she had dared Bass to shoot her, when she walked away from him after Bass had mowed down that moron of a bounty hunter, he really felt like yelling at her. He didn't.

' _It was in Portsboro. I needed some food and rest and I stopped by this bar. I should have known it was trouble waiting to happen but it was already too late. I was getting dizzy, and these vultures were already circling around me.'_

Miles had to fight deep outrage with nausea when listened to her.

' _I fought them off with everything I had but there too many of them. The drugs were already pulling me under. If Bass hadn't stormed in and worked his way through them, I...'_

Charlie had to pause. The memory was slowly losing it's dark grip on her throughout time, the nightmares about it lessened.

But it was still hard to mention that night. She could feel Miles' large hand around the back of her head for a moment. She took another breath, straitened her shoulders.

' _He took care of me Miles. I tried to put an arrow, a bullet and a knife in him, threw as much in his face as I could, but still, he took care of me. Got me out of that town, stayed with me until I woke up. And I knew from that moment I owed him, I owed him my life, despite of everything that happened.'_

Charlie finally had the courage to look up in Miles' eyes. She knew it was not her fault, but she still felt some weird kind of shame when she thought about what those man had almost done to her. She was afraid she would see that reflected in Miles eyes. Like she was damaged goods.

But when she met his dark eyes, there was compassion and hurt for her hurt, she could see them clouding with tears.

' _I'm so sorry you had to go through that Charlie, so sorry.'_

He shook his head, his voice was deep and hoarse with emotions. They sat there in silence for a moment. Upper arms locked.

' _Remember when you asked if he came through for me, the day we kidnapped Davis?'_

_Portsboro. The high school where he had come back for her. Bass close to her in all of their fights, watching her back. His eyes finding hers throughout the day, any day, looks with meaning only known to them. Her dark panic attack. The afternoon they had to wait to see if the mustard gas had not ripped each and every one they loved away from them and his arm around her was literally her lifeline. Neville at the train._

Miles nodded, when his dark eyes rested on his niece.

' _I told you then that he was unpredictable. And it was the truth back then. But it was not the whole truth. He did come through for me Miles, he did. And not only those weeks on the road back to you guys. Not only that night in Portsboro. He came through for me more than once.'_

' _Although he still was a smug arrogant bastard with an ego the size of Texas.'_

' _Was?_ ' Miles smiled at his niece. She did not have to tell him but he had seen his niece and his brother. Things had changed. The fact that she was calling him Bass more and more in front of him, instead of the cold  _him_  or  _Monroe_  told him enough.

Charlie felt her heart go faster, when Miles asked her the question.

' _Yeah, well, still smug and arrogant at times, the bastard things not so much anymore.'_

They both laughed.

Miles was glad they had reached a place where they seemed to get along. He never told anyone of them, but Bass and Charlie were more alike at times than any one of them realised.

He knew his brother. Charlie was safe with him. He knew Charlie, she could handle him.

They alternated between sitting in silence and talking. When the sun eventually started to go down slowly they both got up.

' _So kid, when I told you to try and limit down the stupid when you left town, you thought I meant daring Bass to shoot you?'_

Charlie raised an eyebrow at him when she put her hands on her hips.

' _Didn't think it was stupid.'_

Miles had to turn his head away from Charlie before he almost busted out in laughter.

' _Beat him up with a with something sharp and heavy too.'_

Miles shoved Charlie with his shoulder when the only thing he could now was actually burst out in laughter. That and feel very sorry for Bass his sorry ass when he had a vivid image of of his niece, attacking the shit out of his brother. Charlie could hit. He thaught her that.

' _Stop messing around, Miles. Don't want to hurt you,'_ there was a mock threat tone in her voice.

Charlie wanted to shove Miles back but before she got the chance she felt his arms around her. Her head against his chest.

' _Are we okay, kid?'_ Charlie could hear the insecurity in his words that formed a lump in her throat.

' _We are Miles. We will always be.'_

For once, Miles did not push away his tears when he heard those words from Charlie. Words that meant more than he could ever say to this girl. Words that were more than he deserved. But here she was.

Charlie could feel he was crying, she could feel his tears on her skin. She held on to him.

When they walked back to town the sky around them was turning into pink, gold and deep red. The air around them was filled with the sounds of birds flying high in the sky, and crickets in the fields around them. When Miles slung an arm around Charlie's shoulders when the two of them walked back Charlie felt a connection with Miles she had not felt in a long time. It was actually even better than it ever was. It felt good.

And when Bass finished a day of gruesome paperwork and walked home to a bottle of whiskey and if he had some damn luck to a lot of Charlie and her warm and stunning body beside him in bed later, he saw them.

He saw the contours of the two people he knew so well. Dark eyes, next to blue ones. Brown hair next to blonde curls. Nothing less than affection in his brothers eyes, her head tilted back when she laughed. A lightness on both of their faces he had not seen in fucking forever.

He watched his brother with the woman he cared more for than she knew. He recognised something he hadn't seen in Miles for so long, for too long. It took him back decades in time, remembering what used to be, remembering his brother, remembering him, remember a fragment of home, remembering something he thought would be lost beyond everything, between all the fucking chaos and everything that got so out of control.

He watched them when they walked back into town. Talking. Smiling. Miles arm loosely around Charlie's shoulder. Charlie pushing Miles in the ribs with her eyes filled with challenge and a smile, that he hoped would never diminish, when Miles had said something she apparently objected to.

It stopped him cold in his tracks.

He would never forgive himself if he had a part in destroying something between Charlie and Miles. He felt how his jaws locked at that thought.

From the moment both Charlie and Miles had crash landed back in his life he never thought he would be standing here in this town. Looking at them. Feeling the way he did.

 _Hell_ , he had hoped they would find a way through all this mess.

But one look at the two of them in the distance told him they had. He let his hand go over the scruff of his beard. There was a heartfelt grin forming on his face when he watched them again for a moment, leaving them there for now, giving them room to be, before he started to walk back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, there was no face to face Charloe in this chapter. But I felt things needed to be said between Miles and Charlie too, just them, their bound, their healing. I hope I did not disappoint you guys. But Bass was there with Charlie, in her thoughts, in her words to Miles. Next chapter, there will be lots and lots of Charlie and Bass again, I promise! But for now, it is sunset in Willoughby, Miles and Charlie are walking into town with a smile on their faces and Bass not far behind wishing them well. :) That's not a bad place to leave them for this chapter, right? I will work on another chapter real soon! Until next chapter! Until then...ciao! Love from Love


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How amazing to hear from all of you that you liked the chapter with Miles and Charlie so much, thank you! I really wanted to give them last chapter, and it means a lot that you felt the same. So, a heartfelt thank you for your amazing reviews. I always adore hearing from you. Today the story continues with chapter 23, and as I promised you, the story continues with more Charloe. :)
> 
> Of course, I still do not own Revolution, just a daydream about what could have happened too..:)

When Bass opened the door he was struck by the image of a smiling Charlie, a red blush on her face, clear blue eyes.

It was late, so late he had doubted she would come over.

When he had watched Miles and Charlie walk into town earlier this day, he had walked straight home. He wanted to give them all the space he could give to them, but hell, when it had gotten late, and later, he really wished her soft skin and curves were under his hands. He wished he could bury his face in her hair, and fall asleep with her body wrapped around his, but not before he would have watched her fucking stunning face while she came in his arms.

He had poured himself another drink and had gone over some papers to keep himself busy from that very vivid image in his mind that made him hard without her even in the room. But her soft lips and the echo of Charlie moaning his name in his bed, did n't leave him the hell alone. Finally, a soft knock on the door had put him out of his misery.

When the door opened before her, she felt how his eyes almost saw straight through her, a look he could only give her and before she knew it, he had pulled her close. One arm rested on the small of her back, the other buried in her hair. His lips firm but gentle at the same time, on hers.

Charlie took in the deep scent that was Bass. She was so used to his teasing looks and remarks, their banter she had grown to like to so much, that she felt overwhelmed with the way Bass seemed to wrap himself around her this evening, before she just leaned into his embrace and gave in to his kiss.

' _Want a drink?'_  His low voice was close to her ear when he finally broke away from her mouth.

' _I am a Matheson, you know the answer to that one,'_ her tone drily.

And then Bass laughed, his laugh made something swirl inside her stomach. He nibbled at her ear lightly, and Charlie had to hold on to his shirt when a shiver went through her spine, before she shoved him away from her in a playful way.

She still really liked walking into his apartment, every time she got over to his place. Small fire, his jacket casually dropped over a chair or desk. Paperwork, whiskey. His swords always nearby.

She walked over to his couch and she curled up into one of the corners with a deep relaxing sigh that caught Bass by surprise for a moment. He had seen so much of Charlie that was still new to him, and this evening was no exception.

Bass joined her when he sat down at the other side of the couch, facing her, but still with some room between them, and she took a drink from his hands.

They were sitting close, the silence of the town that had long gone to sleep outside and the familiar sounds of the fire surrounding them. The days on the road with him felt like a long time ago, but she still liked the sounds of one close when she was close to him.

Charlie had no idea if it was really late of very early.

Miles had walked her home and of course, a drink had turned into dinner and dinner had turned into a couple of more drinks.

They had talked some more and completely lost track of time. She loved the fact that Miles did not seem to feel rushed. When she finally had said goodbye to a slightly drunk uncle, she knew she could do two things. Slide under the covers of her bed or slide under the covers of his bed and fall asleep on a very good human pillow. It was not a very difficult choice.

Bass watched her when Charlie talked about her day with Miles. Watched her when she talked about that damned afternoon when she had to find out about Philly. Watcher her when she talked about Portsboro. When she talked about her mother. Her struggle with her mother. The way she had been caught up in the huge fucking mess that was not even hers.

He was struck by the way Charlie sat on his couch, struck by the way she let him in, how she took down the wall around her, without even noticing herself, that he had been facing so long.

He would never thought they would reach a point where he would deserve that. Hell, he realised he forgot what it was like for anyone to confide in him the way she seemed to do now. He forgot what it was like.

But when he remembered it, it was like a punch in his gut. For a moment he could not look at her anymore, his lips pressed in a thin line and his eyes on the drink before him.

And somewhere in the back of his mind, it hit him. This was more than fucking great sex, more than their banter, more than exploring each other. He quickly shoved that though away and focussed on Charlie again.

He listened to her, he watched her, he watched her every expression with a deep concentrated gaze.

' _It's been so hard Bass. I have just no idea how to ever repair this with my mom. And all those time, I felt how the distance between me and Miles started to grow, and I just did not know...'_

Charlie tried to hide what she felt, when she quickly took another sip from her drink, but it was not lost on Bass that her voice broke.

' _Charlie, I know that guy like forever now. He can have some serious social skills disabilities.'_

' _But he cares about you. So much.'_

Bass watched how she stubbornly pushed tears away, and looked away from him for just a moment. His hand had moved onto the back of the couch and over to her, his thumb slowly going over her cheek.

' _Whatever the hell happens, never doubt that.'_ His voice was deep and low and Charlie felt tears and warmth at the same time. Finally her eyes found his and she leaned into his touch, his hand cupped her cheek.

She could not process it completely, but it was the first time she took comfort from him at the moment she would normally push everything and everyone away. This time he had connected with her in a way beyond words, with such a simple gesture as the rough skin of his hand on her cheek.

Later, when she told Bass about the point of her conversation with Miles , where his brother had told her to limit down the stupid , Bass tried to stop himself but he just fucking couldn't resist.

' _So, tell me something, you told him about how much you limited down the stupid. With me?'_ His tone was dark but Charlie could see the little lines by his eyes crinkle with amusement.

' _Yeah, Monroe,'_  she raised an eyebrow at him in challenge.  _'I also told him it was not stupid. Smashing into you was the best therapy this girl could ever get.'_

She tilted her back a little and leaned towards him, it was enough to harden him just with her looks.

' _Telling you to go to hell when you wanted to come back with me too, by the way.'_

' _Well, I have to admit Charlie, you can hit pretty good. You know, for a girl.'_

The truth was, it had hurt like hell when Charlie had trashed him into that fence after he had tried to kill of that son of a bounty hunter.

' _And I seem to remember the way you just could not help yourself and look at my lips, Charlotte. You know, in between all the hate and loathing.'_

Bass thought back to a Charlie on fire, when she had been in his face and told him exactly what she thought, even after he just saved her life, all ice and fire in her eyes. Her face was almost just as close as it was this time. But only this time, her eyes were filled with challenge and warmth at the same time.

' _You smug...'_

She launched at him but he was faster. He grabbed her wrists, pushed the back of her hands back against the couch and pinned her down between him and the couch, his knee in between her legs.

Charlie knew she would be lying to herself when she would tell herself she had not looked at his lips at that moment.

Bass knew he would be lying to himself if this was not exactly what he had wanted to do with her that time on the road.

Bass watched her with an expression that drove her wild. He leaned in and she could smell the whiskey on his breath. She expected him to kiss her, but his mouth moved on to her neck and ear.

' _Time for bed,'_  he growled into her ear.

Charlie wondered how his demanding voice, could irritate her beyond everything normally but made her body betray herself with a deep sensation when he talked to her like this right now.

Her hand disappeared in his when he pulled her off the couch. They did not speak, and did not touch each other in any other way, when they walked over to his bed in the other room. It was his eyes not letting go of hers. It was blue wrapped up in blue.

Bass slowly undressed her, but instead of getting rid of her top and jeans of her like he normally did with raw impatience, Charlie noticed that he took his time.

He took his time but never let go of her with his eyes. His blue eyes got darker and Charlie felt how her lips slowly parted. His stare made her core pool with want, with wetness and with an almost overwhelming need for all of this man before her.

This is not the first time they stood close like this, it happened many times before. So many times, Charlie had lost track. She never understood why they seemed to gravitate to each other the way they had always seemed to, right from the start.

They had found themselves like this, the air filled with a dense tension, eyes crashing into each other, many times since then. She wondered if Bass ever thought of doing the things he was doing to her right now, when they did, but somehow she knew the answer. She knew her own answer to that question.

She felt how the crisp night air around them touched her skin while he uncovered more of her. His fingers barely touched her skin, but it was enough to heighten all her senses.

When she stepped out of her panties, and his fingers skilfully opened her bra she ached for him. When he pulled his own shirt over his head she closed the distance between their bodies and pressed a warm kiss on his chest while his hands were still above his head. She kissed him again, this time on his hard stomach. He grunted under his breath when he got rid of his pants and kicked off his boots. When she wanted to move her mouth even lower on his stomach, Bass stopped her.

His movements stayed slow, his lips everywhere, his mouth trailing over her body. It almost pushed her over the edge already. Charlie felt how her the air locked in her lunges because she simply forgot how to breathe. It was like she was close to letting go but her body tensed and circled around that point. She reached a point where she felt dizzy. So she reminded herself to breathe, again.

It caused her to hold her breath and let it out eventually with a deep low gasp, that filled his bedroom, over and over again.

Bass heard the low sounds coming from her, he watched the desire in her eyes. But he also found something else there, it was desire, desire combined with surrender.

She had her eyes half closed and her body was gravitating towards his. He felt how her nipples brushed against his chest. Bass wrapped his hands in her hair and licked her lips. He wanted to taste and lick every part of her body.

Their tongues turned around each other when Charlie put her hands on his chest. She was not sure she could feel her legs anymore at this point, and she smiled when Bass placed her on his bed at the almost same moment. The softness of his sheets against her back, the hardness of his body against her breasts and stomach.

There was only one thing on her mind, one thing that Bass wanted too. He opened up her legs with his knees and felt how her warmth radiated towards him, how she opened up for him. He let the top of his dick glide through her folds. She was ready, he felt it, but more so, Bass could see it in Charlie's eyes.

When Charlie breathed out again this time, it was in the form of a sigh, a moan that broke the silence in the room again. A moan that met his deep growl when he let his hardness disappeared in her with one long and perfect thrust. His body was spread all over hers, she was wrapped under him, and Charlie felt the need to draw him in even closer.

His eyes were still on her, and stayed on her with every thrust. Bass felt how she pulsed around his him tightly. They found a rhythm, and got lost in it. Their bodies filled with heat, their skin covered in sweat. His name a whisper without sound on her lips, completely lost in the sheer desire, like she had to make up for all those times she had wanted to say his name.

Charlie forced herself to keep her eyes open, but she felt she was losing that battle when Bass found that perfect spot in her.

' _Bass,'_  it was a whisper through a soft moan before she had to close her eyes, and she felt how his mouth crashed on hers when she came, arching her back against him.

Bass watched her, he kissed her, he shielded her with his whole body until she came down from her orgasm. He watched her when he picked up the pace again, watched her when he let her name escape from his lips in a deep grunt.

He watched the incredible woman under him when with one last thrust he felt how he had to let go to. The moment he had to leave her warmth he felt Charlie's warm hand over his cock, her hand over his own. He came with deep growl, watching her, watch all of her.

Sated, they fell asleep. Charlie's head in the nook of his neck, his heart beat under her hand. Still wrapped up in each other, still entangled in each other.

When Bass woke up later that night, he felt her breathing against his skin, he watched her relaxed face, he watched how she had tangled her fingers around his to anchor herself.

He let her sleep, thinking back about all those times he had wanted to hold her, to shield her from all the fucked up things in this world.

_The afternoon he watched the terror and utter confusion in her eyes when those patriots went up in flames at the high school._

_Every fucking time had seen her get lost in a nightmare, only feet away from him._

_The moment they had found Miles on that golf course, more dead than alive, a desperately crying Charlotte holding him in her arms._

_That day in Vegas where the son of a bitch Gould had drove her back to his pathetic trailer, when all he could do was watch her, knowing damn well what Gould had in mind for her. When all he wanted to do was rip his throat out._

_The moment Miles had turned a corner in Austin, dragging Charlie along with him. The moment he had asked where Neville's kid was and the answer stood right in front of him. Her face full of damage, her top soaking in the man's blood he knew she cared about once, her eyes hollow. Eyes that normally looked at and through him, eyes that never backed the hell down, eyes that could not even look at him right now.. He did not have to ask any questions, he just knew. He had stood there, in complete shock for her. Knowing that something was broken in her, something that would never heal again completely. He knew. Knowing they had to leave the city the hell behind as fast as they could. Listening to Miles behind him in the back of the wagon trying to reach Charlie on their way back, a Charlie who had been completely silent the whole way. A dark turned in herself Charlie that almost broke him. He had to control himself with everything he had to climb in the back of the wagon, shove Miles away from her and just hold her. See her through it. Cast away the darkness that was spreading through her, a darkness that had started to spread through him many years ago._

He never was able to hold her at any of those moments, he had never been able to wrap her in his arms, to tell her he was there. Because he was, he had been, no matter in how many ways she had pushed him away. So he held her now, with everything he had.

* * *

Miles had his right hand on the hilt of his sword, while he was wishing he was holding a drink in that hand instead with a bar stool under his ass. He should have been at the bar, meeting Bass , something that seemed to happen more often nowadays. Rachel's eyes were filled with disapproval when he had left the house. Hell, they were full if ice and disapproval every time she knew Bass would be anywhere where he would be.

He knew that Bass and Rachel probably were never going to get along, and he understood, he knew a of a lot had happened. But hell, he knew that if they were ever going to work for real, there had to be room for Bass in his life.

Instead of a slow evening and some good old fashioned bullshit stories from days long ago with Bass, he was standing here. The man that should have been on duty that night to cover the town gate had gotten some hell of a flue. Of course, Bass, the prick, had suddenly not been around anymore at that point in their little office, so Miles had to do the honours.

Another hour or so and he would be done and still go and catch up with Bass. He would let the idiot pay for all of his whiskey tonight.

He had his eyes gazed in the distance when something put him on edge. He felt it before he heard it. He heard it before he saw them. A group of wounded rangers closed the distance to the town. The wagons were moving slowly.

' _Need some help over here, open the gate, now'_  he barked over his shoulder.

Their town was still a refuge for the wounded and although the war was almost over and the patriots were pushed back more and more, it was far from over. Those patriot morons still left a path of devastation with their re-education camps and creepy killer kids.

Miles' feet took him down the stairs in no time to see what he could do. After Bass and him had a previous squabble with Texas in the past, they were all on the same side now and these man needed help.

The wagons had rolled in under the gate and he watched Gene from a far, with Rachel not far from his side doing their first triages to assess where to help first.

He turned to his right when his eyes fell on a young man.

' _What in the hell,'_  he muttered under his breath. The mutter changed into a loud order when he spoke again and tried to suppress some black panic that started to spread in his gut.

' _Somebody get Monroe, and get his ass over here, now!'_

* * *

The sound of the town bell resounded through the streets. Her instincts were immediately on fire. There had been no attacks lately on their town and although her life seemed to have calmed down, and the town around her felt safe, she knew, and always realised, things could change in a heartbeat.

The town around her sprung into action, and she did not hesitate to do the same. Charlie's mind processed what was going on quickly, and her grandfather's training helped her to help wherever she could. She registered her grandfather, mother and Miles at work in the distance while her hands tried to take care of a broken leg in front of her.

Charlie felt the blood drain from her face when she heard his low primal howl. Bitter coldness crept over her spine. Her body froze but she forced herself to start to run at the same time, desperate to reach him. She passed another wagon before she saw them.

Before she saw him.

Charlie recognised those dark curls, she recognised the lines of his face, his face covered in bruises and caked blood. The silver ring on his finger. His eyes shut. His face pale.

Charlie saw Miles, kneeled down next to his brother, his dark eyes set on the ground before him.

It was like the rest of the town around them moved in slow motion and all what remained was him when she saw Bass. She felt a deep cry forming in her lunges, his sheer desperation almost causing her to knock her of her feet when she watched a completely broken Bass, tears running over his face, while he was holding his motionless son in his arms.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I am leaving you with one very big cliff hanger. But I have already started to put together the next chapter, so I hope to update soon! I will also work on 'It takes two', so you can expect another chapter there too, very soon. Thank you for reading, as always. Please let me know what you think, always adore hearing from you! Until the next chapter...ciao! Love from Love


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this point in the story would arrive. Connor would find it's way back in the story. I truly believe that from the hard and impossible things in life, beauty can grow, people can grow, Bass and Charlie can grow, so that's why I wrote this chapter. I will update very soon! Thank you for reading, I say it all the time, but you are all so amazing. Thank you! Until the next chapter...ciao! Love from Love

 

Bass had drinks the night before with the boys. Just him, Miles, the boys and a lot of booze.

He had found Charlie in his bed later, sound asleep. But when he entered the room, her eyes had opened and met him with challenge and seduction that she had perfected so well. When he had slid under the covers, his boots, jeans and shirt somewhere on the ground to waste no time, he had known why. His body met a very naked Charlie, her curves inviting against his side. When he had groaned in the crook of her neck, and she did that thing where she slowly moved her ass against his groin to drive him wild, all bets were off.

He had playfully pinned her beneath him. She had tried to fight him off, her lips turning into one hell of smile, but without true conviction.

' _Nice try Charlotte,'_  he groaned in her ear, teasing her.

Their kisses had turned into passion, and passion had turned into the both of them wrapping themselves around each other, heartbeat against heartbeat.

He had fallen asleep sated after he had pulled her close against him and had woken up with Charlie tugged under his arm, her warm breath on his skin.

He had dragged himself to a meeting with Blanchard in the morning, still asking himself what the fuck had happened for him and Charlie to be where they were.

He had helped himself to a drink after lunch.

And then he had seen how a ranger stormed into his office. He had listened to his words.

' _Sir, you are needed at the gate. Now. Matheson has been asking for you.'_

He had heard the sound of the town bell rumbling through the town.

Within seconds he had smashed his drink down on the table before him, he had grabbed his swords and gun and had made his way towards what the hell was going on.

Bass assessed the situation quickly. He was ready to give orders, like he had done so many times before. And for one last moment, this afternoon had nothing do to with him personally.

That was until this Thursday afternoon stopped being a regular Thursday afternoon.

That was until he had seen Miles. The dark eyes of his brother met his. He already pointed his gaze at something else, ready to give orders to try and regain some order when his eyes were drawn back to Miles.

_Something was very much the fuck not all right._

He knew. Four decades of a brotherly bound told him..

Bass shoved somebody out of the way to get to Miles. Tension was building up in his jaw and every muscle as a reflex. His eyes wide and full of edgy focus, his heartbeat pounding in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Numerous scenarios and the way they could react to them running through his mind until he reached Miles.

It was like the world around him got smaller in a surreal way, the colours turned to grey and he felt stunned like he was just hit by the blast of a grenade.

He was not walking anymore. He was running.

' _Move!'_  Bass shouted in a deep growl to anyone on his path. His eyes dark.

He felt how the familiar dark demons had already started to run with him. Their shadows already catching up with him.

It were the same demons, that had never left his side from the moments he heard his entire family was gone. It were the same demons that had hunted how down when the midwife had left their tent and rushed him back inside before he would lose his family all over again.

He had already seen him. He had already recognised his shape, his body. But at the same time his mind prevented him from thinking anything at this point. The demons were cornering him. There was nowhere to hide anymore.

In one fast desperate movement Bass jumped on the wagon behind Miles and kneeled down next to his son. His knees on the hard wooden floor of the wagon while he watched directly at his son's face in absolute horror, his eyes scanned Connor to make any sense of what he saw.

He took Connor in his arms. He was lying between other men and Bass needed his son away from all that devastation, blood and death. He sunk down on the ground with the motionless body of his son against his chest.

There was a deep howl coming from his chest that he did not even recognised as his own, when he almost choked on his own tears.

Connor's pale complexion, blood on his face, blood everywhere, his body lifeless. The stillness of his son causing a dark panic of raw pain inside of him.

Bass did not know anymore if he was holding Connor, or his baby girl. His baby girl that was just as pale and just as wrapped up in blood as his son was right now, when he had held her in his arms for the first time and the last time, all at once.

He cried, he cried so hard he was sure he was about to heave. He rocked Connor in his arms, fully prepared to rip anyone apart who would dare to touch his son.

Charlie watched Bass, Connor's face against his chest. His arms around the young man.

She watched Bass cry with such a raw intensity that her blue eyes filled with tears. It blurred her vision. His pain reached her and froze her. She saw Miles close to him, but she could see Bass was a world away. She saw it in his eyes. She saw darkness, she saw despair. She saw how Bass broke into pieces of complete loss right in front of her.

' _Let me through,'_  the calm but determined voice belonged to doctor Cooper. A down to earth man. Fast mind, steady hand, Texan at heart. He earned his place in the small community and he became a respected doctor in their village with an expertise in war trauma.

Charlie felt her tears coming to a full stop, she felt how her vision turned into clear focussed lines again. The fighter in her returned when Cooper ran to Bass and Connor. She noticed how her mother was nearby too.

Cooper kneeled down next to Bass. He reached for Connor's neck to check his pulse.

' _Don't touch him, don't you dare touch him!'_  Bass shouted to him, his voice hoarse, soaked in tears.

'  _Bass, he is here to help.'_  Miles squeezed Bass his shoulder, desperately trying to reach him.

' _Bass, let him help Connor,'_ He tried again. He was pushing down the panic in his own gut, knowing too damn well that there probably was no helping Connor anymore. Knowing too damn well what that might mean to his brother. Which darkness this could trigger. He had his brother like this again, at a tent camp many years ago and he was gutted by the possibility of going through it again if his kid would not make it. He did not think that Bass would make it through burying one more of his kids.

Bass heard Miles' words, but there was no way he would let go of Connor. Nothing else seemed to matter than holding him close. Nothings else mattered anymore.

' _Bass.'_

Bass knew that voice.

Charlie had closed the distance between her and Bass. She had seen Miles' attempts to reach him. She saw the utter worry and pain for Bass on her uncle's face. She had forced herself to shake her way out of her own frozen state. She kneeled down on the other side of Bass.

' _Bass, no one is going to take Connor away from you.'_ Her words were soft, but firm.

'  _We are here to help. '_

She was not sure if he would push her away, but her instincts told her to reach out one hand and place that hand gently on his upper arm.

' _Let us help.'_

Charlie carefully watched his face. His eyes were staring at his son, hollowness in his eyes. But Charlie felt the shift under her hand. It was a shift that made her turn her eyes to Cooper for a moment, and with a small nod, without letting go of Bass with her hand, she told him it was okay.

Cooper slowly moved to Connor. Bass knew Charlie was somewhere close, he knew that Miles was there, but he could do nothing more than cling on to Connor. He watched doc. It was like time did not exist anymore. He knew what would be next. He knew but he would never let Connor go. He would never stop holding on to his son. He would not watch his son disappear into cold ground.

Charlie stayed close to Bass. Every second seemed to last forever. She had seen this many times before. She was afraid of what she would find in the doctor's look when his fingers touched Connor's skin. Hoping he would find a heartbeat, but fearing the worst herself too. Connor was just too damn still.

She did not want Connor to die. No matter what happened. She didn't. But more than that, she did not want Bass to lose his son, to lose his hope of family.

' _We have a pulse.'_ It was the steady voice of Cooper that made her breathe again.

_We have a ..._

_We have a pulse._

The docs words reached Bass but did he did not understood them at first. He looked at Connor, his mouth opened in shock.

' _Sir, we need to work on him, now.'_

' _Somebody help me,'_ Cooper turned to Rachel, he had worked with her before in the shared practice and he knew this woman's skills would be much needed.

Charlie looked up too at her mother, who looked completely blank, her face filled with sharp lines, without any intention to move.

Charlie watched her mother for one moment, before she walked over to her and grabbed her by her arm.

' _If you are not here to help, then you better get away from them.'_  Her words were sharp and it were the only words she wanted to waste on her mother right now before she turned away from her again and walked to the doctor.

' _Tell me what I can do,'_ she offered.

When Bass let go of Connor , but never letting him go with his eyes, he felt how Miles placed an arm around his shoulder. The salt of his tears were still burning on his skin when he felt his brother close to him.

' _He is in good hands, Bass.'_ Miles watched Cooper and Charlie, her face filled with determination and concentration when they both got to work. He watched his niece at work, and he could not help but feel admiration. This girl never seemed to give up, she had a resilience and fire in her, that left him stunned and proud at the same time.

Cooper asked for a stretcher. His movements fast, but with a calmness that seemed to calm down the energy around him.

Bass was still kneeled down next to Connor, his knees in the dirt of the main street, his hands in his lap.

_Hang in there son. Hang in there._

_Don't take him away from me._

_Don't._

 

_**Midnight** _

Charlie had found a bowl and some water, and she was splashing it into her face. The past few hours felt like days. When they had gotten Connor into the small town hospital, which was nothing more than the town's practice and some extra rooms for patients who needed round the clock care, the fight had begun.

Connor's life hung in the balance. There were wounds to be taken care of, he was dehydrated, exhausted and it was too early to make any kind of prognosis. After they had been able to clean him up and the pale skin of his face reappeared from under the blood, Charlie had recognised something of the Connor she knew before.

All that was left for them to do know, in these nightly hours, all they could do now was wait, Cooper had ordered her to get some rest. Miles had given her a reassuring nod, when he had sat next to Bass. He was the one person she trusted enough to be there with Bass, when she could not be herself. So she gave herself a couple of minutes to eat some fruit that somebody left behind for her, drink something and let the cold water in her face bring her back to her senses before she walked down the silent and dark hall that lead back to Connor's room.

The soft lights of a few s lamps illuminated the room. Connor was still not conscious. She intuitively checked his chest, which was still rising and falling, so that meant oxygen. Oxygen meant life.

Bass sat next to Connor, a chair close to his bed. Miles had moved and was leaning in the window still behind Bass. Eyes down on the flour, both man sitting in silence.

Right now, Charlie did not care if Miles would see what she was about to do. She didn't. All that mattered to her right now was him.

She stood in the doorway when the realisation hit her She stood there in the silence of the hall and let it sink in.

She felt compassion. She felt compassion for Bass. She felt it with whole her heart. She felt compassion for the broken man, for the father in him, for the man next to the bed of his son. She recognised his pain, because it was something they shared.

She did not know how the road behind them had taken both of them here, to this point. But she did. She felt compassion. For him. It was like a piece of her heart opened for him, here, in the middle of the night.

So she did what her heart told her what to do. She walked over to Bass, his elbows resting on his knees, his head resting in the palm of his hands. She slowly sat down on the chair beside him. And then she stroked the side of his face, and let her hand rest on the back of his neck. She let her head rest against his arm.

She waited. He did not move.

So she waited again.

She waited in the silence of the room. She waited for him, she waited for Bass. She felt the heaviness of his sorrow. Charlie did not care if he moved. She only wanted him to know she was there. She wanted to reach him, she wanted to pierce into the dark place he was in, and fight her way through the walls of his darkness. She wanted Bass to know she was there. She wanted Bass to know he was not alone.

She did not know how long they had been sitting like this, but she felt the change in Bass when he started to move his hand. His hand moved over her shoulder and landed on the side of her head, his fingers entangled in his hair. He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair. He felt how Charlie moved her arm under his and how one of her hands rested against his back.

Bass felt numb, he felt empty, not knowing it there was any damn hope. Hope he wanted not for himself but for his kid, his son. He had almost given up his life for him in Vegas, if Charlie had not showed up and got them out, he would have died in that hell of a cage, and there was no doubt in his mind he would trade his life for his right now.

Hours had seemed to evaporate in the space around them, since the moment they had brought Connor inside of this room, since the moment doc had told them there was nothing to do and wait.

He could not speak but he knew his brother was sitting behind him, having his back as he had done countless times before. It was something he thought would never experience again.

Numbness through his body, the darkness of the night around them.

And then, there was a slender hand going over his skin. Her scent close. Her breathe close. The warm skin of her fingers soothing in his neck.

Some of the numbness moved back, and his hand reached out for her. He felt the weight of her against his arm, and her simple touch grounded him. He finally had the courage to move his hand to touch her hair, and when he leaned into her, he was not able to hold back. He fought the tears back with everything he had, but the force of his raw pain was too big. When her hair touched his scruff, he let his face disappear into her curls.

Tears escaped from deep within the numbness, landing in her soft hair. Deep whimpers escaped his throat, breaking the silence of the room while Bass cried in Charlie's embrace.

He cried for his son, for the time they never had together, for the moments he had missed, and for the time they might never have together.

He cried for his brother, who had not left him for one damn second.

He cried for this incredible woman, who was sitting here in the middle of the night, and who with a simple comforting gesture almost ripped his heart out, right before he felt how Charlie calmed him down.

They were here. She was here. Here with him. He felt how her other hand wrapped itself around his waist. He could feel her body break down for a moment too, he heard one deep sob, he felt her tears on his skin.

She was crying for him, with him. He was not sure if he could take anymore, but all he knew was he needed her. He needed Charlie.

Charlie felt how Bass let go, she felt how his body leaned into her, into her touch. She felt how he held on to her with his arm, he felt the heartbreaking tears finally found a way out from his chest.

Miles watched his niece with his brother. He should be surprised. Somehow he wasn't. He was too damn tired to think about why he wasn't. He should be yelling to Bass to get the hell away from his niece. But he couldn't. He saw a side of Bass he had almost forgotten through the long years. He saw how his brother let his dark wall down, he watched how Charlie took it down, brick by brick. It was happening right before his eyes. He had seen it in Charlie's eyes the moment she stood in the doorway and her eyes had landed on Bass. He saw it in the way Bass pulled her close, in the way Charlie had let him.

So he leaned into the window still, and he sat there in silence.

He watched how Charlie reached his brother, in the way she had been able to reach him, when he was close to being dead in that bar in Chicago. She, with all her stubbornness, had walked into his bar on a normal Tuesday afternoon and had refused to believe him when he told her that part of him, that she remembered from days long ago, had been dead. With big blue eyes, she had watched him.

He did not know how the hell she did it, but she had brought a piece of him back. She had brought Bass back many months ago. And now she had found a way to bring a piece back of his brother that he thought he buried with him, the day he had to watch how his brother buried Shelly and his daughter. How could he not want that for his best friend, for his brother?

So, he should be surprised, he should yell, but he didn't. Instead he sat behind them, guarding them through the night.

Time passed, the night progressed and Charlie told herself to stay strong. For him. For Bass. Her own body between his and his heavy arm. She let him cry and held on to him with all she could give him. 

_We will get through this, we will Bass._

_We will._

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your reviews are simply all so very amazing, thank you so very much! I cannot tell you how much they mean to me and how they inspire me in my writing. So thank you guys!
> 
> This chapter starts right where we left Charlie, Bass with Miles and Connor. In that small hospital room...a long dark night. After Charlie has found a way to reach Bass. And Bass finally let somebody...Charlie, in.
> 
> I do not...yes..you all know by now :)

 

**Sunrise**

Bass woke up with golden locks of hair and Charlie's head in his lap. His hand resting on her shoulder. Somehow just before the dark hours before sunrise she had fallen asleep against him, her body curled up on the chair next to him. Her breathing was slow and deep. The beams of sunlight that fell through a small gap between the closed and faded curtains touched her hair and skin.

She was covered with a soft blanket.  _Miles._

When almost fucking pathetic tears had escaped from the dark corners in his mind, Charlie had been there. Never giving him the feeling he was pathetic or embarrassing himself. He did not know how the hell she did that, but in everything she did, Charlie stayed strong, determined.

He had wanted to keep his eyes on Connor. Like he could will his son not to slip away from him that way since it only took minutes of him stepping outside a warm tent for his wife and girl to slip away, when he had not been watching them.

But somehow, just before sunrise he had crashed into a short dreamless sleep.

He heard Miles snoring behind him. He gently pulled his hand away from Charlie's shoulder and let his hand go over his face and through the rough and wild scruff of his beard.

_Connor._

His kid looked like hell, all his attitude silenced, his dark curls glued against his forehead. He looked small. Pale. But he was breathing, he was here and god damn it, he was a Monroe. There was strength and one hell of a fighter in him.

The last time he had seen his son was when he had to leave him behind in a shed, together with that son of a bitch traitor Neville on the day Miles had the best idea  _eve_ r, kidnapping the goddamn patriot President. He had some different ideas, like cutting the asshole's throat .

The last time he had seen his son, his own blood, his family, his son had tried to kill him. This time not because Gould hat put them in a cage in a fight to the death, but because of his son's free will. Bass had not been able to reach him, to make Connor understand why things had changed. Why he would still give his life up for his son in a heartbeat, but he could not meet Connor's dark desire for power.

Somehow, his story had become Connor's story.

It had broken his heart. It had broken any hope that was still there, not much, but some, of ever feeling what family meant. He had seen the pain on Connor's face, he had seen his own darkness reflected in his son's face and dark eyes. He had begged Connor to go back with him, fight their way through this.

Instead his kid had tried to shoot him.

And now, he was back. He was here. Somehow Connor had found his way back. The betrayal of his kid hurt like a knife in his gut, but this was his son, and no matter what would happen, he would be here if he woke up. What would happen next, Bass was not sure of that. But for now, Bass place was at his son's side.

Bass could hear the town start up for another day. But that was outside and it didn't matter. All what mattered to him right now, was right with him in this small room.  _Everybody_ that mattered was here between these four walls.

His eyes found Charlie again. He wanted to touch her hair, he wanted to feel her breath in the crook of his neck and feel the weight of her body against his own.

But something locked inside of him. Slowly demolishing his want to feel her close. Somehow he braced himself for something, as memories from his past reached him for a moment, too fast to catch the memory completely, but the face of another woman flashed before him, dark curls, warm smile, haunting him, before her face faded away.

Charlie felt how the sun woke her up, the sharp light in her face. She felt something soft covering her.

 _Snoring_. Definitely Miles.

 _His scent, warmth of his body close around her._  Definitely Bass.

And then she left that place between sleeping and being awake, and she remembered where she was. She remembered Bass' his face, his desperation. The image of Bass holding his son in his arms was one she would  _never f_ orget, it was burned into her mind like his scar on her wrist.

She remembered the way Bass had cried into her hair. She remembered the overwhelming sense of compassion washing over her. In that little alcove in the middle of the night, consisting of dark silent hours where time seemed to stand still, he had let her in. She had let him in.

They had met somewhere on unfamiliar territory for the both of them.

She slowly opened her eyes and moved herself into a sitting position.

' _Hey,'_  her voice was hoarse, she did not even recognised it as her own at this point.

' _Hey,'_ his voice was raw and deep, and almost inaudible. There was a hint in his eyes, the way he sat next to her that touched something inside of her, gave her an unpleasant jolt deep inside of her. It was like the shadow of one single cloud moving in front of the sun on a summer day.

'  _You guys look like crap,'_  it was Miles voice behind them. Charlie turned around and gave her uncle a smile.  _' Need some breakfast?'_

Charlie nodded. Relieved that he wanted to get them breakfast, instead of wanting to break Bass' nose or wanting to yell at her for their moment a couple of hours ago.

Miles was almost out of the door when Bass finally spoke to him.

' _Thanks brother.'_

Charlie watched both men. She knew Bass was not talking about his offer to get something to eat for them. She knew Miles knew too. These two men could be a couple of stupid idiots, and she hid a smile at the clear way her uncle was uncomfortable with Bass his words.

' _It's nothing, you morons sure look like you could use some food.'_ And with those words, and a badly hidden grin that made him 10 years yonger, Miles was out of the door.

_**A couple of days later** _

After Miles had gotten them breakfast, the light of a new day had seemed to change everything. In a slow and subtle way. Bass felt more, more of something and at the same time, less of something else to her. The shift was too small for anyone else to notice, but Charlie knew him too well, not to notice.

It was like one of those storms she could sense, even before they had hit their town, many years ago. Even though the sky had been perfectly all right, and there were no dark clouds in sight, Charlie could perceive the change in the elements around her.

Connor had woken up yesterday, but he was still weak, confused and not able to talk. He was into a state of being awake and was off to a place no one could reach him moments later. Cooper had given him a decent chance to get through it all. But it was still bed rest for him, and lot's of monitoring before they could even think about if he would leave the hospital.

The look on Bass' face, the look on his face when Connor had started to stir and mumble words that no one understood yet, had warmed Charlie with relieve. For a moment they had locked eyes and she forgot , just for a moment, about that one cloud before the sun.

Connor's return had brought her and Bass closer, but since he had woken up, she felt like they had been thrown back in time somehow. She had responsibilities, she had work to do, but she tried to spend as much time as she could with Bass, but also she made sure there was plenty of time for both of the men to just be. Days passed.

And now Charlie walked into the hallway of the small hospital. The sound of her boots were echoing around her. She had hoped to meet Bass here, but Sophie, the sweet nurse who was working through her day shift, informed her he would be here soon.

She walked into the light room, and noticed Connor was gaining some more colour on his face. She put her jacket in the window still, the Texan sun warming the room this late afternoon, before she sat down , leaning into the backside of the bed, facing Connor.

She knew something happened between Connor and Bass, but somehow Bass had never been ready to talk to her about it. She had respected that although she could not help but wonder what the hell happened.

She was lost in her own thoughts when a dead calm voice _, too calm, too low_ , behind her jolted her right out of it.

' _Do you need some more time together?_ ' His voice was deep behind her. A cold shiver was going through her spine, when her mind connected the words to the man that was standing behind her.

' _Excuse me?'_ She got up from the bed in one slow but determined movement and turned towards him, her body on edge, her heartbeat pounding in her chest. She was not sure if this was really happening.

' _You heard me.'_  his words a deep grunt, a coldness in his eyes that hit her like the time he had punched her in her stomach, years ago.

These were not the words of a man who had made it his primary goal to explore every part of her body with his hands and mouth. These were not the words of the man who gave her unlimited pleasure. These were not the words of the man she shared a bottle and stories with. These were not the words of the man that held her while she slept. These were not the words of the man that could make her laugh, that could comfort her.

Charlie recognised that look.

She was pulled back into a distant memory.

_He had given her the same look when they just found what was left of Duncan's tribe, and Scanlon had offered him his services, the eager to please little rat._

_After all, you need a leader with experience. And then he had stared at her._

_Challenge, rawness but also something else in his eyes. It had been a mix from the General she once met in Philly and the Bass that was, already, showing his face more and more at that time. Well, at least to her._

The man standing in front of her now, at the other side of the room was more General Monroe than Bass. The dark gut feeling that was lingering around her had been right.

Here he was.

She really desperately wished she would prove herself wrong with her dark warning inside of her, _just for once_ , but she had seen the changes in him, from the moment she had woken up in his lap a couple of days earlier.

She felt hurt, she felt betrayal, but to hell with showing him that she decided, her mind automatically jumping back to the place where she needed to be to face this part of the man that had somehow appeared in front of her.

' _Seriously? After the hell from last days, you are going to throw that in my face?'_ She snapped at him.

 _After I have been there for you, after I let you close, after I started to believe, we could be more._   _After I felt, there was more._ Charlie's thoughts were racing, a swirl of thoughts that kept battling with the actual words that came out of her mouth.

' _Well, it sure looked like you had a nice little moment there, Charlotte,'_

 _Fuck. Stop you son of a bitch. What the hell are you doing?_ But it was like that part of his brain was overruled by the memory of a night in Vegas. Of the thought he could lose her, lose her to Connor,  _hell_ , lose her to another man, any man, a better man. Lose her to life, lose her to death, to the impossibility of their pasts that were still there, that always would be placed between them.

Feeling Charlie close to him when he had needed her the most, it had reminded him of something that was too damn close to something like home. Decades ago, a lifetime ago when family and a home had felt like a natural thing, when there were people who found him worthy of being there for him when he had needed them.  _His parents, his sisters. Miles. Emma. Shelly_.

The last time he had truly felt something like that, a connection, a place to belong, was with Shelly. And now, Charlie was here. And she had decided he had been man enough to give her a piece of herself.

It had ignited a raging battle inside of him. A dark impossible battle of wanting her,  _no fuck_ , it was more, of needing her and the demons inside of him that told him he could not want that, he could not afford to let somebody in that way, that he had to keep distance between whatever the fuck he felt for Charlie.

Because everybody he seemed to care about,  _died_.  _Left_. Took a piece of him with them, every damn time. Tried to kill him.

Because when he would lose her, when he would lose Charlie, there would be nothing left _._  There would be no end to that darkness.

It had been a raging battle and when he had walked into the room and saw Charlie sitting close to Connor, the demons had won.

Bass watched Charlie, blue eyes piercing their way into his. Not sure if she would launch herself at him when she closed the distance between them.

' _You have no right to talk to me like this. No. Right.'_ She almost hissed at him, through her teeth.

' _Is that so?_ ' His tone border lined cruel. He was back, for that moment, the crude General was back.

' _First of all, there was no moment. I told you before, Connor and I were a one night thing._  ' Her eyes were fire and ice all at once, her tone was firm but he could hear emotions running through it.  _'I am not here for him, I am here for you.'_

She tilted her head back, and placed her boots firmly on the floor before him.

Bass was as tall as he ever was, standing right before her but she did not give a damn right now. She never gave a damn. He was acting like a son of a bitch and she had never taken any of his crap. She was not going to start now.

_Fight him first, feel the sharp hurt insider later. Not now, god, Not. Now. That was how she had always dealt with Monroe._

' _You think it it's easy for me to see you even remotely close to my mom in this town? You think the reminder of THAT night is easy for me?'_ She forced herself not to scream, anger washing all over her face.

She could see how Bass swallowed with difficulty, his lines pressed together in his signature way when her words hit him.

' _But for me, the past is the past. And you know why? Because I trust you. I fucking don't know why. But I trusted you to not go there again. With her. This is about you and me. Nobody else. Because you have changed, and my feelings for you changed along the way.'_

They stared at each other, standing close enough to feel each other's breaths hitting each other's faces. Bass was at an absolute loss for words when he heard Charlie's words.

' _Maybe I was wrong, about any of this.'_  She tried to keep the distance in her voice, but she had failed miserably. Instead of distance, here words were slow, her tone low and defeated.

She turned away from him, grabbed her jacket and left the room without even looking at him.

Only when she was home, and locked the front door behind her, she allowed herself to stop fighting the salty tears that were now streaming over her cheek, like raindrops on a gloomy grey autumn day against the window. She felt how the anger made way to a wave of raw hurt, and she let herself glide down the front door, her back against the wood, until she reached the ground.

Bass stood nailed to the ground even long after he had heard the sound of her boots hitting the floor in the hallway, one devastating step she took away from him at the time, had faded away.

* * *

Bass sat on the couch,  _his_  couch. The apartment was dark, cold and Charlie seemed to be everywhere. He did not even bother to start a fire or make some light. He just wanted to blend in with the cold and the dark.

There was a void around him, and it was expanding rapidly, reminding him of the long years in Philly, after Miles had left. After his last family had left. He stared at the glass before him.

_Maybe I was wrong about any of this._

Charlie had tried to kill him several times before, but this time she had actually pulled the fucking trigger.

And he could not blame her, because he had been one giant and harsh son of a bitch to her. She did not deserve this. He knew things between Connor and her had been over, she knew she had so much heart in her to want to see him recover, but he also knew that was it.

But somehow, something broke lose inside of him at the sight of her sitting on his bed. Fuck. His old darkness with a force of destruction had broken lose and had aimed its arrows at her. His old destructive self had decided it was the fucking perfect opening he needed to push her away from him. For good.

He tried to drink himself away of the hurt he saw in her eyes. He tried to tell himself this was for the best. It was better for her. He knew it was a lot of bullshit.

His bed was too big and too damn fucking cold without her. It was the first time in a very long time he drank himself into dark oblivion, and fell asleep with the aching knowledge she was not there. With the aching void of knowing he would never feel the warmth of her skin on his again. She would never give that part of her to him. He would never end up into  _a stand your ground argument_ with Charlie that was frustrating and turning him on at the same time. He would never see her stunning smile, the one that reached her eyes. He would never be able to hold her, to shield her.

And after today, Charlie would not want to be anything  _to_  him,  _with_  him,  _for_  him. Not after this.

_What the fuck had he done._

* * *

When Charlie had sent herself to bed, although she was not sure why she even bothered, sunrise just around the corner,her mind never caught up with the idea of sleep. She lay there, in her clothes, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. The room around her was dark, but she did not see that darkness. She saw him. She let herself go back to the hospital room, earlier today, a version of him that she had not seen in a while standing right in front of her.

She was not naive. She knew darkness would always reside in Sebastian Monroe, like it would always reside in herself. But she thought, she really thought they had met somewhere. That they had met in a place where they both could be something more than their pasts, their hurt, their damage.

She was not naive. She knew that there was so much still placed between them that they never touched. She knew that if they would want to become something more, they had to fight their way through it, through all of the mess. But since she was a fighter, it was in her Matheson blood, and this infuriating man  _had fighting and never let the fuck go when he fought for what he believed in_  running through him, they would have a chance.

But for him to treat her like this, with such a cheap shot, with such crude words, that was so typical him whenever he seemed to get hurt,

 _wait, wait,_ her mind whispered to herself _, so typical him when he is hurt, think about that. Think, ._

it had hurt more than she had shown him. It had hurt more than she wanted to admit.

Because the simple and shattering truth was there in the dark with her. She cared for him. Somewhere along the road, she had actually started to give a damn about this man.

It was a too big of a truth for her right now. So she stared at the ceiling, and let time move along without her.

When she reached the point where she didn't know where the mattress ended and her body began, and her eyes were fixed so much on one point she was not sure she ever could or wanted to move them again, she heard a soft knock. The sound reached her but her mind decided not to react.

Another soft knock.

This time her mind decided otherwise.

When she opened the door, Bass was leaning against the doorway. Hands in his pockets. His shoulders low, his head slightly down, misery all over his face. His eyes, unsure, dark, finally found hers for a moment, the same way they had found her after he had knocked Neville out with Miles, next to the train.

She could smell whiskey on his breath, but she knew he was not drunk. Not anymore. He was sobering up. Dark and miserable. She knew she should slam the door right in his face, but she could not find the energy to do it.

She was still holding the door in her hand. He was still leaning into the doorway. She did not invite him in, he did not even made an effort to move. Distance between them, darkness. Both of them miserable.

When Bass finally spoke, his eyes fixed on a point on the floor, after swallowing hard, his words were a low mutter and Charlie wondered how so much pain could hide in so very little words when Bass his voice reached her.

' _Her name was Shelly.'_

* * *

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you so much for your kind reviews, as always, they are making me smile and are very inspiring!

 

_Her name was Shelly.'_

Charlie stepped away from the door just a little, opening the door only so much, but enough for him to know he could come in.

Bass had woken up, hours after he had crash-landed into whiskey never land. He had woken up, and there had been Charlie and only Charlie on his mind. He was not able to fight the impulse of wanting to see her.

When he had walked through the silent streets of the small town, he had thought about what he would say. What he would do. He had no fucking clue. He wasn't even sure if she was home, he wasn't even sure if she would even op the door. When she had opened the door, it had crushed him to see her. And somehow his mind had decided to go for four words.  _Her name was Shelly._

Normally he would walk inside and brush her shoulder with his in a teasing or slightly challenging way, like he had done the first time on a sandy and dusty road when he had just knocked out that loser bounty hunter, or whisper something wildly exciting in her ear but this time there were no words, there was no light touch when Bass walked past her. Charlie felt it all.

Although she recognised the man in front of her, as the man she had gotten to know the last past months, she was cautious and kept her distance. His calm insulting and biting words from earlier still too close.

She turned away from him and grabbed a handmade woollen cardigan before she lit up some candles. When she had put on the cardigan she wrapped her arms protectively before her chest, her fingers only wrapping the cardigan even closer to her body.

Neither of them sat down. Bass stood close to the door, his chin down, the muscles in his neck flexed with tension and unease. Charlie stood not far away from the fireplace.

Bass had asked himself how Charlie was able to get Miles to a place where he had left his pathetic drinking hiding cave in Chicago, how she managed to get through to his brother. After meeting her, after spending only several weeks, hell, maybe even days, on the road with her after he had saved her life, he had understood.

Charlie Matheson did not settle for no, Charlie Matheson did not settle for bullshit. She had a way of looking you right in the eye, to walk straight through everything, with whole her heart, stubbornness and courage _. Hell_ , his respect for her had grown with every single week he had spend with her since.

It was this respect for her _, for Charlie_  and knowing how much she had given of herself to him, after everything, that made him want to give her something back.

' _It was two years after the blackout. Miles and I had joined a camp and tried to make a life for ourselves. She walked into camp on a rainy grey day and it was not long until I found something that resembled happiness with her again.'_  His voice was low and his tone even. He was kicking something with his boot on the wooden floor that was not even there.

Charlie saw a bitter smile around his lips, before it faded away and his face turned blank, his eyes staring at something that was not with them in the room.

She picked up on the word  _again_ , but this was not the place or time for questions. She let him talk.

' _We got married, and she tied her life to mine. I tied myself to her. A couple of months later she was pregnant.'_

Charlie felt how her heart missed a beat at his words. She closed her eyes for a moment.

' _I talked to her, on the day of the birth, like it was any other day. She asked what we should call the baby. She smiled at me, I could feel the baby kick. It...'_

Bass could not remember when he talked about Shelly for the last time. Talking about her, mentioning her name, remembering her smile, caused so much pain that he was not sure if he could continue.

' _When she went into labour she talked to me, she was still making stupid jokes. The midwife ordered me to get some air and leave our tent, and I swear, I only stepped outside for less than a minute... one fucking minute.' His voice broke._

He stared at his hands, expecting to see the blood on his hands from years ago. Her blood. Shelly's blood.

' _Within that minute my family was ripped away from me. Shelly, she did not make it. My child never took one single breath.'_

Charlie did not even notice how her eyes started to fill with silent tears. Bass abruptly turned away from her, his hands leaning into the wood of the window frame, his back towards her. She could see how his hands were shaking, no matter how much he tried to hide that from her.

She knew him, his pain was written all over his body, and it reached her as a shockwave.

She silently walked over to him, untangled her hands and arms and slowly let her forehead rest against his back, one hand wrapped around him, her hand resting on his chest.

' _I buried them both, my wife and daughter, together with Miles.'_

 _A daughter, he had a daughter._ Charlie could feel his deep raw words vibrating in his chest.

He had lost a child. She had not the courage to ask if she or they both could have been saved if her parents had not thrown this world back hundreds of years back in time.

' _Bass, I am so sorry.'_ Her voice was only a whisper.  _'I am so sorry for Shelly, I am so sorry for your girl.'_

The only thing he could do was place his hand over her warm and slender fingers. To hear Shelly's name and his baby girl acknowledged by Charlie, he could not even begin to tell her how much that meant. It had been years since he had heard her name out loud from somebody else. Her let the wave of mourning beat him up on the inside, while the warmth of Charlie's touch kept him from drowning in it completely.

Finally, he let go of her hand an turned around to face her. Charlie could feel the connection dissolve. And when he spoke again, she could sense his raw bitterness.

' _Miles had wanted to raid another camp for winter, to get the cattle, food and weapons. I declined. But after that day, the day I lost them, nothing seemed to be what it was. I raided that camp myself, with some of our men. I did not even wait for him, for Miles. We did not only took their cattle and weapons, but we took all of their lives. No survivors.'_ He sounded hoarse.

' _I died. I died together with Shelly and our daughter that day, and I fought the darkness of loss with other darkness.'_

He looked Charlie straight in her eyes.

' _I still question myself how things got so out of control from that point. But they did. They fucking did. That day lead to the man you met the that time in Philly.'_

Charlie nodded at him. There was a hint of something close to shame in his eyes. Regret. Today, she had met that man again.

Charlie realised she just got her answer to a question that went through her mind on more than occasion.

She remembered Bass, she remembered her uncle's best friend visiting. She remembered how he had made her laugh, how he had made her forget about being the sister of a very ill little brother just for a couple of hours. She remembered his warmth and the way Bass and Miles at the front door had always meant fun, jokes, laughter. It felt like finally a piece of the puzzle, that this man before her was, had been handed to her.

' _Bass, today. In Connor's room. You crossed a line.'_  Charlie started

' _I know Charlie. I know._   _Today, today I fucking messed up Charlie. There is no excuse for what I did. No. Excuse.'_ His voice found his strength again.

' _I am here because you, you matter to me..'_  his eyes found hers _, 'this means something to me.'_

Charlie nodded at him. He did not lash out to her to hurt her, he had lashed out to put distance between them.

' _You pushed me away today Bass. You pushed me away because we, whatever we are right now, are getting to close to you. You pushed me away because you can't bear to lose more.'_ There was no accusation in her words, her tone was soft but her voice was clear.

This time Bass nodded, shock in his eyes. She had figured it out. She always did. It made him want to walk over to her, wrap her in his arms and hold for fucking forever.

But he felt a shift in her. He felt how she was closing off.

Charlie looked at the man before her. Looked at him and asked herself if s _he_ could bear the thought of losing more. She felt so much, compassion, hurt, hurt for him, want, need, fear, loneliness, that she was not sure what to feel first.

She saw how Bass moved towards her. Her hands were hanging next to her body.

' _Charlie, I am so sorry. For all this mess, for how I treated you today. You have no idea how much.'_ He paused for a moment.  _' Maybe, we, this, is not enough. Maybe the past, the damage, maybe that keeps us all from any kind of future.'_

Charlie heard his words.  _Maybe, maybe he was right._ She did not know anymore, she knew nothing anymore. Bass watched how her lips started to move, how she desperately tried to form some words.

She felt how he pressed his lips to her forehead.

She knew he would leave, she knew that in less than a minute her living room would feel empty, so very empty.

' _I will never stop having your back Charlotte, anywhere, anytime.'_ His words were only a low whisper.

Something screamed inside of her to grab his jacket and freeze him, with her, in time.

She leaned into him one more time before she felt how he pulled away from her, gently. She watched him walk out of the door, closing it behind her.

Charlie had walked to the front door, and let her forehead rest against the cold wood of her front door. She could not hear his boots at the other side so she knew, knew for sure, he was standing so close to her, at the other side of the door.

He felt so close, but yet already so far away. His scent,  _spicy, whiskey and leather_ , was still on her skin.

She wished her forehead was against his chest, instead of where it rested now. She wanted to go after him so badly, but it was like her whole body and being was tied to the place she was standing now.

Charlie had no idea if seconds or minutes had passed when she heard Bass' boots. The low sounds in the dark cut right through her.

_So, this was it._

_This was it._

She felt her how her bottom lip started to shake, she felt how breaths escaped her mouth, but at the same time how she started to gasp for air. The wooden door in front of her changed into a tree, her living room into a forest and the memory was so sharp that she was thrown back in time.

It was they day , a couple of days after Miles had been found , the day she had that horrible heartbreaking fight with her mom. She was back at the moment when her truths, that she had carried with her for so long, finally found a voice.

The feeling of drowning and chocking at the same time, blinding raging tears that had almost brought her to her knees, in a quite literal way. After the showdown with her mother witnessed by many prying eyes, she had tried to find some privacy between the trees not far from camp.

And then, Charlie remembered arms loosely wrapped around her body, arms and strong hand that had guided her up against a broad chest against her back, shielding her, at the exact moment she had felt how her knees were giving up under her.

 _Breathe Charlie, just breathe._ A low deep voice close to her ear. The scent of a leather jacket close, scruff against her hair _._

_His arms. His broad chest, his body shielding her. His words. His voice. His leather jacket. His scruff._

_Bass._

He had been there. He had been there from the very beginning. After three attempts on his life, everything she had shoved in his face, after all that, he had been there.

_That awful night in Pottsboro. When she woke up at the fire afterwards. Short but intense looks, asking her if she was okay with just his eyes. His back close to her, in the middle of yet another fight. The afternoon in the high school when he came back. For her. The train, Neville's gun plastered in her face._

The forest around her morphed into her dark living room again. She tilted her head back and felt how tears had found their way to her eyes.

Was this it? Was she going to, whatever they were, whatever they had become, was she going to leave the two of them behind in time, from this moment on?

Would time push them both forward and apart, from this very moment, leaving them behind as a memory, that would fade away into story that once belonged to them?

Would she let  _them_  fade?

The absolute speed with which the answer to that question came to her, casted all her doubts and fears away.

This might not make any sense, but then again, this whole, after the blackout world, did not make any sense on a daily basis. It was wild, it was chaos, it was raw, it was about surviving. It was about one moment, one moment where you would not be there, and the world would forever be changed.

For long years Charlie had done just that, she had survived. She made it through another day. And one more.

But Bass, when she was with Bass it was more than just surviving. It was about living, feeling, passion, and comfort in the midst of this crazy wild world.

So her right hand wrapped itself around the door handle. She took a deep breath before she opened the door completely and stepped outside into the dark staircase and let her feet go down the stairs. With every step she felt how she started to move faster.

And then, she saw him. She saw his back. Bass slowly turned his head toward her. His body followed that movement.

Charlie stopped a couple of steps above him, so that they stood eye to eye.

She stood before a Sebastian Monroe she never saw before. His face was completely different than she ever witnessed. There was defeat in his whole body, defeat, raw pain, his eyes red, and traces of tears still visible on his face.

' _You, you matter to me. This means something to me too, Bass.'_ Her words were strong, determined.

Charlie watched him, took in every inch of his face and saw how her words were reaching him.

' _This, this might be full of impossibilities, full with whatever we both fear the worst. But I know, I know with all that I have got, that my life is better with you in it.'_

Finally, his eyes,  _he_ ,  _Bass_ , found her way back to her.

Bass watched Charlie's wildly blue eyes. She had spoken with such passionate power, that it was hard not to look at her.

He took a step up the stairs and reached for her, his right hand disappearing into her hair, caressing the back of her neck.

Then he took another step towards her, the wooden step of the stairs creaking under his boot, and he was so close to her he could breathe in the soft and rich scent that was Charlie. He wrapped his hand completely in her hair, and felt how Charlie rested her forehead against his chest, her warm breath going through the fabric of his shirt.

' _Fuck Charlotte,you mean so much to me, you are so much to me,'_ his voice was hoarse.

Charlie held on to his jacket before she moved her hand to his waist. She lifted her forehead away from his chest and looked up at him. She touched the scruff of his beard with her cheek.

' _Then don't you walk away.'_

Their lips brushed, brushed ever so lightly. And at that point, their bodies both seemed to remember where they belonged.

Bass crashed his mouth on hers, like had done so many times before, but somehow it felt like he touched her for the very first time.

Charlie placed both of her hands against his chest, losing herself in his kiss, losing herself in his scent. He picked her up, and lifted her from the step where she just stood, and he started to walk the both of them up the stairs. One of his hands stayed wrapped up in her hair and the other had found its way around her waist. Her whole body was touching his.

He had stopped kissing her, and now he was looking at her with an intensity that she matched with her own eyes.

He walked her into her small apartment, and closed the door with his boot, shutting the rest of the world behind them. They never broke the connection with their eyes. Not when they reached her bed, not when he started to let the strap of her bra slowly glide down her shoulder. Not when she helped him with his shirt and belt.

Bass sat down on her bed an pulled Charlie close. She straddled him and let Bass guide her slender long legs around his waist. It was skin against skin. His hardness between them, already finding her warm en wet core that was ready for him.

He kissed her, with everything he could give her. Their hands tried to touch every single part of each other's bodies.

Charlie felt the hardness of his body, she felt how well she fitted in his lap. Their tongues started a dance, while his hands went up and down her back.

Bass had to touch her breasts, play with her nipples. He felt how wet Charlie was for him, he felt her wetness against his cock. He felt her warmth radiate from her core.

Their kiss deepened, soft moans from deep within Charlie reached Bass. He felt how her hips started to move with more need. He lifted her up, and she felt how Bass placed her so he could enter her.

When he filled her completely she let her fingers run through his hair and wrapped her whole body around him. Bass let his hands roam over her legs before he locked Charlie in his arms. Her warm breath in his neck. Her gasps and moans close to his ear. He started to rock her in his arms, the friction that his movements caused, made him groan with more want.

She met every single of his thrusts with her whole body and they started to move as one. Tonight, being together was slow, intense and deep and the room around them started to fill with understanding, closeness, want and need.

Neither of them wanted to let go, so they stayed like this together, sitting on the bed, wrapped up in each other.

Bass felt how she was ready, felt how she was about to come in his arms and with one last deep thrust he put her over the edge. She closed her eyes, held on to him even more with her warm hands and let out a deep moan. Her orgasm seemed to stretch out endlessly. Every time her body rocked against him, he was there to catch her, watching her through her waves of surrender.

' _Bass. Bass.'_ Charlie moaned his name with desire when she felt how her whole body move in waves, feeling her orgasm from her head to her toes.

The waves of her core around his hardness had caused Bass to lose all control. He held the back of her head in one hand and wrapped his free arm around her while he pushed her down on him one more time.

When he came, her name was on his lips, followed by a deep growl that disappeared into her hair. When he came, it was with his arms around her, the soft curves of her breasts against his chest, her heartbeat against his own, and her name on his lips. He came inside of her, inside of the woman who had been able to look right through him, who had seen all of him, and still, she was here, here with him.

_Charlotte._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so it was the memory, a memory of a day that took place earlier in the story, almost at the very beginning, that made Charlie realise... well, Bass is her man. :) Writing this chapter I realised that this black out world is so different then our own. But the fears, the doubts and the pain of love, giving love and feeling loved, acceptance, the pain of maybe having to let go of somebody, not sure if you will make it, even though you really want to, well, I think we can all relate to that. Maybe that's we all hope so very much Charlie and Bass will make it? Thank you so much for reading! Until the next chapter. Love from Love


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank all of you, for leaving me such touching reviews for last chapter. They made me blush, and I am very grateful you took the time to send me a review. It was a very intense chapter, but I felt it was time. They are always Charlie and Bass, and that means, that things are always intense, but there is so much fire and energy between them, and that always connects them in this story. Today, I felt it was time for something 'light' but yet, with fire and passion.
> 
> Thank you again for all your reviews, they are inspiring for the story and to keep on writing. You are amazing!

' _So, what are your plans for today?'_   His voice was the kind of combination of deep hoarse that Charlie never heard in a man. The fact that it was early and he had not that much sleep only added to that hoarseness. And added to her liking him in the morning.

It was sunrise, and he had woken up with blonde locks on his chest and Charlie close. Only this time it was not in a hospital room, but in her bedroom. A place he was very the hell sure he was never going to see from the inside again after him being a giant asshole to her.

After Charlie came in his arms just before sunrise, a feeling he fucking couldn't get enough of, her soft curvy body in his lap, their legs entangled, and he had joined her, falling over the edge with her, they had fallen asleep. He had moved both of them under the covers and had felt how Charlie had chosen to fall asleep against him.

When her breathing in the dark room told him she was falling asleep, he had remembered her words. He had _let_  himself remember her words again.

_My life is better with you in it._

Her words had made him feel exposed and filled with something he could not remember feeling for such a long time, he was not even sure it had been there at one point. Or maybe he could, although that feeling was buried under the burden of long years. When they hell did he made things better? He knew, at some point in his life he had been a son to his parents who had given him a place to call home, a big brother to his sisters while he watched them grow up. He had been a best friend and brother again, a husband to a woman who cared for him. But that was then, that was before.

After everything that had been said last night, after the asshole he had been to her when he had seen her sit next to Connor, he had been sure it was the end. And maybe, no definitely, Charlie would move on. She should. Without him. She should. She would. He had thought that would be the version of Charlie's life that would be better. Somehow she did not agree.

He had shared a memory with her, a part of his life that almost drove him to his knees, simply because there was nothing left to say. An explanation. Another goodbye. Another end. Another promise crushed into the dirt.

He had stood at the other side of her front door in a dark hallway, hearing her at the other side. Knowing how very close and still how very far away she already was.

The look in her eyes had told him she knew he was leaving. When he had kissed her forehead , feeling her soft skin one last time, her scent and warmth close, it had left pushed all the air of his lunges. It was like a ton of bricks were shoved onto his chest in one movement.  _He would never touch her again,_  the one shattering thought that pulsed through him, before he broke off the gentle kiss. He wanted to touch her, but that's all he allowed himself.

He had told Emma years ago, that the Bass she once knew was dead, but when he was around Charlie, he had not been sure anymore. He knew, that after this night, that would chance again.

When he had been finally able to move away from her, dragging himself of the endless stairs away from her front door,  _away from her_ ,  _away from what they had been, away from what they could have been in another time, in another world_ , he had remembered the staircase of a high school a long time ago, when he had turned around for her. Realising that the grip around his throat was the thought of her getting hurt, a vision of one of those sons of bitches killing her.

It was because she was Miles' niece, it was because she had saved his life. It was because he had to be there, because if not, Miles would never help him find his son. That's what he told himself.

Looking back he knew he was in so much fucking trouble the first time he had walked into that room back in Philly. Seeing her protecting her brother, when she had been looking straight into the barrel of Strausser's gun, with such strength and beauty he had not been able to take his eyes away from her. The room had been filled by only her. Not Rachel, not her brother, not Strausser.  _Charlie Matheson._   _Charlotte._

He had felt it again when he carried her in his arms, walking away from that bar in Pottsboro, after she he had passed out. He had held her in his arms, mile after mile. He could still remember her weight and warmth in his arms, her head against his chest, her eyes closed, her body too silent.

But in that staircase, when they were looking for Stay Puft, he had made a decision. He was so sure he had enough of the fucking mess he was in, when he had shot her one last look, irritation and disappointment reflecting in her eyes, with just a hint of panic.

And when he had come back, seeing how she killed of that last Patriot in one fluid motion and not being able to take his eyes of her again when she finished that basted, their eyes had met. He was fucking thankful he had a weapon in his hand to hold onto something.

_You came back._

No yelling, no accusations, no attempt on his life for leaving her the fuck behind, none of that.

Instead she had looked at him, looked at him with a look in her eyes that was so new to him, so very unexpected. He had felt something he had not felt in a long time and something heavy was lingering around them in that empty hallway. That was until some more asshole patriots had showed up.

And now from that hallway, to another, he was here, back at her side, between soft pillows and warm covers, her soft body still close.

'  _I am not sure. I don't need to get to the practice today.'_ Bass was not sure if she was still close to sleep or that something else was of, when she answered his question.

Charlie felt how Bass was letting his fingers run over the skin of her back.

When she had walked down the stairs, not even sure what she would say to him, she had been so unsure if he would turn around, if he would come back this time. But he always seemed to do. For her, he always seemed to come back.

The first time he had come back for her, standing in front of him after she had killed the last remaining patriot, it had been the first time she had seen something in his eyes that chanced something for her for good, in the way she thought of him.

She had never forgotten his look, right before the sounds of approaching patriots across of the hallway had broken the moment. They were forced back into battle mode. He had waited for a second for her to follow, his eyes still on her, like he wanted to make sure she would follow. And after that, he had followed her so close he almost touched her, covering her.

She had always wondered what would have happened if they had not been interrupted. What he had wanted to say.

She remembered Bass not being able to look away from her, the moment they had to find cover in the gymnasium, firing at the patriots across from them. Between the bullets that were blazing around, it was them, connecting, fighting.

And now, he was here. She was wrapped around his muscled and hard body. She was getting familiar with every corner of his body. Every scar.

There was a part in her that was still cautious, she knew in whose arms she was waking up.

But after last night, after he had made her part of a part of a memory from his life, filled with raw pain, she also knew they shared more then she had ever thought possible. They both knew the aching hollowness of loss, they both been into the darkest of night.

She knew things between them never would be easy, but she also knew her life was better with him in it, like she told him, better, not easier. When she had made up her mind about something, she knew herself well enough, there was no way around it anymore.

But that did not mean she was taking any of his crap.

There were more words that needed to be said, but right now. Not today. Last night had been enough for both of them to take. She was laying on his chest, taking in the scent that was so him. She felt the muscles under her fingers. She was waking up and she could feel his body, and more specific, certain parts of his body, waking up with her.

She felt his muscles harden under her fingers when he slowly moved and pinned her in the mattress. Charlie could not fight him, her whole body still lazy with sleep. His whole body was covering hers, while she watched his face turning into a smile, a rare almost never seen smile, that went straight through her.

' _Breakfast._ ' She said in a determined way before she slid away from under him causing him to growl in protest when he had to watch how Charlie put on a grey t shirt, just long enough to cover her curvy ass, not long enough to send his want for her still in overdrive, and she disappeared from out of the bedroom.

 _Fuck breakfast_ , Bass thought. He did not want breakfast. He wanted her. And normally she was not so eager about breakfast either _._ Bass let himself fall back into the pillows behind him and closed his eyes.

All of a sudden it hit him.  _You moron._ Even though this blackout world was so very different then the old world, some things never changed. He was still a guy, she was still a woman.

He had been a total asshole to her, he knew that. That's why he was here, alone, and she was over there in the kitchen, by herself. But hey, he was Sebastian Monroe. Time to make it up to her, and there was no better time than the present, even if it meant dealing with a very pissed Charlie. He already had an apology in mind. He slipped into his pants, and did not bother with the rest. The apology he had in mind did not need a lot of clothing anyway.

Charlie felt an odd mix of feeling more understanding than ever to Bass,  _who he was, who he had been_ , but at the same time she was still pissed at his arrogant behaviour in Connor's room. She had felt his hardness pressed against her belly when he was hovering over her, and part of her wanted nothing more than for him to burry himself inside of her, feel the pleasure he was able to give her.

But another part of her felt irritated, and wanted to get out of bed as soon as possible. That last part had won since she was standing here, in nothing but a small t shirt, bare feet on the kitchen floor, deciding what she wanted to have for breakfast.

That was until she felt strong warm hands around her waist. That was, until she was trapped between her kitchen counter and a very tall Bass.

' _Did I already tell you how beautiful you look this morning?_ ' It was a low sure whisper in her right ear.

' _Did I already told you I am having breakfast. Not you?'_ She snapped at him. Charlie rolled her eyes at him, and let out a deep sigh.

 _This was not going to work_ , she told himself. No matter how deep and low, and hot for that matter, his voice sounded close to her ear,  _this was not going to work_. No matter how she loved his scent, sleep and sweat and her still on his skin,  _this was not going to work._

She was having breakfast, she was getting dressed and so was he. She knew what he was doing. And she was not falling for it.

He pressed a kiss at the back of her neck, his fingers were slowly going over the fabric of her shirt.

 _This was not going to work_. She told herself again.

' _You sure did Charlotte,'_  he paused to pull a lock of hair from her face, gently placing it back behind her ear,  _'I just wanted to see if you needed some help.'_

Another kiss, this time in her neck.  _Why the hell did his lips felt so good, and did she just feel his tongue, tasting her skin?_

_This was not going to..._

His fingers moved ever so slowly to the hem of her shirt, and his fingers slowly moved to the bare skin of her stomach. Lifting her shirt a little bit further her body decided that breakfast was not the priority right now.

Bass was not sure if she was going to surrender to his touch or that she would turn around to tell him to get the hell away when he felt how her body tensed up.

He felt how Charlie leaned into him, when he wrapped his arms closer around hers, one hand disappearing under her shirt and finding its way to her breast. He felt his cock pulsing in his pants, against her warm body.

She still had not looked at him. He started to touch the soft curve of her breast lightly, while his other hand moved around her waist. His mouth was exploring her neck. When he touched her nipple, he felt her body react even more. The soft fabric of her shirt touched his bare chest. Charlie could see his muscles at work, she knew he had no shirt on, and that small thought and the look of his underarms, made her body only react more.

She was standing between his legs. He left his hand to cover her breast, while the other moved from her stomach to her hips and legs. He choose a smooth path with his fingers and was barely touching her skin. Charlie felt the weight of his body leaning subtlety into hers.

Charlie tried to fight it, not wanting to give in but she simply couldn't. The moment she felt how Bass cupped her breast under the fabric of her shirt, the shape of his large hand visible under it when she looked down, she had to fight a moan. But when his other hand started to explore her body, she couldn't fight back the second moan. The soft deep sound filled the kitchen.

Her soft moan seemed to encourage him and pulled his hand down to the soft place between her legs. First Bass teased her, moving slowly to that one spot that would set her on fire.

When he let his hand slide from her stomach and between her legs, Charlie had to hold on to the kitchen counter before her. She felt how Bass made circles around that perfect spot. He was starting slow, his other hand still over her breast.

Another moan escaped from her lips, and without realising it, her own hands reached for him. She placed them around his under arm that was still under her shirt, only the fabric separating her skin from his.

He started to move with more urgency, and let one finger slide inside of her, not able to stop a deep growl that disappeared somewhere in her neck, still moving his hand in such a way that she still felt deep pleasure from two amazing spots.

Bass felt how wet she became under his touch, and let out another deep approving growl. He added more pressure, and felt how she reacted, telling him what she needed. He added another finger into warmth. He could feel the tension running through her, right before she came all around his hand in deep shocks.

Charlie had to fight a deep scream that turned into a forceful moan when she came with his fingers deep inside of her. The kitchen counter before her had vanished for a moment, leaving only him, his broad body behind her and his warm fast breath in her neck. Her orgasm stretched around his fingers, and she felt her heartbeat pulsing through her core. She slowly regained control over her breathing.

' _Come back to bed with me Charlie,'_ There was no arrogance, no smugness in his words. His voice was low but gentle.

She turned around, finally Bass thought, her eyes finding him, and they just stood there for a moment. She answered his question with her lips on his.

When they reached the bed, Bass placed her gently on her side, while his hands started to roam all over her body. And when Charlie reached behind her, slender fingers going over his flat muscled stomach to find his hardness, he let out a deep growl when her fingers wrapped themselves around his cock. He lifted her leg, placed it over his, and he slowly entered her, while he pulled her all the way back to his chest. One arm was finding its way around her waist, and his hand for her breasts again. His mouth in her neck, he disappeared completely into her. He gave her time to adjust to him filling her. Their rhythm started out slow.

Charlie tilted her head back, crashing his mouth onto his. He felt her hunger, that was as large as his lust for her, while he started to pick up the speed. Their rhythm became deeper, faster.

Her ass was warm and soft against his stomach, and he felt her skin covered in sweat more and more, her moans reaching him.

He was not sure if he could control himself one more second. But when he felt how Charlie came around him he knew he really fucking couldn't anymore.

This time, the second time she came this morning, his own name finally reached him _. Fuck_. The soft  _Bass_ , from a fucking beautiful out of breath Charlie.

When the waves of her orgasm slowed down, he pulled out of her. Her arms had reached behind her and were draped around his neck , her name in a low rumble filled the room, while he came over the soft curves of her hip, her lips on his upper arm, in a warm soft embrace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, this chapter was...different... :) I wanted to bring another kind of passion between them back. Hope you liked it! Of course, after last chapter, Bass and Charlie needed their very own chapter again. Until the next chapter! Love from Love


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving me such kind reviews, I adore them, as always! :) Today I have a brand new chapter for you! There will be a confrontation, two confrontations to be honest...

Connor was recovering slowly. There had been some progress, but the hours Bass spent next to his kid's bed were long ones. When Connor did speak, the words did not form a coherent story. Blanchard had sent his ass back to the hospital with the order to make his son his first priority when he went into the office a couple of days later. He added to that order that Matheson had to work just a little bit harder to cover his ass, turning his head to Miles.

Miles had only nodded towards the door and told Bass to get the hell out and get to his kid before he would change his mind.

Bass spent a lot of hours in the small hospital room, trying to talk to his kid, trying to reach Connor. But his kid was still not lucid enough to give him any kind of answer to the question on his mind. What the hell happened and why did Connor came back? Where was Neville? The deep pale look on his face was disappearing day by day, and only little life seemed to return to his kid. But Doc seemed to be content with his progress, speaking encouraging words to Bass. As long as Connor was alive, so was Bass.

To Bass his surprise, Charlie had appeared into the room on a late afternoon. The last light of the day had been falling into the small room, casting shadows on the walls around him. Miles had stopped by earlier this morning.

Bass had sat down on the same chair on the same spot, his elbows on his knees when she simply entered the room. They shared a look before she walked over and pulled a chair next to him. Instead of dark jealousy, this time he felt supported by her presence.

She kept him company on a daily basis. He knew he fucking did not deserve that, but still, here she was. Keeping him company, spending many hours in silence, sitting at Connor's bedside. Waiting for something, anything, he was not sure anymore was going to happen.

They had not been apart one single night since then. It was another morning, and Bass had plans to step by Miles to get some things sorted out that had to be dealt with before he would be heading to Connor.

Charlie was looking at a busy day at her grandfather's practice. The town was already full of life, the small market on the main street attracting a lot of people. The sky was clear, a pale kind of blue but it had promise of a clear day. The morning light was bright.

When they were almost out of the door, Bass pulled her close and leaned in to give her a slow kiss, while they were both standing in the hall of her small apartment building.

Charlie shoved Bass against his chest and away from her in a playful light way.  _'Outside, now. Or else I will be late.'_

' _Wouldn't want to be responsible for that, Charlotte,'_  he said in a gentle tone.

Bass smiled at her, looking at the way her lush lips turned into a smile. When they walked out of the door his hand was at the nape of her neck, warm and steady. He was just about to ask her if he would see her somewhere during the day when a familiar voice reached them. It put him on edge immediately and he could feel Charlie tense up under the touch of his hand.

' _Charlie?'_ Her name was spoken in a questioning and almost accusing way.

They both turned their heads. Charlie looked directly at her mother who was standing only a couple of feet away from them, watching them with big eyes, icy lines and sharp tension, before she turned her eyes to Bass. Before she turned her eyes to his hand on her and her apartment behind her.

' _What is going on here?'_ It wasn't a question, it were demanding words, spoken in an haughty way.

' _What is going on here is something between me and Bass, and is none of your business.'_ Charlie tried to stay calm, but there was an edge to her words.

' _Charlie, are you telling me you are with this...with HIM now?'_ Rachel's mouth twitched with nerves, while she shot Bass another icy loathing look.

' _I don't think you are the one who can judge us mom.'_

' _Are you really that stupid Charlie?'_ Her mother's words were an echo from the past, and were not the first time they reached Charlie.

' _You watch your words Rachel,'_  He growled at Rachel. Bass had moved closer to Rachel, a low warning in his voice. His sharp jaw lines were visible. The way she was talking to Charlie was setting his blood on fire. The dark rage already coming out of its corner and spreading fast.

' _Bass, you pathetic son of a bitch, you get the hell away from my daughter.'_  Rachel hissed at him. It reminded him of words she had thrown in his face before, words that almost had made him lose control.

Charlie could hear Bass his breath hitch in his throat, she felt the rage building up, Bass standing so very close to her. She looked at Bass and for one moment she was not sure what he would do. Charlie was sure he was going to take one step closer to her mom, but he seemed to change his mind.

' _Say whatever the hell you want to me Rachel, but as long as Charlie wants me around, I will be around.'_  His voice was turning dead calm but his eyes filled with rage. How very much he wanted to, he was not going to give Rachel the pleasure of him losing his shit over her words again. She could go to hell.

 _'Charlie how? Even if you know about Philly?'_  Rachel tried one more time.

 _'Yes mom, Philly is there. But it is the past. And that's where that stays.'_ Charlie said in a determined way.

' _I understand this is a shock for you, I know about the past. But are you not with the man that was there in Philly too? That had his part in that past too? Bass was not the only person who build and lead that republic. Bass was not the only one who was responsible for so much you always throw in his face. Miles was there too. And yet, that never stopped YOU from being with him. That never stopped you from wanting him, even if you were still with dad.'_

 _'Charlie,'_ Rachel said _, 'that's not the same...Miles..'_

_'It is the same mom, for me, it is the same. Bass is so much more than his past for me.'_

Bass looked at Charlie. This woman. Had she any idea what she had just said, had she any idea how much her words were reaching him, how much they meant to him?

' _Mom, this is my life. These are my choices. I feel, after all those years, I can finally chose what I want, take care of what I need. These are the things I need to figure out.'_ Both woman stood in front of each other.

 _'You really should go. Now. I mean it.'_ Charlie felt how her whole body was trembling slightly. This was not a conversation, like so many times before. This was her mother demanding, this was her mother not understanding.

Rachel watched her daughter in utter disbelieve and shock. She threw Bass one more deadly look. Without even saying one more word, Rachel turned around. Charlie felt how Bass moved his hand to her lower back.

' _Charlie, are you okay?'_  Bass watched Charlie. He could see and feel how she was shaking. It was not the first time he wished he could take her far away from anything messed up. She was looking at Rachel, who was turning a corner before she was out of their sight.

When she did not answer him, he gently put his hand under her chin and lifted her face to him. He hated Rachel, but he hated it even more when Rachel hurt Charlie like this. The last thing he wanted to cause problems between Charlie and her family because of him. Charlie's every word had reached him, only adding to the realisation how much she was becoming for him, to him.

' _I think I will be, just give me a minute. It's just...this happens over and over again. She does not want to talk to me, she wants to be right. '_ Charlie heard her own voice dangerously close to a breaking point. She shook her head.

Bass knew Charlie good enough by now to see how much hurt she tried to hide, but to him, it was all too clear. He also knew her good enough to know by now he had to let her go, giving her time to deal with it on her own. Did Rachel really not fucking see how much Charlie tried to build something with her again? Did Really not see how much she caused with her words?

So he kissed her slowly,trying to put everything he could not tell her yet in that one kiss, his warm breath against her lips.  _'See you later?'_  His tone was low but soothing at the same time. For a moment he touched the inside of her palm, bringing her back in the here and now.

' _Definitely,'_  a small smile reached him before they both parted ways.

* * *

There was a not so subtle sound at the other side of his front door. Loud pounding, like a fist crashed down against the wood on the other side. And then again. And again. The sound reached all the way through his apartment.

Bass moved away from Charlie. They had just managed to get out of bed after a long day at the hospital. Charlie had come over to his place after work and their passion had been a little rushed but intense as always. He had been slowly kissing her, and when the kiss had been growing more with need and passion, he was just deciding if he would throw her stunning body back on the bed to explore her body all over again. That was until he heard the crashing sounds on the other side of the apartment. Both him and Charlie reached for their weapons, Bass swiftly grabbed his pants and put them on, and he moved in front of Charlie when he walked to the front door.

' _Bass, you son of a bitch, I know you are in there. Open up. Now.'_

When Bass heard Miles' voice, his first reaction was to put his gun down. That was until he heard the sheer aggression in his brother's voice and remembered Rachel's words from this morning.  _Fuck._

He exchanged a look with Charlie. The fact that she was standing behind him in his shirt, and his shirt only, was not going to help this situation one damn bit.

When Bass opened the door he looked directly into Miles' very best pissed as hell face. He knew that face. Dark eyes, a straight face filled with contained anger. This was not going to be good.

_Oh fuck. Again._

' _Just spoke to Rachel. What in the hell Bass,'_  Miles started, stepping closer to Bass, his eyes stabbing into his brothers eyes. Both men almost chest to chest.

' _I'm going to kill you Bass,'_  Miles looked like he was ready finish him.  _'You and me, outside, now.'_

' _Miles,'_  Bass tried to calm him down, his tone low, his eyes on Miles. Looking at his brothers body language, all hell was about to break loose and his living room might not be the best place for that.

Charlie looked from her uncle to Bass and back to Miles again. This was not the first time she had to jump between the two men. A distant memory of when she just came back with Bass to Willoughby crossed her mind. Miles was looking the same not amused way, only with some more deadly intent in his eyes. She crossed the room and tried to place herself between Bass and Miles. Although she really wished she was wearing just a little bit more then Bass his shirt so close to her uncle.

Then both Charlie and Bass watched in surprise when Miles face chanced.

' _Did you feel that , you idiot?'_  Miles threw in Bass face. Bass mouth opened just a little bit in response, genuine confusing on his face. Charlie raised an eyebrow at Miles, while she was standing next to Bass and across from Miles.

When she saw the look in her uncle's eyes chance just a little from ready to murder Bass to amusement, she felt the tension disappear from her body.

' _Good, because this was a nice little preview of things to come if you hurt her, in any way. I will fucking kill you. I will be back at this door, and I will fucking kill you for real. Not sure how yet, but it will be slow and painful. So you remember this moment you dick.'_

Then Miles paused for a moment, taking his intense gaze away from his best friend and shot Charlie one look.

' _That is, if Charlie won't kill you first.'_

Charlie felt a smile forming around her lips. She watched how Bass face relaxed just a little.

' _Okay then brother,'_ the blue of his eyes lightened up for a second, and a small grin was forming on his face, although his whole body was still tensed up, ready for anything.

Miles could still be very convincing at this, he thought with a smirk. His heartbeat was slowly returning to normal.

' _Well, that concludes my speech I promised Rachel I would give you two morons. It would really be freaking good if you put on some pants and shirts now,'_ he nodded at a pant less Charlie and a shirtless Bass, while he walked into the small living room and straight to the kitchen. He was really trying not to think about walking in on his niece wearing only one of Bass his shirts.

' _Meanwhile, I will check if you have some decent whiskey around here.'_

Charlie disappeared into the bed room to get properly dressed, while Bass grabbed his shirt from a kitchen chair, the place where it had ended yesterday evening after both Charlie and him had decided desert would both of them, very naked and very sweaty.

Miles grabbed the bottle from a shelve and nodded at it in approval.

' _So, you are okay with this man?'_ Bass pulled the shirt over his head.

' _You mean if I'm okay to find my niece half dressed in your apartment?'_

Bass let his breath out through his teeth and let his hand go through his hair.

'  _No, the hell I am not.'_  Miles opened the bottle and was ready to dive in.

' _But this is Charlie, ever tried her to stop her from something she wanted to do?'_

Both men exchanged a grin. Miles took a first swig from the bottle and reached over to gave Bass the bottle.

' _Wouldn't dream of that.'_  Bass said with an almost gentle look in his eyes, his eyes turned to his bedroom where Charlie disappeared into a moment ago.

' _But Bass, I meant it, if you hurt her...'_ Miles sounded serious.

' _You can fucking kill me brother.'_

' _Oh hell, you really care for her don't you Bass?'_  Miles knew his brother well enough to know he was a goner.

Bass took a swig from the strong content before he nodded at Miles, a warm grin on his face.

' _Give me that bottle back Bass, think I need some more.'_  Well, Miles thought, here they were. His best friend, well he could think that out loud right, because hell, it was the truth, with his niece. His niece that marched all the way over to Vegas to end the moron had now decided there were other things she wanted to do with him. Yes, he really needed more of this whiskey.

When Charlie walked back into the living room, she found both man at the kitchen table, drinking.

' _Just limit down the whole devouring each other in front of me thing.'_ Miles said to her the moment she reached the table.

' _Or better yet, don't do it at all, I am begging you.'_  Charlie had to laugh at Miles.

' _What do you think Charlie?'_  Bass teased her.

' _I think we better listen to Miles. Better for his blood pressure and all.'_ She shot Miles a fabulous smirk, challenge in her eyes.

Without even realising it, it felt like there was a huge stone lifted from her chest. Miles knew. She already realised he knew something was happening between her and Bass, but whatever it was they were right now, it was not in the open yet. She had feared the day Miles would find out, she had feared whatever would or could happen when he had.

But at the same time, she did not want to hide this, whatever it was she and bass were exploring, from her uncle. Not after everything they had been through. Not after what he had come to mean for her. And now he knew. And know he was sitting here, across from Bass, sharing a bottle with them. She felt a warmth inside of her at the sight of both men.

She remembered the picture she had found a while ago, on Bass his desk. She remembered both men in that picture, and she was glad, that somehow, time had not faded everything away. That time had not changed anything.

' _Why are you not more surprised?'_  Charlie wanted to know.

' _Because kid, I've seen this coming for a long time now. You might have called me a freaking dinosaur once, but that doesn't mean I'm too old to not see things.'_

' _Doesn't mean I cannot see something good in this messed up world of ours,'_ he continued, seriously. So seriously, it took Charlie by surprise for a moment. She looked at her uncle for a moment before she smiled.

' _Still something left for me in that bottle ?'_  Charlie asked with bright blue eyes, while she grabbed a chair and joined Bass and her uncle around the table.

' _Sure kid,'_  Miles handed her the bottle, giving her a small wink.

So, here they were again, the three of them. But things were better, and so far from that afternoon under that bridge not far from Willoughby, when it had also been the three of them., when she just came back with Bass after weeks on the road.

' _To my favourite almost grown up Generals,'_  she toasted with a mocking tone, before she placed the bottle to her lips. Miles shook his head and smiled, while Bass watched Charlie and joined his brother, his smile spreading all over his face.

' _I'm not your favourite, Charlie?'_ Bass asked her, teasing her.

Charlie rolled her eyes up at him.  _'You see, still a couple of twelve year olds.'_ She put the bottle for the second time to her lips. Bass always had the good stuff.

By the time it was getting dark, another bottle was found in the small kitchen. Bass made sure there was a fire that lit up and warmed the living room while Charlie found them something to eat. The sky outside went from blue to golden tones.

And when the afternoon was gliding into early night, without the three of them even noticing, the table in front of them was filled with dinner, their glassed were full and the room was filled with stories from a time long ago. Stories Charlie could not get enough off,  _childhood memories_ ,  _birthdays, drunken nights, their times at the marines_ , both men kidding around, doing their best to get an even better story out then the other.

Bass could not remember the last time he sat down with his brother, telling tall stories, and looking in Miles' relaxed face, a drink in his brothers hand that was fucking so much like the Miles he once knew.

Between the laughter and the bullshit stories he could net tear his eyes away from Charlie. She was simply beautiful, her cheeks blushed, a warm smile all over her face.

Charlie relaxed into her chair, and without even truly realising it at the moment, felt content and warmth in a way she had not felt in such a long time.

Tonight was a good night. Tonight she shared a bottle with two men, who were once only a memory. A memory of her uncle and his best friend, standing at the front door of a house she barely remembered. A memory of the three of them in Miles his car, singing to a song she could not remember anymore. Those days had been good. Good to her. Somehow they had both found their way back from that memory to this night, with her. And wasn't it ironic that she went to Chicago to get Miles, and that she had brought Bass back with her?

She realised that what would happen from here on, she did not want Miles and Bass to become a memory ever again. She wanted them here, with her. Alive, talking, laughing.

Tonight was a good night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for reading! As always, I am so happy you are still following the story! Until the next chapter...Love from Love


	29. Chapter 29

Bass knew Charlie, the Matheson she was, could hold her liquor. There had been a fair amount of Whiskey available to the three of them, but he had seen her drink more. Yet, when hours passed, Miles, Charlie and himself around a simple kitchen table, he had seen the change in her.

There had been a red blush on her cheeks, a glow on her skin and her face had been relaxed. During stories and the joking around, Miles was determined not to dial down on the let's embarrass Bass stories, her eyes got a little bit heavier.

Without her even noticing, Bass and Miles exchanged a look. A smile appearing on his brother's face.

' _Well, I think I am going to call it a night kid_ ,' Miles said, turning to Charlie,  _'before I drink all this moron's Whiskey.'_

Charlie gave him her best grin.  _'Wouldn't want that to happen Miles, or else I am stuck with a very moody Monroe.'_

Miles put down the empty glass on the wooden table before him before he nodded his head and laughed. Charlie looked lighter then she had in a very long time. Bass looked relaxed. Although he really wished his brother would limit down all the looks he shot his niece. When he was almost out of the door he turned his head to the both of them with a big sigh.

' _Well, even with a lot of whiskey this is all kinds of weird,'_  Miles said drily.

 _C_ harlie had to giggle at the clear discomfort in her uncle's voice.

' _What the hell, did she just, giggle?'_  Miles nodded at Charlie.

Both man could not help but laugh at her.

' _She sure did brother. Who would have thought we would see this day, right?'_

' _Hey, stop making fun of me.'_  Charlie said, in a mock agitated tone, from the other side of the room.

' _You kids have a good night.'_ Miles said, when he walked out of the door.

' _Does this mean you are on board of this whole thing?'_ Bass said, only half joking, to see if he could piss Miles of just a little bit more.

Miles closed the door behind him and yelled with his usual signature sarcasm at him from the other side of the door.  _'No!'_

Bass locked the door and turned around, a grin on his face, finding a very almost asleep Charlie on the kitchen table. He blew out the lamp on the table.

Charlie felt warm, muscles ached from laughing, and that was a nice change from all the aching from all the fighting they had to go through. She felt slightly dizzy and her whole body was heavy, in a very good way. For all she cared, this table would be an excellent pillow.

A low voice close to her ear and a warm hand on her back thought otherwise.

' _Let's get you to bed, baby.'_  Bass whispered in her ear, waking her body up just enough to realise, somehow, somewhere far away, how he had called her.

Bass heard his own words, and he wondered how naturally they had rolled of his lips. He had not called anybody that in forever. He was not sure what Charlie was going to do. Even in her current state, he knew she could still give him hell.

' _Did you just call me baby, Bass?'_  She lifted her head towards him, her eyes almost closed.

' _Bad?'_

' _No.'_  Charlie answered. Bass watched how a smile spread around her lips.

Charlie felt Bass' smile somewhere in her hair. Her eyes got heavier and heavier.

Bass lifted her arm around his neck and lifted her from out of the wooden kitchen chair. He had placed her on his bed, his hand guiding her head towards the pillow, when she was almost asleep.

' _Not bad at all.'_  She muttered softly.

Charlie felt a warm hand around her cheek before she felt how the cool fabric of the pillow touched her skin. She felt how her boots were removed. The images of the stories told around the kitchen table by her uncle and Bass swirling around her in a familiar soothing and calming way. The last thing she remembered was a broad chest and muscled arms around her, before slowly fell asleep.

When Bass felt her breathing becoming steady and slow, he had moved towards Charlie, covering her with a blanket. Her curves found their way against his body, and he could smell the sweet scent of her hair and whiskey, right before he drifted off.

* * *

 

When Charlie had to listen to her mother the morning the day before when she had run into her with Bass just behind her, her words had reached her like little tiny bullets, although she did not want to let her mother, or Bass for that matter, know this.

Charlie knew this day would come. But she had wished that if would have stayed away just a while longer. Bass and her together were not a secret, but for now, it had been him and her. Just them. It had been all hers. No unasked opinions.

The busy day in the practice that had followed had made her almost forgotten about the wounds those little bullets had made, and the following night, with Miles and Bass around Bass his kitchen table, had given her room to breathe, to be. To drink, listen, laugh and see how Bass and Miles could be around each other, with such a strong brotherly bound.

But her mother's words stayed with her.

_Charlie, are you telling me you are with this...with HIM now?_

_Are you really that stupid Charlie?'_

They were repeating themselves over and over again, until Charlie could not ignore them anymore. Her instincts for survival, in any way, had told her to distance herself from these kind of moments, fast. They left her too vulnerable.

But on the road, things seemed so much easier, so much easier than in this little town. On the road it was go, walk, survive, find food, fight, never show weakness and start all over again on a new day.

Was she? Was she really that stupid for being with him? She knew the answer to that. It was simple. No.

But the rest, was not so simple. The past was not simple. Everything that had happened between them from day one, and even before that, had not been simple.

Being with Bass was not simple.

But it had been good too.

It had started out with challenge. Standing so close on a dusty road between trees, an unconscious bounty hunter on the ground near them. Standing so close, aware of how much his mouth was within reach, his breath was warm on her face. Teasing was not far ahead. More challenge followed. Meaningful moments where they had both saved each other lives.

And then, the night of Miles birthday, his broad shoulders in that black leather jacket, she in that dress, they had crossed a line. His mouth on hers. His hands around her waist. Bass inside of her, around her, passion, pleasure. Giving into something they had both fought between all the other battles for so long.

And now, although neither of them had talked about it, they had become more. They both knew it. It was more than hungry nights and raw need.

They both had lost to much to dare to feel it, to say it, to explore this.

She felt for this man, she felt for Sebastian Monroe. Monroe.

Bass.

She could say otherwise, but it would be a lie.

But was it enough?

But this man, had plunged head first into darkness, into madness, into a mindset of kill, destroy, control and hunger for power. His decisions had caused her so much. Not in the way she had once believed, blaming him for anything and everything, consuming rage raging through her.

But yet, it was still there.

The truth of things that had been.

When she had watched Bass leave for the hospital a little earlier, she had walked into the direction of her apartment. She had gotten her knifes and some other weapons she always took with her when she would walk out of the town walls. She still always wanted to be prepared. That was the way Miles had trainer her, and it was now her way of life. Always be prepared, always think ahead.

When she walked out of the door she ran into Aaron, Priscilla and baby Zoe. The little girl was growing every day, or so it seemed. Her little smile that reached Charlie when she saw her, gave Charlie only one choice. Smile back.

' _Hey kiddo,'_  Aaron greeted her, nodding at the knife strapped around her waist,  _'on your way out?'_

She shot Aaron a quick smile, nodding a yes back at him to answer his question, while little Zoe's fingers wrapped themselves around her own. Priscilla laughed at Zoe.

' _You do get bigger every day, don't you little girl?_ ' Charlie said softly to Zoe, while she played with little fingers.

' _She sure does.'_  Priscilla answered her, a warm smile on her face.

' _Before you know it, I have to chase away boys away from her,'_  Aaron said with a sigh and a frown, before Zoe stretched out her hands to catch his beard.

' _That hurts more than you think it would,'_  he said to Charlie.

' _Already strong,'_  Charlie smiled _, 'good for you Zoe.'_

' _We don't see a whole lot of you Charlie,'_ Aaron looked in her direction, while Zoe was still grabbing his beard, ' _Boys chasing you as well?'_

Charlie felt her cheeks fire up. She knew Aaron was just teasing her, or maybe, did he know?

' _You have to forgive him Charlie,_ ' Priscilla intervened,  _'for being so direct. I think we will let Charlie be on her way now, won't we?'_  Priscilla let her hand glide over the little girl's soft hair.  _'You know you are welcome for dinner anytime you want right?'_

Charlie let her fingers go over Zoe's soft cheek.

' _I will stop by soon you guys. I promise.'_

And with a dinner invitation and goodbye's she was on her way again.

_Charlie, are you telling me you are with this...with HIM now?_

_Are you really that stupid Charlie?'_

It was still early and on her way towards the town walls, while she greeted familiar faces. When Charlie finally walked under the town gate, she felt she could breathe again.

Tall grass, trees, the sounds of the small town behind her disappearing. She set a firm pace, boots firmly on the ground, and felt the sun on her face.

Putting distance between her and the town walls, give her also more distance between her mother's words and herself.

Being on the road again, it helped.

How could she be, completely, with him, with Bass? How could they both be, surrounded, haunted almost, by their past. How could they have a future when that past was always and everywhere present?

Their roads had crossed at a point in time where they had both been somebody else. They had changed. But change did not mean earlier things were erased.

Could she be completely with him?

She had to figure this one out, all on her own. The answers had to be found somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie's point of view was the main focus in the second part of this chapter. Right now, there are some things that need to be explored and to be felt. Answers need to be found. And that is something, for now, Charlie has to on her own. Wind in her hair, sun on her face. Next chapter will start with Bass point of view! Love from Love


	30. Chapter 30

Bass knew Charlie. The shadow that fell over her eyes when they had run into Rachel the day before, had never completely left her.

He had enjoyed every minute he got to spend with his brother and Charlie the night before. Miles knew about them, Rachel surely had filled him in on all the details. Now his brother knew and he was glad, because fuck, he had hated him not knowing.

His brother had found out and somehow he was still standing on his feet, not missing very vital body parts. Not only did Miles know, but there had been good Whiskey and lost memories had been brought back to the surface. Hell, it had been a good night.

When the sun had woken up the town, and they had breakfast, Charlie had told him she was going out. The area around Willoughby was safer than it had been in months, and he knew Charlie could take care of herself, but there was always something inside of him that wished she wouldn't go out there on her own.

Guilt was still there about that afternoon almost a year ago, when he had enough of Rachel's wining, and he had ended up in a confrontation from hell with her. At that moment Charlie had been out there, guiding Neville away from their camp, only to end up with his gun right in her face. Rage was never far behind the guilt. If he would ever see the Neville son of a bitch again, he was dead.

Charlie looked like she was somewhere else, and he had an idea where that place might be. It was a place he found himself spending more and more time in it as well. He knew how he felt about her, he knew what he would do for her. From the moment he made his way back to her in that school, he had known for sure. From that moment he had known, that when it came to Charlotte Matheson, he was a goner. Big time.

The dance between them of the intense smouldering locking of eyes, getting closer and her kicking him out again, with her eyes, her words, her actions had him locked in a steady grip since then.

He thought he knew how she felt, she never told him but her actions told him every time. But he was not a complete idiot, although his brother liked to point out otherwise every damn change he got. He knew what he had done, he knew who he had been, or who he still could be on his worst day.

The past. The long years in Philly, where everything had escalated to a point where there was nobody or nothing left.

Bass gave Charlie her space, but when she was almost out of the door he reached out to her waist and pulled her close in a slow movement. He tilted her head towards him with his fingers and kissed her slowly. His fingers caressed her chin in a slight brush. After the kiss her forehead stayed against the scruff of his beard for a moment.

He wanted to hell her he was here but the words just did not come out when Charlie stepped away from him.

He grabbed his jacket and they were out of the door. Charlie turned towards the main street of the town while he made his way towards the hospital.

He wanted to see Connor, Cooper had told him yesterday that his kid was lucid enough to talk. Doc did give Bass a warning to take things slow. Connor's concussion was slowly healing, but too much stimulants were not wise at this point. He was fucking thankful his son had made it through, that he seemed on his way to recovery. He really was. But as he took a left and was almost at the hospital, the memory of the day his kid had stepped back to let Neville and Scanlon take their shots at him, was becoming more clear with every step. The memory of hollow pain when he rode away from his kid, sharp. He remembered what it was like to look into his son's eyes, the betrayed and dark look in Connor's eyes when they had talked for the last time.

When he walked into Connor's room, he found him awake. He looked stronger, sitting up against the pillows who were put against the head of the bed. Dark curls, simple blue shirt. On the small nightstand next to the bed were some leftovers from breakfast.

' _Hey,'_  He started, hesitation in his movements. He chose to sit next to Connor's bed , leaning into the window sill.

' _Hey,'_  Connor answered him, his voice hoarse.

' _Good to see you are doing better, kid.'_ Bass looked at his son, it still hurt like hell how much of Emma he saw in his kid. There was silence between both men before Bass spoke. ' _Connor,_  w _hat happened to you?'_

Connor did not answer. They were back at the day where they had met for the last time. Bass had desperately tried to convince Connor to come back with him. Questions were flying through his head.  _What happened to his kid? Why did he come back? Where did he get hurt? Where the hell was Neville?_   _Where did they stand?_  When Bass realised Connor was not going to answer he spoke again.

' _Connor, I promised you something in Mexico. I promised you the republic. '_

' _I gave up my life to follow you.'_ Connor's voice sounded bitter, interrupting his dad, ' _I gave you a chance leaving everything behind that day.'_

' _I know Connor, I know.'_ It had been the truth, he had promised Connor the Republic, the only thing he could give his kid, after so many years of his absence in his life. He had been so sure he had wanted to take the whole damn thing back, this time together with him, and maybe, in the future it was going to happen. But not in the way he had envisioned back then. He knew it could never be the same. He did not want it to be ever be the same.

' _But the trust Miles placed in me to bring back Davis to our meeting point, was important to me, it mattered to me. But that doesn't mean you don't matter to me too. You are my son, my blood.'_

Connor's eyes filled with fire, hearing Miles his name.  _'I had a life. I build that life after Miles came and took me away from her. Away to a country that was not mine, away to people I hardly knew. It was not my choice.'_

Bass tried to swallow but it was like his throat was closing. From under the bitterness he could hear pain, pain he all knew too well.  _Shit._  It had been Miles that had taken him away from Emma. It had been his brother who had taken him away from his home, his life. Only to lose everything again, no family, no direction, nothing. Nothing and then Nunez. And he knew damn well, how he himself had reacted once to that darkness.

Connor looked away from his dad. He remembered that day, the memory still sharp even when so much time had passed. He had tried to understand what had happened, why he had to leave his home and life behind, why he had to go with a man his mother seemed to trust, be he never met. He remembered the vague panic when he realised he was going to leave her behind, that she was not going with them.

When he had seen Miles again in that Bar in Mexico, it all came back with full force. He had quickly felt the strong connection between his dad and Miles, but he felt, he was second best, yet again. It had been the reason he basically told his father to go hell when Miles went missing after Austin. It was not like he had not seen the worry on his dad's face, or felt for Charlie when face with the possibility she would lose somebody important to her. But the dark rage, the dark insecurity, the broken promise was what stayed behind and fuelled his actions.

' _And when I got there, it want all to hell too. It was Nunez who gave me a new home, he made me part of his business.'_

Bass pressed his lips into a thin line. He saw the darkness in his kid, he saw his pain and hurt. It was looking into a damn mirror right now. He understood now. The Republic was all that Connor had to hold on to, a part of himself inside his son that was eager for power, a part of himself he had passed on to Connor. He felt like he had chosen Miles over him, chosen him over the man that had taken him away from Emma.

But Bass had not chosen his kid over Connor. The trust Miles had placed in him that day had meant the fucking world to him, but his son was everything. Not the republic, not power, not control. His son. Family. He wished he could make Connor see this. They were wasting time. Family could be ripped apart at any fucking point, just like that. He just was not sure if there was anything left for his kid an himself.

But Connor was his blood, his family and there was nothing Bass would not do for family.

' _Connor, I am sorry. Believe me, if I could things differently, I would have.'_  Bass voice was low, close to a breaking point. Over his clear blue eyes came a wash of grey tears.

He wanted to have his son in his life, he so very much wanted do. But this was not only about him. He had other people to think about, to keep safe.

' _You have a home with me, you will always have. But what happened the last day we saw each other, I can't happen again. Be pissed at me, be pissed at Miles. I don't care. I can take that. But you can't be who you were that afternoon.'_

Bass paused for a moment, while he looked at the floor before him. Then he looked at Connor again.

He spoke those last words with hurt in his chest, the words almost ripping him apart _. Please don't let it just be about the republic. God. Please._

Bass saw how Connor close off. He pushed himself away from the window sill and stood at the end of his son's bed.

' _You get some rest now. I will check on you tomorrow again okay?'_ Bass tried. His tone was calmer and low.

Connor did not answer him, the younger man was looking out of the window. Strong hard lines in his face. When Bass was almost out of the door he heard Connor's voice, the edge and sharpness had disappeared from his voice. Bass turned head towards Connor.

' _Okay.'_ Connor answered.

It was the look in his kid's eyes that gave Bass some hope for the both of them, when he walked through the hall of the small hospital.

* * *

Charlie leaned into a large tree. It was almost sunset and her stomach was growling. She could feel how the sun had kissed her skin, she could smell the trees and ground around here, while little insects were buzzing somewhere over her head. It was late afternoon and the colours around her were soft. She had done a lot of thinking, a lot of not thinking and staring. A lot of walking. A lot of being alone. She felt more calm, more grounded. She realised that yes, she did not have all the anwers.

But for now, she knew she that all the things they had been through had opened up something inside of her she wasn't sure she had ever felt before.  _He_  made her feel like she had never felt before. Bass brought out a feeling in her, that made her want to stay, stay with him, even if the past and everything around them should make her want to leave. It was this exact contradiction that had made her ask her mother to spare his life once.

When she walked through the main street, she had two choices. Go left to her own home or keep on walking a little while longer for his. She did not go left.

He was not home, while she left herself in with the key once gave her.

' _For emergencies,'_  he had said with a low deep voice, holding the key right in front of her eyes, while a wide grin appeared on his face , that told her exactly what emergencies he was thinking about.

She had looked at the key and had grinned back at him right before she had quickly snapped the key out of his hands. She had kissed him softly, the hairs of his beard close to her mouth and cheek.

She decided that his whiskey supply and her body suddenly aching for him was a real emergency after the long day outside, dust and sweat on her tanned skin. But first things first, she could use a bath.

When Bass walked up to the front door of his apartment, lost in thought, he heard soft noises at the other side of the door. He reached for his weapon, and opened the door with a soft click. He carefully placed his boots inside, gun pointed into the living room.

He looked right into Charlie's surprised face, wearing only a simple shirt. His shirt. Her skin was glowing and red.

' _Hell, Charlie I thought you were fucking robbing the place,_ ' he put his gun down, grinning at her while his shoulders relaxed again.

' _You mean the kind of robber that sneaks in, takes a long warm bath and walks around in your apartment barely dressed?'_ she shot back at him, raising one eyebrow.

Bass closed the door behind him, placing the gun on the small table to his right.

' _My favourite kind.'_  He grunted at her, walking over to her, the grin from earlier disappearing, while he was imagining her smooth naked skin in warm water, her breasts slowly submerging under the water.

His look was not lost on Charlie.

' _So, I missed the bath huh?_ ' He was almost pouting, while he looked distracted in the direction of his bathroom before he directed his eyes back at Charlie again, her shirt clinging to her breasts, her skin still moist from earlier.

The sight of that was not lost on Charlie either.

Bass took one step closer and when he reached her he put one of his arms around her waist. He moved them both against the wall between the door and the fireplace. Charlie. Charlie felt how her back was pressed against the wall by Bass.

' _You know Charlotte,'_ he slowly moved his hand between her legs, his fingers moving upwards, _'breaking and entering_ ,' he put a low almost hoarse emphasis on the word entering that made Charlie gasp for air while he pushed his fingers between her already wet folds and inside of her warm heat,  _' is a very, very serious matter_.' He held his fingers still, there was no playfullness in his words, no teasing, while he watched her with deep blue eyes.

The clear lust that was written in them made Charlie moan, her body still adjusting to him entering her so suddenly. She tilted her head back at him, eyes half closed with want while Bass started to move his fingers again, making a movement with his finger inside of her that caused a wave of wetness deep within her.

Bass had Charlie pinned against the wall, and when he had moved two fingers inside her tight core, he felt his cock react. A shot of raw lust went through him when he let out a deep grunt by the way her walls were grabbing his fingers.

He did not kiss her, he just locked eyes with her while he started to move his fingers, watching her every reaction to his touch. He teased her, before he went to the spot inside of her he knew would make her come fast. The fact that he could hear how wet she was around him, made his hunger for her explode. He pushed her in an even more firm way against the wall, her breasts against his chest, while Charlie started to moan, the look in her eyes telling him she was close.

Charlie did not move, she couldn't, even if she wanted to. Thinking about how to move proved to be difficult, but the way Bass was pinning her down left no room to even move an inch. She fisted his shirt in her hands. It made her swirl until she felt how her body flew over the edge, coming all around his fingers and Bass intense eyes fixed on her.

Bass was still watching her, adding a second arm around her waist to catch her, to hold her. There was a small shiver going through her, goose bumps appearing on her skin.

' _Your turn,'_ Charlie said, when she came back to Bass' arms. She felt how her heartbeat picked up again.

' _Not saying no to that one, Charlotte.'_

She did not know why exactly, but she felt slightly nervous. She wanted to give him what he just gave her, but in a new way. She heard about it, she had wanted to try it, but she never experienced it what it was like. She was curious, curious but nervous. Was she really going to do this?

This time she pushed Bass back towards the couch. She stood before him and pulled her shirt, his shirt, over her head and straddled him. They kissed, hands exploring each other's bodies. She moved back just a little to work on his belt and button. Bass moved enough so he could drop his pants over his knees and over his boots.

She felt the tip of Bass cock close to her entrance when their bodies met again.

' _Not yet,'_  she whispered in his ear. Bass looked at her, a slight confusion and surprise in his eyes. She moved away from him slowly and started to kiss his neck. She moved up the hem of his shirt and kissed his shoulders and chest. She kissed his stomach.

Bass watched how Charlie's full lips were kissing his stomach. Her lips were wet and warm. She was completely naked, and he was slouched on the couch before her. And then he felt a shot of raw hunger when he realised what was happening. What she was going to do. Charlie moved lower and lower, placing herself between his knees.

She locked eyes with him and she watched how Bass's mouth was about to open to say something, but then he seemed to change his mind and just simply watched her. His eyes had reached an intensity that made her blush and weak in the knees, and not only from her orgasm.

For a moment, she saw herself from a distance. She was sitting on her knees, between Bass his legs, while he was almost fully dressed and she wasn't. Only that thought turned her on even more. Shirt around his muscled upper body, pants around his ankles and boots. Legs wide.

Charlie kissed his knees before she started to move up again. Her fingers lead the way, exploring his skin, going over his upper legs before they rested there. When her lips touched the side of his hard cock for the very first time, she heard how Bass let out a deep growl. She relished the feel of the soft feeling of skin and his hardness against her lips.

She carefully moved her lips, taking his head in her mouth, tasting him, feeling him against her tongue. It was so insanely erotic, she felt how her body reacted completely to this very intimate moment.

She started to explore him. Lick him. Blowing warm breath gently over his skin. Explore him with her lips, mouth and tongue with increasing want.

When Bass felt the warmth of her mouth, the pressure of her lips around his cock, he moved his hands towards her hair and let his fingers glide between her locks. Something told him she was new , new and so damn good, at this, and it made him almost lose control right away.

Charlie Matheson was sitting on her knees between his boots, his damn pants on his ankles with her lush lips around... _. Holy hell_. It was the last almost coherent thought he could master.

' _Hell, Charlie, that's perfect.'_ He moaned, so much hunger in his eyes, that Charlie felt she could give in to the moment.

Her nerves were gone and she decided to do what felt good for her, for him, watching his movements, realising she was doing this to him.

She thought it would have felt differently, more cheap, more vulnerable but with him it felt so damn good, so sensual that she forgot about all that. Bass never made her feel cheap, he made her feel wanted, he made her let go, try, feel, explore. It made it so easy to surrender to him, to disappear into him. But right now, she felt like she was in control. It was sensual, it was everything that existed right now.

His hands felt amazingly good in her hair, the pressure and movements of his fingers guiding her.

Bass felt like he could not hold out any longer. The sight of Charlie between his knees, her soft breasts touching his thighs, her warm breath and her mouth doing things to him that made him groan her name again and again between low grunts.

Charlie felt his muscles harden under her, she added more pressure with her mouth.

' _Fuck, Charlotte, right there...right the...'_

Charlie felt how he dug his fingers in her hair with more force and how he tilted his thighs to meet her movements.

And when Bass finally came all over her breast, her hands had taken over what her mouth had started, his warm release covering her skin, she felt every part of her body buzzing with him.

When Bass was able to catch some air in his lunges again he immediately arched towards Charlie. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her. He noticed how she blushed, when they locked eyes again.

' _You never did that before, did you?'_ His voice was soft.

She nodded her head.

' _You are fucking amazing, do you know that?'_  And he kissed her again, soft, long, deep. He took Charlie in his arms and moved her from the spot between his legs, towards his chest.

' _Very talented,_ ' he added, in a playfully low voice, still slightly out of breath.

Charlie poked him in between his ribs. Bass grinned at her with one of those grins that lit up Charlie from within . He felt how Charlie let him guide her into his arms and onto his lap.

Charlie curled up against Bass, her body still on fire from this new experience. She felt Bass' hand go over her arms, a content sigh escaping from her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot happened in this chapter! I started with Bass and Connor. I believe that there is darkness in Connor, triggered by everything he had to go through. Losing his home, Emma, Miles taking him away, getting lost in a new country and the influence of Nunez. But I also believe there is hurt there, and I really wanted to give Bass and Connor a chance to see if they can be in each other's lives again. Today was a first exploration of that. Charlie had to so some thinking on her own. She and Bass are one great force together, but their pasts, they are still there. Their relationship is slowly growing into a deeper one, and with that, come questions, feelings, old fear and hurt. That is what Charlie is slowly realising, but she is not just realising that. She realises Bass makes her feel like she has never done before with a man. She just needs to find the right word for it. And the rest of the chapter, was for Bass and Charlie..
> 
> Until the next chapter! Love from Love


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for your reviews for last chapter. Let's go back to the story! Today, the chapter is all for Bass and Charlie... Thank you for following this story, reading it and leaving me such great reviews, I cannot tell you how happy they make me and how they help with my writing!
> 
> Disclaimer: of course I do not own Revolution. This is just a daydream about what could have happened too!

 

' _Giving you that key was an excellent idea,'_  Bass said, sounding very pleased with himself.

Charlie rolled her eyes at him. She was annoyed but at the same time she liked that he was strong enough to make her head spin. She could not and wanted not for him to change that. Of course she was not going to say that to his face.

They had reached the place where they felt comfortable and familiar enough with each other to wind down in each other's arms after a heated and passionate round on the couch, kitchen table or bed. In this case, after Charlie had explored  _all_  of him with her lips, it had been another round on the couch. Both of them simply did not have enough, and when he had slid inside of her, she had let out a deep moan of heat that he Bass had answered with a low curse of his own. They had moved as one.

After they both were able to catch their breaths Charlie had reached for his shirt on the floor and had let it slide over her slender shoulders. The fact that she did not even bother with finding some panties, had made certain parts of Bass ready for another round.

He put on some pants and a simple v neck shirt and he walked over to the kitchen, bare feet, to get them both something to drink. First things first, it was time for a good old drink.

Charlie being a Matheson meant he never had to ask her if she wanted one too.

Bass was absentmindedly letting his fingers run through Charlie's hair, a drink in his other hand, while Charlie sat next to him. There always seemed to be a fire burning in the fierce place in the room, it did not matter it they were in his or hers apartment.

Charlie liked it. Bass liked it more. It reminded him of being on the road with her, and more specifically that time they came back after Vegas. It was many times that around the fire, stars above their head, chill night air around them, Charlie had opened up. Talked to him, let down her guard just a little. Sharing a story, a memory. Let the coldness for one moment fade out of her eyes and looked at him like he was almost a human being.

Charlie was leaning against the soft fabric of his couch and saw t it in Bass' eyes. His mind was drifting away and he was deep in his thoughts. She had seen him like many times. On the road, after a long day, sitting in front of a fire or a little bit away from his men. Or her. He went to a place she was hardly able to follow.

But she found herself more and more wanting to join him there. To unlock his mind.

' _Bass?'_ She reached out her him, her hand finding his jaw, touching the hairs of his beard lightly. Her fingers stroked his scruff while her voice was soft.

' _Hey,'_  She tried again.

Bass felt her warm hand against his skin, he heard the unusual inviting tone in her voice.

' _I went to See Connor today,'_  his voice was low, his words came out with caution. He slowly untangled his hand from her hair and moved his elbows to his knees.

Saying his kid's name made him feel uncomfortable for a whole lot of reasons. His behaviour with her in Connor's room not too long ago being one of them. What he had to tell her next the main reason.

Charlie simply nodded at him. She wanted to let him talk.

' _Kid is doing better.'_  He took another sip from his drink. Watching the fire again, back to his thoughts.

' _Found out what happened since you saw him last?'_

Bass had tightened his jaws at her words. Right then, Charlie knew he had not told her everything.

' _Bass, what are you not telling me?'_  This time her voice was more urgent.

' _That day at the train. It was not the last time I saw Connor, Charlie.'_

He moved his head towards her for just a moment. She saw how his clear blue's had darkened.

' _Damn it.'_  He lout out his breath through his teeth.

' _I saw him again. The day I brought that Davis son of a bitch back to our meeting point.'_

Charlie remembered that day. It had been a long week and this day she had felt exhausted. She remembered how she had stood on the steps of the little church, how she had walked outside, joining Miles. Both of them were not sure Bass would be there, but they both had hoped for the same.

It had been the day that changed the way she had looked at Bass for good.

' _I stopped to get some water, when Connor was behind me all of a sudden.'_

Charlie listened to him, a thigh nauseating feeling forming inside of her stomach.

' _Connor was there to kill David so we could move on to get the Republic back. The Republic I promised him in Mexico. Hell, it was all I was able to give him back then.'_ There was a dark bitter tone to his words. _'But he was not alone. Scanlon and Neville were there too. The moment I told him this was not the way to proceed, that Miles his trust that afternoon mattered to me, he...'_

Bass let a hand go over his scruff in a devastating movement. Charlie's mouth was dry. She was slowly realising what had happened that afternoon. He had never told her. As far as she knew, he never told anyone.

' _Connor stepped back, giving Scanlon and Neville, the son of a bitch, a clear shot at me.'_

The room was silent after those words. Bass remembered the rain of bullets that had reached him. He remembered how the rest of that moment passed by in a huge fucking blur.

' _After that I managed to get out of there with Davis. But I left Connor behind, locked inside that shed. I had too.'_ His voice was breaking.

Bass finished his drink, wishing there had been more in his glass. He needed it. Badly.

' _Bass, I had no idea.'_  Charlie said, shaking her head, realising what kind of decision Bass had to made. Trying to understand what it would have been like for him that day. What it had cost him.

They way she had looked at him right before she had walked back into the church without saying anything to him.

' _The look in his eyes. Fuck Charlie. That look. I fucked up a lot of things, but seeing so much of me in there...'_ He had to stop for a moment.  _'His hunger for more, his drive for power. The hurt, the disappointment.'_

He felt the dark grip of total and complete fear of her reaction. He was waiting for sharp words that would make invisible scars on top of all the rest of them. Of losing her for what he was about to say next.

' _And now he is here, and after what happened, I should kick his ass out of the town walls... But I cannot do it, Charlie. I can't.'_

His whole body, all his muscles tensed up. Waiting for her reaction, waiting for things to blow up in his face. Again. How could she understand this, how could she after everything? How could he ask her for anything like that, after everything?

Would his wish for family, his longing for a family, for a chance with Connor cost him her? Was it again about ending up with nothing. With nothing and nobody there in the bitter end?

This time, Charlie looked away, her thoughts grabbing her and almost letting her fade away from the room. Bass still had his hands around his empty glass.

' _I once said there are more important things than family,'_  she took a deep breath, her eyes wide, her face so serious.

Bass remembered. Charlie saw it in his eyes. He remembered. She had once spoken those words the first time she had seen him in Philly, while she was convincing her mother, a woman she hardly recognised, not to give in.

_Strausser. Philly. His eyes pulled towards the fierce blonde blue eyed Matheson force, Miles'niece, standing at the other side of Strausser's gun._

Bass felt a pressure on his chest and sickening feeling in his stomach when he, for a moment, was back in his headquarters in Philly, standing next to Strausser, playing with Charlie's life.

' _I said that,'_  Charlie resumed.

Finally Bass looked at, tears reflected in his eyes. Charlie felt a warm and at the same time sharp surge go through her upper body while something almost broke inside of her for him, seeing his tears so clearly pooling in his eyes.

' _I was wrong Bass. There is nothing more important than family.'_

She felt tears stinging in her own eyes. Bass did not move, but she put her hand on his chest.

' _Don't you ever feel like you have to chose between your son and me. Because you don't. Whatever you will decide, I am here.'_

There.

There it was.

He knew he cared for her. He knew he would fucking die for her, to keep her safe. He knew he would come back for her, every damn time, in every meaning of the word.

But when she had spoken those words, with strong determination and so much care wrapped in them, he had know for sure.

He. Loved. Charlie.

His blue's were wide, taking in every inch of her face when she spoke again, his mouth slightly open at the absolute shock of surprise at hearing what she had to say.

' _I understand. I really do understand why you want to give this a chance. I know how much Connor means to you.'_

Bass had difficulty swallowing.

She had figured out that long ago. Behind the dark general, behind all his crude words and arrogance, he longed to belong. She had figured out his secret. After he took her back to one of the darkest moments of his life, maybe the darkest, when he had told her about his baby girl, she knew that he would not let go of Connor without a fight. And this man, he fought.

He felt like a complete idiot, but he was at a loss for words. He nodded at her, while he held her with his eyes. Her hand was warm against him. Seconds passed, maybe minutes.

' _However, if the little jerk tries to shoot you again, all bets are off.'_ She added, changing her tone.

Bass watched her, a small grin appearing around his lips.

' _You know, you did try to shoot me once too Charlie.'_

' _Yeah, well, that was before.'_

' _Before what?'_  He grunted at her, both of them knowing he did not mean it.

' _Before I realised that behind all that being a smug arrogant asshole, you are not so bad Bass.'_  She raised her eyebrow at him and at the same time gave him one of her signature grins that always made him want her more. She moved a little bit closer to him.

' _And before you saved my life. Again. And again.'_  She gave him her best dramatic mock sigh.

His blue's were on fire, piercing themselves into hers.

' _And before,'_ she tilted her head, her lips almost on his, when she had placed a hand on his scruff,  _'and before I realised how much I could care about you Bass.'_ There was no teasing or mocking tone in her words anymore. She sounded sincere, open en she spoke those words with strength.

Their eyes were still locked, and Charlie could hear how Bass took a sharp intake of breath at her words.

' _Charlie...'_  his voice was almost too low to hear when he said her name out loud. The smug mask she had seen so many times on him was gone. The harsh lines had disappeared from his face.

His eyes were wide, and after the shock faded from within his eyes, the only look that remained was the look he gave her once in that abandoned high school, right after he came back for her.

She had never figured out what he wanted to say.

But she knew now.

And for the first time, she felt no warning voice somewhere deep inside of her before she wanted to tell him what she felt what was true.

' _Because I care about you, Bass.'_ The words were nothing more than a whisper against his lips, words spoken with care, fragile but nevertheless true.

She would never forget the look on Bass' face when her words reached him.

' _You have no idea Charlie. You have no idea how much I care about you.'_ His words were hoarse and strong before his hand wrapped itself around the back of her head and his lips, whiskey still on them, crashed, gently, on hers.

The lush skin of her lips covered by his. It was the start of a long kiss.

Bass held her. Charlie had showed him so much of herself. She thought she would feel so vulnerable afterwards. And vulnerable, she had learned from such an early age, was not good. It was a dangerous thing, something to avoid at all costs. Not only had his eyes reached right through her carefully placed walls. His words, the fact that he cared for her, with al he had, because did Sebastian Monroe do things any other way, kept on repeating themselves. He cared for her. She had no idea how much she longed for his words, until she heard them.

She felt more whole then she could remember.

The need she felt to stay at his side, her heart beating fast. His arms finding their home around her slender body and his scent, whiskey and leather, close, told her it would be good.

It was good.

 _She was still here._ When Bass kissed the woman that had become,  _against all odds,_  so much to him, he doubted he could ever put in words what this moment, what just the hell happened, meant to him _._

 _She was still here._ She did not make him choose. She had listened. She had given him a piece of herself. He knew what kind of risk that must have been to her. Because he had done it again and again.

Only to see that piece of himself break before it had gotten forgotten, while darkness grew around what remained. And with the passing of time, he had not been sure there was nothing more to give.

He had been so very wrong. Because here she was, while she had decided he was worth caring for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, this chapter was just for Charlie and Bass. So much has happened to them. This was just for them, taking one step together, forwards. And Charlie, after hearing what Bass told her, after learning what happened to him, was finally able to tell him for the first time how she feels. To feel free enough with him, to show him.
> 
> Until the next chapter! Love from Love


	32. Chapter 32

 

_**A couple of days later** _

She had never walked into his office, but apparently Charlie Matheson had decided that today was the first time she would.

He had been busy with a large pile of reports that had been dumped at his desk, even before he had walked in this morning.  _And it was not even fucking time for lunch_  he growled at himself.

He recognised the rhythm of her boots when they were hitting the tile floor at the end of the hall. He felt how his lips curled up in a small smile at the familiar sound. When Charlie stopped in the doorway, her hands on her hips, that smile turned into a wide grin.

Charlie had not planned on stopping by, but when she had passed the building that was the Rangers headquarters in this town, and where both Miles and Bass had their offices nowadays, her curiosity had been too big to resist. That, and her body seemed to crave for him already, even if they had spent last night tangled up into each other. A friendly secretary in her early fifties had given her directions.

She had walked through the light hall, many doors to many offices. This was in a way, part of his old life. Here he was general Monroe. Here Miles was General Matheson.

Until today she had kept that line between his work and seeing him away from it, she had kept that line between the past and the present, between Monroe and Bass.

She could not help but smile when she peeked into an office that she just knew belonged to Miles. The whole room was just her uncle. Piles of not so tidy paperwork, and a lost and empty whiskey glass somewhere on his desk.

When she had taken a couple of more steps, her eyes had fallen on him, sitting back in his chair behind a simple wooden table. In contrast to Miles' office, the paperwork was neatly piled up at one end of the desk, whiskey and clean glasses on the other side of the room on a small table. Maps of the town, the area around it and Texan territory were on the wall. The morning sun fell through a big window. Charlie let her eyes scan through the room when she took a step forward.

' _Charlie, what can I do for you?_ ' Bass said in a warm low voice, with genuine surprise in his eyes while he was getting up from his chair.

He walked towards the front of the desk and leaned into it, his hands on his upper legs.  _God, she looked good in his office._

He had guessed at the reason behind her absence in his office until this very moment. However, he never asked her about it. Here, he was General Monroe. Here it was 'sir' and protocol. Uniforms, strategy, work. Although things were different, he knew that it was far from easy for her. It was too much like their first meeting, far way from here. At that memory he had to swallow something away from deep within his throat before he turned back his attention on her.

' _Just decided I wanted to stop by and see where you and Miles claim to make all those long dreadful hours,'_ Charlie said in a mocking tone.

Bass looked to the ground for a moment, while he laughed at her. Then he looked at her more seriously.

' _Well, take a good look around then,'_ while he spread his arms, pointing at the room around him.  _'Saw your uncle's office too?'_

Charlie nodded and answered him drily.  _'It's a mess.'_

' _You should have seen his room back home. Mess doesn't even begin to cover it.'_

Charlie laughed at him, she loved it when Bass or Miles let something slip from the past. They rarely did that and she loved those little bits of time as a reminder who they both were.

Charlie had crossed the room and closed the distance and stood right before him.

' _Hey,'_  his voice deep and low,  _'are you okay?'_ His thumb went over her jaw line.

She answered him with a deep look and the smallest of nods.

' _It is so very good to see you Charlotte._ ' The sincerity of his words warmed her from the inside.

She leaned in, and pressed a light kiss on his mouth. After the light kiss their foreheads met for a moment. Charlie felt how Bass pulled her closer. She was standing in between his knees. Her hands on his upper legs, while he still leaned into his desk.

' _So, you are allowed to do this within working hours, General?_ ' She could not resist to tease him all of a sudden.

' _I can do whatever the fuck I want here Charlie.'_  His words were smug before he covered her soft lips with his mouths, tongue finding tongue.

She should protest, but his low rumbling voice that reached through her whole chest and his short display of arrogance set her on fire. So she gave in and let Bass kiss her in his office. Their breathing got faster and deeper, and Charlie let out a soft moan when she felt how Bass' body was replying to her being here. Bass had just guided his hand towards the curve of her ass.

' _What the hell?!'_ Miles voice thundered through the office.

' _Miles,'_  Bass said with a boyish grin, in a tone that did not indicate he was just thinking about Charlie on his desk, pinned under him, while he let his hand go through is scruff. Charlie had taken a step away from him, regretfully. She missed his strong arms and hand on her ass already.

Miles nodded at Charlie.  _'Hey kid, keeping this moron away from his work I see?'_

Charlie just smiled at him _. 'Morning Miles.'_

' _I know you are very busy Bass,_ ' waving his hand at the desk where he had caught them just moments ago in a tone that was filled with clear agony,  _'but we have that strategy meeting in five. Because, you know, some of us still work around here.'_

Bass let out o huff a air. ' _Yeah right, drinking your whiskey behind your damn desk is hard work indeed brother. Don't worry, I will be right there.'_

Miles did not have the slightest intention of leaving them alone.

' _You might want to leave brother,'_ Bass added.

' _And why is that?'_ Miles asked with a deep sigh. Decades of knowing this idiot told him exactly what was coming next.

' _Because I am going to kiss your niece goodbye now.'_

' _Bass, I swear..'_  Miles looked like he was going to shoot Bass before he seemed to change his mind and walked out of the door. ' _Meeting in five and please, close that door next time Bass. I am begging you.'_

' _All right then,'_ Bass said walking toward his door, slamming it shut with the back of his boot, while he did not take his eyes away from Charlie.  _'Where were we?'_

Charlie let out a warm giggle before she felt how bass cupped her cheeks with his hands and his mouth found hers again.

_**Later that day** _

One meeting had turned into another and when it was close to sunset both Miles and Bass could use a drink. Miles was sitting, his feet on his desk, across from Bass while he reached out his empty glass for a refill. When Bass made sure they both had full glasses in their hands he leaned back into his chair as well. Miles had made sure there was a small lamp burning.

' _So, how is your kid doing Bass?_ ' Miles asked, taking a another sip from the Whiskey that burned at the back of his throat.

' _He is doing better, Doc says he can leave the hospital soon.'_

Connor was doing better, he had visited him over the past few days, and bit by bit his son seemed to unfreeze although he had not told him what the hell happened out there. He needed to know if Neville was out there, because he would never let that son of a bitch remotely close to Charlie.

Bass looked away from Miles for a moment, contemplating if he should tell Miles what he had told Charlie before. But he was not ready. Not yet.

Luckily the other man knew him well enough not to ask any more questions.

' _Good to hear Bass.'_

' _You know, if Connor needs a place to stay, he could always use my old studio.'_

Bass nodded at him. ' _Thanks Miles.'_

He could not tell Miles why, but if Connor and him could work things out and his kid decided to stay, the idea of Connor at his place,  _near Charlie,_ was not exactly ideal for him.

Miles nodded at him. There was silence in the room and between them, but not the uncomfortable one. For a moment it was like the burden of the past was far away for the both of them, and it was just them, two old friend, having a drink after work. It reminded Bass of their early years in Philly.

' _You know, I really appreciate it you being okay with me and Charlie man.'_

' _I don't know why, but she seems to have made up her mind about you Bass.'_ Miles paused for a moment.  _'But then again, she probably has for a long time.'_

Bass looked up from his drink in surprise.

' _What do you mean Miles?'_

Remember _that_ little incident when Texas wanted to kind of execute you?'

Bass nodded, a flash of anger going over his face.  _'Yeah, I remember._ 'He said in a low dark tone.

' _That day Charlie had one hell of a discussion with Rachel. That discussion was about you. I decided to give them some space but clearly Charlie decided to stand up for you there with Rachel.'_

Bass mouth fell open at Miles' words.

' _You might want to close that mouth Bass. Not your best look.'_ Miles said with the never far away sarcasm in his words.  _'She was the first person who offered to help me to get your ass out of that cell Bass. Without even a moment of doubt. And you know her, ever see her do something when she decided she doesn't want to do?'_

Bass grinned at his last words. The answer was simple.  _Hell no_.

' _So you were trying to get me out there?'_ Bass asked, his voice hoarse.

' _Kind off, did not go as planned.'_

' _No shit.'_

Bass locked his lips together, and felt how a lump was forming in his throat. So even then, right after coming back with Charlie, she had stood up for him. She had tried to help Miles get his sorry ass out of that cell.

He finished his drink while his thoughts were at the woman who never seemed to amaze him. He knew she had asked Rachel to save his ass, but hearing from Miles about Charlie standing up for him in front of Rachel and hearing how Charlie had risked her own life to get them the hell out, reached him on a complete new level.

' _Seeing her tonight?'_ Miles asked.

' _No, she has dinner plans, she is going over to Stay puft and his family.'_ Bass put his glass down on the desk before him.

He watched how Miles slowly got up from his chair _. 'Want to grab some food?'_

' _Sure brother.'_

When both men walked out of Miles office, Miles gave him a strong pat on his back.

_**Across town** _

Charlie's skin was still on fire from her encounter with Bass in his office. His kiss had been deep, and filled her with arousal. But she was far from satisfied. She told herself she could wait until later tonight. She told herself that and almost believed it.

Charlie was looking forward to see more of him, but first there was a dinner invitation waiting for her. She choose a simple black dress and let a comb run through her long hair. She grabbed her jacket and keys and was on her way.

It was Priscilla who welcomed her, opening the front door and her home to Charlie with a smile and kind words. Baby Zoe immediately spread out her little arms to Charlie and Priscilla planted her firmly in her arms.

' _Good, now I have time to check on that pie.'_  She sighed. She looked tired and happy at the same time.

' _Hey little girl,'_  Charlie greeted her, while Zoe tried to grab her hair.

When Charlie walked into the warm living room, Aaron walked over to her to welcome her as well. Charlie's eyes went to the set table close to the window. The sun was setting and the last daylight was streaming in through the large windows of the living room. Aaron made sure lamps were lit, and the candles on the table were already burning, giving the room a soft glow.

' _A warning ahead Charlie, about Priscilla's pie. It is good, very good. Too good,'_ He shot a smile at the kitchen,  _'don't say I did not warn you at the end of this evening.'_

The rest of the care free evening was filled with good food, laughter, the light of candles in a room that was slowly getting more dark. Charlie loved spending time here. It reminded her of home and Aaron never seemed to forget her father in his stories. He was the only one she could really talk to about him, and Danny, in a way that made her remember them with a smile. She never told Aaron, but she loved him for keeping her father and Danny alive in his stories.

When she had helped Priscilla clear the table, Aaron had been right when he had told her about Priscilla's pie, Charlie felt a little turn in her stomach while she felt slightly dizzy for a couple of seconds.

Priscilla had made some fragrant herbal tea to conclude their evening with, and she shot a short look at Charlie.

' _You okay, Charlie?'_  Aaron looked at Charlie from across the table.

'  _I just think I had a little bit too much of that pie Priscilla made so well,'_  she smiled at Aaron, while she tried to swallow another, stronger, swirl in her stomach away. 

' _Told you so,'_ was Aaron's reply when he winked at her.

Priscilla reached over the table to put a warm cup of tea in her hands. She sipped at it slowly, feeling how the wave inside of her faded away.

At the other side of the table, Zoe had fallen asleep against Priscilla's chest.

She wrapped her hands around her cup, feeling the warmth of the tea against her skin.

' _Thank you guys,'_  Charlie said,  _'I had a good evening.'_

' _Anytime Charlie,'_  Priscilla answered her, rocking the little girl in her arms.

' _Anytime kiddo,_ ' Aaron added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for reading this chapter! I tell you all the time, but I will see it again: you are all truly amazing and thank you for your support! Until the next chapter, Love from Love


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, thank you for your fun and kind reviews for last chapter! :) The next chapter is a chapter I had planned for such a long time now, and today I can finally share it with you. It has been a long road, but here we are...

 

It had been a year.

The past few weeks seemed to fill themselves with more good moments than all the long years before together. After her diner at Aaron and Priscilla Charlie had faced an incredibly busy week. The waiting room of the small town practice had been full, and so were her days.

She had hardly seen Bass. Blanchard was in town, and that meant a lot of meetings. And a very not amused and irritated uncle and Bass. She had wanted to make another visit to his office. Her mind filled with ideas of Bass and his desk and the things he could do to her there. But there just had not been time. There had been a low voiced and very hot promise in her ear, Bass' warm breath in her neck, that he would make it up to her. Her body had already answered to that promise while she ws still leaning into his hard body.

She had made long days, and so did he.

But however her days were filled, something dark started to appear on the edges of her thoughts. It had crawled into a deep corner of her mind, but never left her completely. The once so strong sense of guilt and loss that had faded away by the passing of the months was slowly keeping her company again.

It had been a year. Austin. Today It had been one year since that one day in Austin. It had been a year since he had left her no choice. The guy she had once loved, had walked Connor inside their camp with a weapon aimed at his throat. She had no idea that it would be the beginning of his end. She had no idea it would be the start of a gaping wound within her that would never heal completely.

Another day had come to an end. She would meet Bass later at his place. When Charlie closed down the practice the dark feeling that she was able to keep at bay the whole day stepped a little bit closer. It was like an inkblot that spread further, slowly, their dark edges getting closer and closer. All of a sudden she was thankful for the fact that Bass had a meeting that would turn into a long formal dinner. She was thankful for the silence and darkness that met her when she walked through his front door.

She did not even bother to make some light or warmth, and the apartment was cold around her. She got out of her jacket and threw it without thinking on the table on her left.

The sun had already set, and she know she should eat something. But the hollowness inside of her prevented her from eating anything. She saw his leather jacket and touched it lightly before she picked it up and took in his scent. Without true aim she put it down again. She saw the dark night sky through the windows of his living room.

Images she tried to fight of where catching up and flooding her mind, intense flashes that she could not push out now her hands had nothing to do anymore, no she could not occupy her mind with endless chores and tasks.

 _She could see herself following Jason after she had seen how he entered a large building across the city square. Heard his boots above her, when she was walking up the flight of stairs. A library. Almost empty bookshelves in the room where she finally found him standing in front of a window._   _She said his name, asked him what he was doing up here. Her every instinct told her something was wrong. Jason told her about a guy he had spotted down below, and he told her to check it out. When she found a rifle under his jacket, he attacked her. She had tried to reach for her gun but he hit it right out of her hand._

With every sharp image she felt how she could not breathe. The memories were cornering her slowly.

_She could feel how Jason crashed her into one of those empty racks, she could feel the sharp pain it caused in her back. Her mind had been still trying to catch up with whatever was happening, her body had gone into survival mode. So she fought. She fought Jason. She fought to stay alive. She fought panic and pain. She fought the realisation that somebody read his number._

Charlie felt how the same numbness got hold of her that held her captive when she had walked down the stairs and just stood in front of the building when Miles had found her after everything had come to a screaming halt.

_She felt his strong hands that once had touched her cheek with such gentleness, now wrapped around her neck with deadly intent. She barely recognised his face._

She walked further into the apartment. She looked at the bed but sleep was not an option. Nightmares were never far behind sleep.

She wanted to splash some water into her face, hoping that feeling the coldness of the water would keep away the haunting images. She walked into the small bathroom and stood there. She was not sure for how long. But she just stood there. Pale moonlight came streaming in through the small window and gave the room an eerily feel.

_She could feel the heavy weight of the gun in her hands while she was sitting on the hard floor before him. Jason towering high above her. His eyes, they were not his anymore. The knife he held up high, was ready to lash out one more time. She knew it would be the final time. She knew she had no choice when he took another step towards her. She heard herself begging him to stop through her tears. To snap out of it. She felt how she pulled the trigger all over again._

_She felt how the silence between her heartbeats seemed to stretch out for an eternity when she saw how the bullet crashed inside of his chest. How he fell to his knees. Screams reaching her from outside. She looked into Jason's dark eyes that just stared at her._

Charlie stretched out her arms before her, to catch him. She stretched out for nothing but air and darkness. There was a silent cry coming from her lips, while she felt tears from deep within finding their release.

When she was sure her legs would give out from the pressure of the memories she just let herself glide down the wall that was closest. She felt the coldness of the tiles against her back while she slowly let her body glide to the ground.

* * *

 

Bass was walking home. He could not wait to get out of his uniform and have a drink, with Charlie's company close, at his place. The formal dinner had been long and fucking boring. One look towards Miles had told him his brother had felt the same amount of agony. Tonight it was time for his woman again.

It had been one damn long day and he was almost home. When he looked up his building he did not see any lights behind his windows. He frowned for a moment _. Fuck_. Maybe Charlie was still not there. He felt disappointment wash over him.

When he entered his apartment he felt the little hair of his neck stand up. Her jacket was on the couch but the apartment was dark. Cold.

' _Charlie?_ ' He said in a low voice, while his heartbeat picked up just a little bit. His hand was already on his weapon.

He checked the kitchen. Empty. He checked the bedroom. Empty. And then he saw how the door to his bathroom was slightly open.

When Bass slowly opened the door he felt how his breath got stuck somewhere in his chest. Charlie was crouched in the dark bathroom against the tile wall across from him.

Her knees were folded against her chest, her arms supporting on her knees. The light of a full moon managed to light up the room enough for him to see hollow eyes when Charlie only stared straight ahead and did not even acknowledge him.

Charlie had heard noises coming from the other side of the almost closed bathroom door. She had also vaguely registered to who those noises could belong. But she could not move. She did not want to move. All there was now was numbness.

He slowly walked towards her and kneeled down in front of her. God, she was so pale, her eyes blank, her wholly body defeated.

He slowly moved out his hand towards her and touched her hair.

She did not move. No reaction.

His mind was racing and finally came to a crashing halt at the day he had seen those eyes for the last time.  _Austin._

_He had been waiting with Connor, wanting to get the hell out of the city when his brother had stormed around the corner, literary dragging Charlie with him, one of his hands firmly around her upper arm. He had asked Miles where the hell the Neville kid was. And then he had turned his eyes towards Charlie. Her eyes had been so fucking hollow, and for the first time she would not even look him in the eyes with her normal so fierce and fired from within eyes. Her top soaked in deep red blood and the expression on her face, had left him in pure shock. He had known right there what happened. What she had done. His own words he had spoken days before at their camp finding their way back to him like a punch in the face._

' _He makes one wrong move. We shoot him.'_

He moved his hand from the side of her head towards her face and cupped her cheek with his hand.  _Fuck, she was cold._  He looked at her and felt a dark panic spreading from his gut.

Charlie felt his rough skin against hers. It was like Bass was piercing through the bubble of numbness with his touch.

Bass saw how she tried to say something.

' _I...'_  Charlie moved her lips again while a first tear crashed down her cheek and over his hand.

' _I did not have a choice. Oh god, I did not...'_ she let out a panicked breath.

' _Charlie I know,'_ He cursed at himself, not being able to find any other words that could possibly help her right now. The feeling of that one single tear against his finger almost crushed him from within. He had never been able to see her hurt, in any way. Charlie was not somebody to show her emotions. The fact that she was here in his bathroom, motionless on the cold floor made him worry out of his damn mind.

' _I did not have a choice,'_ Charlie repeated her words over and over again until tears blurred her vision and her whole body started shaking with sobs and cries of intense hurt.

Bass' eyes were wide, and he barely could fight away his own tears. He pushed them away for her.

' _I, I...I don't know how to be here,'_ she said in the middle of heart wrenching sobs.

' _Then let me help you Charlie'._ He placed one hand on her shoulder while he still was kneeled in front of her. _' Baby, you don't have to do this alone. You don't.'_

Bass finally saw something in her eyes that told him he was reaching her. He was not sure what she was going to do.

Finally she raised up her eyes at him, only before a moment before she leaped into his arms. Her hands grabbed his shirt, while she crashed against his chest.

' _I am here Charlie, I am here.'_  He said while he crashed a kiss inside of her hair. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, and shielded her head with one his hands. He felt how cold her body felt against his chest.  _'I am here.'_ His words were soothing, low.

Charlie's whole body shattered with all the tears she was finally able to let out. She crashed into Bass with every cry. He caught her every time and held her through each and every one of them.

The sensation of crying so hard she could not breathe anymore while Bass held her was totally new to her. He just held her, sitting quietly with her on the bathroom floor. The shelter of his arms, the shelter of his one hand wrapped around her head seemed calmed her down. She felt how his body warmth reached her skin an inside of her. She noticed how the scent of his skin close made her feel safe.

Bass held her until he heard her voice, small and soft against his shoulder.

' _What if I had walked out, before I even saw that riffle, just like Jason told me to?'_ Her voice was barely audible.  _'What if I had not walked inside of that building all by myself?'_ Charlie was finally able to let the questions out, the questions fuelled with guilt that had kept her captive for the past year.

Her words were ripping him apart, word by word. He felt how his wholly body filled with dark ache, remembering a square in his former home town, holding the woman he once loved at gunpoint. The  _what if_ questions had been haunting him for as long as he could remember. He had tried to silence them with more power, with more control, with more Whiskey, with more woman. He had not made one fucking difference.

' _What if..'_  Charlie started again.

' _Charlie , stop. You can't do this to yourself. You fucking can't. You did the best you could at that moment.'_

Charlie was quiet when she considered his words. Her quieter sobs filled the bathroom. Bass made her feel like there was finally a place where her memories could be shared. She did not why but she felt like he understood her. So she started talking. Talking about that one afternoon she had never really shared with anybody and from which she had carried the burden with her alone.

' _I held him, when I had pulled that trigger and he felt to his knees I held him. His eyes, so ..he was already gone before I pulled that trigger,'_ more tears were streaming down her face _, 'I did not want him to be alone, I did not even know if he was still there, but I wanted him not to be alone when he..'._

Bass was silent. She had told Miles in the back of the wagon with few words what had happened up there in that building after Miles found her numb and covered in blood. But she never ever told him, or anybody, what the hell exactly happened. Bass tried to keep his own tears back but he finally lost that fight.

' _I held him, while he bled out and died right there on the floor in my arms.'_

Bass let out a aching breath of air. Her words were almost the same words he had spoken to Connor in Vegas once, when he told his kid about Emma's death. He pulled her even closer.

Charlie was finally able to share her last moment with Jason. She had never thought that if she would ever tell anybody, it would be Bass.

' _I am sorry Charlie, so sorry.'_  Bass said softly.

Charlie could hear the tears in his words, and she grabbed his shirt even more tightly.

Bass wished how much he could tell her how sorry he was. How sorry he was that Miles or he himself had not been with her in that building, how she should have never been there on her own after he and Miles had made the call to take the Neville kid with them to Austin. He fucking wished he could tell her how strong she was, how strong she had been all those years and how much he respected her for all of it. But for now, he let her talk.

Charlie remembered the dark numb feeling that spread through her thoughts and body after she had to leave Jason behind in that silent room, on that cold floor. She was not sure she would ever find her way out of that darkness.

She remembered the dark anger and first spikes of need for revenge for Jason's devastating death while she sat on the wagon, Miles across from her, her own weapon firmly in her hands on her lap while Bass was in the front of the wagon. Her back towards his.

' _After that, I walked outside, and Miles found me.'_ There was silence for a while, while he slowly caressed her hair.

_I just don't know what would have happened to me if he had not been there, if all of you had not been there.'_

Charlie heard her own words and felt how Bass tensed up under her. Around her.

She had always wondered how everything went so out of control for him.

She felt his heartbeat run wildly in his chest when she finally understood. After everything he told her, she had come to realise how much of the dark he had to walk through. But while she had so many people around her to keep her from falling of that dangerous deep cliff, he had not.

She slowly untangled herself from his embrace and set on her knees before him.

She watched his eyes, and saw a look she had seen before. He had been sitting across from her at that fire, while she had woken up from her drugs induced sleep after he had saved her from death and more in that bar in Pottsboro.

She had accused him of so much, she had asked if he could make his eyes water at will.

That same absolute and sheer defeated hurt was written in his face now, the same tears were in his eyes now.

She finally understood now. She understood more of the man that was sitting in front of her.

He was here. Here. Not judging her, but holding her silently through her storm of memories and grieve. Giving her comfort and support and safety while she told him about her darkest moment.

She understood now. They were in so many ways the same. Only he had to lose so much along the way that there had not been anybody left. There had not been anybody to keep him from falling off that cliff. Nobody preventing him to fall into despair, darkness and spinning into madness.

_Family._

She saw the hurt grey look in his eyes while she spread out her arms again, but this time they touched the man before her.

The man in her life that had been there for the last years, even if she had not wanted him there, even if she had barely tolerated him. He still had been there. After everything, they were here, together.

She touched his face with her hands, waiting until he was ready to meet her with his eyes. And when his eyes found his she felt such a surge of warmth going through the dark and coldness that she did the only thing she could do. She kissed him, with such gentleness and warmth. She kissed him like she never kissed him before.

She tasted his tears on her lips when he kissed her back.

She had not been sure she would ever utter these words again. She was not sure if she was not broken enough, damaged enough, to ever feel them again. But here, right now, in this small bath room in this small town with Bass in front of her she was not sure what else there was left to say. Her whole body seemed to be filled with those three words.

She kissed him one more time before her lips left his. She looked him in his eyes and placed her hands on his chest.

' _I love you.'_

Bass let out a deep breath, while his eyes widened.

Charlie brought his hands to her mouth and kissed them both. Then she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

' _Bass, I love you.'_

Bass was not able to move. He had settled with the idea he would never here those words again. Not after what he did, not after what he had become. Not from Charlie. Not from her. She just sat there, with such certain strength in her soft words and movements that he felt like somebody he had not been in forever.

He pulled her closer, but he never let go of her eyes with his. He needed to see her eyes when he would say what he had wanted to tell her for such a fucking long time now.

When he found some clarity to finally speak, his words were hoarse and low.

' _I love you, Charlotte.'_

He felt so much for her it that small moment. Love, respect, longing. But there was also something terrifying about sharing what he felt for this amazing woman. He was not sure he could look at her any longer, but when she smiled at him it was with honesty and love.

He tilted her head towards him, her mouth so very close to hers. And when they looked at each other, these just spoken words lingering between them, their eyes repeated those words again and again.

I love you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very intense chapter. I once heard Tracy something say about how Charlie's guilt about having to shoot Jason that day would evolve in the story. I think Charlie always kept that day with her, although she has also strength to move on and keep going. Today, however, something broke inside of her. She realised she did not have to go through it alone and she trusted Bass enough at this point to let him in. Shooting Jason also made her realise that they are both human, that they have the same needs and that she could have gotten on a same path as Bass did, only her family helping and supporting he prevented her from more darkness. And sometimes, when you least expect it, you realise it...you love him. You love her. And today, it was time to finally let that truth out. After all those years, they are finally here.
> 
> Until the next chapter, Much Love from Love


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of your reviews told me that you wanted to see more of Charlie in Bass his office. Well, like I always say, your opinions matter to me, so in this chapter there is more of that...Your wish is my...
> 
> Thank you so very much for your reviews for last chapter! I so wanted to share that one with you and I really liked you reactions to that moment in that bathroom between Charlie and Bass. Three simple words with such an impact were finally said.
> 
> In this chapter there is consolation for Charlie from Bass, more about what happened to Connor and then there is something about an abandoned hot cup of tea and... well, enough said, let's start the chapter.

 

' _Let me get you of this floor'_  Bass' voice was hoarse, his movements slow when he lifted her up and away from the tile wall. Away from the cold floor. Away from that shattering moment in that building in the past and into his arms.

Everything had changed. Nothing had changed. Charlie felt like those three words were hidden deep inside of her already, waiting to come out. She had felt it before she had said it. And maybe, maybe that was why it felt like they were still the same.

Bass focus was still all on her. On this woman who was so tough, so strong, so strong minded and stubborn as hell. But now she let him pick her up into his arms, her body forming to his.

He had wanted to reach her so many times on so many different moments on the road these past years, but he never had the damn courage. She had never let him in. So at some point _, after Vegas_  he had put the wall back up again between them. Told himself he was out of his fucking mind for how he had felt. For believing that there might have been more behind her eyes. That was until Neville had woken up everything again, by shoving his gun in Charlie's face that night beside that train close to Willoughby. It was the first time his eyes had searched for hers. It had been the first time her eyes had been waiting for him again. When he was finally able to look away from Miles, and he lifted up his gaze for her, she had already been looking at him.

And in that moment his screaming longing for her and the intensity between them had been there, raging and firing again, when even a wagon filled with mustard gas had not been able to keep his eyes away from her.

He got them both of the floor. They were chest to chest, his arms circled around her, her feet a little bit above the floor.

She leaned into him, while her hands and arms rested on his chest. Her eyes were almost on the same level as his when he held her, lifted her up and started to walk out of the coldness of the small bathroom.

Charlie felt exhausted, her tears had stopped and with them the attack of memories had stopped their brutal attack. Her body feeling like she had just gone through another all consuming fight.

She let her head rest on his shoulder when she let Bass take her where he wanted to. Bass softly placed her on the bed, and let his hand guide her head towards the pillow. She rolled onto her side and pulled her knees up towards her upper body.

When Bass placed a plaid over Charlie, he watched her almost asleep form. The silent remains of her tears on her face. He kicked of his boots and got into the bed, right next to her. She looked so god damn small, and he covered her body with his, her slender back fitting right against his chest.

That night Charlie slept in her clothes. She slept in her clothes and with Bass' body as a shield around her. It was the first time they  _only_  spend the night together, wrapped up in each other, wrapped up in sleep and each other warmth. It was the first time Charlie spend the night together with a man, with his slow breathing, warmth and strength in his hard body so close.

The amount of consolation she experienced, from what Bass was giving her, gave her finally some silent peace of mind. She did not worry about nightmares when she finally drifted off, his hand slowly going through her hair.

* * *

' _In that shed, Neville started talking to the wall. After we got out of there, he started talking about Bradbury and how we had to get there first. We were going North West, when Neville went totally nuts. I have heard how he had complete conversations with nothing but air.'_ Connor looked at his father again, in between the pieces of his story, finally telling Bass something about what happened.

Both men were sitting across from each other, when Connor was talking. Bass was sitting on a chair before him, his knees supporting his elbows, while Connor leaned against the bed he had spent many days in since his return to Willoughby, his hands in his pockets.

Bass had visited Connor many times now. Connor was getting his strength back and Bass realised he needed answers. So when he had walked in today, he had asked Connor again what happened. And this time, Connor answered.

Bass had a deep from between his eyebrows. Miles had put it well when he had talked about the whole _Nano garbage._  He had a gut feeling there was something stirring on the other side of the Texan borders. For now, he only hoped things were not going to hell any time soon.

' _I tried to ignore it. But day by day the guy lost it.'_

Truth was, Connor had regretted going with Neville very soon after they had let Willoughby behind. He was sure he wanted nothing more than that Republic, but after a while realisation hit him that it might not have been about that. He wanted that with his father. He wanted to share something just with him. The look on his father's face when he had made the call to shoot him, a decision filled with dark impulse and rage, haunting him in his sleep.

It was, during these long hours on the road that Connor recognised the truth in his father's words in that cage in Vegas _. I have clawed and killed to the front of the pack and when I got there, it did not mean one damn thing, because I was alone._ When he was sitting across a fire, nothing left but Neville's company, he realised he was just that. Alone. And he was doing the exact thing his dad had done before. But it was something dark raging through him and hurt pride that prevented him from going back.

Bass noticed familiar hollowness in his kid's eyes.

' _Not long after that, I realised I wanted to get the hell away from there. But it was like this force, prevented me from leaving.'_ Connor's was barely audible when he spoke again.  _'I, I saw Nunez, and I saw..my mom in my dreams. They all tried to convince me to join Neville, to keep on going...'_ he followed with bitterness in his voice _,_ still not sure if they had just been there in his dreams _, 'looks like Neville was not the only one on his way talking to thin air.'_

Bass looked at his kid in shock _. Emma_. Stay puft had once set a little army of patriots on fire. He had seen in with his own eyes, Charlie by his side, just as confused as she was. He also heard that Stay Puft had an encounter with some kind of nonexistent kid that was never there.

' _When I was finally able to get away from Neville, I headed back south and walked right back into the war against the remaining patriots. I watched how a complete city got ripped apart by those trained patriot kids and decided to stay and fight. There was nothing left to do. When we hit another town we were almost home free when there was this huge explosion that knocked me of my feet. It is the last thing I remember. I think we were just 45 miles away from Willoughby.'_

Bass had listened to Connor's words. So it was dumb luck that had brought his kid here. What did he used to say about luck? He shook his head and turned his attention back to Connor. That one question still on his mind.

' _So, Neville, he is still out there?'_

Connor nodded yes.

' _Damn it,'_  Bass cursed under his breath. Years and years of experience with this man told him that you never ever underestimate Neville. He had to deal with that the moment he would walk out this room.

' _I know there is not much for you out there Connor, but if you decide to stay, then stay because you want to. Stay because we are blood, we are family. After all the bullshit between us, I still want to be that family.'_

Connor blinked. Bass could see the kid's emotions in his eyes. There was an intense sense of relieve when he saw the answer in his kid's eyes before he even spoke. The darkness that settled strongly within him when time had passed, had also settled in Connor. He recognised that dark part, but he also recognised the longing to belong somewhere, to be seen by people that mattered so fucking much.

He was not planning on giving up on Connor. He had his part in screwing this up too.

He was his son. His blood. He once, in his mind, had made a promise to Emma to be there for Connor.

And Charlie had showed him that you can't fight the dark with the dark.

' _I want to stay.'_

' _Good.'_ Bass said _,_  clear emotion in his voice that he was not able to hide. _'There is a place where you can stay, it is Miles old place. I don't care if you have a problem with that. It's that or nothing.'_ He was really fucking glad Connor decided to stay, but he was not taking any of his kid's bullshit.

Connor nodded at him again.

' _Doc told me you can leave soon. So when you are ready, I will help you settle. We'll take things from there.'_

When Connor did not move Bass walked towards him and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. Both men were side to side, shoulder to shoulder. Bass had no idea what the future would hold for the both of them, but he knew he was not walking from his kid.

' _Take it easy, Connor. '_

Bass did not go home but set course for town headquarters immediately. If Neville thought he could set foot in this town, he was dead fucking wrong. He had made a mistake once with that asshole, well, how the hell was he kidding, many mistakes, and he was not going to take any more risks. He would hit the ground dead before he could even come close to Charlie. He wanted to add more security and he wanted to do that now. Things needed to be discussed and taken care of. He once had the opportunity to shoot him, that day at their little reunion near a train.

He hadn't. But if he would see the son of a bitch again, only one of them would walk alive. And it sure as hell would not he Neville.

When he rushed into his office, he growled an order to the first officer he crossed paths with.  _'Get General Matheson. My office. Now.'_

* * *

_**A couple of days later** _

When Charlie was close to the waistband of her jeans with her fingertips she stopped. She let her hand rest on her stomach. She had a scarce hour to herself at home and was sitting on the couch.

Instead of drinking the cup of warm tea that she had just made and had placed before her within reach on the wooden coffee table, still untouched, she had found herself engaging in other activities. To be more specific, she found herself wrapped up in thoughts about him.  _His_  office.  _His_  body behind  _her_.  _His_ desk.

When her hand had moved slowly over her stomach, with a very intimate destination, she had stopped herself. Realising that there was one person who should be doing this.

She grabbed her jacket and was out of the door. The cup of tea still left alone on the small table.

Charlie found Bass,  _alone,_  in his office. He leaned back casually in his chair behind his desk, stacks of reports waiting for his time and attention.

Bass looked up from a particularly long and boring report about the Texan borders. With the paper still between his fingers, he watched how Charlie stood in the doorway. He was just about to say something when something in Charlie's eyes stirred something in his groin.

Charlie closed the door behind her without words, leaning into it for a couple of seconds. Those seconds were all Bass needed to understand exactly why she was here.

He got up from behind his desk, and his eyes had such an intensity that Charlie felt a sharp feel of impossible stretching want shooting between her legs.

Dark blonde curls, broad shoulders, blue eyes firing lust and want at her. Uniform, boots. His slow but so very determined movements made Charlie part her lips when she felt how she let out a soft moan.

Bass stopped next to his desk, dropping the rapport he was reading onto it. Charlie started to move into his direction and when she was close to him she let her eyes roam over his shoulders and chest.

Bass' mind went into overdrive. He leaned into his desk while he watched how Charlie stood before him. Her eyes had reached that one place where she had told him, without words, what she needed right now. He knew what she craved for most, and it made his dick twitch. Her lips were parted, and they were full and deep red. He watched how she let her tongue go over her lips.

Being in this damn office, close to this desk and this uniform again had brought back a fucking raw need inside of him that was there the moment he had watched a Charlie on fire, jumping in front of Strausser's gun. A dark hunger, private images that had been there at the moment he had walked away from her. Private images of another desk and another room and her pinned against it but never the release he wanted, already made his cock throbbing and hard.

People were intimidate by him. Woman melted under his glance. But not her, not Charlie. Her whole body and all of her had screamed  _go to hell_ from day one.

She had always played with personal space, just as he liked to do. She never seemed to turn her back on what she fought for, she never backed the hell down. From anybody, from anything. And not from him.

That, with the combination of her fucking stunning body, lush lips and fierce eyes, had made him hard that very first day she had stood there, right in front of him. Hell, he  _had_  thought about what it would be like from that day on.

And right now, Charlie standing so close again, made him realise there was only thing that would satisfy his deep hunger.

She, and she alone would do.

He felt overwhelmed with the sudden need to push her on the desk, the fill her, the feel of her warmth around his cock. And the way she was looking right now at him told her it was just what she needed too.

They both needed the same.

Charlie locked eyes with him. There was a restrained calmness over him that already made her core so very wet and ready for him. She knew Bass, she knew what would come next.

So when he finally leaned in to meet her, when they kissed her it was with urgency. When he let his hand disappear under her top it was with raw exposed want, want he was finally able to give in to.

Her jacket and tank hit the floor around them, while their kisses were deep and hard. The touch of his hands dug deep into the soft curves, all around her breasts and nipples.

Charlie felt slightly dizzy with desire. Bass went all in, in less than seconds, and his clear want for her in that moment left her breathless. It left her with craving more of his intense want for  _her._

He was still Bass but his strength and intensity screamed General

She wanted one thing, and one thing only. Her body meeting him while she could feel his hard body at work.

When she finally was able to let her hand slide into his pants and her hand ended up wrapped up around his cock, Bass cupped both of her breasts in a wild way. He let his mouth crash on hers at the moment when he felt how her hand made contact with his aching dick. He knew it was not enough.

He felt how Charlie grabbed his length harder when he let go of her breasts and moved his hand lower. The deep moan that filled his office was what broke his last piece of self control.

Charlie let her eyes meet his one more time before she felt how he turned her around with one deliberate movement and her knees and upper legs made contact with the side of his desk.

Bass hands made quick work of her zipper and pants. Bass could not take his eyes away from her when he let his fingers go under her panties to let them slide of her hips and legs.

She heard how Bass unzipped his pants right behind her.

Bass positioned her,  _causing her to let out another deep moan at that absolute in control movement from the man behind her_ , spreading her legs with his hands, and tilting her tighs for better access. He was still fully dressed while she placed her hands on the desk before her, not even bothering with paperwork and other things. She knew what would come next and it took her everything she had not to beg him for what she needed.

Bass let out a deep grunt at the side of Charlie, bended up over his paperwork right in front of him.

' _Bass, god...'_  she moaned at him, his name coming from her lips with so much need. The fight against begging him lost at those words.

That was fucking it. Charlie on his desk, begging  _him._ He needed to burry himself inside of her.  _Now_.

Charlie felt his head against her entrance, and before she realised what he was doing, he filled her with one intense movement.

Bass felt the pressure of her folds when he pushed himself inside of her. He groaned something in a low and hoarse voice at the feeling of her tight walls that met him with that first thrust.

He immediately hit that perfect spot right within her. He stopped moving, making her pant and ache for oxygen in her lunges. Bass felt how his hardness was throbbing _._

Charlie felt how his rough skinned fingers reached between her legs and were going through her curls, and his fingers found her clit. She arched her whole body against his fingers and then moved her body back over his cock. Her body could not decide what to feel first, so she found a rhythm between his hardness and his fingers.

He watched how Charlie started to move against him, how she met his cock with ever smooth flowing movement of her body.

Bass breath was hot on her back and neck while he took over to move deep within her. It was like with every trust, he reached deeper.

The fact that Bass,  _Sebastian Monroe_ , was pounding in to her, her body bended all over his desk, probably was to blame for the fact why she never got the signals of her body telling her she was close. But instead one on his thrust and his deep low breathing close to her ear, encouraging her in low so very good voice, made her body break down in waves of coming all around him. She came with his fingers all over het clit and folds, and his hardness filling her, his chest close to her back.

She had to hold on to the desk before her to keep on standing, crushing reports with her fingers to grab onto anything when her orgasm stretched out like an eternity.

She heard how Bass let go of a deep primal grunt when his fingers dug deep into her neck when she came.

Normally Bass would give her some time to catch her breath but his body, hard and so arousing behind her, started to push into her again. He pinned her between the desk and his muscled legs. When Charlie tilted her head back for a moment, his eyes were dark and filled with so much focused lust want that she forgot to move.

When Charlie turned her head to find his eyes, he could feel her getting wetter under his gaze. Bass had one damn thing on his mind. Emptying himself inside of Charlie. He added some more pressure on her back with one hand. His fingers on the smooth skin of her back causing her to bend down further, her breasts and stomach touching the table top of his desk now.

The image of Charlie spreading out in front of him, bend over his god damned desk made him lose control over the rhythm of his thrusts inside of her, when he felt the familiar jolt inside of his balls.

' _Charlie,...'_  it was a low grunt right before he came deep inside of her. When he felt his own release in her tight core, Charlie let out a deep pant, bracing herself for his deep trusts when he came behind her, inside of her.

Bass let his hands crash on either side of her, on the desk. When they were both finally able to catch their breaths, he watched the fucking sated and beautiful look on her face when she tilted her head back to him for the second time.

She turned around in his arms, her head resting against his chest. When he was able to move again he wrapped her up against him, seeing a sated smile appear around her face.

When they were both zipped back up again, tank top and jacket of the floor, Charlie looked at his desk that had turned into chaos. She bit her under lip, her blue eyes bright and challenging him.

' _Sorry about those papers, General.'_  she said. His eyes lit up with the way she nailed down to whole messing around with his rank thing to perfection.

' _No, you are not,'_  he smiled at her, giving her a kiss, this time slow and soft while his fingers went through her hair.

She grinned at him, that fucking challenging grin of hers filling up the room., while he walked her towards the door.

' _And don't worry about those reports,_ ' he said, shooting her a wide grin.  _' they were boring as hell anyway.'_

She was almost on her way when he took her hand.

' _See you later?'_ His voice was softer again, more gentle and deep, his eyes searching for hers.

' _What do you think?'_ She raised an eyebrow, her tone mocking.

She was still taken aback by an uncertainty with a hint of grey that could fill his eyes at times, while his eyes met hers.

' _See you later Bass,'_  She said, open and warm, the mocking tone out of her words. She tangled her fingers with his. She reached for him and pressed a warm kiss on his mouth before she walked out of the office. His smile following her all the way through the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for reading! So in this chapter, there was more love, a father and son moment, and well... yes...a desk.
> 
> I decided to touch a little bit of the last episode with the nano and Connor. There is not a lot of nano in this story, but I wanted to write about that just a little, because we saw scenes in that episode of The nano were using the persons near and special to Neville ( already in the shed where Bass left Connor) and other's to reach them and it would only be normal for Connor to be chosen as well by them. But I chose, in this story, to let Connor return. For Bass. To let the darkness in Connor still be there, but Bass' words, once spoken in Vegas making a lasting impact on him. I believe that in the end, we all have light and dark in us and this story..it is all about that first part, in the middle of all that dark.
> 
> As always, love to share thoughts with you! Adore that! I will work on Detour now, because when the holidays are approaching, I want to work on that as well...Until the next chapter. Love from Love


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is this song from Sade, and it is called By your side. I've heard it not so long ago when I was just starting with this story and I knew, that it had to come back one day...you will find more of those words in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for the wonderful reviews from last chapter, I so enjoy them and they are very inspiring! They inspire my writing and this week, I just keep on writing for this story!

 

When Bass walked into his front door, he found Charlie standing in front of the fire place. It was a day with a chill in the air, and Charlie had decided the room could use a warm fire. She was just putting more wood onto the fire when she had heard his keys in the lock.

When she arranged the wood to her own contentment so the fire would keep on going, she felt the cool of his leather jacket around her arms.

Bass pulled her into a short embrace, nuzzling the curve of her neck with his nose. A warm kiss followed on the sensitive skin there.

Charlie placed her hands on his arms and felt his long body behind her and the fire in front of her. She closed her eyes to take it all in before she opened them again and turned her head towards Bass.

' _Hey,'_  his eyes were smiling at her,  _'what are you doing?_ ' he asked her, his breath touching her cheek.

When he had walked in moments earlier he had let his eyes go over her body. She was wearing a simple jeans, and a t shirt that followed the lines of her body. It was simple, and she was just simply stunning in it.

' _Nothing, just waiting for my man to come home so I can pour him his whiskey,'_ she said drily.

'  _Really?'_  he growled in her hair, feeling the curve of her ass very close to his stomach.

' _No,'_  she grinned at him in a mocking way.

Bass shot her a grin back. He knew better than for Charlie to play housewife, so he put his weapons on the small dresser, got out of his leather jacket and headed to the kitchen where he poured some whiskey in a glass  _himself._

When he got back from the kitchen he found a very lazy Charlie on his couch, her legs spread over the entire length of the couch. He walked over, and used one of his arms to lift her legs with ease. When he sat down on the couch he gently placed her legs over his upper legs.

' _Whiskey and my woman,'_  he growled in satisfaction leaning back, his legs wide, boots on the floor before him, while he let his large hand rest on her upper leg. Taking the first warming gulp from his drink.

Charlie rolled his eyes at him, while she turned her head towards the smooth dancing flames in the fireplace.

' _So, everything worked out today?'_ Charlie asked him.

' _Yeah, got the kid some basic stuff and he moved into Miles' old place today. I Helped to set him up.'_

Connor had been allowed to leave the hospital, since he was strong enough to recover and heal outside of the small room. Doc wanted to check on him but he was free to go. Charlie remembered the faint hint of tears in Bass' eyes when he had came home a couple of days ago, telling her about his conversation with Connor. She knew he was more emotional than his low voice showed, but she still could clearly see the emotions on his face when he had told her that Connor would stay, that he wanted to stay. She knew what it meant to him. She hadn't asked any more question, and had just touched the scruff his beard with a smile.

' _Bass, you are doing such a great thing for him.'_ Her tone was gentle.

Bass only nodded, taking more of the whiskey but Charlie felt the soft squeeze of his hand on her leg. She knew he was not used to kind words anymore, and she felt a sting of pain at that realisation.

They just sat there, while Bass finished his drink and Charlie felt how her eyes got more heavy. She settled more into the pillows of the couch while Bass was gently caressing the skin of her feet and ankles. His touch was feather light and so very good. She let out a soft yawn.

' _Any plans for dinner tonight or..'_  Bass turned Charlie's way, only to find her asleep. Her head resting on the side of the couch, her long locks around her face and the soft touch from the light of the fire on the glowing skin of her face. It was not only her beauty that hit him, but the fact that her face was relaxed, and she was sleeping so close to him. Her trust, her being so comfortable when so close to him. He could fucking watch her for hours.

His lips curled into a small smile.  _'You sleep baby,'_ he said softly, when he moved the half empty glass to his lips.

_**Two days later** _ _**  
** _

Bass was leaning against the kitchen counter, eating breakfast like it was the last bowl of breakfast on the planet.

' _I see you are eating everything I own,'_ Charlie walked into the living room when her eyes fell on the bowl in his hands, one eyebrow raised at him.

Bass let his eyes roam over her body,  _old habits die hard and these days he could let his eyes roam freely and hell, he was not going to waste any given opportunity to do just that,_  appreciation in his eyes when he reached the smooth lines of her curves in her tank, before he answered her.

' _Hell yeah,'_  he said, when he took another mouthful, ' _you kept me pretty busy last night. A man needs his energy.'_

He watched how Charlie tried to go for the whole irritated thing, but instead a smile broke through.

' _Move._ ' she pushed him away from the counter. Her stomach was growling and she grabbed some dried fruit out of a cabined behind him.

Charlie lifted herself up and on the kitchen counter enjoying her breakfast. She sat there, side by side with Bass. She had to fight a laugh coming from deep within her. So, here she was, having breakfast with Sebastian Monroe in her kitchen.

' _What?'_  Bass asked her, his mouth still full with oatmeal.

' _Nothing.'_  She said, giving him her grin while she took another bite of breakfast.

Bass shook his head and let out a sigh.  _'Woman..'_

' _Assholes...'_ Charlie shot back at him and this time bass could not hide the smile at her comeback.

' _By the way, Blanchard is throwing some kind of party tomorrow night. Want to come?'_

He really wished he could tell Charlie what it was for. Blanchard's birthday, his wife's birthday.  _Whatever_. Truth was, his mind had been pretty occupied when Blanchard himself had walked over to invite him. His desk had almost completely reached its normal order, but his body, certain parts of his body, had really fucking not. The desk had been empty again, but Charlie's moans and body spreading out in front of him had been filling the room, the desk and his mind for the rest of the damn day.

' _With you?'_ Charlie teased.

Bass placed his bowl behind her in the kitchen sink, his broad shoulder making contact with her body and turned Charlie's way, so he was facing her. Charlie let her legs lazily dangle over the kitchen counter.

' _That is kind of the idea,'_  he said to her, placing his hands on either side of her, now his hands were not busy with breakfast anymore.

' _Well, maybe.'_ She said, teasing him.

' _Maybe I can persuade you Charlotte,'_ his words low, his eyes fired up.

Charlie felt a shiver at the way bass pronounced the word  _persuade_. Low tone, and filled with so much promise that she laughed at him while at the same time her body responded. They both knew what she was going to say, but this way, was much more fun.

Bass grabbed her hips and moved her closer, when he gave her a long deep kiss. He was getting late for work, but hell, he really did not care.

When he let go of her, Charlie had her eyes half closed.

' _So, Sebastian Monroe, is this you asking me to go on a ...date thing?_ ' Her words were playful. Aaron had told her about enough movies and stories to know what dating had meant in the old world, although she never knew what it was like,  _'you know, pick me up at 8, flowers, kisses at the door, that kind of stuff?'_

Bass laughed at her.

' _You want flowers, huh?'_  he growled at her.

' _Of course, you are such a gentleman right? I am sure you can arrange something?'_

Charlie met his eyes with a grin when she pushed him away from her.

' _You are going to be late Bass. Out.'_  She pointed at the door behind him and kissed him quickly.

She walked back to the bedroom to get ready for her day as well.

' _Charlie?'_  he asked, the doorknob already in his hands and almost out of the door when he sighed. Then his eyes got the teasing level and his tone got to that really low place she loved so much.  _' Pick you up at eight tomorrow.'_

_**A little before 8 o'clock, the next day** _

Charlie felt nervous. She actually felt nervous for a whole lot of different reasons. It was almost eight, and she was in her bedroom. She had found this perfect long dress in the small store on main street. The dress was long, and smooth lines and flowing fabric followed the lines and curves of her body. It was a dark grey, but when the light hit it in the right spot, the colour changed in different kind of tones. The upper part of the dress was tight around her skin, and hugged her breasts, a touch of cleavage showing. It also showed the upper part of her back, but with taste and just enough exposed skin to look appropriate.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She had decided to wear her hair down, although she had changed her mind many times than she could remember now. Her blonde long smooth curls were framing her face.

She was in modest heals, and she decided that whoever had invented high heels, was not a friend of woman. However, she liked what it did to her figure and if it meant gaining a little bit of height on Bass, so it was easier to be in his face, well, maybe high heels were not so bad she thought to herself with a smile.

When she heard a soft knock on the door in the living room, her heartbeat picked up. She let her hand go over the fabric of the dress one last time. She realised with irritation that she cared what Bass would think of her dress, think of her in it.

When she opened the door she watched how Bass mouth dropped in amazement. She laughed at him in an almost shy way.

' _Holy hell, Charlie, you look amazing.'_

Charlie looked at Bass and laughed at his directness. She immediately loved how he looked. Apparently, uniform was required and he wore it well tonight. But more importantly, he smelled so good. It was more spicy than normal and when he leaned in to kiss her she could not get enough of it.

Bass let his hand rest on her waist for a moment when he moved his hand and gave her a small simple bouquet of wild flowers.

' _Man of my word.'_  He said in a low but teasing tone.

' _They are great Bass, thank you_.' Charlie took the fragrant flowers in her hands. No one had given her flowers before and although she was not exactly the girly kind of woman, she loved the gesture so unexpectedly much.

Bass reached into his pocket.  _'Turn around._ ' He said almost hoarsely.

Charlie looked at him with questions in her mind, before she complied.

His fingers touched the skin of her neck while he put her hair over one shoulder. Charlie tilted her head down when she saw his hand in front of her chest. Between his fingers she saw a little silver necklace with a small square stone on it dangling in front of her when behind her, he closed the small lock of the piece of jewellery with a soft click.

He gently let the stone rest on her skin, just above her breasts and put her hair back over her shoulder, but not before he placed one gentle kiss in her neck. She felt the top of his fingers on her skin.

' _Bass, its beautiful,.'_  she said softly, overwhelmed and not sure what to say, ' _Too much.'_

' _So are you Charlie, so beautiful'_ he said tilting her head back towards him with his fingers under her cheek,  _'and you are wrong, it is not too much.'_

He loved the honest surprised smile on her face, he loved the way the flowing necklace looked on her.

' _Now, let's get the hell out of here.'_  He said, with a boyish grin while he grabbed her hand and Charlie closed the door behind him.

Bass had stayed close to her when they had walked into the nicely decorated hall. The party had already started, and many candles and lamps gave the festive hall a nice warm light. People had obviously a good time, loud noises and warmth were filling the large hall and there was a band playing in the little corner.

Blanchard and his wife came to greet him. Bass had found out it was in fact Blanchard's birthday and he had brought a bottle of fine booze as a present.

Blanchard shook hands with both Bass and Charlie and Blanchard's wife greeted Charlie with a warm smile and a compliments on her dress.

Blanchard turned Bass' way. ' _Matheson knows about you and his, euhm, niece?'_

Bass grinned at him.  _'He sure does Frank.'_

' _And you still got your gentleman parts?'_ Blanchard asked in a surprised way.

' _He does for now.'_ Miles stepped into the conversation, slapping Bass on his shoulder with his right hand a little bit harder than necessary.

Miles eyes went to Charlie, ' _You look good, kid. Any chance you will dance with your uncle later?_

Charlie leaned in and laughed at him while she pressed a fast kiss on his cheek.

' _Sure Miles.'_

' _Hey man, don't steal my date.'_  Bass intervened.

' _Oh dear god, they are on a date.'_  Miles said with dramatic agony,  _'Blanchard, where do you hide all the good booze tonight?'_

Blanchard nodded at the bar behind him, and both men were on their way.

Bass put his hand on her lower back, guiding her through the room. Charlie was surprised at how easy this was for him. He greeted other officers, made small talk, patted some man on the back.

Well, maybe she was not surprised. Charm was never something Bass seemed to lack. She could not help but notice how other eyes were finding him,  _female eyes_ , but all Bass had attention for was her.

Introductions were made, and she loved how he stood behind her, her back close to his body. Although she realised it might have something to do with all the attention she got from the other officers nearby.

The atmosphere was light and festive, when she heard how the band started another song. The melody was smooth, the instruments soft.

_You think I'd leave your side baby_  
You know me better than that  
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that

First the words were soft, but then they reached her.

' _If you'll excuse me now boys, I am going to dance with this wonderful lady over here._ ' Bass excused them both and took her hand in his.

He saw a hint of insecurity in her eyes when there was a hesitation in her movements. For a moment he felt a crushed heartbreak for her. This girl fought like no other, was so strong, went through so much and yet, a simple date, one dance, she had never experienced that before in this world.

' _If you for once allow me to lead, we will be fine,_ ' he teased her.

Charlie felt his arms guiding her onto the dance floor and decided that maybe, maybe for once, he could lead her here, right in front of all everybody else.

' _That dress looks so good on you, Charlie.'_  Bass whispered in her ear. Charlie felt his hand on her waist. Charlie felt how there went a wave of teasing promise through her body. This man's words could be infuriating foreplay at times. His words were meant as a compliment, but it was like he was already undressing her slowly with every word.

Everything else faded away, until it was just them, moving together on soft tones of music. She was finally able to relax. The lady who sang tonight had a low soulful voice.

_I'll tell you you're right when you wrong  
And if only you could see into me_

_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there  
Hold you tight to me_

Her mind went to that one night against the tile wall, when Bass has been there for her when she felt so abandoned and alone and lost. They locked eyes while Bass moved her along the dance floor, and she let him  _and_  the rhythm of the music take them where they would go.

Bass gaze was deep, his eyes on this woman before him. Her body in such an amazing dress, that was so much like her. Down to earth, strong, smooth and beautiful. Her hair soft, her lips lush and the silver necklace complimenting her stunning look. Charlie got lost in his eyes, when she again heard the words of the song that was played.

_When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in_  
I will show you, you're so much better than you know  
When you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again  
I will find you darling and I will bring you home

_And if you want to cry_  
I am here to dry your eyes  
And in no time, you'll be fine

Once, she had not believed there could be light, or music, or a date that she had only experienced from stories of movies with a man that always had pushed her buttons, but whom she loved now with such warm and endless intensity. Tonight things fell into place.

_I'll tell you you're right when you want  
And if only you could see into me_

Bass remembered the song, and although neither of them said anything about it, all the words hit home. He pulled her closer, and Charlie's head was tucked under his chin.

_You think I'd leave your side baby_ __  
_You know me better than that_ __  
_You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees_ _  
_ _I wouldn't do that_

Bass felt how she grabbed him closer, her hands pulling him even more close until there was no more room between their bodies and they were completely connected.

_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there_  
Hold you tight to me  
Oh when you're low  
I'll be there by your side baby

The song faded into the background again, when both Charlie and Bass realised they were not alone and at a party. Charlie pulled away from his broad chest with so much sudden regret. He watched her and she knew what he was saying.  _I love you._

Then of course he leaned in, and whispered softly so only she could hear. ' _Love what that dress is doing to certain areas of your body Charlie.'_ When his eyes rested on the curve of her breasts Charlie let out a laugh.

' _You do know what the ladies want to hear don't you?'_ Charlie rolled her eyes at him, but her eyes could not hide the fact how much she liked Bass teasing her like this. She could not deny that his lines could be pretty effective at times. The problem was of course, that she felt that Bass was able to read her body, and that he probably knew exactly what he was doing.

' _Have I told you already how much I love this, dancing with you?'_ Bass told her.

Charlie felt the nerves come back again, felt how her heartbeat picked up again and how her skin felt warmer. She had waited and waited. Her heartbeat was strong in her chest.

She took his hand in hers, while he looked at her with blue questioning eyes.

Bass watched how a warm but mysterious smile started to form around her lips. There was something deep in her eyes that went right through him.

She dragged him away from the small dancing area, away from the typical sounds of a well enjoyed party. She lead him away from the sounds of glasses, laughter and talking.

She did not say anything when she guided Bass of some steps and outside, and stopped under a small covered placed behind the building. The night air touched her face. There were stars above their head.

She swallowed something away and all of a sudden did not understand where those tears were coming from with warm salty water teardrops filling her eyes.

They stood chest to chest, just them, while the party inside continued and the band played another song.

Charlie took a deep breath when the smile came back on her face. She searched for his eyes. Blue stared into blue.

' _Bass, you are not just dancing with me.'_

She did not let go of his eyes when she spoke each and every word.

Bass eyes were filled with feeling absolutely confused until finally her words were meaning something.

Charlie let out another breath and moved his large hand to her belly. She felt the warmth of his hand through the fabric of her dress.

She felt how a single tear, a tear of hope and so many emotions, flowed down her cheek. She saw how her words reached Bass and without realising it she held her breath.

Bass had listened to her words, and when he was finally at the point where he realised what those words carried with them, she had moved his hand to her sweet soft belly. He felt her stomach against the inside of his hands when Charlie placed her hand over hers.

He looked at her again, saw that one beautiful tear on her face, and looked back to her stomach again, were their hands were placed protectively over new life.

' _You are..pregnant._ ' he said, his tone low and barely audible, while he took a step back and put his hand over the scruff over his beard with shock in his eyes.

Charlie felt dizzy and so vulnerable all of sudden when Bass let go of her. For a moment the whole world around her stopped and she was not sure what to do, to say, to feel. She felt a tight dark pressure on her shoulders.

But then he took a step forward and slowly moved his hand to her cheeks.

' _You are pregnant?'_

_Fear. Joy. Love. Hope. Warmth. Promise_. His chest almost busted from all the things he was feeling.

' _I am pregnant Bass. I am carrying your child. Our child.'_ She said with tears in her voice.

Bass leaned in and embraced her, tears in his eyes. He was at a complete loss for words.

Charlie held onto to him, and realised for the first time, there was new life right there, right there in between their embrace. Between all the dark, between all the loss, Charlie felt what it was like to feel new pure life witin her, life that was hers, and his. 

When he let go of her, his eyes reached her with a warm smile, that spread all over his face, when his cheeks were still wet with tears.

He kissed her softly. On her lips. Her cheeks. Her forehead.

And then he placed his hands back on her belly.

' _Our child.'_ He said, his words full of emotions.

And then he kneeled down before her, one knee on the ground and placed one warm and long kiss on the small curve of her belly.

Charlie reached down her hands to hold him, Bass arms so close, while his lips rested on her stomach, her soothing hands going through his curls.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, here we are...new life is on its way. I had it planned a while now and hid some clues along the way. Priscilla's pie and Charlie's nausea ( which was not because of the pie, or well, not just because of the pie), her glowing skin and the fact that there was tea and she did not join Bass with the drinking of the Whiskey, and fell asleep right there on the couch. As always, I love to hear your thoughts! Until the next chapter, Love from Love


	36. Chapter 36

The band had started another song, and the soft music was reaching them outside. Bass smiled at her, and let his eyes roam over her stomach again. The trees around them, just as the buildings, covered them from the rest of the world.

' _I found out yesterday,'_ Charlie said softly, her voice now a little bit unsteady.

_It was Priscilla that stood at her front door two days earlier. Charlie was surprised to see her, but she welcomed her to come inside. Priscilla sat down in front of her, while she talked about a midwife that had come to town a couple of months ago. Charlie was in the kitchen making tea and when she was done, she walked into the living area, where she joined Priscilla._

_Charlie nodded at her, while she had been assuming that Priscilla shared this new information for the medical practice, so they could have more expertise to deal with everything that happened in the town, when it came to new births. Priscilla had smiled at her, and had told her it was not exactly for the practice. It was for her._

_Then Charlie realised what she had been talking about. She had missed her last period, but that had not been something new. The stress and pressure of being on the road and fighting, had been stressful for her body. Being pregnant was something so far away from what Charlie believed to ever experience, that it had not even crossed her mind that it could be a possibility._

_Priscilla had been sweet and kept Charlie company for a while before she let Charlie process the idea of what could be changing inside of her body right now. When she was alone, Charlie curled up in the corner of the couch. She thought about telling Bass, but what if she was wrong? What is she was not pregnant? She knew about Bass' loss from the past, and she did not want to rip open and old wound._

_It was such a difficult decision to make, and it felt so impossible to not share it with him from the moment she realised that she could be, indeed, pregnant._

_She knew what had happened to Bass from the moment he had lost his wife and their little girl. She needed to be sure. And what if she was pregnant? How would Bass feel, react? Did he want to be a father? Did he want her to be the mother of his child? He loved her, she knew that for sure. But they had just found their way together, slowly building something between them. She knew how she felt about it, but everything was still so new and fragile._

_Her head was spinning from all the thoughts and questions. She sat in silence for a long time._

_And then, she looked down, and touched the soft skin of her belly. She felt so unsure, so full of emotions, but she knew what she hoped for in that moment._

_A day later, Charlie had visited the midwife. Her name was Jo, and she was an energetic woman in her fifties. When Charlie walked home after her appointment, she knew tot in less than eight months, she would be a mother. She knew that she was carrying his child. Their child. Even if she would try, she couldn't think of any words right now to express how she felt. All she knew, that this child was welcome, so very welcome. And she would tell Bass, soon._

And now, a little bit more than twenty four hours later, Bass stood in front of her. His eyes were so gentle, so much unspoken things in his eyes. She told him about her appointment with Jo the day before. That she was doing fine, that she was young and healthy and that Jo would monitor her with great care. He listened.

' _I, I did not want to keep this from you, Bass. I wanted to tell you right away...but I, I did not want to be wrong... after you had to lose them, I did not want you to feel...'_ she tried to find the right words, but somehow what she wanted to tell him, did not came out the way she wanted to. The only thing she was afraid of now, that he would not understand.

Bass cupped her cheek as he watched her struggle, he hated to see her like this. He let his thumb brush her lips to silence her.

' _Charlie, I know. I know,'_ The fact that she had been worried about this, that she was explaining something that she did not have too, almost broke his heart in that moment.

' _So, this child is welcome?'_ And the fact that she was unsure about that, really fucking broke his heart.

Bass looked at her, disbelieve in his eyes.

' _Is this child welcome? Charlie, it is all I ever wanted.'_  His words were strong, so filled with his love for her, that she fought back tears again.

' _Stupid hormones,'_  Charlie muttered when she tried to remove the tears from her cheek.

' _Come here, baby,_ ' hoarse voice, gentleness in his words. Bass smiled at, and for once, did not tease her. He just held her, and pressed a kiss against her forehead.

' _So, uh, you need me to take you home?'_  He stepped back a little and pulled his hand through his curls in an almost nervous movement.

Charlie laughed at him.

' _Bass?'_  she raised an eyebrow at him, a grin around her face,  _'I am pregnant, not sick.'_

If someone had told her this tall, strong, General could be this adorable a couple of years ago, she would have tilted her head back and laughed until she had not been able to breathe anymore at the amount of ridiculous in that statement.

But yet, here he was. Adorable, caring and so sweet. Of course, for once, she did not throw it in his face.

' _Besides, I don't want to go home. Do you know how long it took me to get ready for this date thing?'_ she smiled at Bass, ' _and I promised Miles a dance too. And we don't want to disappoint him do we now, especially when we have this wonderful news to share with him somewhere during the next couple of eight months.' S_ he pointed at her belly.

Bass' grin was disappearing fast, when he realised they would have to tell Miles. He let out a deep groan when he picture Miles' reaction, imagining his brothers' face going to an interesting kind of purple.  _Oh hell. What the hell, Bass, you knocked up my niece..._ He could just hear Miles yelling at him. Yeah, he really looked forward to that moment. The yelling from Miles might actually never stop.

' _We better get you inside then,'_ Bass said, a heavy sigh escaping from his chest.

Bass placed his arm around her waist, pulling her close, when they both walked back inside The silver grey of Charlie's dress was flowing against his uniform when they both walked in.

Of course, Bass did not let her out of his sight the rest of the evening. Although Charlie could not drink, she felt this pleasant energy of being a little bit tipsy from Bass, the thing  _they_  only knew for now, the soft music, the many lights and the light energy around them. Bass held her in his arms for many more dances.

Miles had walked over to them, realising if he wanted a dance with his niece he had to cut in at some point. He had watched Bass and Charlie from across the bar. He recognised a hell of a lot of the old Bass in front of him now. And Charlie, he remembered a stubborn four year old. And now somehow, that fun and stubborn girl had turned into a young and one hell of a woman. She looked beautiful, and Miles was glad that his best friend was there to keep all the other idiots away from her. Charlie had dragged him out his dark bar, miserable and drinking himself close to death, many years ago. And now, she had managed to drag out Bass from his hiding place of being miserable, dark and off the rails.

Miles knew he would never ever find the words to make Charlie understand what a difference she had made to him, and to Bass. And then, the dark pain deep in his gut found him again, an amount of pain and guilt that no amount of Whiskey could erase.

Ben should have been here, seeing this great kid, his daughter, grow up, take her for a dance on her birthday or dance with her when she would get married. Be there at her birthdays, be there every day. Miles would literally go through hell and back if he could change time, if he could give Charlie those moments back that he helped destroy. Give Charlie more time with her father. It was one of many demons that Miles Matheson was fighting.

The only thing he could do was fight for her, take care of her, look out for her and hope Charlie could find any kind of happiness in this miserable world. He could give her a dance. Tonight.

So when he walked over, and Charlie smiled at him he could only smile back at her.

' _Hate to interrupted this date,'_ hegestured between Charlie and Bass, _'but you promised your uncle a date.'_

Bass pressed a soft kiss on her hand, before he let her go. Miles decided that maybe for tonight, he could live with a little less sarcasm and a little less messing around with his brother. So when the idiot kissed his niece,  _so who was a puppy holding a kitten now, you moron_ , he kept his mouth shut. Just, you know, for this once.

' _Ready kid?'_ Miles asked Charlie _._

Miles took Charlie in his arms. Charlie took in his familiar scent of Whiskey, and closed her eyes for a moment when she let her cheek rest against Miles chest.

' _So, how is your date with that idiot over there going?_ ' Miles nodded towards Bass, who found the bar.

' _He is doing pretty good, I think,'_ Charlie laughed,  _'he even brought me flowers.'_

' _Oh dear god,'_  Miles muttered, but with a smile in his deep brown eyes.

Bass leaned back against the bar. Charlie was smiling and talking to Miles in front of him, when his brother took her for another spin. If any other guy dared to touch Charlie, or even looked at her too long tonight, he would fucking kill them. But not Miles. She was safe with Miles, and even if his brother had some problems with the whole verbalizing what you feel thing, he knew he loved Charlie. A glass of whiskey in his hands, while a wide grin was on his face, his eyes on his brother and Charlie.

When the sky outside turned from deep black into a deep blue, and there was a small strip of deep purple just on the horizon, Bass walked Charlie home. Her arm was around her, and his jacket was on her shoulders, keeping her warm. If this woman wanted a date, he would give her a date.

Charlie was not sure she could stand on her feet, and she leaned against Bass, when they both walked through the silent streets .

' _Want to come inside for some coffee?'_  Charlie said, when she stood in front of her front door, her face serious but her eyes so damn inviting. She had read that line somewhere in a book once, and she had loved it. She loved it even more, that she could use that line right now.

Bass laughed at her.

' _Charlotte, for a woman who has never been on a date before, you have very smooth lines.'_

 _A_ nd then he leaned in closer. Whiskey on his breath and his scruff touching her sensitive skin. ' _You know, that coffee things is complete bullshit, right? It's code for a whole lot of other things.'_

' _So, why are we still talking then?'_ Charlie said, when she grabbed his shirt.

Bass did not have to think twice, when he leaned in further to kiss her. With one arm he reached out for her, and her body ended against his. Through her dark living room , they found a path and made their way to the bedroom. And when they reached that bedroom their lips met, their bodies met when they softly made contact with each other.

A while later, Charlie looked at Bass. She was laying on her side, close to him, her bed softly against her body. He was on his back, eyes fixed on the ceiling in front of him, when she could see tension running through his face. He looked like he was a world away, and she made soft circles with her fingers along his chest.

' _Bass,'_  it was only a whisper, ' _Bass, I am scared too.'_

It was the truth. Charlie knew what the risks of pregnancy were in this post black out world.

Old pain an new fear made his jaws lock. All he had ever wanted, all he still wanted, was family. A home. Support, love, memories, a place to belong. The fact that Charlie was pregnant with his child, and he had seen how welcome this child was already in her eyes, had made his love for her only stronger in that one moment. But damn, he was scared out of his mind. Scared of losing her. Scared of seeing that one wish shredded into nothing before his eyes. Scared what would happen to him if he would lose her. Fear mixed with memories of that one dead scream from Shelly, from the blood on his arms, hands and body when he had collapsed against Miles in their tent camp after he knew it was all over.

The pain of remembering what it was like to dig a hole in cold ground and dirt, together with Miles, for the woman he loved and his daughter he would never know, left him completely numb.

He heard Charlie's voice, and he wanted to touch her, to feel her, but he couldn't. It was like a cold grip that kept his body hostage. His eyes were wide and he could only stare.

Then he felt the warmth of her hand on his face. She was slowly touching his cheek.

' _But I have faith too, Bass.'_

That was the truth too.

' _And if I have to choose between fear and faith, I know which one will win.'_

Bass closed his eyes, and he could not stop the tears anymore. He broke down and he could not give a fuck anymore. He moved his hands, without truly feeling them, and found Charlie close to him. Charlie wrapped her warm body around his the best way she could. His head rested against the crook of her neck. Charlie did not move, she did not speak. She just held him. Felt tears on her skin, his tears that were slowly mixing with her own.

Time did not matter anymore when Bass held her, felt her warmth and her scent was close.

And when he moved again, he searched for her eyes, he searched for her mouth with his. He kissed her. Slow and deep. And then their eyes met again, and she saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes.

Their foreheads met and then he kissed her again. He moved towards her neck, soft kisses. He moved towards her breasts, and explored them with his mouth. His warm breath was on her skin. And then, he reached her stomach. His calloused fingers went over her skin. His mouth touched her skin again, but this time without the fabric of the dress around her skin. She arched her hips a little to meet his kiss when her hands were playing with his curls.

When he searched for her eyes again, her eyes were soft, a warm small smile on her face _. Charlie._ He did not deserve her, he did not deserve her. But she was here. She had once found his life worth saving.

Maybe, that is where it all had begun for both of them. And now, she was about to give him new life.

They held on to one another, and warm breath and kisses turned into a wave of hands caressing each other. Tears moved away from their eyes. Charlie pulled her leg around his waist, and her core met him. There was no rush.

When the sunlight found its way over the roof tops of the small town, pale golden morning light fell on Charlie's hair. It fell on Bass' face. And when Bass joined Charlie's body, she let a soft moan of delight and content. He groaned softly in her hair.

' _Charlie,'_ it was a low whisper through the room.

' _I'm here Bass,'_ she whispered back.

And when Bass started to move inside of her, Charlie's dress was somewhere on the floor, a little lake of silver on the ground. Bass' uniform was close, his boots close to the bed, her heals somewhere in the living room. The apartment was silent around them. Charlie put her hands on his back to pull him in even closer, while the room around them filled with bright morning light, casting deep and dark shadows away.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since I updated this story, because I was writing an AU story: Detour. I wanted to stay inside of that bubble before returning here. . This whole chapter was for them! But now I am back at this story, and you can expect more chapters soon. Thanks for your amazing reviews for last chapter, I am so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you, your reviews are always so very inspiring when I write.
> 
> Until the next chapter..Love from Love


	37. Chapter 37

_**One week later** _

Charlie walked past the market stalls on the main street. She had just bought fruit, soap and some other things she needed. She had felt incredibly nauseous after breakfast, and she had decided she could use some fresh air. It was a clear day and the cold air did her a world of good. It was late autumn, and she zipped up her jacket to keep the cold away from her body.

On the other side of the main street Bass was making his way to some well earned whiskey, together with Miles. They both had a couple of hours to themselves, and they were planning to make the most of that. And that meant, whiskey. A lot of whiskey. They had just seen Charlie, and Bass had wanted to walk over to kiss the hell out of her. But Miles had begged him if they could let Charlie do the shopping on her own and catch up with her later. Bass had pouted, but he knew how Miles felt about _womancrap_. For once, he decided not be a dick about it and save Miles from that torture.

So now they were on their way to the small town bar for some booze.

' _...have to through those reports tomorrow..._ ' Miles voice.

' _Uhuh,'_  Bass replied, not hearing a single damn thing Miles was telling him.

' _...and you did not hear a single word I just said to you,'_ Miles said drily.

' _What?'_  Bass said, his mind with Charlie and their first appointment with Jo. He wished he could keep an eye on her, around the damn clock, but Charlie would never allow him.

' _Never mind,'_  Miles sighed,  _'work crap, nothing too important. Let's get that drink.'_

The last week, Bass and she had started to get used to the idea to the fact that they would be parents. The feeling was so new and they had decided to keep the news to themselves for now. Bass had met Jo, he had insisted he would meet her the next day, and had asked about 52 questions in 15 minutes time. Jo had been patient and had answered each and every one of them. Charlie had just leaned back in her chair, amusement in her eyes.

Bass had been protective up to the point where Charlie had become almost irritated. When Bass had then dared to make a joke about raging hormones, Charlie had turned around and had left the room.

What she did not see was that Bass was actually biting his tongue to prevent himself from smiling at her. After a couple minutes he had appeared behind her, and had pressed a kiss in her neck. And then another. And then irritation about his comment about her raging hormones had turned into both of their raging hormones against the kitchen counter.

It was a bright autumn afternoon and Charlie bought enough for dinner for three. She wanted to invite Miles over. She had not seen him for the past couple of days and she wanted to catch up with her uncle.

That, and she liked seeing Bass and Miles in one room, bickering and fighting and pretending they did not care about each other.

She left the market stalls behind and started to head back to her apartment, when she smiled at her plan. Tonight would be dinner with the guys.

' _Miss Matheson, how nice to see you again,_ ' a deadly polite voice on her left made her blood turn to ice inside of her.

In the small alley towards her left, she saw Tom Neville when he stepped out of the shadow of the buildings around him. One heartbeat. Then another. So he had found her again. Charlie knew he was still out there. And maybe, how hard she had pushed it away, she had always known he would find her again.

Neville shot her a cold fake grin that he mastered to perfection, his eyes filled with hate and the hunger for revenge. His hand filled with a gun, the barrel aimed at her with a deadly steadiness.

' _You walk over to me, now. Slowly.'_

Charlie acted fast, her hand went for the knife against her hip.

' _Now now , let's keep things civilized, shall we?'_  He nodded at her, and she knew she had no other choice left but to guide her hand away from the knife. She took a step forward, her breathing uneven, dark cold fear around her.

Dark intense dead fear started to suffocate her, when she realised that this time she was not alone in front of the barrel of his gun. It was not just her anymore. It was the first time she felt how much you could want to keep anybody else safe. It was a primal thought, a primal feeling. She was carrying their child with her, and panic starts to spread.

Time imploded. Charlie remembered finding her father dying on the ground, when Neville reached their village to take things away from her that never would be whole again. Then she was back in Austin, pulling the trigger with Jason in front of her. A flash of Neville shooting bullet after bullet in the wall behind her, when she had taken him to one of their safe houses when Miles was missing, to make sure he would not find their camp, to keep Neville away from the people she cared about.

And now he was here, in her town, again. The last seconds of Jason were flashing through her mind.  _Guilt, hurt, pain, fear._ He is here for her. Nobody around. The alley was dark and Charlie felt like warmth and comfort and safety have deserted her for good.

She knew that from the moment Neville had let her walk away, after he had pulled the trigger of an empty gun, he would find her again. He had been a dark shadow on the corner of her life. He would find her again. And then, his gun would not be empty.

The thoughts were repeating and pounding through her mind.

She knew now what it would feel like, what it would sound like, those last seconds before death since that grey cold day in that safe house. She knew that the click of his gun when he pulled the trigger would be the last thing she would hear.

Or maybe, this time, it would be over even before that.

She opened her mouth but no sounds came out of her. Silent tears filled her eyes, flew over her cheek. Charlie did know anymore where to find the strength to plead for her life, to ask Neville to spare her. To tell him how sorry she was. How much it would haunt her for the rest of her life. She knew what she did in Austin.

_No._

_Her child. Her child. His child. He will never meet his child now. And it is all her fault. Bass eye's. Bass strong arms. His low voice. Another heartbeat._

_No._

_No._

_The absolute knowing of not wanting to die raged through her._

_The absolute longing of wanting to see him, just once, one more time. To feel him. To be with him._

Neville moves his finger and all she was able to do was watch him, crying, her mouth open, her lips parted.

And then, she heard the safety going off another gun, right before that sound repeated herself behind her. She tried to breath, but there was no air left. A strangled huff of air escaped her lips.

' _Gentleman, so nice of you to join us,'_  Neville's voice had reached a deadly cold now, while he did not take his eyes away from Charlie.

Bass felt rage and complete panic at the same time. He and Miles were almost at the bar, joking around and grinning, when they had watched Charlie stop. He had seen her whole body tense up and every instinct inside of him told her he had to reach her. His grin had disappeared and his blue eyes had been firing at her. He had not even looked at Miles, but he knew his brother was following him when they had started running towards Charlie.

He had watched Charlie walk, in an almost frozen state, into a small alley. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he already knew who he would find there with her.

And when both him and Miles had pulled their guns, and rushed into the alley he had looked directly in the traitor face of Neville. Tom Neville. Charlie had her back towards him and Miles, and she stood directly between her and them.

' _You let her go, Tom.'_ Bass growled at Neville, complete rage in each of his words. He held his gun firmly in his hands. he knew that son of a bitch would be back, like he always did. From the moment Connor told him Neville was still out there, he knew that son of a bitch would be here someday to hurt Charlie. And he had given the son of a bit room to do that. His jaw was locked and his eyes blue and filled with rage at Neville.

' _Neville, you son of a bitch, I told you, to never touch her again,'_  Miles yelled at Neville, his brown eyes on fire. His gun aimed at Neville's head.

 _Miles. Bass. So close, and so, so far away_ , Charlie thought. Both men were so close, she felt completely deserted. Alone. They would not be able to get her out of this. Not out of this one.

 _I love you Bass. I love you._ Silent words formed in her head, through the grasp of death fear.

Bass felt to urge to kill and destroy raging through his whole body. He would rip the son of a itch apart with his own hands.

Miles knew that if something was going to happen to Charlie, he would not only love the girl he loved as his own daughter, but he would also lose the brother beside him. He would lose them both.

Miles found himself repeating the same thing over and over again. Charlie had to be fine. He would give his own life right now, if only she would be fine. His gut was filled with cold anger and fear, but the fighter in him pushed it away and stayed focussed. He stood side with side with Bass.

Charlie stood between those three men, Bass and Miles behind her, death so close before her in the form of Tom Neville. She wished she could turn right now, look at Bass one more time before...

She heard the shot, but her body and mind were already somewhere else. She felt how her own hands went to her belly, instinctively trying to protect the life that was hers to protect.

 _So close,_  she thought to herself,  _so close to having what she so longed for. And now, it was over. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

Her legs gave out under her, and the last thing she registered so far away from her, was something familiar and strong around her. Her head landed on something she knew was so well, but she just could not remember anymore why. Another voice, she knew well too, screaming at full force.

She stayed there, when time seemed to stand still, in a land between being there and not being there. She heard her own name, pleading, begging, screaming, the words vaguely reaching her. She felt warm familiar hands around her face.

She did not know if minutes had passed, or hours.

But then a little of the numbness faded away and she felt a hand on her forehead, another arm around her waist.

' _We've got you baby, we are here. It is over.'_  A deep low voice.

' _You are safe, Charlie.'_

' _You are safe.'_

' _Kid, can you open your eyes for me,'_ his voice worried and so gentle.

She tried. And then her body broke out of the dark slow motion. When Charlie opened her eyes, she looks directly in the face of her uncle.  _Miles_. He is here. His eyes were misty, tears in them. Tears running over his face.

' _Hey kid, welcome back.'_  He said, giving her a faint smile. She heard the tears through his voice and feels his fingers tremble against her cheek.

And then, she just knew which arms were around her, who was sitting behind her. She felt his strong arms around her, while he moved her so she can see him. She leaned back into his touch.

' _Hey baby,'_  tears on his face, relieve in his voice, when he presses a strong kiss on her temple. And then another one on her lips. Softly, slowly, gently.

When Tom Neville had heard the sound of another gun right above him, he had lost his concentration for just a moment. Bass had ordered a ranger to get his ass on the roof, before he and Miles had turned the corner into the alley, the alley where Charlie had disappeared into.

It was that small window of time that both Miles and Bass needed. While Bass launched himself towards Charlie, to get her out of the way, Miles had pulled the trigger. It had hit Neville straight in the head, and before he could harm Charlie in any way, he had dropped to the ground. Bass had covered Charlie with his whole body.

When Neville made his way to the ground before them, Bass had moved his arm and had pulled the trigger of his own gun, holding on to Charlie at the same time, shooting Neville through his heart.

And then again.

And again when complete rage had filled his face , mind and veins.

Miles had not tried to stop him, because the rage that Bass felt right now, matched his own. When Bass was done, Miles slowly kneeled down next to his brother and Charlie. He put his hand on Bass' shoulder, his hand had been trembling right , just like Bass' whole body.

' _It's over man, it's over.'_  Miles said to Bass, his voice low and broken, ' _Bass, it's over.'_

Bass had let out a deep breath through his teeth and had moved Charlie towards his chest, while Miles had sat in front of her.

When she finally woke up, and turned around to face him, Bass felt the rage go. She was here. Still here. One moment later and... _fuck no.._ he could not go there right now.

He held on to her, while Miles was close to the both of him. Bass noticed the shock in Miles' eyes and for a moment they looked at each other.

Charlie tried to move, but she was too exhausted. From the corner of her eyes she saw him. Neville. She saw the contours of his body spread out over the ground, blood flowing out of him, mixing with the sand around him on the ground. She felt nauseous. Cold. Her eyes on him and all that blood.

It was Bass hand, cupped around her face, that moved her eyes towards him.

'  _Charlie, just look at me. Only look at me.'_

Bass needed her to not be here anymore. He needed her to get away from Neville right now. It was all he wanted now.

' _You take her and make sure she is all right, Bass. I'll stay here and deal with this.'_ Miles pointed at the gathering crowd behind them. As much was Miles wanted to stay with his niece, he wanted Neville out of this town as soon as possible. The son of a bitch had to disappear into the ground now. Then, and only then, he would be able to let this whole thing go. He knew Charlie was just as safe with Bass as he was with him.

' _Hey kid,_ ' Miles placed a hand on her head,  _'Bass will take care of you. I will catch up with the both of you soon._ ' Charlie nodded at him.

When Bass lifted her away from the cold ground, and he felt the weight in his arms of the woman he loved beyond anything, he remembered that one day. Charlie had been in his arms when he had carried her away from that bar in Potssboro. He shifted her in his arms, his arm around her, the other under her knees to carry her away from all this hell. Just like he had done that day.

Charlie moved her head towards his chest, the scent of Bass close.

Bass face was still filled with darkness.  _'Move,'_  he growled at the crowd around them.

 _It is over. It is finally over. She knew she was safe now. She had always been safe with him._ She realised her hands were still on her belly and she kept them there.

 _It is over. It is finally over._ She closed her eyes and heard Bass voice.

' _I've got you Charlie, I've got you.'_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very intense chapter, but I wanted to close this part of Charlie's past. Neville was still out there, and how hard this was to write, it is over now...and hopefully, she can try to move one now, one step at the time from that one afternoon in Austin. I wanted to end that shadow for Charlie, and for Bass and to write about how important she is for both Miles and Bass. I always liked the three of them together in the episodes, Charlie between her guys.
> 
> Thank you for your reviews for last chapter, I am so happy you liked it!
> 
> Until the next chapter...Love from Love


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts were we left the story in last one. Bass is holding Charlie in his arms, and carries her home.

Bass held Charlie firmly in his arms. The people that had gathered in the street next to the little alley were looking at him, looking at Charlie and he just wanted to scream at all of them to get the hell out of his way. The only thing he wanted was to get Charlie of the street right now and hold her close.

Pure rage and adrenaline was still pumping though his veins, his muscles were tense and his heartbeat still high. Rage for the fact that Neville had dared to hurt Charlie. Rage for having to watch her in front of his gun. Rage for the fact he was not able to keep her away from him. Rage for Charlie having to go through this again.

He watched Charlie, the weight of her body in his arms, her body against his chest. She had closed her eyes and was holding on to her belly. She was so pale and when she had collapsed his heart had almost stopped.

Neville was gone. It was over. He cursed at himself again for letting it happen. One of his arms was under her knee, the other held her body close to his chest. His jaws were locked, his eyes wide and dark blue.  _He had almost lost her. He had almost lost them both._ He looked down at her. All he wanted to do was take her home, close the fucking door behind them and feel her warmth against his body,.

When he walked into his apartment, he felt how Charlie started to breathe more heavily, panic in her eyes. Her face and eyes filled with so much pain.

He walked straight to the couch and put her gently on it.

And then she started to cry, the tears clouding her blue eyes and sobs were raging through her body. tears were hitting his underarms when he held her face.

' _Charlie, listen to me. It is over, you are safe. It is over.'_ Fuck, he wished he could take all of her pain and hurt away. Now. He could not stand the look of her on his couch, crying, broken, cold.

' _I am sorry. I am so sorry.'_  She kept on whispering. She was rocking her body in front of him, her hands close to her belly in a protective way. She looked at her belly and kept on repeating those same words.

' _Baby, stop. This is not your fault, please Charlie...'_ His voice was breaking while he desperately tried to reach her,  _'Charlie, please look at me.'_

She lifted her head, and her eyes finally found his. First, it looked like she was looking straight through him. But then, he could see it behind her tears. She came back to him. Charlie came back to him and it was like she slowly got out of the shock that had locked her inside of pain and tears and guilt.

' _This is not your fault.'_  His eyes were gentle, his voice low and soft.

Charlie looked into his eyes and felt like the grip around her, was finally letting her go. She slowly reached out her hands for his in a slow and weak way, her hands shaking. She only had to move them a little bit, before Bass reached over her. He pulled her close, and lifted her in his arms. He joined her on the couch and wrapped his body all around her.

' _I love you. I love you.'_  His voice was hoarse, tears in his words. He held onto her, rocked her slowly in his arms,  _'You are safe now, I will never let anybody touch you again Charlie.'_

She could her the rage behind those words.

' _I'm sorry I wasn't there Charlie, just like I wasn't there the day that asshole shoved his gun in your face, I am so..'_ Charlie saw the harsh lines appear in his face, felt his body almost tremble beside her.

' _Bass, stop. Don't.'_  Her voice was soft in the crook of his neck. She knew about his guilt, guilt about the day he had ended up in that conversation with her mom, instead of looking out for her. She also knew that if this man beside her, felt guilt, it consumed him from the inside. She knew he was sorry. He did not have to say it again.

' _Just hold me Bass, please.'_ She grabbed his shirt and her warm breath was assuring in his neck. He placed a hand over hers, both of their hands covering her belly now.

' _Anything I can do?'_  Miles asked, worry in his dark eyes. He had made sure that Neville was buried far away behind town walls, a nameless grave, unmarked. He would never Charlie or Bass where they had buried him. That chapter was now done. When all that mess was behind them, he had walked over to Bass' place as fast as he could.

He found the both of them in Bass' apartment. Her head was resting on the side of the couch, Bass was grabbing a glass of water for her in the kitchen.

Miles knew she had been crying, he knew his brother had been crying.

He watched Bass swallow with difficulty. And crap, that was never a good sign.

' _I need Jo Keller to get over here now.'_ It was almost a desperate order.

' _Wait Keller? The midwife?'_  Miles voices just raised in a dangerously way. He looked at Charlie, tears drying on her cheeks and he took a deep breath and tried not to yell when he spoke again. The girl didn't need a ranting uncle now.

' _Is she...?'_ Miles asked with shock in his eyes, seeing the tears build up in his brothers eyes again.

Bass nodded at him, tears blurring his vision, his voice broken and low when he was able to form the answer into words.' _She is pregnant man.'_

Miles was standing across from Bass. He put his hands through his hair. He considered yelling at Bass for knocking up his niece. Putting a fist in his face. Yell some more.

But he had seen the way Charlie had moved his hands over her stomach when she stood in front of Neville, he had seen how much the idea of losing her and this new kid on the way had ripped apart Bass.

The pain written all over his damn face now, the way he took care of her. He knew Bass would give his damn life for Charlie. So he considered yelling but instead he looked at Bass.

Bass knew hell was about to break lose now Miles knew, he just didn't know how to take any more shit today.

But he watched Miles as he just took a step forward and slung his arm over Bass shoulder before he pulled him close far a fast embrace between brothers.

Then he stepped back.  _'You stay with her, I will get Keller.'_ And with that, Miles was out of the door.

Miles returned with Jo soon after, the woman's energy calm.  _'Well now Charlie,'_  she sat down next to her and Bass _, 'I am going to check on you now okay? Can you take a deep breath for me?_ '

Jo checked on Charlie quickly, while Bass never left her side. He assured the both of them that everything looked fine, and Charlie was doing okay. What she needed now was a warm bath to get cleaned up, rest and sleep. She nodded briefly at Bass and Miles and promised to be back tomorrow and reassured them that they could always find her in her own practice if needed.

Bass felt how a shiver went through Charlie's body. he pressed a kiss against her temple. He saw the dirt of the alley on her skin and clothing. He needed her warm and out of these clothes.

' _I am going to make that warm bath,'_  He said gently.

Charlie nodded at him, feeling more safe now that Jo had told her that she and the baby were doing fine. Feeling more safe now that Bass was close. Feeling more safe that Miles was around. Her body felt heavy and cold. Somehow, always either Miles or Bass was sitting close to her.

She did not how much time had passed but for the second time today, Bass picked her up from the couch and held her in his arms and against his chest.

' _Let's get you in that tub, Charlie.'_ He said hoarsely.

He walked her over to the bathroom. The tub now filled with warm inviting water.

He put her on the edge of the tub, slowly removing her clothing, one piece at the time. His hands were gentle. He slowly let her glide into the water and never left her side. He softly caressed her hair before he moved his fingers over her cheek, and watched how Charlie finally relaxed, her eyes returned to the blue he loved so much.

When Charlie finally felt warm again, and the dirt was soaked from her skin and hair, Bass helped her get out of the bath again. She felt the fabric of the towel against her skin, and then Bass helped her into one of his shirts.

The shirt smelled like him and it reassured her. So tired, her eyes so heavy now. All the energy was draining from her body and her body felt heavy.

_It was finally over._

She curled up deeper under a soft blanket, when she felt a large hand over her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked directly in Miles eyes.

' _Hey kid, you get some sleep. Bass is here and so am I. I am going to sleep on the couch tonight.'_

She saw the gentle expression in Miles eyes, and he pressed a warm kiss on her forehead.

Miles watched his niece, asleep and alive, curled up under heavy blankets. Her eyelashes on her cheeks. If he had lost her today...tears were cornering him at the thought. Anger at the thought that Tom Neville had gotten so damn close. It should have never happened. The last time it happened he had not been there for her. It still stung, knowing he had not been there and she had been there, on her own. He had yelled at Bass, he had yelled at Rachel for letting that happen when he had realised what happened that day.

She was asleep. He watched her for a moment while he gently touched her cheek. He covered her up one more time, adjusting the blankets, before he walked out of the room.

That night Charlie slept, with the knowledge that she was safe, that their child was safe and with Bass' arms around her, his body shielding her and her uncle close to them on the couch.

_Neville was dead._

_It was finally over._

* * *

Charlie took in a deep breath. She found herself in front of a familiar front door. She was waiting, now she had knocked on the door and there was not a way back anymore. Bass had left for work early that morning, and after tea and a slow breakfast Charlie had finally made a decision.

It had been four weeks since Neville had stood in front of her, death staring her right in the eyes. It had been four weeks since part of her nightmare had been over. She had always known Neville was out there, a dark invisible threat so close. But she had survived and she was doing fine. She was still here. She had nightmares again about Austin, about Jason. But since that night in that cold and dark bathroom, she knew she did not have to face them alone anymore.

Bass was there every time she had woken up, covered in sweat, silent tears and screams so close. He held her, rocked her in his arms and simply told her he was here.

Jo, the midwife, had checked up on her a couple of days later, and her body had protected the little baby inside of her. She was doing great, and that was something she and Bass were grateful for. They both knew they could have lost this new life on that day.

What they also were both grateful for, was the fact that Miles had not killed Bass for being the future father of her unborn child. He was his usual self, but Charlie noticed him being around just a little bit more. So now she had two guys watching over her like watch dogs.

And now, it was time for a conversation that Charlie had been pushing away for so long now. She realised that it was not only about her anymore. She had new life to protect and that meant that she had to do this. See if there was a way through. She didn't want this to end in another screaming match, she just wanted to talk. See if there was something left to repair.

Get it out of the way, so the stress and worrying about it would not hurt their unborn child anymore.

The moments before the door opened stretched out in front of her, when memories from so many moments came back to her. The good ones, the impossible ones. She had thought this through and when she had made a decision, she would stand behind that decision.

Bass had asked her not to go alone, and had mumbled something between his teeth and the mention of  _her_ name. But this was Charlie, and when she had an idea in her mind, there was no going back. Bass had realised that and had given in, knowing there was nothing to do to change her mind.

If this was important to Charlie, he would support her. But he swore, if  _the bitch_  did anything to hurt Charlie or his unborn child, he would hurt the hell out of her.

Charlie felt it deep within her, from the day Neville found her. It was a primal feeling of needing, wanting to protect. It was not only her right now anymore, not her and Bass. In the next couple of months her belly would grow, and so would their anticipation of wanting to meet this little child.

Charlie felt she at least had to try to reach some understanding, to see if there would be any kind of foundation to build on with the woman she had not talked with for weeks now.

She knew what she would do if she had to choose. She would choose Bass, she would choose for his love. She would choose her child. Their child.

Miles opened the door, and looked confused for a moment, before she could see the warmth in his dark eyes.

' _Hey kid, good morning.'_

' _Hey,'_  Charlie greeted her uncle,  _'Is my mom here?'_

Miles nodded at her to get in.

When she walked into the kitchen, she felt Miles closely behind her. His tall presence behind her, grounded her, like he had done so many times before in so many difficult moments. In silence, he had been there for her, just like he was now.

Rachel was busy in the kitchen, when she turned around at the sound of her walking in. There was a genuine surprise on her face when her eyes met her daughter.

Miles looked at Rachel with something only Rachel got, a sharp and almost warning gaze that Charlie missed, before he silently walked out the kitchen, giving both woman room and time. He would stay around though.

_So, here they were again,_ Charlie thought. When she had just returned with Bass to Willoughby this kitchen had been the place for so much frustration, old unspoken hurt and trying to get her mother to see where she was coming from. Echo's from their conversations from the past filled the room.

Rachel looked nervous, unsure what to do, when she leaned back into the kitchen counter.

' _Hey Charlie,'_ her voice was unsteady when she spoke. Miles had been talking to her, had been trying to make Rachel understand that things between Charlie and Bass were real. That if she did not even tried to listen to what was important to Charlie, there was a good chance of losing her.

' _Hey mom,'_  Charlie answered, when she took in Rachel. Her mother looked different today , the ice from her eyes was gone.

Charlie was not able to tell her mother right there how much she hoped they would still find a way. They had to, because if they didn't, Charlie would have to step back from her.

She had to, because there was still so much of her life left to live. She did not want to be caught in the past. Rachel did not know about the pregnancy, it was something Charlie did not want her mother to know right now.

Now she knew she was pregnant, she knew that extra stress could be dangerous to her and her baby. And that was something she could not afford. So she had come over here today, to try, to try and see if there could be understanding and some kind of way to be in each other's life.

' _You want to sit down?'_  Rachel asked, when she was not able to keep the hope out of her voice that her daughter would say yes.

' _No, I am fine mom, I won't stay long. I just hoped you could hear me out for a moment.'_

' _Sure,' R_ achel nodded.

Charlie took in another breath before she started.

' _Mom, I am aware of the fact that it is not easy for you to see me with Bass. I know what Bass did in that past. But just as you love Miles, and found a way to forgive him and share your life with him after everything that has happened before, I am building my life with Bass.'_

Charlie's voice was firm, but she had crossed her arms protectively before her chest and her stomach when she had spoken those words.

' _I love him.'_

Rachel's eyes were filled with confusion and emotions, but she did stay in the kitchen, and she did listen to Charlie. Charlie saw her flinch a little bit when she told her mother about her love for Bass.

'  _The only thing I am asking for is a chance here, a chance for you to consider to accept and respect my choice. My choice for Bass. I know, believe me, I know, what happened in the past. I understand that things between the both of you will always be difficult. But I am asking you for a chance, to see if we can stay in each other's life.'_

Rachel was silent, while she considered Charlie's words. Charlie saw her struggle. Her words had been clear. There was silence between mother and daughter, when they stood in front of each other in that kitchen.

Rachel felt each and every one of her daughters words, the certainty in them. She was stunned and was not able to form words. She had not expected Charlie here, and she had not expected her daughter to be so calm, to be so clear in her words.

' _I will go now, I just hope you will think about it.?'_

She waited for Rachel to nod at her, before she turned around and walked out of the small kitchen. Rachel had turned around and held the kitchen counter before her, her hands shaking.

Charlie closed the front door behind her and was fighting back tears that ambushed her all of a sudden.

Tears with that one hope, hope her mother would finally see her and hear her voice.

It was all she longed for, from the moment her moment had came back into her life in Philly. The absence of that, had caused her deep hurt her since being reunited with her mother.

She had tried to make her mother see that yes, this was about Bass, but it was about so much more.

It was about her mother seeing her for who she was. Accept her, hear her, love her.

She heard the door behind her, followed by the sound of boots on the porch steps. She turned around and Miles was standing right in front of her. He took her chin between his fingers, gently lifting her face towards his.

' _You are an amazing_ _kid, you know that right?'_ His voice was tender.

Charlie swallowed a lump and tears away, when she tried to fight against the tears. Miles pulled her close, her head resting against his chest, while his hand cupped the back of her head.

He told himself to get a damn grip, but when it came to Charlie he was like a puppy holding a kitten, like Bass would say so eloquently. He fought back his own tears. He knew how much Charlie still cared for Rachel, and he just hoped Rachel would finally see that she was losing Charlie if she did not even tried give this a chance.

He just wished he could get through to Rachel, make her understand that Charlie had been through enough. She had been through hell and back and was still standing here, asking her mother to be in her life, after all the crap that had happened.

' _Want me to walk you home?'_  Miles already knew the answer, but he offered anyway.

' _Nah, I am fine Miles,'_ she gave him her best smile through her tears, appreciating his concern,  _'I just need some time.'_

' _All right kid, you know where to find me when you need me.'_

Charlie nodded and then she slowly turned around and walked back towards the street. Miles would stand before the porch until she was out of sight.

And Charlie, she knew his was there, every step of the way home.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for your very touching reviews for my Christmas story, That one Kiss. It was overwhelming to read them all! Thank you too for all the reviews for last chapter, I loved hearing from all of you. Your thoughts and reviews are always there in my head, when I start another chapter. I love hearing from you. Love from Love


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter, and the one before, were pretty intensive. Thank you for your great reviews for last chapter! Because there was so much intensity, today, it is time for a little bit of fun between Charlie and Bass. Chapter 39, just before Christmas everyone!

Miles was standing in front of the porch, Charlie had just turned a corner halfway the street . His heart was breaking for the girl. Here she was, trying to see if she could find a way for her and Rachel. After everything, she still wanted to. The last years could have made her bitter, full of anger and darkness, but somehow what made her Charlie was still there.

She deserved a damn medal for that.

He had been there, the moment they had gotten Rachel away from Bass in Philly. He had seen the struggle between mother and daughter since then. He knew he and Bass, had done unforgivable things to Rachel.

But hell, she had given him a chance, while Bass stayed what Rachel called the poison in their lives. Once they had all been friends, although the moment he had thrown himself in an affair with his brother's wife, Bass had distanced himself from Rachel. He knew how Bass had felt about him going behind Ben's back.

Miles did not expect them to be friends again, but maybe for Charlie's sake, Rachel and Bass could find a way to at least be around each other, tolerate each other. Charlie had given Bass a chance, she had seen in him the man that was once Miles closest friend. No hell, more than that, his brother.

He put his hand over his face and sighed in frustration before he walked back into the house. Rachel was still standing against the kitchen counter.

' _I am losing my only child to that man, Miles.'_ She said, without looking at him.

' _Rach, you are not,'_  his voice was firm, ' _she just stood in your kitchen and wants you to be there, can't you see how much she is trying to make this work?'_

Rachel finally turned around.  _'That man is poison, Miles.'_

' _I know Bass fucked up Rachel,'_  he was almost yelling now,  _'but so did I.'_

' _But you are different Miles, different than HIM,'_

' _No, I am not Rachel. We all let Charlie down, we all betrayed Ben in a way. I screwed up as much as he did. Only I...'_ his dark brown eyes were firing at her,  _' I had you guys to pull me out of that shit. When Charlie showed up in my bar, everything chanced.'_

' _I can't believe you are defending him Miles,'_ Rachel eyes shot blue fire at him.

' _I am not justifying his actions Rach, hell, Bass was off the rails. But he is my brother, and that will never chance. I understand where the hell you are coming from, but for Charlie's sake, maybe it is about time you looked beyond hate and revenge. Not for Bass, but for her.'_

They had never talked about this, the way they did now. But Miles felt, that things finally needed to be said. Rachel opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind.

' _I love you Rach, I really do. But I am asking you to focus a little less at Bass and more at Charlie. She deserves a life, a life that makes her happy after all the crap she had to go through. But she also deserves her mother.'_  He stepped back and was almost out of the kitchen door when he looked at her one more time.

' _Don't make her choose.'_

* * *

When Charlie had come home after a long walk in the autumn air after her talk with Rachel a couple of hours later, it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders. It was all out in the open right now and she had finally told her mother what she had come to understand herself. Her mom had not said anything, but Charlie had also seen some kind of understanding in her eyes, the ice in her mother's eyes had melted just a bit. Maybe, maybe there was chance.

She knew her mother, she knew herself. This time, it was time for Rachel to make a step towards her. It was hard, but it had been the right thing to do, she felt that for sure.

When Charlie put the key in the lock to open her front door her tears had dried up. She was hungry, and she seemed to be hungry now throughout most of the day. That was, if she was not nauseous throughout the day. Apparently being pregnant  _did_ mean eating for two. When Miles had teased her about her new appetite, Bass had slapped him at the back of his head and told him to back off. Miles had looked at the both of them with amusement.

She had expected to come home to an empty apartment, but when she walked into the living room, Bass was sitting at her kitchen table. He got up from his chair the moment she walked in.

' _I thought you had meetings all morning?_ ' she said in surprise.

' _Yeah, I did.'_  he answered, not letting his eyes get away from her, ' _but I figured it was nothing your uncle could not handle. You have any idea how many times that prick left me to do the hard work while he started happy hour without me?'_

He walked over to her and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She pressed her forehead against his chest and then moved her head so her lips touched his neck lightly.

There was a silence between them, and when she tilted her head back she could see the questions in his eyes. She could also see his hesitation. When it came to her mother, it was still a sensitive subject. But she knew Bass gave her the space she needed, although she knew how he truly felt about her mom. She could see it in the harsh lines that appeared on his face and the tension around his jaws when she had told him she was about to walk over and see her mom.

She also felt he was here in her living room and not at in those meetings to make sure she was okay and the fact that he had taken the time to be here when she came back meant so much.

She would never admit it, but maybe there was something about having somebody who took care of you every once in a while. She felt his arms around her again and she breathed deep into his shirt.

' _How did things go, Charlie?'_

She took a moment before she answered him.

' _It wasn't easy Bass, but I think I was finally able to tell her what I wanted her to hear.'_ Her voice was soft.

' _Good,'_  he said hoarsely. He meant it. He couldn't care less about Rachel, but he hated to see Charlie go through this. Rachel's choice to come to him and Miles instead of Ben, and what happened next had already cost Charlie so much time with Rachel. If this was what was important to Charlie, he would have her back.

What he would not allow was for Rachel to lash out at Charlie in any way, because of all the fucking mess that happened in the past between Miles, Rachel and himself. He was done hearing Rachel whine in her cold tone when Charlie had done something wrong in her eyes, yet again. He was fucking done with the hurt look in her eyes, although Charlie put on a tough front. Her eyes never lied. It hurt her.

He cupped her face and made sure she looked at him before he continued.

' _Your mom and I Charlie, there is a good possibility that we never get along completely. But You know I am here right, in every way you need me? If you want her in your life, I will make an effort to make it work. For you.'_

Charlie looked into his eyes and nodded with a smile.

' _Thank you, Bass.'_  She said with gratitude. It was at this moment, she realised how for the road had taken them both. Bass really tried. For her.

Then something clicked in Charlie's mind. Miles. Miles had been there at her mother's, while she knew how much work Blanchard put on their desks every single day. He should have been at work, not at her mother's. And how on earth did he even know she was going to be there? There was a small frown appearing on her face.

' _You asked Miles to be there this morning, didn't you?'_ One eyebrow raised, her voice firm.

Bass grinned at Charlie. Fuck, he was busted. That one raised eyebrow probably meant a lot of trouble for him.

He knew how much she hated it when either Miles or himself were being too damn protective over her. But there was no way in hell he would Charlie be alone with Rachel, not now she was pregnant. He said he would make an effort, but he did have his limits when it came to that. He looked at her face to figure out how pissed she was going to be. Because he was damn sure, she was going to be pissed.

Instead of giving him hell she gave him a stunning smile.

' _God, you and Miles can be so adorable._ ' She laughed out loud, seeing Bass' reaction in the darkening of his eyes.

And then Charlie got on her toes and pressed a kiss on his lips.

' _Don't worry General, I won't tell anyone. It will mess too much with the whole bad boy image, right?'_

Hell, Bass thought, maybe he did prefer to the whole  _being pissed at him_  option instead of being called adorable. But her smile had been too inviting so he moved his hands lower and grabbed her ass for a moment in a warning way. Now he was almost pissed

' _Watch it, Charlotte,'_  he almost growled at her. But when she kissed him again, he gave in. He pulled her closer and pressed a long deep kiss on her lips.

She moved her lips from his to his ear.

_'Thank you Bass.'_

She felt how he swallowed heavily, before he burried his face in her hair.

* * *

_3 weeks later_

Charlie felt frustrated. Frustrated and well, with an aching desire for Bass that would not leave her body. The soft curve of her belly was now showing. Every now and then she would look at herself in the large mirror in her bathroom, and saw the small chances in her body.

Since Bass had found out she was pregnant, he had been amazing when they were entangled in each other. Amazing, tender, passionate. And she felt like a very lucky woman for that, his warm hands and hot kisses on her skin but it did not help in fulfilling that desire she felt spreading out from her core to the rest of her body. She loved him, but him treating her like she was some fragile thing was driving her slowly crazy.

She needed more. Her whole body felt different now and she almost felt this primal need to be with Bass. The Bass that had pushed her against and over his desk, before he had entered her from behind and had drove her crazy with his dominance and low growls when he pushed himself deep inside of her. She needed that Bass.

It was late, she had just gotten out of a long bath. Her skin was tingling and her hands under water had moved over her belly, her breasts and finally between her legs. Her body had reacted immediately, thinking off the man that was sitting in her living room with reports that needed to be read before the next morning.

Charlie Matheson decided that those reports would have to wait. Because she could not wait anymore.

He put on one of his shirts, without closing the buttons. She only wore some very tiny panties, and the curves of her breasts were showing, the fabric of his shirt flowing over her breasts.

She walked into the living room slowly and waited for Bass to look up at her. God, he looked good. He was concentrated while he worked, and when he came home earlier this night, he had grabbed some jeans and a simple shirt.

Bass heard her come in and expected her to go to the kitchen to get some tea, while he was tired as hell but still had to go through another report. He looked at her from the corner of his eyes and then he had looked at her again. His shirt was covering some of her body, but damn it, long legs, soft breasts and black panties screamed at him to slide his fingers in to find her soft curls and warm core.

' _Need a break?'_  Charlie said, desire in each and every one of his words when she walked towards him.

He grinned at her, dropping the pencil and moved back in his chair. He watched her body while she moved. Fuck, he wanted her.

' _Come here, baby.'_ His words were almost too low to hear.

When Charlie wanted to straddle him, he stopped her and put her on his lap with her back against him. His warm breath was in her neck, his warm lips on her shoulder, before he bit the smooth and sensitive skin there.

He needed her bad, but he was not sure, now she was pregnant if she wanted that too. But her hunger in her deep blue eyes had woken up something in him too, and he felt the tension running between them.

Without taking his shirt off from her shoulders, he moved his hands over her body. Slowly, hearing her pant more and more. He knew she needed more, but he was teasing her. Touching her hard nipples, her breasts, her legs. He fucking loved to hear her pant for more, her want for him. The fact that she wanted him.

Charlie let out a deep low moan while she let her body fall against Bass hard chest.

Bass was hard as a rock beneath her, his dick pressing into her ass. She moved her hand back to wrap it around his neck and moved her core towards his arm and hand. She needed to feel him between his legs, she needed him there.

Bass slowly spread her legs, while she was still sitting on his lap. Finally he moved away the fabric of her panties and started to move over her folds with his fingers. And then, he touched her clit, slow circles that were bringing her orgasm and the release she needed closer. He held her, one arm wrapped around her, while he moved his fingers deep inside of her. Charlie arched herself back against him and his hardness when she let out another moan when she came, grabbing his fingers inside of her with her orgasm.

But it still was not enough.

' _Bass',_  she panted,  _'Bass, I need you to fuck me.'_

Her words had his cock throbbing. Fuck, he wanted to do just that, his fingers still buried deep inside of her.

' _Bass, please.'_ She added softly.

He let out a deep grunt before he left her wetness and he turned her around in his arms and walked her over to the bed. He placed her on it, while he never took his eyes away from her. He opened the button of his jeans. Charlie got rid of his shirt that she was still wearing, giving him a full view of her curving body.

' _Turn around Charlotte,'_  he ordered her. It was exactly what Charlie needed. She turned her body around and let Bass put her on her hands and knees.

Bass looked at the beautiful woman in front of her, the lines of her body, her ass and long legs. He had one hell of a view from this point and he took some time to appreciate her. All of her.

He freed his cock and placed himself behind her on his knees that now touched the bed, Charlie's ass between his muscular thighs. He put his cock in his hands and let the tip go over and finally between her folds.

' _You need this, Charlie?'_  He said roughly.

He felt how Charlie arched her whole body back to him and moaned deeply.

' _I didn't hear you there, Charlotte.'_  He said, teasing her more with his hardness, low words rolling of his lips in a rhythm that already made Charlie's core spasm.

' _Yes... yes...I need Bass.'_  She was not able to say more, she felt how he slowly entered her, her body stretching around him. He pushed in her, until he was filling her completely. She let out a pant at the way he filled her so almost impossible deeply with this angle.

Bass moved his arm and wrapped one hand over her breast, while the other one moved over her back, his fingers digging deep into the flesh.

He trusted inside of her, and again and again. Her hand went towards her clit, and the image of Charlie touching herself when he was fucking her from behind made him almost come right there. He cursed something under his breath.

Charlie felt how he started to move inside of her with more want, and she felt like her body melted into his. His hardness was surrounded by her soft and tight wetness. She moaned one more time when she felt how she was about to explode. When she came, her whole body moved with her orgasm, and she did not feel her knees or hands anymore.

Bass knew she was about to come and had moved her body over hers, to catch her when her orgasm hit her. He pulled her close against his body while he grunted her name in her ear. He felt the jerk in his balls before he came deep inside of her.

Sated and exhausted, he rested his forehead on her back. They both collapsed on the bed, Bass arms still close around her, still deep inside of her.

There was a wicked but sated smile forming on her face. ' _Now Bass, that was exactly what I needed.'_

Bass laughed at her and pulled her warm body over his, her head on his shoulder, their legs entangled.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone, as I said, in this chapter it was time for something more... light..and fun for Charlie and Bass. ;-) I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and after Christmas you can expect more from this story and It takes two. Thank you all for reading, I love meeting you here and getting to know you all a little bit better... Until the next chapter, Love from Love


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, in last chapter there was a pretty heavy conversation between Miles and Rachel, Miles wanted Rachel to see that she will lose Charlie if she continues like this. Bass was there for Charlie when she came home after talking to Rachel iand at the end of the chapter, there was also a pretty nice and hot moment between Bass and Charlie. ;-)
> 
> Now, after Christmas, it is time to continue the story! Chapter 40! ( 40!? Yes 40! ;-) )  
> I hope you all have some time for this chapter in this busy holiday season! ;-)

 

_**Four months pregnant** _

Charlie just got out of another long bath, something she enjoyed more and more. In the warm water there was all the time in the world to be alone with her changing body. She would place her hands on the swelling of her belly and she smiled, knowing that safely inside of her, their girl or boy was growing. She was more than four months pregnant now, and the changes in her body were now noticeable from the outside too.

That meant, that her pregnancy was not going to be between her and Bass for long now. Miles knew and so did Aaron and Priscilla.

She had wanted to keep it as long between the both of them as she could, and she knew Bass felt the same. He never told her but she knew Bass was hesitant because of the reactions from the people around her. She had tried to reassure him by saying she loved him, that she wanted him, to be with him, to build this life. But she knew the dark guilt and the intensity that still held him captive. She also know how he could get lost in those feelings.

She got out of the bath and was using a towel to dry her long locks while she sat down on the bed. Just as she rubbed the towel along her hair she felt it. It was a very subtle feeling, so she stopped and waited. And there it was again, like tiny little butterflies in her belly. Charlie placed a hand over her belly. She smiled. Waited. And there it was again, that soft feeling. She had wondered the past few weeks what it would be like, and now it was here, she knew exactly what she was feeling.

' _Bass?'_  She asked for him from the bedroom.

Bass dropped the glass on the table in front of him when he heard her from the other room. He rushed over to the bedroom. When he found a radiant Charlie with a smile on her face he relaxed.

She looked up from her belly to him, her long wet curls hanging around her shoulders.

' _I think I just felt our baby, Bass.'_

Bass walked over sat down next to her, and placed his hand over hers. They both knew he was not able to feel their new baby just jet, but he wanted to be there with her. He smiled at Charlie.

' _Hey little one,'_  she whispered softly.

Bass heard the love in her words. He loved strong fierce Charlie, but seeing her like this, so loving and trusting in her words when she wanted him to be there for every step of the way, hell, it was sometimes still too much.

' _Tell me what it's like,'_  he said with a low warmth in his words, when he pressed a gentle kiss in her hair.

And she did, while the both of them sat on his bed for a very long time, just the tree of them.

* * *

_**5 months pregnant** _

A couple of weeks later the small butterflies turned into a more defined feeling. With ever week her body seemed to change more, and it was a late Tuesday night when Charlie decided to see if Bass could feel what she was feeling. So she walked over to the couch and took his hand in hers, placing it on her belly.

Bass looked at her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

' _Wait..'_  Charlie said softly, concentrating on what was happening inside her belly. She felt the warmth of Bass' hand on her skin.

' _There,'_ It was almost a whisper, when she felt the baby, and when she looked at Bass she knew he had too. They waited, and there it was again. So they were both silent, while Charlie looked at Bass, who felt his unborn child against his hand for the very first time.

It was a moment she would never forget, standing in front of Bass, his hand on her belly, both of them together in that special moment.

Charlie went to Jo on a regular basis, and the midwife was pleased with how things were going. Both mother and child were doing just fine.

But still, Charlie and Bass, both of them walked on a fragile road of hope. Bass was worried about Charlie, Charlie was worried about the possibility of losing her child and Bass along with him or her. But she pushed that away. She had told Bass a couple of weeks ago that she had faith, and that was something she held onto.

Later that week, there was a knock on the door. Charlie was about to get up from the couch to walk over to the front door.

It was December and cold outside. Bass had made a fire in the fireplace and the room had a soft glow with light and warmth. It was a late afternoon. She had made herself comfortable on the couch before they would make diner later.

She was reading a book while Bass had enjoyed a whiskey Miles had gotten his hands on.

' _You sit down,'_ he said when he walked over the door.

' _Yes sir,'_  she said with a serious mock tone, causing Bass to warn her with his eyes. He could do that all he wanted, Charlie knew how much he liked it.

So she gave him her best rolling of the eyes that told him yet again she was pregnant, not sick and Bass give her his best  _I don't care, you are going to sit down now_ look. Deciding she was actually pretty comfortable, she let it go and let him open the door. There was a small moment of silence and Charlie looked up from behind the pages of her book.

' _Connor,'_  Bass said, surprised when he saw his kid in front of him.

Over the past couple of months he had spent more time with his son. Connor had settled down in Miles' old studio and slowly, things between the two men had found a way towards something more stable. They spent time together , had a drink in the bar, even talked about Emma a couple of times.

It was a path filled with emotional landmines, but somehow both Connor and himself had not wanted to leave that path.

But Connor had not yet been at his place, Bass had been hesitant about it and Connor had never pushed the matter. The last time Bass had seen Charlie together with his kid at Connor's bed in the hospital he had been a giant asshole to her and it had almost cost him Charlie.

But most of all, he would do anything to protect Charlie. He had come to trust his kid more and more again but the moment Connor had stepped back for Neville and Scanlon to shoot him was still freshly on his mind. It was one of those wounds that would never heal completely, although Bass was aware that Connor had those same wounds.

Bass had reluctantly told Connor about Charlie and himself, and the expected bitterness from Connor stayed away. He was not sure if that was a good sign, being calm and collected did not mean that it was how Connor truly felt, Bass knew that from his own experience.

And now, Connor was here. Charlie was on the couch not far for him.

' _Hey dad,'_  Connor said, hands in his pockets, clearly just as uncomfortable as Bass. He watched his dad and his eyes fell on Charlie, who appeared now just behind Bass. He nodded at her, while Bass looked at the floor for a moment.

Charlie looked at both Bass and Connor. She saw the hesitation on both their faces.

' _You want to come in?'_  Charlie asked, both Bass and Connor looking at her for a moment.

Apparently she had decided to give them a little nudge. She was heartbroken and sick to her stomach for Bass when she heard what Connor did to him that day in his dark despair and rage.

But over time she had understood that at the end of the day, Connor was just like them. Human.

She knew a little about having difficulties with a parent. It was that one thing that had made some bound happen between her and Connor when they were still on the road. It had not nothing to do with love, or lust or sex. Every now and then, they had been able to talk and Connor had showed an unexpected side.

But that was before getting the Republic back suddenly had been all Connor seemed to want. It had been the beginning for her to step back from Connor and after that things were never the same.

She had meant it when she told Bass he did not have to choose between her and Connor. She knew how much he ached for a family, how much he wanted to be there for Connor. It that's what he wanted, she would be there. But she had also been serious when she had told Bass she was not going to accept any crap from Connor.

Bass looked at Charlie, touched by her words. She had always let him talk if he wanted to. She had always let him be when he did not wanted to. She had never come between him and Connor, always gave him room when he had spent time with Connor over at his place or at the local bar. She had just simply been there.

Bass nodded at Connor.

' _We were about to have diner. Hungry?'_  She said simply.

' _I don't know Charlie, I just came over to...'_  He shrugged his shoulders to give himself something to do.

' _Stay,'_  Bass said more hoarsely then he had wanted to. He cleared his throat,  _'I mean, you could stay if you want to. There's more than enough.'_

The first moments were more than awkward. Charlie grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of the kitchen and poured both man a drink. That probably could not hurt right now.

' _So, dad over here told me you are together now._ '

Charlie held her breath for a moment. She knew this was something that was coming, Bass knew it too. He stepped a little bit closer to Charlie.

' _We are Connor,'_ Charlie answered before Bass could speak, not looking away from Connor.

Connor finished his drink. Both Bass and Charlie were not sure what was about to happen next.

' _I can't say I did not see it coming,_ ' he said.

' _What?'_  Bass said hoarsely.

' _Oh come on dad, this thing between you,'_  Connor nodded his head between the both of them,  _'you really think I did not see it? All those looks, all that tension.'_  There was a little hint of bitterness in his voice.

Bass swallowed something heavy away from his throat.  _Damn it_ , this was hard. And then Charlie took a step forward to Connor, calmly.

' _Connor, what happened between us in Vegas, it should not have happened.'_  Charlie said. There it was. The truth. The whole truth,  _'I was in such a bad place, and I did something for the wrong reasons.'_

It was the truth, she had told Connor she slept with him because she was bored and that he was cute. That's the version she made everyone else believe, including herself, for a very long time.

But Bass had known there was more to it. Charlie knew he knew the moment he had walked next to her and confronted her about choosing a Monroe out of all the man out there who where available. Connor knew too, now he had talked about it.

And Charlie, she was not the one to hide behind any half truths. It was time to talk about his, and hopefully move on.

' _We both knew it meant nothing Charlie, that time in Vegas,'_  Connor looked at her, while he ignored Bass his reaction at his words, relieve again on his dads face to hear it from Connor himself too. The anger Charlie would have expect to find there wasn't there.  _' I pretty much figured it out quickly what the whole story was.'_

Charlie crossed her arms before her chest, for a moment realising again what happened there in Vegas and that the choice she made had been one for the wrong reasons.

' _Anyone with eyes can see that you are good together,'_  Connor continued _, 'and I see there is even a mini-mini Miles on the way,'_  his eyes were now more gentle. He cared for Charlie, they had fought alongside each other and he once told her she was not like the girls at home. He respected her for that. But he also knew she was not for him. There had never anything between them that even came close to having feelings for each other.  _'Maybe it is time to let the past be the past.'_

He looked at Charlie, but he also looked at Bass when he spoke that last line. There was a silence after that, when all of them agreed silently that it was time to let that part of their past be the past.

After that, the energy seemed to feel more freely. They shared food and the guys shared more whiskey. Connor talked about a job he could get in Austin and Charlie could see Bass' face light up when he wanted to know what Bass thought about it.

Bass let his kid talk, while he sat next to Charlie. He looked at Connor, while he talked about his future. He looked at his son and then he looked at Charlie. His put his hand on her knee under the table for a moment, gently touching her with smooth lines with his fingers.

When they finished their dinner, it was late. It was dark outside and Charlie felt tired, her eyes heavy with sleep. She got up from the chair and placed a hand on Bass' shoulders, who grabbed her hand for a moment and squeezed it slightly.

' _I think this is goodnight for me guys,'_ Charlie said _, 'Good to see you Connor.'_

' _Thank you Charlie,'_ Connor said to her _, 'for tonight and, for not burning dinner,'_ a wide grin appeared on his face. Her cooking skills, or the lack of it, was something Connor had teased her with from the beginning.

She rolled her eyes at him, but she could not help but laugh. But then, when she was almost out of the room her face got serious.

' _Connor, I know things between you and Bass have been hard. But what he was willing to do for you in Vegas, to give up his life in a heartbeat so you could live yours? You are lucky you have someone on your side who is willing to fight that hard for you.'_

Without thinking she placed a hand on the curve of her belly when she spoke again.

'  _It is more important than any other thing out there. Don't doubt his love for you. I know, family is messy and hard. Believe me, I understand. But don't you ever doubt his love for you.'_

She had looked from Connor to Bass as she spoke that last line. She could see tears in Connor's as well in Bass eyes. Connor nodded at her.

She smiled briefly at him, before she met eyes with Bass and held his for a moment before she walked out of the room to give them space and time they could both use.

Later, Bass walked into the dark bedroom. He had finished the bottle with his son, and for the first time in a long time, he felt things might be work out for once in his life.

He felt Charlie's warmth under the blankets, and placed a hand on her stomach the other one going through her hair gently.

' _You are an amazing woman, Charlie.'_

Fuck, the truth was she was better than the whole town together.

He pressed a kiss in her hair before he closed his eyes.

' _I meant it Bass, the things I said to Connor. You are a good parent to him and you are going to be such an amazing dad to this little one,'_  she whispered in the dark.

She could hear him swallow behind her.

' _You think so huh?'_  She could feel the emotions running through him.

' _I don't think that Bass, I know for sure.'_  She grabbed one of his arms and pulled it strongly around her. Bass only pulled her closer to his chest.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, as always, for reading! It was time for some personal moments between Charlie, Bass and their little one, but it was also time to introduce Connor back in their lives. All ever Bass wanted is a family, and in this chapter, another step towards that wish is taken and things that needed to be said, were said.
> 
> I hope to update another chapter in a couple of days, I hope you are still enjoying the story.. please feel free to leave a review when you have some time! Until the next chapter... Love from Love


	41. Chapter 41

__  
**6 months pregnant**  


Charlie let out a small sigh in frustration, when she tried to push some of her clothing in Bass' already way too full closet. There was not enough room but she was going to make it work, adding a little more pressure to make sure everything would fit.

Bass was looking at a determined and frustrated Charlie, while he was leaning into the doorway of the bedroom not far from her. She had not even heard him come in. He was doing his best to hide his grin, to not piss her off even more.

' _You need some help there, Charlotte?'_

When she heard her full name she raised an eyebrow with more frustration.

' _No, Bass, I don't. It's just this stupid closet of yours.'_ She sighed again, thinking if it  _was it too much to ask to sleep in clean room and with some room for her stuff?_  She just could not stand the clutter and clothes on the floor anymore.

' _Yeah about that. Tell me something. What do you say about getting a bigger closet?'_

' _A bigger one?'_ Charlie said, not looking at him when she finally won the battle inside his closet and her pants found a place on the shelf in front of her. She blew some hair out of her face.

' _A bigger one, big enough for all of your stuff and mine.'_  He put some extra emphasis on the word ALL.

He watched her, when she slowly came to the conclusion herself. He had wanted to ask her this for a couple of weeks now, but he had been unsure, unsure about how she would feel. Unsure if it was too soon.

But she was going to be the mother of his child, and  _damn it_ , he hated that there was even a possibility of her going home to her own place, leaving his bed way too empty. Here he was. 47, used to running a damn country but afraid to ask Charlie if she wanted to move in with him.

' _Did you just ask me to move in with you?'_ She said, disbelieve in her voice, while her eyes were bright and a smile formed around them.

' _If I would, would you say yes?'_  his tone low.

' _Try me,'_  she said, putting her hands on her hips.

' _Well, in that case,'_  he walked over to her slowly,  _' Charlie, want to share this appartment with me?'_

Charlie stood on her toes to reach for him, her lips on his while they were both grinning. ' _Yes, Bass, I want to move in with you.'_

 _A_ nd then Bass pulled her close and he started to move both of them to his bed.

' _What are you doing?'_

' _Celebrating,_ ' Bass said in his low voice, his hands already going under her shirt, his strong hands on her lower back. Charlie moaned into his kiss at his touch.

Charlie simply loved his idea of celebrating. His hands were roaming over her body not long after.

' _You lay back baby, let me take care of you_ ,' his tongue was going over the skin in the crook of her neck.

He touched her everywhere, kissing, touching, biting softly at her soft skin. His head disappeared between her legs and his wet tongue found her clit while she arched herself towards his touch. She took in every movement of his lips and tongue before she finally had to let go and came hard against his tongue. Bass moved behind her and helped her move one of her legs over his. He touched her clit, rubbing it slowly and moved inside of her from behind her. The sound of his balls touching her skin when he filled her completely drove Charlie insane and had her beg for more and more. Bass gave her more until she started to moan his name.

' _God, Bass, yes...'_  and with that deep moan that filled the room, she came around him. His hands were over her smooth large breasts when her orgasm hit her. He gave her some time before he started to move inside of her again, this time with more speed and force. She was wet and warm and he loved her body, her curves now fuller and her skin glowing.

He needed to feel her, all of her while he started to pump in and out of her. Bass got lost in deep trusts before he could feel the jerk in his balls that were touching her smooth skin when he filled her as much as he could.

He cursed something under his breath before her name rolled of his lips. He came deep inside of her when her hands were around his neck, her ass firmly pressed against his stomach. His warm seed filled her, and he could only groan when he felt how he emptied himself inside of her, his lips against the sweaty salty skin of her shoulder.

Charlie fell asleep against him, and he watched her, he watched her belly while he made soft lines with his fingers over her belly. He held her while she slept in his arms.

* * *

_**7 months pregnant** _

_It was still cold, and it was almost spring when the sky held the colour of an icy blue. It was a clear day, and the town was full of buzzing energy. People were on their way, visiting the market that was set up in the main street. Rachel Matheson was on her way to this market. She needed some fresh air and they were running out a few things she could buy at the booths. Somewhere between the booths she saw them, and she watched from a distance._

_He was laughing at her, a hand casually on her lower back. She was smiling back, her shoulders relaxed and a smile on her face that Rachel remembered from a world and lifetime ago. And then she turned her body and Rachel's mouth fell open. She was pregnant. Pregnant._

_She felt tears welling up in her eyes. Her daughter was pregnant and she had not even known about it. She looked at a Bass she had not seen in decades. She reminded her of the man she once knew, back when the world seemed so much more simple. He looked more like that man now the steal in his eyes had dissapeared. Instead his eyes were on Charlie with something reflecting in them she did not think he was capable off anymore._

_She had to turn her eyes away from them. Charlie was pregnant and looked so happy._

_Rachel had fought so long for her daughter to be happy, to have a life, to live her life that she completely missed that her strong girl had found a way on her own to build that life for herself._

_And she was missing it. She forgot what things she still needed to buy and walked home, the full realisation of that hitting her like a slap in the face. When she walked into her home, silent tears were streaming down her face. She sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and cried. Cried for her daughter, cried for what she had missed and still was missing._

_That's how Miles found her hours later, silently sitting on the chair, her head in her hands, the evidence of tears still on her face. Miles kneeled down next to her._

Charlie was almost home when she saw them together.

' _I already told you Rachel, she is not here. I'll tell her you stopped by,'_  his voice curtly, the lines in his face on edge.

Her mother was standing right in front of him, a small bundle in her hands. The energy around them was icy and for a moment Charlie was back at the day she had found her mother and Bass arguing on that grey and miserable day Miles went missing.

She pushed that memory back. That was the past. She held her head high when she walked towards her mother.

' _Mom,'_  she said firmly, not sure what she was doing here, and not sure she could face another showdown between her mother and Bass.

Bass looked up at the sound of her voice, and the same memory from another day with another argument with Rachel had crossed his mind too and for a moment he held his breath. He felt the old guilt again, and he really hated Charlie to see him again with Rachel, in yet another argument.

But then her eyes found his, and he was able to let that breath out. Her eyes were not cold, they were warm and trusting when they met his.

' _Charlie, I...,_ ' Rachel hesitated, and Charlie never saw her mother this vulnerable. Something close to hope lit up inside of her,  _'...you're pregnant.'_  Rachel's eyes went to her belly.

' _Yeah, we are,'_  Charlie's voice sounded a little flat, unsure too about where this was going. Bass watched her, his eyes reassuring her, telling him he was right here before he watched Rachel again.

' _How are you feeling?'_  Rachel asked.

' _Good mom, we are all doing good.'_

Rachel nodded. She noticed Bass had walked back into the apartment but he was leaning into the kitchen table not far from them. His eyes were still on her, and this time, the steal in his eyes was back.

' _I just wanted to give this to you,_ ' Rachel moved her hands with a small bundle in it towards Charlie, and Charlie saw her mother's fingers were trembling, while she watched how the nervous twitch around her mother's lips was visible for a couple of seconds.

Charlie took the bundle wrapped in paper from her.

' _This belonged to your grandmother, she kept it in the attic and I found it yesterday. I am sure she wanted you to have it.'_

Charlie unwrapped the paper and in her hands she held a children's book, from a time and world long ago. There were beautiful pictures in soft pastel colours on the cover and her grandmother's name, Charlotte, had been written down in her grandmothers handwriting on the first page. Charlie looked it, the small heirloom that had been in their family for so long. It was like a little bit of her grandmother was here.

This little reminder of her, had been hidden behind some boxes in the attic of her grandfather's house, forgotten over time, and now decades later, Rachel had found the blanket again. She had remembered her own mother and when she had held the old but valuable book in her hands, she wanted to pass her mother's favorite book with fairytales to Charlie.

Charlie held the book in her hands that was the tangible symbol for hope between her and her mother she had almost lost.

Rachel smiled at her and this time Charlie saw something of the smile her mother used to gave her, many years ago.

' _Thanks mom,'_  Charlie said. Rachel just nodded. When she was about to walk away she walked passed Charlie. She wanted to embrace her daughter so very much, but for now, she would take those words, and hope that maybe some other day she would get to hold her daughter again. For now she walked towards the stairs from the apartment building.

Charlie had walked closer to the front door, Bass again close and behind to her. Rachel did not turn, but when she spoke both Charlie and Bass heard her.

' _Congratulations to the both of you.'_

And then she started to walk down the stairs, leaving Charlie and Bass behind.

Charlie's eyes were tearing up, her hands clenched around the book wrapped in paper. She just stood there, not being able to do anything else for a moment. It were Bass fingers that caressed her neck, the pressure and touches soothing her. She was thankful he did not speak, that he was giving her time to realise what just happened, what her mother gave her with that simple gesture and six simple words.

But she was also thankful Bass was there, with her, in that moment. She had no idea if things between her mother and herself would work out, but it was good to see her. And she really liked the book that had been hidden so long in that attic.

Bass slowly walked with her inside their home and closed the door behind him. Charlie walked over to the couch. Her hands were going over the cover of the book absentmindedly.

She cried silent tears and felt Bass' arm around her after he sat down with her on the couch. Bass moved his back towards the back of the couch, while he took Charlie with him. Her head was tucked under his chin and he made smooth circles over her arms and neck. He let her cry.

' _It has been so hard,'_ Charlie said softly.

She was finally able to let those words out. It had been hard. So very hard. And she knew, things between her mother and her would never be what they could have been. And not just, like she once tought, because Bass had held her captive for so long.

But because her mother had her part in changing this world forever.

Because Charlie knew now that her mother had gone freely to Miles many years ago when Miles and Bass had asked for Ben. She understood now why her mother had gone, now aware of her history with Miles.

Because her mother had not wanted to listen to her since the moment mother and daughter had reunited in Philly. Her mother had known best, but Charlie, she had grown. She had given everything to take care of her brother, to build a life, to be strong and stay strong, and her mother had never even paid attention to that achievement like Charlie felt she should have.

But maybe, today had been a start. Or maybe not. But she was finally able to let go of tears that she needed to cry for so long now.

Bass pressed a kiss in her hair. The dark sting in his chest of seeing her pain hit him every damn time. He had his part in that pain and he would take that with him forever. But Charlie had started to forgive him, just like she had forgiven Miles and Rachel. It meant the world to him. Charlie was not the girl that let her emotions show when she was struggling if she could help it.

Somewhere down the road, he had become somebody she trusted. Her pain made him at a loss for words now. So he did what he had done for so long now, he was there for her, in silence.

But this day it was not from a distance like he had started to do from that damn day he had carried her out of that bar in his arms, away from those assholes that dared to touch her. This time he got to hold her in his arms,rocking her gently, as long as she needed to be held.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was chapter 41, and it is a lot of work this story but oh I love to write this! I love to explore all of this...Your reviews are so very rewarding, so thank you! They help me, together with coffee, lots ot it, during long writing sessions!
> 
> Rachel took a first step towards Charlie and maybe towards a relationship with her daughter again. It meant the world to Charlie and that was what that part of the chapter was about, that finally Rachel took a step towards her as a mother. And...Bass and Charlie are moving in, what a normal thing to do, right? :) Until next chapter! Love from Love


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In last chapter, Bass asked Charlie to move in with him and her answer was yes! Later in the chapter, Rachel saw Charlie with Bass at the market, realising that Charlie is building a life on her own, with Bass, and she is missing it. It made her visit Charlie and when Charlie came home, Rachel was there, taking the first step. Bass was there when Charlie was finally able to let old hurt get out..

**8 months pregnant**

One more week, and she would be 8 months pregnant. She was looking around his living room. No, wait. Their living room now. Every now and then, she still had to remind herself of that fact. She had never moved in with anybody and she loved it all. And now she had moved in with Bass.

The bantering about what to keep and what not, where things should be and where they should not be placed had been filling their new home quickly after their decision.

Miles had walked in on them arguing over where a chair should be and he had sat back on the couch and watched them in amusement. He never told them, but it was the most healthy thing he had seen the both of them do in a very long time.

He had told Bass he should have known better then to argue with a pregnant woman when he watched how Bass lost the battle about the chair involved in this particulair argument. It earned him a growl from Bass and a  _'Shut up'_  from Charlie. Miles had held his arms up in surrender.

She had moved in. All of her things had found a place in his, no again, their home. It felt good.

_Both Aaron and her had stood in the now again empty living room of the small apartment and had looked around them, just the two of them. Bass and Miles were arguing in the hallway behind them about how to move a couch through it._

' _Thank you Aaron, for giving my first real home.' She nudged his shoulder with his._

_She thanked him for the fact that she could look back on the fact that she had a first apartment. All hers. She had loved it here, and she was sad to see it go._

' _No problem, kiddo.' Aaron said with a smile._

_When Charlie had told him about the new Monroe/Matheson baby on the way, he had been truly happy for her. Monroe could still be a dick to him and in general to the world, but he was good for Charlie and he could see Charlie loved him. He loved her. Between everything that was going on, it was simple as that. That, and well, he knew Charlie and he could say after all those years they had been family now, that if Charlie wanted something, her stubbornness would prevent her to change her mind anyway._

_Priscilla had asked them both over for dinner a while ago, and first he was not too happy about that. Charlie would bring Monroe, and that meant sitting through a dinner with that guy. Something they had never done before. But to his surprise, Monroe had made an effort. He was actually pretty good with Zoe en he had complimented both Priscilla and him for the food and nice whiskey. Aaron had promised Charlie to give the guy a chance, and well, that's what he would do. For her._

' _Are you okay there?' He noticed the sad look on Charlies face._

' _It's just, I had a really good time here,' Charlie said, 'I like this place.'_

' _I understand kiddo, but you are starting a new chapter of your life. And I can guarantee you, your first home is something you will look back on many more years.'_

 _She looked at Aaron with a warm smile._ ' _Is that so?'_

' _Well, let me tell you about my first horrible yet charming studio in New York. It had one tiny window and the neighbours had this giant dock, the other neighbours were doing some kind of drugs things but...'_

_Charlie started to laugh in the middle of his story. She listened to the rest of his story with a smile around her lips, while she spent some more time with Aaron in the living room of her first home._

_Right outside the window she could still hear Bass and Miles calling each other dickheads while they had made some progress with her couch she had insisted on taking with her to her new home._

There were still a couple of boxes full of clothing that still needed to be unpacked. She walked into the bedroom and the big closet that Bass promised finally stood against the wall on her left. She had loved it from the very beginning. Bass had found it in Austin and had spared no costs or trouble to have it delivered here. The wood was a light colour, and it felt smoothly under her hands. It had finally arrived yesterday morning.

She opened the doors of the large wooden closet. It was empty and waiting for her pants, tanks and other things she wanted to keep there.

The shelves were all empty, expect for one.

Her eyes fell on a small little box in the middle of it.

First she looked surprised. Then she reached out her hand to grab the little thing in her hands. The box was covered with a velvety dark fabric that felt soft. She did not know why but her heart started to pound in her chest and her face felt warm.

Bass had waited all damn day for Charlie to walk into that room, and for her to open the boxes that still needed to be unpacked. He had made one lame excuse after the other why he should stay home just a little bit longer and had been surprised that she had bought his crap. Finally, after what felt like fucking forever she had walked into the room. He had followed her and he had watched her from a distance when she opened the doors of the large closet.

She stood at the same place where he had found her a weeks ago, when she tried to push some pants in his already full closet. He had asked her to move in with him that day.

Today he would ask her something else.

He watched the look on her face, and all of a sudden his heart was racing, his hands sweaty.

Charlie heard Bass come in behind her.

' _What is this?'_  She asked him in shock, the small box in her right hand.

' _I don't know, you tell me.'_  He nodded at the small box in her hands, his mouth dry while he watched how Charlie looked at the small box.

Her fingers were trembling when she finally opened it. She let out a gasp when she saw the simple ring with the small but so incredibly beautiful diamond placed in the band of the ring. It was just perfect.

She could only look at it for a moment when she felt Bass' hand on her arm. She met his eyes, not able to say anything.

Bass watched Charlie, and he took one more breath. He took the ring from the box.

' _I don't think I can ever tell you how much you mean to me,'_

His voice was hoarse.

' _I don't think I can ever tell you how damn much it means to me that you saw something in me worth looking at from the start. You are going to be the mother of our child. You are strong, and fierce and stubborn and beautiful in every meaning of the word. And I do not only want to share this home with you, I want to share my life with you.'_

He knew he was tearing up like some damn softy but he could not give a fuck.

Charlie had started crying along with him, hearing his words filled with love, spoken in a low warm tone that went right through her chest.

She watched how Bass got on one knee.

' _What are you doing?_ ' Charlie wanted to know, she had heard his words but somehow she was in some kind of shock and that were the words her brain had come up with.

' _I am doing this how a man is supposed to do this, Charlie.'_

He held the ring before her and locked eyes with her.

' _Charlotte Matheson, Charlie, will you marry me?'_

She nodded when a sob filled with pure bliss escaped her throat.

And then she placed a hand on his cheek, the stubble of his beard under the palm of her hand.  _' Bass, I will. I will marry you.'_

'Y _es!'_ She smiled through her tears _, 'God, yes.'_

She watched how he slowly placed the ring around her finger. And then he got up again, placing a hand around the back of her head and pulled her in for a long watched her hand, the amazing ring on her finger. His ring. For her. She watched how Bass held her hand in his and moved it gently towards her lips. Then he kissed her.

' _I love you,'_  he whispered against her lips.

' _And I love you,'_  she whispered back before their lips met again, she looked at him and swallowed salty tears of joy away,

_'_ _Bass you have been there for so long now. No matter what, no matter where we were,you were there. No matter how much I pushed you away, you were still there. Making sure I put one foot in front of the other. Making sure I am still alive. Making me see I could love again, in a way I never thought would be possible. I want you to be there every day, and I want to be there right with you.'_

Their foreheads met, unspoken emotions that could not be put in words were running through them.

So they touched, they held on to one other for a very long time, her pregnant belly safely in between them.

' _So, you like the ring huh?'_

' _I love it Bass, it is perfect.'_

' _Miles already said you would like it,'_  Bass confessed.

 _'What?'_  Charlie said when she looked at Bass again.

' _I kind of asked his permission to marry you, Charlie.'_  Bass said hoarsely.

' _You both cried like idiots while you both tried to hide that from the other right?'_  Charlie said, teasing him.

Bass let out a huff of laughter. ' _Sort off,'_  He tried, but yeah,  _damn it_ , it was exactly what happened. Miles had been actually happy for him, and it had been Miles who knew about his plan to ask Charlie today. The idiot was probably around somewhere.

They both laughed.

' _Seriously Bass, I am so happy the both you are on speaking terms again. That I get to have the both of you in my life.'_

Bass pulled her into a hug. _'And that will never chance Charlie, we are here, the both of you.'_

A sweet kiss turned into a passionate one after that. He softly touched her breasts and the curves of her pregnant belly.

' _Bass, what are you doing?_ '

' _Remember what happened when I asked you to move in with me?'_

Charlie remembered, Bass had pulled her over to him and had placed her on the bed behind them, celebrating that news with her.

Charlie looked at her belly.  _'But Bass, I am huge.'_

' _No you are not baby, you are beautiful.'_

And he kissed her again, his thumb caressing her left nipple through the fabric of her shirt and bra.

' _We are celebrating again Charlie,'_  he whispered in her ear in a way that made her shiver under his warm breath.

They made love, his hands going all over her body, Charlie's smooth naked body next to his. The ring on her finger as a promise for their life together. Their belly under his fingers when they moved room would be filled with love, soft moans and low grunts for the rest of the night. And when they woke up in soft morning light, Bass would start at the beginning, loving Charlie and her body all over again.

That was of course, untill Miles was knocking on their front door, not being able to wait anymore what Charlie's answer was. When she openened the door, with the ring on her finger and a bright smile on her face he knew the answer. He hugged her, nd patted Bass on his shoulder before he muttered something like what the hell, and pulled Bass closer for a fast hug, congratulating them both. Bass and Miles had a drink, while Charlie toasted for their engagment with a cup of thea with the both men in her life she loved beyond anything.

So, that morning, in their home, Miles, Bass and Charlie toasted to the great news, when two glasses of Whiskey and a cup of warm tea met each other above their kitchen table.

_**9 months pregnant** _

Aaron needed a second to catch his breath. His hands were on his knees as he tried to get some extra oxygen into his lunges. He gave himself exactly five seconds before he started running again. He stormed into the building in front of them. Stairs, he needed to find the stairs.

' _Sir, you can't go up there, '_  Aaron ignored the young secretary behind the desk, ' _Sir, wait, you can't just storm in there.'_

'Yes I can _!'_ Aaron managed to get out, before he ignored her again. He had to, because Monroe had kind off told him in very clear words what would happen if he would not do what he was doing right now.

Second door to the left, he repeated in his head. He pushed the doors open and looked right into a room full of officers and a very amused Miles, who was standing next to the large table in the middle of the room, a table filled with maps and other official papers, who gave him the once over.

' _Good morning everyone,_ ' Aaron said drily, ignoring all the eyes on him before he saw Monroe.

' _Ah there you are,'_  trying to keep his composure the best way he could, sweat on his forehead and still out of breath, when he found the General he had been looking for. He had ran all the way from Monroe's and Charlies place.

Bass had watched Aaron storming in their meeting and he was already out of his chair, throwing the reports he had in his hands on the table in front of him. He knew why Aaron was here, he had told him to get him immediately if Charlie was going into labor. He hated he had to go to this stupid meeting, while all he wanted to do was be with her, now she was so close to her due date.

Before Aaron could say another word he was taking large steps towards the door. Charlie. He needed to get to Charlie.

Miles nodded at him to get out of here on his way, he would take care of all this shit, with a mixture of so much emotions in his deep dark brown eyes when he looked at Bass. Both brothers held each other's gaze before Bass stormed out of the meeting.

Aaron was right behind him.

' _She is at home, Priscilla is with her and Jo is on her way,'_  Aaron managed to get out. And that was the last thing he was able to say to Monroe, because Monroe was practically flying off the stairs in front of him.

' _Thanks Pittman,'_ Monroe yelled at him from the bottom of the stairs.

Charlie, the one thing on his mind was Charlie. Charlie and their baby. He had to get home, now, and god help anybody who would be in his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are...Aaron just ran all over town for Charlie :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Until the next chapter, Love from Love!


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember where we started this story? On that grey cold day,when Miles was missing and Charlie stumbled into that one argument between Bass and her mother after Neville just pulled the trigger of his gun? And now..we came such a long way, and everything has changed. Time has moved on and now Bass is on his way home, after Aaron stormed into his meeting...

When Bass stormed into the living room, it reminded Charlie of him storming right into a fight. His eyes were a stormy blue and the door flew open in a crashing way when his eyes immediately found her.

' _Hey you,'_  she said calmly and with a smile.

Bass met her calm blue eyes, when he let out a deep breath. Jo was sitting close to her on the couch and Priscilla just walked out of the kitchen with a glass of water.

' _Hey,'_  he scraped his throat while he walked over to her and kneeled down in front of her _,_ his hand on her leg _. 'you all right?'_

' _I am fine Bass, but I think he or she is on his of her way'_  Charlie assured him, but then her voice got softer _, 'I'm glad you are home.'_

A while ago she had felt something in her lower back. Bass had to go to a morning meeting he could not miss and he had asked Aaron and Priscilla to stay with her until he came back. Before he had been almost out of the door, he had said something to Aaron she could not quite hear. Aaron had assured him, answering with a yes, and then Bass came back to kiss her one last time, worry in his eye he was not able to hide from her.

First she had paid no attention to that new feeling deep inside her stomach, but her body had made it clear that their baby was on the way. Aaron rushed over to Jo who had arrived a little bit later, before he had rushed all over town again to get to Bass. Her water had broken not much later.

She had felt excitement, joy and then she realised the moment was there. That one moment she and Bass had been living towards the past 8 months. And then something cold had appeared in her stomach.  _Faith,_  she had remembered herself, faith in her little boy or girl.  _Faith._ She had pushed that cold feeling away and had focussed on her breathing, just like Jo taught her, when the first contractions moved through her body.

And now, Bass was here, his hand wrapped around hers and his eyes for her to focus on.

' _I'm here baby, right here,'_ Bass said to Charlie, and there was a small smile around her lips that faded quickly again, when another contraction washed over her. She squeezed his hands when she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

An hour later, Miles arrived. He had made sure everything was taken care of, but he had not give a damn anymore about the whole meeting,after he knew Charlie's and Bass' kid was on they way. It had been Blanchard himself that had patted him on the shoulder, while the man had poured himself some whiskey and told him to go home to his family.

He had felt not too comfortable with the whole walking into Charlie going into labor thing, for many reasons. He had absolutely no clue in hell what he could say or do to help her. And memories of another day and Bass that had collapsed in his arms, numbness and desperation on his face, when his brother had lost his family again, were with him every step of the short walk from work to their place.

Miles greeted Charlie, earning him a nod and short smile before Miles turned his attention to Bass. He knew his brother enough to see the tension running through his entire body. He put his hand on his shoulder for a moment, both man nodded at each other. Charlie felt how her focus started to shift more and more from the world around her to what was happening inside of her. All the noises around her started to become too much. She was nauseous with all the sounds of movements around her when a stronger contraction flooded through her. She put a hand on her belly and almost curled up around that hand from the pain, bending forward when the pain got stronger again.

' _Are you all right, kid?'_  Miles said, concern on his face but his voice still casual to hide his worry for her, for their unborn child and for Bass.

Charlie sat up straight again and looked at him,raising one eyebrow.  _'What do you think, Miles. I have to push a tiny person out of me, and you are asking me if I am all right?'_ Irritation and pain in her words. Her voice sounded more edgy than she had wanted to be, but her emotions were all over the place and the pain was not so easy to bear anymore.

Bass and Miles exchanged a fast understanding look when Jo stood up.

' _Gentleman, I think it is time we give Charlie some room,'_  she nodded at Aaron and Miles . _'_

 _Why don't we move to the bedroom?'_ Her voice was calm when she turned her attention completely towards Charlie and Bass. Charlie focussed on her voice when Jo looked at her with a reassuring nod. Bass helped her get up from the couch and walked her towards their bed, his hand on her shoulder, his body close to hers.

Bass saw the pain running over her face with every contraction, and he wished he could do more. Take it all away, help her. He felt damn powerless when Charlie let a small cry of pain escape from her throat.

* * *

Bass focussed on Charlie, and tried to push all the other things in his head away. It did not work. Images of blood and the smothering sense of heat in a tent, the smell of death so close.

 _Faith_.

He had to have faith, but fuck, he was not as strong as Charlie, and there was a wild panic spreading to him with every minute he had to watch Charlie in pain. He had pulled a hand over his scruff when Jo was checking on Charlie, not being able to sit still. Morning had moved into the afternoon and now it was almost evening. Charlie took every contraction the best way she could, too stubborn to show Bass or anyone else in how much pain she was. She was laying in their bed, sweat on her forehead, pain in her eyes and on her face.

 _'Charlie, you can start pushing now,'_  Jo said, while she made eye contact with both Charlie and Bass.

Charlie and he locked eyes and he pressed a kiss on her temple, a hoarse whisper in her ear.  _'I'm here baby, you can do this.'_

That was half an hour ago. Fifteen minutes ago Charlie had allowed him to hold her right hand, and he had seen a small shift in her eyes. They became more unfocussed. She became more pale. Jo's voice had stayed calm throughout the whole day, but he could also hear the small shift in her voice as well. Her grip on his hand was not as strong anymore.

' _Charlie, we are almost there. A couple of more pushes now,'_ Jo said again, encouraging her.

Charlie closed her eyes, the pain now a constant one, the waves co close to one another that there was no place to go anymore. She was tired, in pain, and there was an impossible pressure low in her belly that shot right through her. She felt exhausted. So exhausted. She heard Jo's voice to tell her to push again, she felt Bass' hands and knew he was close.

' _So tired...'_  she muttered, when was not able to keep in another low scream when another sting of pain shot through her.

' _Baby, look at me,'_  Bass tried to keep his voice steady, but the panic had started to spread through his whole body when Charlie had closed her eyes and her hand had stopped squeezing his,  _'Charlie, hey, open your eyes, we are almost there.'_

He watched Jo, who sat on the other side of the bed, one of her hands on Charlie's belly.

' _Charlie,'_  her voice was now firm, ' _Charlie, listen to me, you need to push, right now.'_

' _Bass...'_ her voice sounded so weak, '...dizzy...'

Bass felt fear ripping him apart from the inside, his mouth open, his eyes wide with shock and on Charlie. _Damn it, No. He was not going to lose her, he was not going to lose them both. They had been through so fucking much. They had been through so much together, and it wouldn't stop here. Not like this. Not for Charlie.. He couldn't...no..._

He kicked of his boots and moved behind her on the bed. Bass took her in his arms, as gently and slow as he could and placed himself behind Charlie, his legs on either side of her.

Charlie felt his body all around her, and landed her back and head against his chest, not being able to do much more than that at this point.

'Charlie _, listen to me, you are the strongest most stubborn woman I have ever met. You can do this. You can.'_  His voice was low and strong and soothing at the same when she felt the stubble of his beard against her cheek.

' _No...Bass...'_  she let out a deep moan when another sharp sting of pain went through her, and the pressure build up even more. She felt like she was cornered with pain and faitgue.

' _Faith, Charlie. I have faith in you. You can do this,'_ He grabbed both her hands in his.

Charlie heard his words, and was back at that moment he had saved her life and got her out of that bar, many years ago. She was back when he told her about the show of faith as an answer to her question why he had saved her.

And it was like all the moments since then compressed in time, until she realised she was about to bring a new life in their world. Life. Their baby was on the way and he was here, with her. The man she loved, the man she had learned to trust. Their baby on the way...so close. It woke something up inside of her. A strength she did not know she had until that moment.

Bass felt how she grabbed his hands in her. And when Jo told her to push one more time, he held her close to him, while he was holding his breath.

Charlie took one more deep breath, and gave everything she had. She screamed while she pushed one more last time and used Bass hands to push even more. And then, the pressure was gone. Things went to so very fast, when time seemed to slow down around them.

A little pink human appeared in Jo's hands. It took Charlie a second to realise it belonged to her, to him, to them.

Their child.

Little high cries filled the room.

The scream she had let out with that one final push that gave life shifted into pure tears of bliss and joy and happyness, she could not stop them.

When Bass felt how Charlie pushed one more time, her hands firmly in his, he watched how their child was born. His heartbeat had felt to stretch out like an eternity when he watched the little form in Jo's hands. And then he heard the high cries. He watched how Jo placed the baby on Charlie's chest and his vision got blurred by tears. He was sobbing into Charlie's hair while he could not take his eyes away from his child, and a warm smile was visible on his face, a smile with relieve and warmth.

He was there. There from the very beginning. He had watched his child come into their world and it was the most profound and clear moment of his life.

' _Congratulations mom and dad... it's a girl'_  Jo said with a warm smile, while she quickly checked on the baby, ' _she sure has got a healthy pair of lunges.'_

' _Hey baby girl,_ ' Charlie said, tears in her voice.  _A girl, a girl..._

Charlie held the baby in her arms, felt the weight of her girl on her breasts. Bass hands were entangled with hers while they both held their daughter for the very first time and he still held Charlie in his arms.

Charlie tilted her head back, and watched Bass. Even if she would try, what words could she find for this moment?

_'Bass...she is so...you...'_

_'I know baby...'_

They both locked eyes and in that one look, everything was said. She watched Bass' face, with a smile that lit up everything and tears that fell freely over his Jo made sure Charlie was all right, both Charlie and Bass sat in silence, their daughter close in their arms, protected by their hands wrapped around her.

_Little fingers, little toes, pinks skin, his nose, her lips, his curls or maybe hers too, her dimple._

* * *

Charlie was leaning back into some pillows, when she slowly started to realise that she was a mother. It was simply too much to take in, while she let her finger go over the rosy cheek of the girl in her arms.

Bass was sitting close to her, while he could not take his eyes away from Charlie and his daughter. They never discussed names, simply because their old wounds from the past had prevented them from looking that far ahead. But now this little bundle of big eyes and curls and soft cheeks was in Charlie's arms, warm in a blanket, naming their child was what seemed to be on both their minds.

Charlie looked up to him.

' _What about Faith?'_  she said, while she slowly cradled their baby in her arms. Bass looked at her and a smile appeared on his face.

He once had told Charlie that saving her life from that bar was his show of faith to her, as an answer to why he had gotten her out of there. He needed her to get to Miles, but there had been something there already, a deep force from within him to protect her. He remembered her when she was little, and she once had trusted and accepted him as family. Of course, she had not believed him, asked if he could make his eyes water at will, her eyes cold. The truth was, he  _had_  been speaking the truth. Those tears were real. From that moment, Charlie had broken things lose he was not able contain anymore. He could not blame her for questioning his words at that small fire. Not after everything he had done. It had hurt like hell, but he had stayed close to her from that moment, showing her his words had indeed been true.

It had been simply words for her, his show of faith, but he hoped it would be the beginning of earning back some of that lost trust she had once placed in him, before everything he had done to betray that trust in the years that followed the blackout.

And they were here now, many years later, many fights and impossible moments later, and they were parents.

' _Faith would be perfect, Charlie.'_ He said hoarsely, while he brushed her cheek with his thumb.

Charlie smiled at him and then turned her eyes towards the small baby that was sleeping against her chest. Bass had not held her, had not asked to hold her, like he was too afraid to break her.

_'Well then, Faith Monroe, I think it is time you meet your daddy.'_

' _Monroe?'_  Bass asked, his voice almost too low to hear.

' _Monroe,'_  Charlie smiled, and she gently moved Faith from her arms into his.

He looked unsure what to do for a moment and Charlie simply smiled at him again. He moved his large hands around his girl, and gently placed her in his arms, looking at her with all the time in the world.

Charlie felt her tears well up again.

He had lost a child, even before he could meet that girl. He had lost so much time with Connor. But here he was, holding his child, only minutes old. The tears fell from her face at that realisation.

Bass felt the warmth of Faith against him.  _'Hey little girl, you are beautiful,'_  and then he looked up at Charlie, his eyes filled with so much love for the both of them,  _'just like your mother.'_

Charlie watched Bass and Faith together, for the first time. Bass had moved her to his chest, while Faith slept, her little hands on Bass' chest. Bass placed her little head with soft curls under his chin, and felt the warmth and took in the scent of his child, his girl. Bass only thought now was, that he was here, from the second his child had been was alive, Charlie was alive.

' _Your mom and I are going to keep you so very safe little girl. You have my word, there is nothing I would not do to keep you safe._ ' He said softly to his daughter.

For the first time, she saw peace on Bass' face. It was a moment she would never forget. She would never forget this day, his gentle eyes, and Bass' large hand safely wrapped around their daughter.

* * *

Charlie felt warm under the plaid that Bass had placed around her. Jo had checked on her and little Faith again. Mother and daughter were doing just fine. Time did not seem to exist anymore, when Bass had found a place next to her and Faith again on the bed. Charlie tucked under the sheets, and Bass with an arm sitting next to had just finished feeding Faith for the very first time, when Bass had slowly moved his hand through their baby's soft curls. Jo walked in the room again.

' _There are some very impatient people waiting in your living room,'_  she said when she laughed at seeing all the nervousness from the guys and Priscilla in the other room.

' _Well,'_  Bass said with a grin,  _'maybe it is time to introduce our daughter.'_

' _Can we finally come in?'_  it was Aaron's voice from the other side of the room. Jo opened the door and both Miles and Aaron stood there with boyish grins on their faces. Priscilla was not far behind.

Charlie nudged Monroe with her elbow and handed over Faith into his arms again. ' _What are you waiting for?'_ She smiled at him.

Bass took Faith from her and walked over to Miles. Aaron and Priscilla stood on the other side of the bed, giving Miles some room.

' _Brother, we would like for you to meet Faith Monroe.'_  He said, pride in his words and eyes.

Miles needed a moment, Charlie could see it on his face. There were the beginning of tears in his eyes. She watched both Miles and Bass standing together while Bass slowly moved Faith from his arms towards Miles.

' _Wooh, what are you doing?'_ Miles protested, before he felt the tiny human in his arms and the protest stopped.

' _Hey kid,_ ' he said gently when Faith moved around in his arms for a moment,  _'I am your Uncle Miles. No matter what anybody tells you, I am your Uncle, not your grandfather._

Faith made a little sound. ' _Good kid,'_ Miles smiled, _'I think we will get along just fine.'_

Aaron and Priscilla congratulated both Bass and Charlie, and when Aaron took little Faith in his arms Miles walked over to Charlie, put her hand in his and pressed a kiss on her hand, and kneeled down beside her.  _'Ben and Danny would be so proud right now kid, you know that right?'_

Charlie swallowed something away. Her dad and her brother had been on her mind too. ' _I know.'_  She moved slowly towards Miles' arms and felt how he hugged her carefully when he pressed another kiss in her hair. Not much later another face appeared in the doorway when Faith was safely in her arms again.

' _I went over to his place to tell him the news,'_  Miles said, when he let a hand run through his hair  _, 'I hope that's all right?'_ He looked from Charlie to Bass.

' _Of course that is all right,_ ' Bass said, smiling at his son,  _'Come in Connor, so you can meet your little sister.'_

Connor looked with a little hesitation in his eyes before he walked in the room. Things between him and Miles were going slowly into a more relaxed understanding. When Miles had showed up at his door to tell him about Charlie and his dad's daughter, he had felt included. It had felt good. Charlie nodded at him to come over and placed her daughter into his hands.

' _This is Faith Monroe, Faith Monroe meet your big brother Connor Bennett. You better get to know each other, because Connor will do a lot of babysitting in the future.'_  Charlie said, griningg to Connor.

' _Congratulations to you Charlie, dad... '_ Connor nodded when he held his baby sister for the first time in his hands.

Charlie had told him a couple of months ago that nothing out there came even close to a family. He had stayed after he got back to Willoughby, badly injured. His dad had found him in Mexico, promising him that republic. That never happened, and had left him in a bitter and dark place. But after he came back, things had started to shift in another direction with his it had not been easy but slowly he found his place here. He got that job in Austin and the relationship between Bass and him had been growing. He could even be in one room with Miles again. And now he was standing in the same room with his dad and his baby sister, he knew how much truth there was in Charlie's words.

He looked at Faith and a wide grin appeared on his face. ' _Hey sweet girl...I'm your brother.'_ Bass had walked over to Connor and placed his arm around Connor and watched both his children.

' _I'm glad you are here, son,'_  Bass said to Connor. Connor met his father's eyes, when he watched his sister again. Charlie had been right, so very right.

* * *

It was late before everyone went home. Miles had just said goodbye to Charlie, promising her to tell Rachel about little Faith. Things between her and Rachel had still not been easy, but small changes were there. Charlie wanted to know her mother about her new baby girl.

Bass stood with Miles at their front door. It was dark outside and the living room silent. Miles placed his hand on Bass' shoulder.

' _Congratulations Bass, that is some great kid you have over there.'_

Bass nodded, his voice hoarse and low when he finally found a way to respond.

' _Thanks brother.'_

' _Anytime Bass.'_

Bass thought Miles was going to turn around and walk away when Miles surprised him, tears in his brothers eyes and pulled him in for a hug. Both man patted each others backs. No words were neccasary, after all, after decades of friendship, they both knew how much this moment meant. That, and Miles was not sure he was going to really cry like some girl if he would speak now.

They stood there for a moment when they let go of each other.

' _Now go to your family, you idiot,_ ' Miles grinned at Bass, while Bass grinned back at Miles.

And that is exactly what Bass did. This morning, he had woken up to a beautifully pregnant Charlie. And now, at the end of the day he walked into his bedroom again.

Faith was asleep in Charlie's arms, Charlie's eyes found his when he walked into the room and gently lay beside her. They kissed, slowly, a kiss filled with love. Then he reached over Charlie and pressed a kiss on Faith's head and he moved an arm around the both of them. He would fall asleep next to his family. He would fall asleep with Charlie's warm body next to him. He would fall asleep with his daughter sleeping close to the both of them, her tiny fingers wrapped around his.

Fullfilled.

After years of storming after it, after chasing it with desperation, deadly decissions,violence, losing himself in all the madness of it all, he had found it again. Today. After he had given up on it, after he had let go, after Charlie had found him when there was nothing left of him, it had found him.

He felt fulfilled.

In the dark, Faith made a soft sweet sound, while he watched her, a candle on his bedstand spreading soft light over Charlie and his daughter. In a couple of hours she would wake up again, and in the soft light in the middle of the night, he would watch Charlie feed his girl again.

Fulfilled. He felt fulfilled.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I wanted to thank you for reading this chapter, because Charlie and Bass came a long way, but here they are. Faith is born, a family is born, Bass' daughter and Charlie's daughter is born. Their little girl is here. And she is so very welcome.  
> There is one more chapter left, and I tell you this with a bit of sadness. This story was never meant to be such a large one, but it ended up to become so much more than I had planned. In next chapter, we will see how everybody is doing and then the whole story comes together. It will be a long chapter, with all the time for everybody.
> 
> I hope to see you all there! Thank you for still reading the story and all your kind reviews, they are always simply amazing. Thank you!
> 
> Until the next chapter...Love from Love


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I was about to update this chapter, I was listening to the radio and it played this song. It is called... Have a little faith in me... and it made me smile, because it is a perfect song for this chapter and story! Those little moments make me always smile...
> 
> I've been loving you for such a long time, girl  
> Expecting nothing in return  
> Just for you to have a little faith in me  
> You see time, time is our friend  
> Cuz for us there is no end  
> And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me
> 
> So, I was writing the epilogue and then I realised, there was one more chapter that had to be written, a part of the story that had to be told that needed its own chapter. So, today, I have chapter 44 for you and then...there will be an epilogue after this chapter. So, there will be one more chapter after this one.
> 
> Thanks for your incredibly sweet reviews for last chapter, I loved writing about the moment Faith was born! Now, we make a little jump in time...

_Three years later_

Bass took a sip from his whiskey. The house was quiet when he sat down behind his desk in the small library. Like every night, there was always one damn report to read before he would allow himself to get some sleep. Upstairs, his girl was asleep. Faith celebrated her third birthday a couple of months ago and when she had blown out three small candles on a sweet cake, he had kneeled down behind her, helping her and whispering in her ear she could make a wish. Her little brother Aaron had been sitting on Charlie's hip and had been clapping his little hands.

Aaron had been born almost a year ago, and he was born too early. It had been Aaron who had gotten Charlie home, safe and well, when she had gotten into labor hours away from home, when she had gone to a nearby town to visit a friend of their family. Because of that, both Bass and Charlie had decided to name their son, after Aaron Pittman, a person that was now both their family. Aaron had mumbled something like ' _you really did not have to do that'_  with tears in his eyes when they had told him. Bass had patted him on his shoulder and told him they really wanted to.

He grinned at the memory of the birth of his second child, the boy who came in the world healthy and screaming within only a couple of hours. A son. They little man had been healthy and strong.

Miles had walked in the bedroom together with Faith after the birth and Bass had put his boy in his own arms, and showed Faith her baby brother for the first time.

Faith had held up her little arms, as a demand to hold him. He had watched her, holding their son in her tiny arms, while she was sitting on a big chair close to Charlie, her little feet dangling in the air, while Aaron was sleeping.

The next day he had found Faith, sitting close to Charlie and little Aaron in Charlie's arms on their bed, the book that had belonged to Charlie's grandmother with her. She was not able to read, but she remembered the stories in the book very well, and she showed Aaron the paintings in the book with all the patience in the world. Charlie and he had locked eyes and had just watched their children so close to them.

He took another sip of his whiskey, when the reports before him were forgotten. He thought about his children, he thought about how much his life had changed.

After the war against the nano, a war that had been hard but with victory on their side, he had come home again. He had something to come home to. To fight for. They had contained the Nano, and had helped restore peace in Texas.

That day, early spring, when he had seen her in the distance for the first time, with Faith in her arms, was still engraved in his mind. It had taken a moment for Faith to realise it was him, but then she had started running and he had caught her safely in his arms. He had known them, he would never leave them behind, although he had known he had to fight and Charlie knew her place was home, protecting Faith, protecting and fighting for her family.

Charlie.  _Charlie._ His eyes went to his wedding ring and when the rain outside started to fall, rain that had been in the air the whole summer day, his mind went to another rainy night, a night weeks before their wedding.

_Charlie had known something was up. Bass was silent, there had been distance in his eyes, while he spent many hours in their living room when the house was quiet and she had gone to bed. Their wedding was now only weeks away, that day now getting closer and closer, and she had seen how his eyes had gotten just a shade darker than they normally were._

_One late night, the fire burning in the fire place of their living room, when the rain outside was tapping against the windows, Charlie stood next to him, while he sat on the couch. She had not gone to bed but had walked into their living room to find him there._

_He had been staring into the fire, when she placed her hand on his shoulder. Bass felt her touch and moved his hand to take her hand in his. He wrapped his fingers slowly around her wrist, touching the branded M, that was burned into her skin._

' _You never told me where you got this,' he did not look at her, his voice raspy._

' _You never asked.'_

' _I couldn't Charlie,' he sounded defeated, 'But I need to know..'_

_He swallowed a lump out of his throat._

' _My mark.'_

_He had seen his mark on her, on Charlie, for the first time, she was on the dirty floor of that bar where he saved her life, and he had felt sick to his stomach for hours afterwards, when he sat down next to her unconscious form, making sure she was all right, making sure she was still breathing._

_He had never the balls to ask her about that mark, and all kinds of sickening images had come to his mind since then. HIS men holding her down, Charlie screaming, when his Militia was damaging her and her skin beyond repair. He felt sick to his stomach again._

_The room was silent, the rain outside making soft sounds against the windows was the only thing that broke that silence. Charlie needed to take a breath, revisiting the past, a past that was always there. She knew that loving Bass, did not mean they would not have to make it through moments like this._

_But the thing that was different, was the fact that she and Bass, after all those years, could finally talk about it. That they were not afraid to ask each other those almost impossible questions. They had to get there on their own time, and it had taken them years to get to this night, a rainy night just like that night she had woken up from almost being dead._

_Charlie walked to the window on her left, and watched the raindrops fall over the glass._

' _When we were on our way to Philly, we met this group of kids. They told us one of their brother's had been taken by the Militia. I just couldn't walk away. When we tried to get those kids away from the Militia, I ended up with this.' She touched the mark with her fingers, remembering the smell of her own burned flesh._

' _Where did this happen?'_

_Charlie looked at the mark when she answered his question, telling him about that day, touching details that were like knives to his gut when she told him everything._

_She had know he had to notice that mark on her wrist at some point, after weeks of spending so much time together. He had never asked her, but she had seen his eyes on that spot of her wrist. He had always looked away when she met his eyes._

_She watched the same tears appear on his face that she had seen after she had woken up from that drug coma. She watched the same despair and pain of his face._

' _Charlie, I am so sorry. God. So sorry.' His shoulders were hanging low, his jaws locked._

_He looked at her like he was an animal that had just been beaten up, before he could not take it any longer and he looked away again._

_Charlie moved from her spot from the window closer to him._

' _I know you are. '_

' _Why?' he asked, his voice as low and deep as the amount of hurt on his face, 'Why me? After everything. Why me?' God, he swore, he loved her with everything he had. But that was the one damn question on his mind, maybe even from the day that she had decided this life had been worth saving. He needed to know why she could love him, why she was going to marry him. After all the fucking things he had done._

' _Because that M on my wrist is not only the M for Monroe,' silence between them, 'Because it was also Miles' republic, it were also Miles decisions that led you both where you both ended up.'_

_It had been a hard truth to learn from all the pieces of the puzzle that had started to fall together in the last years. She realised at some point, that just because Miles found what he wanted to fight for again before Bass, did not mean he and Bass were different. It had been a hard truth to learn about that, it had been a hard truth to find out her mother's role and her father's role in ending the world, having their part in causing the blackout. It had been hard, but it had been the truth._

' _I made so much fucking mistakes, Charlie,' pain in his voice. Defeat again in his voice._

' _Yes you did.' Charlie started, after she took some time to form her answer, 'but you are not the only one. Aaron used to tell us in history class that the world around us, is the way it is because time has moved that world into the world we see know. Spending time with you on our way back to Willoughby from Vegas, forced me to look at that. You have made mistakes, but so did Miles. So did my mom. So did my dad. And I...I did things I never thought I would do either.'_

_Bass did not move, his lips pressed together in a thin line._

' _But you were still there for me, there on my most miserable days. You were there after Austin, after I put a bullet in a man that once mattered so much to me. And even when everybody told me, it was not my fault I know, there is a piece of me that always will feel differently. I stood there too, when we made the decision to take him with us to Austin. I could have said no, but I didn't. I know there is blood on my hands too, I have killed too.' Her voice drifted off, pain in her voice now too._

' _But you were there, and I told you before, I want you with me, beside me. I want you.'_

' _I just don't know how you can forgive me, ' Bass said softly._

' _Bass, I already have.' Charlie said, while she moved closer to him. Bass tilted his head forward, not being able to meet her eyes. His elbows on his knees. She moved towards him, kneeling down in front of his knees._

' _Bass, I have forgiven you.' Her voice was determined, when she could see how his fingers were trembling, and his shoulders were starting to shake too._

' _How?'_

_She took his face in his hands and he finally had the courage to look at her._

' _Because you and I, we are the same,' she brushed the scruff of his beard with his fingers._

'  _Because I see you, the whole you. You had your share in the things I lost, but so did Miles, so did my mom, my dad too. All their actions led to those moments too.'_

_She had to take a breath again. The next part brought back another painful moment from the past._

' _You were right, that day you told me that I might be running away from my mom, but that I was a hell of a lot like her. You were right. I was becoming exactly who I did not want to be. I don't want to lose myself in the past. I don't want to fill myself with coldness and hate and grudge. I want to live.'_

_She felt salty tears in her eyes. 'And that's why, I made the decision to forgive you. I forgave you, Bass. I forgive you.'_

' _God, Charlie...' he let his head drop towards her chest and felt her warm hands around his face and then in his hair. He cried. And when his tears stopped he pulled her on the couch close to him. He cupped her face, and his blue eyes met hers before he kissed her on her forehead with a firm kiss._

_Charlie had not only given him her the answer to a question that had been on his mind for so long now, but she had also given him some peace of mind. Miles had once told him Charlie had pulled him back from that place where he had been long death, going through one miserable day after the other. He understood now._

' _Don't you ever leave me, Charlie.'_

' _Don't you ever leave me, Bass.' She replied, softness in her eyes when their eyes locked._

_They did not sleep in their bed that night. They slept in each other's arms in front of a the fire, when the rain fell outside._

Charlie walked into the library that was situated on the side of the house that had windows that faced the garden outside. A garden filled with high trees, where the summer wind made the leaves twirl in the breeze, with soft green grass and a big wooden bench under one of the trees in the left corner.

They had gotten married in that same garden under that one tree after the war against the Nano. The wind softly blowing through the branches and leaves above them, the afternoon sun on both their faces. The ceremony had been simple, with Charlie in a white long dress, the necklace Bass gave her around her neck and complimenting the smooth lines of her bare shoulders and the line of the dress around her body.

Bass eyes were glued on her and Faith sat on Connor's shoulders, her tiny arms wrapped him, so she did not have to miss anything. She had talked for weeks and weeks about her mummy and daddy getting married and she had insisted on wearing the dress she got to wear for that special afternoon as her pyjamas that night. And being half Matheson, that meant that nobody could talk her out of that idea. So, Faith Monroe slept in her princess dress that night.

Miles had given her away, her mother had been there, kissing her on her cheek in a rare gentle moment. Bass had chosen both Connor and Miles to be his best men, and Charlie had asked Aaron to do the same for her. The people that mattered to them, had been around them for their 'I do's.'

After the ceremony in their garden, everybody had stayed for a long dinner in the garden, with candles in glass jars on the long table, and enough food and drinks for each and everybody of them.

Bass had arranged for Faith to stay with Aaron and Priscilla for the night, something Faith did not mind because she and Zoe got along very well and a sleep over was always met with giggles and smiles from the girls. Bass had carried Charlie up the steps of the porch steps and had taken her to their bed, Charlie rolling her eye at him but then she had given in and actually enjoyed the sweet gesture. For once, she let Bass take the lead. They had made love for hours, she had slept with her head on his chest and his nose in her hair, and had still been entangled in one another when the summer sun had risen again when Bass moved inside of her again, low moans and salty sweat on their sun kissed skin.

Tomorrow, they were expecting everyone again, but this time for a birthday dinner. Bass' birthday dinner. Even though Bass told her every year he did not want her to bother to put something together for him, she never listened to him.

First of all, because she was Charlie Matheson, and when she had made up her mind, she had made up her mind. Second of all, she knew the truth. Bass enjoyed those dinners, that turned into late nights of food and whiskey in the garden and him and Miles, usually in Aaron's and Connor's company, completely wasted, doing their guy thing. She knew that it was still that part him that liked to hide, to stay invisible and not ask for anything, when he told her he did not need a birthday bash.

SO, tomorrow, everybody was going to be there, and Bass would do his best of convincing Charlie she really did not have to do that. Of course, she would not take his bullshit. But that is tomorrow, Charlie decided. Now, she wanted some time alone with her guy. Because she carried something with her behind her back when she walked into his study. Something she had hidden from him for weeks now, in a small cabinet in the kitchen.

' _Happy birthday, Bass,'_  Charlie said, a smile playing around her lips. She leaned in to kiss him, when she revealed at the same time what she was hiding behind her back. She gave the wrapped present to Bass. One look at the wooden clock on the wall had told her it was far after midnight, and she decided she and the present had waited enough.

He looked at her with a grin on his face, taking the wrapped present from her hands, putting his whiskey on the side of the table.

' _What's this?'_

' _You tell me._ ' she shot back at him, it were his own words that he had spoken to her the day she had found the box with her engagement ring in it in their closet, the ring that is now her wedding ring.

When he unwrapped the present he saw the first part of something he knew so very well. His heartbeat quickened. When his thumb got rid of the last paper, he looked into his own eyes. He looked into his brother's eyes.

The picture that he had carried with him for decades, was now in a simple wooden frame. The picture had made it through the years and although it had been faded and the edges had been worn, he did not give a damn. He remembered that moment so very well. He stood next to Miles, a beer in both of his hands, in a bar in a world that was not there anymore. They had been young, and full op hopes of indeed making the world better. It had been time at the Marines, before their second tour.

She saw how he tried to hide it, tension in his jaws, swallowing with difficulty. But she saw the emotions running through him.

It was the picture she had found in his apartment when she had spent the night at his place, the first weeks she had started to be with him. When they moved from their first apartment to this house, she had found the picture again and had decided it needed more than being hidden away in a closet. She knew the photograph was something deeply personal to Bass, and she hoped he liked the surprise. A couple of days she had gotten it out of the book where Bass had kept the picture, hoping he would not notice it.

' _You..you like it?'_  Charlie asked carefully.

' _God, yes, baby. Thank you._ ' He grinned at her. He loved the whole thing. The picture brought back good memories, the frame was well chosen. It worked.

He pulled her into his lap. Kissed her long and deep.

' _When was this picture taken?'_

Bass grinned again, while he started to tell her the story about that evening.

' _Well, we both had the night of. Your uncle and I were on our way to being wasted and..._

' _Obviously,'_  Charlie grinned at him.

' _You want to hear the story or not?'_  He growled at her with a smirk on his face, while he moved his hand a little bit more towards her ass, giving her a warning with a small squeeze.

As a peace offering she kissed him quickly on the lips, while Bass moved her closer against his chest, a soft kiss in her neck, just under her hair.

That one memory turned into more memories that were almost forgotten. Memories from before the blackout changed the world for good. Charlie watched his face, his eyes a burning blue, the lines around his eyes smiling together with the rest of his face. So she was quiet, she listened.

It was late, and it was just him and her, and a picture of two brothers that had joined the Marines and had a couple of beers on their night off.  _Bass and Miles._

It was late, morning only hours away. Charlie sat on his lap, Bass' large hand on her knees and her arm around his neck while she listened to the stories he had to tell, while she took a sip from his whiskey, his glass in her hand. The picture in the wooden frame laying in front of them on the table, when the past and the present came together.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I wrote that one chapter, now months ago, and Charlie found that picture on Bass' table after she had spent the night at his place and he already left, I knew it would come back here, at the end of this story. I love Bass and Miles together, their brotherhood, something that has managed to stay through time. Something that no blackout had been able to change. I wanted to bring that picture back today because Charlie is such a strong link between both men. And the conversation about forgiveness and her mark? That was a moment that still needed to happen, but it was a difficult moment, a hard question Bass had to ask her...but he found the courage, and so here we are...
> 
> So, this was chapter 44 and there is one more chapter left... the epilogue! 
> 
> This was the part of that song that touched me, when I started to publish this chapter, and it's so perfect for this story, for Charlie and Bass...I wanted to share it with you!
> 
> I've been loving you for such a long time, girl  
> Expecting nothing in return  
> Just for you to have a little faith in me  
> You see time, time is our friend  
> Cuz for us there is no end  
> And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me
> 
> I will hold you up, I will hold you up  
> Your love gives me strength enough
> 
> Have a little faith in me
> 
> I hope you will join me there for the last part of the story, so, until that chapter! Love from Love


	45. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before this chapter begins, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for reading, reviewing and sending me such sweet notes during this story. It has been simply amazing! This story started with words of Betrayal for Charlie, on that grey day when Charlie was looking for Miles and walked into an argument between her mother and Monroe. The story started in the middle of them fighting against the patriots, but became a story of human relationships and finding your place in life again after hurt, loss, grieve and a long lonely road.
> 
> It is with a smile on my face and with sadness at the same time, that I , with you, will say goodbye to this story today. I'm going to miss it. So very much.
> 
> Let's go back to Charlie and Bass now, to little Faith, to Miles,Rachel, Connor, Aaron, Priscilla and Zoe one more time!

 

It was almost four, and it was a warm afternoon. Outside, the large long table in the shadow of the large tree in their garden was waiting for their guests.

' _Mommy, help you?'_  Faith was carrying a small bouquet of flowers when she walked into the kitchen. Bass had taken her for a walk, her tiny legs next to his and her little hand in his hand when they had walked down a small path through fields of summer flowers.

Faith had been a little whirlwind in the kitchen, wanting to help Charlie but instead, creating even more chaos for her mother. Bass had intervened and had taken her outside, a place where Faith seemed to belong, just like her mother. She would look at every butterfly, leave and rock with curiosity and she loved nothing more than being outside with her father. When she would get tired, she would let Bass carry her on his arm, while she pointed her finger at another bird or cloud.

Charlie smiled at her daughter.  _' What is that, Faith?'_

' _For you, from daddy and me._ ' Faith answered with a proud smile, while her little fingers grabbed the flowers even more tightly.

' _Is that so?'_  Charlie smiled, while Bass picked Fait up in his arms, so Faith could give the flowers to Charlie. Bass kissed her, which earned them a giggle from Faith, ' _I think they are real pretty, sweetheart, thank you.'_

Bass moved his head towards Charlie's ear,  _'So, I don't get a thank you?'_

' _Later babe, later,'_  Charlie grinned at him, an all too familiar challenging smile in her eyes that made Bass look forward to what would happen later. For now, Charlie pressed a quick kiss on his lips. Faith started to move in Bass arms, insisting on getting her tiny feet on the floor again.

' _Now, I help mommy.'_  She sounded determined, and both Bass and Charlie could not hide their grins.

' _The only thing she has to do now, is put her hand on her hip and she is just like you,'_  Bass teased Charlie, which earned him a well placed poke somewhere around his stomach and below his ribs.

Faith was on her way to the kitchen table to help Charlie with the cake for Bass. Helping meant eating a lot of the sweet fruit before it could find a place on top of the cake but luckily for the guests little Faith's attention was now drawn to the kitchen door when it was opened.

' _Connor!'_  she yelled, a smile on her little face. Both Connor and she were close, and Faith told everyone in town that he was her big brother with a proud face. Connor would smile at her, maybe even with a more proud grin.

' _Hey chica,_ ' Connor grinned at her, when he saw his little sister.

Faith pushed herself of the chair again, and was on her way to her brother, when another woman walked into the kitchen. Faith stopped, shyness on her face all of a sudden. Connor saw her expression and walked over to Faith, kneeling down beside her.

' _Faith, I want you to meet Tori,'_  he nodded at the woman behind him, who smiled, a little unsure when she walked into the kitchen,  _'she is my friend and I brought her with me to celebrate dad's birthday with us. Is that okay?'_

Faith needed some time to think about that, when Tori closed the distance between her and the little girl and introduced herself. Faith looked at her with her blue explorative eyes.

' _You still read me my story before sleeping?'_ Faith wanted to know.

Connor laughed at Faith, along with everybody else in the room, and then his face got serious.  _'Of course, Faith, you know you are still my favourite girl in the whole world.'_  He winked at her, and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek.

' _Okay,'_  Faith nodded yes, before she turned her attention back on the cake on the table, and the first summer fruit started to disappear into her mouth not soon after.

Bass looked at his kid, and the woman he brought with him. It had been the first time Connor brought somebody with him. He could see, by only a couple of looks between them, they cared deeply for each other.

_Go find yourself a girl. Not Charlie. Fall in love. Have kids._   _Don't be alone._

He heard his own words in his head, words he once had spoken to Connor in Vegas, when he had believed he would not live to see another day.

Bass stretched out his hand towards Tori,  _'Hey Tori, welcome. Nice to meet you. You just met my girl, and this is Charlie. Our youngest is still asleep I am afraid.'_

' _Nice to meet you all,'_  Tori said, with a warm smile, when she shook hands with him and Charlie.

' _You want a drink before we eat?'_  Charlie nodded at Tori.

Tori blushed for a moment, and Charlie understood it even before Bass' mind got there. Connor placed his hand on Tori's back and smiled, almost shyly, now too. Charlie raised an eyebrow at Bass, a smirk on her face.

' _Well, I don't think that would be wise, considering...'_  Tori smiled, along with Charlie. Both woman were very much different, but instantly liked one another. Bass looked at Tori, before his eyes fell on Connor.

' _We are expecting our little one in the winter dad,'_ Connor said, his voice hoarse now.

' _Connor, that's...that's amazing.'_ Bass said, stunned. He would not only be a dad, but also a grand dad. Miles would have a field day later when he found out. But that was for later, because he walked over to Tori and Connor and congratulated them both. Charlie followed soon after.

Bass pulled Connor into a hug. He put some distance between Connor and himself again, and he looked his kid in the eyes. So much of himself, so much of Emma there.

_Fall in love. Have kids._   _Don't be alone._

Tears welled up in his eyes. Connor would not be alone, he would not repeat his mistakes.

' _I am so proud of you Connor, so proud._ ' He squeezed his son's shoulder for a moment, and Connor nodded, tears in his eyes as well.

* * *

Not much after that welcome news, the other guest started to arrive. Aaron, Priscilla and Zoe walked into the garden, congratulating Bass with a bottle of fine whiskey and two new whiskey glasses.

And then, Miles walked in, her mother close to him. Charlie noticed the softness on her mother's face, and the relaxed shoulders of Miles. She walked over to greet them. Miles congratulated Bass with a slap on his shoulder and a bottle of booze, which he would probably drink himself for the better part .He then got ambushed by Faith too, and Miles caught her and moved her high in the air, Faith giggling in his arms, while she spread her arms and Miles made her fly like one of the butterflies from the forest she loved so much.

Rachel stretched out her hand to Bass, who shook hers for a quick moment.  _'Nice for you to join Miles, Rachel.'_

' _Congratulations, Bass,'_  Rachel nodded.

The tension was out of the air between them, and thing between her and Charlie had improved. At this point Charlie looked forward to see her mother, and both Bass and her mother would never be the friends they once were, but she understood. Bass understood. He made an effort for Charlie, and if it was important to her to have her mother in her life, he would support her through it all. It was all right that way.

The candles spread a soft light on the table, joined with the last evening rays of red and golden sunlight.

Miles frowned with amusement at a serious Faith who was dragging a large book with her. Faith handed him the book that once belonged to Charlie's grandmother. Rachel looked at the little girl and the book she was carrying. She smiled at the little girl and the fact Charlie had kept the book she once brought her, when she had realised she couldn't lose her daughter and she had taken a first step towards a life with Charlie, when Charlie had been pregnant with Faith. Faith found a place on Miles' lap and she instructed him to start reading, her little thumb in her mouth.

Charlie looked at her daughter, sitting in the middle of the people that were her family.

She watched how Aaron pressed a kiss on Priscilla's cheek, pouring her another drink, while Zoe was playing with little Aaron on a blanket on the grass close to the table.

She watched how Miles read Faith her favourite fairytale, the one where the prince saves the princess .When Miles met Charlie's eyes, he winked at her, his dark brown eyes gentle. Charlie met her uncle's eyes with love, love for the man that once was her favourite Uncle when she was little. He still is that man, but became so much more.

He is the man she trusts with her life, that is her home, that has been with her through so much and will be forever her badass uncle, like she will always be his 'kid.'

She watched how her mother held her chin in her hands, her elbows on the table, her eyes on her granddaughter with her face relaxed, a genuine smile around her lips.

She watched how Connor sat with a drink in his hands, talking to Aaron and Priscilla, his arm around Tori's chair. When his eyes met Charlie's eyes, he nods for a moment and Charlie nodded back, with a smile.

She felt Bass arms around her, his scent of leather and whiskey close to her, her back against his broad chest, a chest she knows now by heart, just like the rest of him.

She turned her head to meet his eyes, while she placed her hands on his arms, pulling them closer around her waist.

' _Are you enjoying your birthday?'_

' _Every minute of it, Charlie. Thank you.'_

Not much later, Miles calls for them.

' _Hey Bass, are you going to stand there like some lovesick puppy, or are you going to join your own party?'_

' _Asshole,'_ Bass mutters to himself, when Charlie bit her lip and smiled.

Not much later, they joined their family at the table, their group of people that are their home, wherever they are, wherever life takes them.

Faith had fallen asleep on Miles' chest and Miles had wrapped an arm around her, to keep her safe and warm, just like he had done so many times for Charlie on the road.

There is only one chair left, so Bass pulled her on his lap and then Aaron handed him a full glass, before he did the same for Charlie. Bass looked around the table, meeting everybody's faces.

Aaron did not sit down and raised his glass, clearing his throat.  _'I have to admit, I thought you were a giant asshole when we first met.'_  Everybody grinned at Aaron, and Bass tilted his head down, his eyes on the table before him for a moment, before Aaron continued, ' _but fair is fair, you turned out to be kind of all right._   _So, here's to you.'_ He raised his glass, meeting Bass' eyes, both man nodding at one another.

' _Well, Pittman, if somebody told me I would share parenting tips with you,'_  Bass paused, looking at Charlie for a moment,  _'I would say there were delusional.'_ He grinned at Aaron.

' _Here's to you, prick, happy birthday!'_ Miles smiled at Bass, toasting to his birthday too.

' _Here's to you, Babe,'_  Charlie whispered in his ear, a soft kiss on his scruff, s a fast wink before everybody raised their glasses once more, while Bass joined them.

' _Here's to us, baby_.' Bass answered her softly, when he put the glass to his lips and felt the whiskey burn happily in his throat.

Many stories and many drinks later, Miles frowned. Connor had just told him about Tori and the new baby on the way. Miles had muttered something about more kids, and more trouble before he had started to frown. Then that frown turned into one hell of an amused smile. The table went quiet, when all eyes were on him.

' _So, who is going to try and explain to Faith that she is going to be an aunt?'_

Everybody went quiet for a moment, before laughter filled the garden.

Both Miles and Bass walked into the kitchen later, to get more booze. It was dark now, and little lights were visible from the garden, that were placed on the table under the tree and hanging on the branches of the tree, in small glass jars. While Bass was grabbing another bottle, he found Miles in the living room, before the picture that was Charlie's present for his birthday.

' _Can't believe you still have it,_ ' Miles said, a drink in his hands,  _'That was a good night.'_

' _It was brother, it was.'_

They looked each other in the eyes. They were not those young boys anymore, those boys who grew up in Jasper. But they both remembered them, now they were standing here in this silent living room. Everything had changed and at the same time, nothing had changed. Bass saw rare tears in Miles' eyes.

The last real birthday they had spent together, was when they were still ruling a country. They had been sharing a birthday bottle of booze in a local bar, sitting at a table, catching up, before that place got bombed. Not soon after, Bass had shot the whole family of the guy who had had been responsible for the bombing. It had been the beginning of the ending for them both.

But here they were again, another birthday, another place. But still brothers. It would always be that way.

' _Here's to many more good nights, Bass.'_

Bass nodded, raised his glass and smiled at Miles.

' _Here's to that, brother.'_

* * *

Later, when everybody went home, Bass sat down on the edge of their bed. His fingers were busy with opening his boots. He just went into Faith's room to kiss her goodnight, whispering in her ear how much he loved her. She never woke up, and he always took a moment to listen to her, peacefully asleep, her breathing even, dark blonde curls around her face.

His life had been many things.

He had been happy at home with his family in Jasper. He had been miserable, broken with grieve when he had lost them. He had been through things he and Miles never ever talked about in those first years after the blackout. The images and memories just too damn horrible.

He had known love again and had felt more impossible grieve when he had to bury his wife and daughter under a line of trees from a camp of tents many years ago.

He had distanced himself from anything he had ever been on that night after he had to bury them.

He had left everything behind to fill his life with whiskey, control and power. He had not even recognised himself in the mirror anymore. After some more years he had stopped giving a fuck about not even recognising himself in the mirror anymore.

And then there had been Charlie, a flash of bravery, loyalty, stubbornness and beauty when he met her in Philly. He had spent years on the road with her. His life had changed again.

And when he held his daughter Faith for the first time in his arms, that day in spring when Charlie gave birth to her, he had felt it. Something he never thought he would feel. Something he had left behind in Jasper, on the last day he had seen his parents and sisters alive before he headed back to base with Miles. He had pressed a fast kiss on his mother's cheek, had shaken hands with his father and had hugged his sisters goodbye. After decades, after time that had took him away from everything he once was, he had felt it again.  _Fulfilled._

He had given up any hope of ever feeling something even close to it, he had tried to get there again and had tried to fill that one giant hole in his very soul and life with building a damn republic of control, power and madness.

But know, his life was enough. He had children. Connor, who came in his life after many years he had not even known he was alive. He was here now, and not only that. His son was happy, had found somebody and would be a father soon too. It made his chest swell with pride and love for Connor. Faith, who was as stubborn as Charlie, who was full of life and kindess. Aaron, who was already observing the world around him, with big blue sensitive eyes, with his little strong arms and a charming smile. He defitnately got that from him, everytime his son stole a smile from the many woman in his life around him. Bass would place his hand on his son's head, going through his soft curls with pride.

Family. Love. A home.  _A place to come back to, a place to stand still._ And he had Charlie, the stubborn woman that had marched into his life many years ago and never left him since then.

He had everything.

He pulled the shirt over his head, throwing it over the chair in the corner of their room.

Charlie had quickly grabbed what she was looking for in their closet, when Bass had been kissing Faith goodnight. It gave her to time to let the familiar fabric of something she wore once, glide over her body.

She was somebody who had known the world before the blackout, but the memories had faded, and she had adjusted herself to this new rough world. Her life had been many things, she had know many losses. People died. People left. She had done many things, she had been many things. But somehow the road had brought her here. Here with Bass, alongside Bass. His wife, a mother to his children, her children, their children.

But most of all, she was Charlie. Charlie Matheson.

And the things she loved most about Bass, was the fact that he always let her be that woman. He never treated her like a child when she had felt like so many people did. He had been there for her. Let her be the woman she was, the good, the dark parts. And he had loved all of her, and he still did. Now, she blew out the candle in the living room, and made her way upstairs. Upstairs to him.

He heard her come in their bedroom and his eyes fell on her legs first. Then he moved up his eyes over the curves of her body. And then he grinned at Charlie.

He met her smiling eyes, deep blue in the evening light, with little stars reflected in them from the candle light in the room. She was wearing the dress she had been wearing, the night she came back to town, after having spent months with her grandfather on the road.

It had been the night he had seen her, when she walked into the bar to celebrate Miles' birthday. It had been the night he had kissed her, it had been the night he had known what it was like to feel her body around his, her warm skin, her smooth curves and his heat around him when he lost himself in her.

She was wearing the necklace he gave her, the silver one with that small perfect stone that was now resting between the spot just above her breasts. He gave her that necklace the night he had taken her on her first real date, at Blanchard's party. It had been he danced with her in his arms, it had been the night she had told him she was pregnant with Faith.

She was also wearing the necklace with the small purple stone she had around her neck, that first night they were together, the one she had left in his bed as a sweet reminder of their night together. Both the little stones looked amazing in the light in the room.  _Damn i_ t, she looked beautiful. She looked like the woman he once met and watched with desire and hunger, she looked like the woman she became since then.

Charlie.

_His Charlie._

He met her smiling eyes, and it was the passionate red lush of her lips that woke up the passion that he still felt for her. Charlie moved over to the bed, standing still between his legs. His hands moved over her legs, over the fabric of her short black dress to her back and shoulder blades.

' _You look hot as hell, Charlotte,'_  He said hoarsely, hunger and want in his touch and words.

' _Bass...'_  she whispered, when his lips brushed against hers. He knew what she needed. He moved the fabric of her dress over her thighs, and she straddled him. She moaned when she felt how hard he was, hard, waiting for her.

' _Need you...so much,'_  she moaned in his ear, while she started to move her centre over his jeans.

Bass kissed her, silencing her, their tongues battling a passionate fight. He let out a deep groan when Charlie bit his bottom lip.

He moved them both to the bed and placed Charlie on her stomach, and hovered over Charlie. He placed himself on one elbow behind her, and opened his pants. Charlie reached back to grab his hardness and started to make slow movements that made lust shoot through his whole body. He needed to have her. Now. While he pressed her into the mattress of their bed, his hand went under her dress. He cursed something when he realised she was not wearing any panties.

Charlie smiled into her pillow when he let out a deep grunt and cursed something under his breath when his fingers touched her smooth skin. He found her perfect spot, and found her wet and ready. He circled around her clit when he moved one of her legs a little higher.

Charlie moved her head his way, and when her lips met his, he filled her from behind. She was pressed between Bass and the sheets under her, while he started to move in and out of her in a passionate and hard way. One of his muscled arms was around her and under her, his fingers teasing her.

When she came, her skin was wet with sweat and she was panting into her pillow. At the moment Bass felt how Charlie grabbed his cock, he let out one deep grunt and he whispered her name roughly in her ear. He moved his arms around her, and pushed inside of her one more time before he filled her, their breathing fast, their hands entangled in a passionate grip. Charlie's surrender to him was as beautiful as ever. The trust she placed in him, the way she gave herself to him when he was inside of her, and her warmth and scent was all around her, all around him.

* * *

It was an evening in autumn, and the light was softly changing. The weather was still warm and they had a long and sunny day. Faith put her baby brother's Aaron's hand in hers, and together they walked towards the grass, looking for butterflies together.

Bass was sitting on the steps of the porch, his whiskey in one hand, his other arm resting on his knee. His boots firmly placed on the ground before him. When he had poured himself that whiskey, his eyes had fallen again on the framed picture that Charlie had given him for his birthday, that had found a place on the fireplace.

It is not just  _his own_  reminder, but also Charlie's reminder that life can take you to impossible places and moments. Far from the people you started your life with, far from the people you did not want to leave behind in time. Far from the dreams and hopes you once had. Far from a world that would never be the same, now the black out from almost twenty years ago, changed the world for good.

The world grew darker, more chaotic, with new daily struggles for survival, with goodbyes, with roughness and new rules.

But the picture told the story about two simple boys, born before that said blackout. They became friend. Miles. Bass. They both knew now what humanity was capable off in every way.

But they were still friends. Against all odds, and after decades , they were still friends. They were more than that. They were brothers. Family. Miles had once said, when he was enjoying a late night dinner at Charlie's and Bass, that if it was not even for her, he and Bass might have never met again. After all, she walked all the way to Chicago to get him out of his dark hiding place. She brought Bass back to Willoughby, to him. He had placed his hand over Charlie's hand on the table in silence after he spoke.

' _You did good, kid.'_ He had watched his niece, and had felt pride and was beautiful, loyal, strong. She never took the easy way out, she was stubborn and a great mom and friend and wife to his best friend. He loved her, like she was his own, he protected her like she was his own. He did that for Ben, for Danny. For her, but also for himself. She had given him something he would never be able to put into words. Charlie grabbed his hand with hers, and they had shared that moment in silence again, uncle and niece.

Through the open window, the picture of Bass and Miles was visible, the last light of the day falling on their smiling faces in the wooden frame. Charlie sat down next to Bass, when their children were playing on the soft grass before them. She let out a sigh, a smile on her face.

For the first time, Charlie really understood the meaning of family when she watched her children play in the garden, Bass sitting close to her. Family was not something that stayed the same throughout your life. People left, people died. It was a harsh truth. Bitter and painful.

She watched her daughter and her son, his little hand with trust in hers, and she remembered Danny. She remembered herself, and a happy wave of tears spread through her, while her blue eyes took in every moment of her children in the last autumn sun of the day.

_Family was there to make sure the story continued. Little pieces of herself were now in her children, little pieces of Bass were there too. They would grow up, and keep the story going._

Family.

She felt Bass hand on her knee, and closed her eyes for a second. She did not have to explain, not to him. He understood. He was there. Then she opened them again, and she smiled at Bass, who caught her eyes with his.

' _Thank you,'_  she said softly.

_'For what?'_  he asked her, a smile in his eyes.

_'I am just happy you are here, Bass.'_

_'There is no other place I'd rather be, Charlie.'_

He put his fingers gently around her chin and tilted her head towards him. He kissed her softly, his lips on hers, her sweet taste against his mouth. Charlie opened her mouth for him, and let her tongue meet with his. The kiss was deep and filled with everything they felt.

Soon, he would walk upstairs to put their daughter safely in her bed. Soon, he would watch Charlie hug their son, before she made sure he was warm and safe in his bed too. He would lock the doors and windows of their home, before he would fall asleep, next to the woman he had been fallen asleep next to, from the day they had first gotten on the road back to Willoughby.

But for now he watched how Charlie walked to his son, and put him in her arms. He watched how Faith ran over to him and snuggled into his lap. She smelled like the day she was born, mixed with flowers and grass from their garden. He wrapped her close against his chest.

Charlie watched how Faith ran over to Bass. He was wearing that one leather jacket, that had made it through the years. She still loved him in it. She knew he was and would be the only man for her. No one would love her the way he did. No one.

Charlie sat down next to him and Faith on the step of their porch, when the last light of the day fell on their faces.

His life had been many things. He had seen many things. The road was long and dark. But it had lead him here. Soon, he would fall asleep and listen to Charlie's breathing until he would fall asleep. He would wake up with her close, and Faith little arms around his neck and his son waking them up from his little bed close to theirs.

But for now, he watched the sunset with his family, a lazy and happy grin on his face. He pulled Charlie under his arm, her face resting on his chest, while he wrapped an arm closely around her.

In his arms he held everything he needed.

Charlie looked up at him, her face stunning and beautiful, with golden sunlight in her hair and eyes.

They locked eyes.

They did not have to speak anymore, because just from the beginning, their eyes told the whole story.

_The End_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Family was there to make sure the story continued. Little pieces of herself were now in her children, little pieces of Bass were there too. They would grow up, and keep the story going.'
> 
> I think, that is the message I want to share with you, it was the line going through the whole story. It was about the things that will still be there, in a world with a blackout, in a life filled with grieve and loss. Family. Light in the dark. Love.
> 
> Here we are... at the end of this story. It's time to say goodbye, but as you can see, Charlie and Bass find themselves in a good place. They are home. I loved writing about them, loved writing about their journeys. Thank you again, for reading this story, for taking the time to send me reviews and kudos and follows and all those gestures of appreciation. I thank you, with a smile on my face. It has been wonderful!
> 
> Now this story is finished, it is time to return to my other stories and...to explore new Charloe stories! I am already planning new stories, so I hope to meet you all there again! I will start on It takes Two soon, and continue that story that I started a long time ago...
> 
> Until the next chapter of a new story... Love from Love


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